Dodie

friendship, grace, love, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Friend: Loving at All Times Through God’s Abundant Grace

DevotionalsFebruary 6, 2019February 6, 2019

We can all be tempted to be a superficial friend. Being a true friend requires God’s abundant grace to lay down our lives.

Resting on my desk in a silver frame is a photo of beloved friends sitting, smiling, and leaning into each other around a table. It was taken at a favorite restaurant in early December 2016. We had gathered to celebrate the season. Eating, laughing, and exchanging the silly gifts we each had brought.

Weathering Life

This group of 11 consisted a majority of a community group my husband and I led at the church we attended at the time. But a number of us had been together for several years and had walked many roads hand in hand. We had prayed, studied, laughed and cried together, which has a tendency to bond folks. In addition, we had weathered cancer, parents with dementia, kids moving away, babies being born, and mid-life career changes.

Behold how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity.

Psalm 133:1, ESV

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As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Proverbs 27:17, NLT

My husband and I live in another state now…

Sweet Melody

One of those friends called me today. Her voice was like a melody to a music-deprived ear. I’ve assumed they’ve all moved on without me/us. She had assumed we’re always busy with grandchildren. She began to cry as she shared how much she has missed us. My tears joined hers as we dispelled the lies the enemy had whispered in our ears. And we promised to do better, to call when we think about the other, to not listen to the lies…

Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.

Proverbs 27:9, ESV

Because God knows we need our friends, wherever they live. The enemy knows this, too; he prefers to keep us isolated and alone.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm, alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him – a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, ESV

Isolation is Unhealthy

According to God, we’re just no good alone; we don’t function at full capacity. I know this personally. Left to my own devices, I am a natural loner, an introvert. When I am unhealthy spiritually or emotionally, withdrawal is my first choice. Like a wounded animal, I crawl into what feels like a safe corner, keeping supposed predators away.

But in that corner, there is no one to lift me up, no one to keep me warm or help me prevail against my enemy. I am actually more vulnerable there.

The enemy prefers to keep us isolated. But God knows we need our friends. We're no good in isolation; we can't function at full capacity and tend to be at our most vulnerable state. Click To Tweet

Bad Rap

If you were to ask 5 people what a friend is, you’d likely receive five different answers. They may be similar descriptions, but all slightly nuanced to what that individual needs a friend to be to them personally.

You know, women get a bad rap as friends. Generally speaking, we can be the best of friends one day and the worst the next. We can be terrible gossips, revealers of secrets, and queens of jealousy. We can also show up with a hot Starbucks when night class is about to begin, (a friend once did that for me).

We’re also the first to recognize when something is troubling a co-worker and ask what’s up. We show up with a meal when someone we know had a baby or got a bad diagnosis.

Being a superficial friend is something women can do naturally. Being a true friend requires God’s grace…

That’s just how we are…which is why we must look to an unchangeable Word to instruct us on how to be a friend.

A Friend Is…

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13, ESV

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A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17, ESV

There was a time when I believed that laying down your life meant literally dying – and certainly, in some cases, it has. However, despite this culture’s obsession with death and the vast entertainment industry saturated with death, the truth is – the spiraling depression, anxiety and ever climbing suicide rates among our young reveals that it seems a much easier choice to die than to live and lay down one’s life daily.

Because, you see, the two are completely different.

Oswald Chambers wrote:

…It is much easier to die than to lay down your life day in and day out with the sense of the high calling of God. We are not made for the bright-shining moments of life, but we have to walk in the light of them in our everyday ways. There was only one bright-shining moment in the life of Jesus, and that was on the Mount of Transfiguration. It was there that He emptied Himself of His glory for the second time, and then came down into the demon-possessed valley, (Mark 9). For thirty-three years Jesus laid down His life to do the will of His Father.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

At All Times

What does it mean to lay down my life for a friend? My first thought is to be inconvenienced, probably because most of us don’t flex well. For an example, simply drive down the road and stop to let someone pull out in front of you. Often, the non-flexers behind you will honk irritably! Try it sometime.

It may be something different for you; you know what it is. Sadly, too often, I place conditions on friendships. My version sometimes reads:

A friend loves when it works within my schedule.

Or:

A friend loves when the other person doesn’t hurt my feelings.

Or:

A friend loves when the other person agrees with me doctrinally.

The list could be limitless, but being a friend would be limited. Proverbs 17:17 helps define true friendship: a friend loves at all times – not only when she agrees with me on parenting, politically, theologically or anything else, for that matter. I don’t read a waiver in the verse, do you?

Sisters, will you choose with me to lay down your life this year? It won’t be easy, but the Spirit will walk with us every step of the way.

Evan Kirby

forget, new, past, resolution, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Forgetting: Leaving the Past Behind and Pressing On

DevotionalsJanuary 21, 2019January 22, 2019

Forgetting the past and pressing on towards the future can feel unobtainable. But the Lord calls us to witness the new things He is doing in our lives.

Ah, a new year is upon us yet again. (It will likely take me six months to remember to write 2019!) A new year can mean different things to different people – a fresh start, a renewed exercise/diet plan, or beginning the latest Bible Study. Forgetting the former year’s mistakes or blunders may also be part of a new year agenda.

Have you been making resolutions? Thinking about resolutions? Breaking them already? I gave up New Year’s resolutions several years ago because it was too discouraging when I didn’t keep them…year after year after year! Finally, I accepted who I am: someone who doesn’t keep resolutions! Or…more honestly, is not going to stick to a diet or exercise program, which is, unfortunately, what they usually pertained to.

Upheaval

2018 was a turbulent year for me. As many of you know, my mom died in December of 2017, after a long and demoralizing battle with dementia. Following a five-year struggle against lung cancer, my only sibling died in June of 2018. In addition, my husband retired in August and we hauled our lives from our home state to another state to be closer to our grandchildren. In doing so, we left our oldest son and daughter-in-love, dearest friends, our church, and beloved neighborhood.

With so many upheavals occurring in my life within one year, chronic migraines assailing me, the latter part of 2018 found me hiding in a dark place, spiritually and emotionally spent. My prayers went something like this:

Leave me alone, God. I’m tired and sad and lonely. Tell me again why we moved? These migraines are disabling me – I’m useless to You now…and I’ve gained weight!

Arrested

But my Heavenly Father would have none of it. He waited patiently…and loved me through all the mess and self-pity. During the last few days of 2018, He arrested me with a challenge for 2019. Through His Word, the Spirit of God challenged me with a passage from Isaiah.

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18-19, NIV

I also love the wording of another translation:

Thus says the LORD, who makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters,…”Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

Isaiah 43:16, 18-19, ESV

As someone trained in the field of counseling, and as a veteran of therapy myself, I have spent a great deal of time looking back. Remembering former things is what you could call my specialty. Learning from the past, delving into family-of-origin dysfunction, which impinges on current daily life, old wounds which have never healed – studying these areas can lead to emotional health.

Drowning in them can lead to emotional sickness and death.

Forgetting

There are several instances in Scripture when God invokes His people to remember: Exodus 20:8; Deuteronomy 7:17-18; I Chronicles 16:12, 15; Luke 22:19; 2 Timothy 2:8 – to name a few.

There are also times when His people chose to remember God’s works to strengthen themselves in difficult situations: Psalm 45:17; Psalm 77:11; Psalm 78:35.

Remembering isn’t a bad thing, especially when we remember in light of Jesus and how He has worked in our lives. Remembering can become quicksand when we glorify the past or make it an idol, as though God can’t work like that, again. I know; I’ve committed that sin. It was subconscious, at first, but the message to my Father was the same: “You can’t top what you did in my life back there!”

Loss is Gain

If anyone had a license to point back boastfully to what God had done in his life, we all know it was the apostle Paul. Who among us was blinded by a dazzling light, clearly spoken to, and commissioned by the Lord Jesus Himself?! I won’t even go into his immense apostle resume, but he gives a rundown of his Pharisee vitae in Philippians 3. Nevertheless, Paul stated that his intellectual and religious past was, in his own words, rubbish.

But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ…

Philippians 3:7-8, NKJV

Pressing On

Can you imagine? In his day, essentially, Paul had gained the whole world. He was revered as a Jewish scholar among scholars. After Jesus captivated him, he became the apostle of apostles, if you will allow me license here. He preached to masses, healed many, cast out evil spirits, (Acts 19:11-20). He even corrected Peter before the Church council (Galatians 2:11-14)- Peter! the rock upon whom the Church was built! In addition, Paul wrote most of the New Testament. Yet, the accolades to which many of us would cling with tenacity meant nothing to him.

Not that I have already obtained this, or am already perfect; but I press on, to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:12-14, ESV

Forgetting

Forgetting what lies behind – the failures AND the victories. For some of us, it’s easier to forget the victories than the failures. They eat at us and gradually the enemy sees that they become our identity. The failures become little foxes that spoil the vineyards of our lives, (Song of Solomon 2:15), eviscerating us and leaving us powerless.

For others of us, the victories are clutched to our chests and we refuse to release them. They define us. Whether they are spiritual, religious, or business successes, we believe we would be naked, vulnerable…nothing without them. Perhaps our identity is wrapped up in them, so how can we forget those bouquets of victory?

Oh, Beloved, forget the former things; don’t dwell on the past. If we will lay down the past, our mighty God will do a new thing this year. He longs to. He will make a way in the wilderness of our lives and rivers in the desert that was once our dreams.

Press on, sisters.

Beloved, forget the former things; don't dwell on the past. If we will lay down the past, our mighty God will do a new thing this year. He longs to. He will make a way in the wilderness of our lives. Click To Tweet

mystery, unknown, safety, faithful, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Mystery: The Holiness and Fear Surrounding Not Knowing

Devotionals, Stay SaneJanuary 6, 2019January 13, 2019

Walking with mystery can feel very much like stepping off the abyss. Yet, if we choose a life without mystery, we’ve chosen not to see beyond the surface of God, ourselves, or others.

The lack of mystery in our modern life is our downfall and our poverty. A human life is worth as much as the respect it holds for the mystery. We retain the child in us to the extent that we honor the mystery. Therefore, children have open, wide-awake eyes, because they know that they are surrounded by the mystery.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, God is in The Manger, Reflections on Advent and Christmas

Literature

I love to read novels. All the major bookstores have long discovered that Dodie Smith is a sucker for books. They send me ads and coupons accordingly. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of my mother taking my brother and me to the library.

She also loved to read. She loved it enough to walk long city blocks with two young children to and from the local library so that we, too, would have the opportunity to enter the adventurous, mysterious world of books.

In the past, I read mostly literature and women’s literature, but for some reason, I’m tired of those. Many became too politically correct for me, I think. For several years now, I can lose myself for hours in a murder mystery.

Like my dad before me, I usually wait to read until an hour or so before bed; otherwise, I would never accomplish anything else! The nuances of discovering ‘who done it’ usually captures my mind rather quickly. If the plot moves too slowly or the main character isn’t likable, I move on to another book. Life is too short to stick with a boring book!

Mystery

Mystery. I often wonder why we lose the awe and wonder of childhood. At what point in life do we begin to feel the need to explain – or have explained to us – every, single detail of our existence? When did we decide that we wanted to be lord of our own lives…and over everything and have it all at our disposal, (Bonhoeffer).

I mean, that’s what it means, doesn’t it? The incessant, gnawing, obsessive need to know and understand everything…isn’t that a desire to be lord? To deny the presence of any mystery in our lives?

Yet, our God is and has always been, a God of mystery.

But there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries, and He has made known to King Nebuchadnezzar what will be in the latter days. Your dream and the visions of your head as you lay in bed are these:

Daniel 2:28, ESV

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Can you fathom the mysteries of God?
Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?

Job 11:7 NIV

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Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Ephesians 5:31-32, ESV

Misty Fog

In Bible days, it was unfathomable to live without certainty. The people of God were surrounded by this God who spoke from a cloud of glory or from the mouth of a donkey and raised people from the dead. But they never expected to understand it; the mystery was hidden from them. They were not given eyes to see…as we have been.

In reading this, then, you will be able to understand my insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to people in other generations as it has now been revealed by the Spirit of God’s holy apostles and prophets.

Ephesians 3:4-5, NIV (emphasis added)

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Now to Him who is able to establish you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery kept secret since the world began…

Romans 16:25, NKJV (emphasis added)

Yet, Jesus came on the scene and told His disciples:

…Because it has been given to you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven…

Matthew 13:11, NKJV

God, through His Son and His Holy Spirit, graciously…magnanimously opened our blinded eyes and allowed us to see through the mist, the fog, the cloud and behold His mystery!

I have become its servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness – the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the Lord’s people. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

Colossians 1:25-27, NIV

Secret Unknown

Hallelujah!

On one hand, mystery has been revealed to us – the mystery of the gospel, the greatest mystery of all. On the other hand, each day God invites us to walk with Him in mystery, in faithful not-knowing, resting securely within the secret place of the Most High. However, He never forces our hand into His.

Walking with mystery can feel very much like stepping off the abyss…every day – during some seasons of life. Yet, if we choose a life without mystery, we’ve chosen not to see beyond the surface of God, ourselves, or others. In some situations, it can feel more comfortable or expedient. In reality, despite what we profess, we’re expressing that we prefer a calculated life, and perhaps a god we can tame or even control.

I’d never call Him a tame God, but the God of mystery is always, always safe.

Walking with mystery can feel very much like stepping off the abyss during some seasons of life. Yet, if we choose a life without mystery, we've chosen not to see beyond the surface of God, ourselves, or others. Click To Tweet

Omer Salom

Christmas, Mary, revolutionary, favor, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Revolutionary: Expanding Our View of Mary, the Favored One

Devotionals, Stay SaneDecember 19, 2018January 13, 2019

Do we really know Mary? Yes, she is the mother of the Messiah, but she is also called favored, and righteous. She sets the example of being a revolutionary, living full of God’s power, and being a world changer!

“Mary, did you know…?” Picture me rolling my eyes.

CAUTION: It’s possible that I’m about to ruin for you one of the most popular and beloved modern-day Christmas songs of all time. The song is soothing, melodic (thanks to Buddy Greene), and asks a seemingly pertinent question. What I’m wondering, however, is how intimately acquainted the songwriter, Mark Lowry, was with Mary’s story.

Mary: Favored

Did HE know that God sent the mighty messenger-angel Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God (Luke 1:19), to a lowly peasant girl? Did Lowry realize that Gabriel, whose name means ‘God is great,’ was the same messenger who caused Daniel to fall on his face in terror (Daniel 8:17), and struck Zechariah dumb for questioning his message to him concerning John’s birth, (Luke 1:18-22)?

Yet, Mary, (while frightened when heralded by this magnificent angel,) was first confused that he called her favored. She was well-acquainted with her standing in Jewish society – she was poor, young, and an unmarried woman.

Favored? That word had never been used in reference to her before.

Mary: Righteous

Of course, there was the matter of becoming pregnant while remaining a virgin; Mary wondered how. Scot McKnight, author of The Real Mary, states that surely Mary was surprised at all of these happenings, but the “biggest surprise was that she consented to God’s plan.” Today, we have trouble grasping what she was agreeing to as an engaged Jewish girl. Her saying “Let it be to me according to your word,” would have ripped her world apart. Even today, imagine telling your fiancé that an angel told you God had impregnated you…and keeping a straight face!

Not only was she offering her reputation to be ruined and exposing herself to public humiliation, but her engagement to Joseph would most certainly have been reneged. Ultimately, she knew the Torah stated that she could face stoning (Deuteronomy 22:23-24). Life as Mary knew it would never be the same.

Most Protestants have cast Mary as the silent, docile, blue-clad mother of Jesus at Christmas. For the other eleven months of the year, we don’t have much to do with her because she was just some sweet girl God allowed to be the holy incubator for Jesus, right? Definitely, wrong; God isn’t in the business of giving anyone grunt work, (pardon the pun). And do we truly believe the Lord God would have chosen a random, small-town teen to be the mother of His pure and only Son?

In the NKJV, Gabriel calls her “highly favored one” and “blessed among women.” There is absolutely nothing random about those words. Because Mary was righteous, God chose to use her. Her faith in God gave her the courage to consent to His plan despite the suffering she would endure.

Mary: Revolutionary

Through the years, many of us have read or sung Mary’s Magnificat in a choir setting. Her Magnificat is found in Luke 1:47-55. Immediately after her cousin, Elizabeth, saw her, she began praising God for what He had done in Mary! (And believe me, Mary hadn’t texted or emailed her beforehand). Afterward, Mary offered soaring praise to God her Savior. However, in occupied Israel, verses 52-54 could have been construed as sedition. Imagine, meek and mild Mary – a revolutionary!

Would it shock you to know that a level of concern remains in the modern world toward Mary’s song in places where dictators fear an uprising among their repressed people? In fact, in the 1980s, the Guatemalan government “banned any public reciting of Mary’s Magnificat because it was deemed politically subversive,” (McKnight). Isn’t that astonishing?

I believe we need a paradigm shift concerning our views of Mary.

Mary was gentle, but also brave… bold…

and apparently a revolutionary!

The Magnificat

My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant.
For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for he who is mighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his name.
And his mercy is for those who fear him
from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm;
he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;
he has brought down the mighty from their thrones
and exalted those of humble estate;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
in remembrance of his mercy,
as he spoke to our fathers,
to Abraham and to his offspring forever.

Luke 1:47-55, ESV

How dare she utter such provocative words: He has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate. Herod had murdered for less under his bloody reign. He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away empty. Reckless utterances! The rich were the rulers, the powerful. With a word or nod, they could end her life.

Mary: Full of His Power

You know that sick feeling you have for a friend when she opens her mouth and spews out something at the absolute worst moment? Imagine she was stopped for speeding. You were with her. Instead of being contrite, she was belligerent. And you wish you could have slapped your hand over her mouth and said, “Woman! For the love of all that is holy, stop talking!”

That’s how someone listening to Mary might have felt… only more so. Her people were powerless, had been powerless, didn’t know the meaning of having power. While they obeyed the Torah, they quaked before the evil of which Herod was capable.

But she knew a greater Power. Mary knew the mighty One of Israel and believed He had come to set them free. She could not remain silent! Her faith in the Father emboldened her to follow Him onto a path that promised darkness and pain, but also mercy and deliverance. Mary stepped out into the inky unknown, resting in the palm of His hand.

Does this sound like the wallflower girl whom so many mistakenly picture Mary to be? I think not. Truthfully, I doubt if Joseph’s mother would have approved of Mary. She might not have been quiet or meek enough…but as Lynne Hybels titled her book in 2005, Nice Girls Don’t Change the World.

What about you… Are you a revolutionary Mary? Would you like to be?

Mary knew the mighty One of Israel and believed He had come to set them free. She could not remain silent! Mary stepped out into the inky unknown, resting in the palm of His hand. Click To Tweet

Ebi Zandi

freedom, grace, past, resentment, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Past: Leaving Resentment and Pain Behind Us to Live Freely

Devotionals, Stay SaneDecember 16, 2018January 13, 2019

The holiday season can quickly bring up old wounds and resentments within us that cause pain or anger. Leaving the past behind enables us to love freely.

Most of us have spent the first of America’s two major holidays of the year with members of our extended family. For various reasons, many of these family members are so out of our daily orbit that we only see them once or twice a year.

This could be a happy thing or an annoying thing. It depends on whether we’re talking about the favorite cousin with whom you had a blast when you were young, (yay!), or the rude uncle who always teased you until you cried and then laughed at you, (boo!). I imagine few of us have only Hallmark memories of the holiday season, but for those of you who do, I salute you. This piece may not be for you.

Expectations

Any therapist will tell you that depression and anxiety are higher around the holiday season. Sometimes it’s due to this being the first major holiday without a loved one (or the 10th), but very often it is due to family relationships and expectations, whether our own or what we perceive others have placed upon us.

Family systems therapists will tell us that unless we have differentiated from our family of origin, we can’t go home without being pulled back into the role we played within our family. I know; it stinks. But if you haven’t recognized it, you will.

The same, old resentments seem to resurface when the family gathers for any length of time – often for reasons that aren’t immediately clear. Siblings begin behaving in familiar, juvenile ways they would never exhibit with anyone outside of the family circle. Underlying tension can be felt by all. Anxiety hums beneath the piety. Maybe some false good cheer.

Triggers

The felt tension or anxiety may trigger excess drinking for some families. It could also cause mom to amp up the superficial happiness as she attempts to please everyone and keep the peace. These coping mechanisms numb the pain and eliminate the need to address any uncomfortable topics. Family members with less patience or tolerance, (or perhaps more emotional health,) start to exit, sometimes angrily, sometimes in tears, always with relief…

Another happy holiday is behind us!

Haven’t we all laughed – or cried – at the numerous holiday movies that portray these very scenarios?

Resentment

Psychologically, there is so much more that can be said concerning this topic. I spent 20 years living the above. Then, I thought if I studied it and understood it rationally, I could master the resentment and bitterness that had welled up within me. Despite my Bible knowledge, despite my growing academic knowledge, every year, every holiday I was gobsmacked yet again by the very same family dynamics that had entrapped me the year before!

Finally, after a professor recommended it, I sought therapy. Accompanied by prayer and spiritual retreats, and by God’s grace and mercy, God revealed to me how I had held on to all the pain – every. single. year. of pain. Doing so had not only deeply burdened me, but had laden me down with unforgiveness toward my family. I was so busy storing up the injustices, the barbs and ongoing criticisms, the substance abuse, that I was incapable of loving them with the love of Christ.

Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old.

Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43:18-19, NKJV

Free

The Spirit of God released me from my heavy load of pain and unforgiveness, instructing me to not dwell on the past. Believe me when I say that it wasn’t a once-for-all occurrence for me. It happens that way for some but was a slow sanctification process for me. However, the God who could make rivers in a desert, could and did deliver me from my sin and my past that had strangled me.

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,

I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:12-14, NKJV

Sisters lay it down. Aren’t you tired?

Whatever it is that you have been dragging around behind you, that deep sorrow in your soul for so many years; put it in Jesus’ hands. It’s wearisome to continue to carry it around. God’s Spirit may instruct you to take additional steps; I don’t know. But I do know that clinging tenaciously to past wrongs is death to us. By His grace and power, choose to leave it in the past and press on toward the prize, the upward call of God in Christ.

You are so worth it…because you are His.

Whatever it is that you have been dragging around behind you, that deep sorrow in your soul for so many years; put it in Jesus' hands. Click To Tweet

fake, pride, salvation, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Counterfeit: Why We Settle For Fake Jesus When He Offers the Real Thing

Devotionals, Stay SaneDecember 6, 2018January 13, 2019

When we apply addition to the gospel of salvation – Jesus + the Law, Jesus + works – it becomes counterfeit. It is no longer about Jesus, but about us.

My mom raised me with this example: Having grown up impoverished, she was determined to own nice things as an adult. She had a nose like a bloodhound for clearance racks with designer clothes and mom carried them like a beauty queen each day at work. She didn’t have a lot, but what she had was quality.

No counterfeits. No knock-offs for Betty, not even when it came to diamonds. Cubic Zirconias? Are you kidding me?! Don’t even. She kept her eye on a 1+ carat solitaire for quite a while leading up to their 25th wedding anniversary, then informed my dad that he was buying it for her. Poor dad. He had a hard time keeping up with all the money she told him she was saving him.

Genuine vs. Counterfeit

A lot of women like knock-off purses because they can’t afford the genuine article. Some are satisfied with CZs or crystals in their rings, or imitation leather shoes, but I was simply not raised that way. It’s the real deal or no deal. The real deal lasts longer, at least that’s what mom said and in this case, I’m prone to agree with her. I’ll just own fewer items of said thing. (I’m not sure my husband agrees.)

If we think much about it, our world is drawn toward inauthentic people, too. Rock stars, movie stars, sports stars…evangelical music stars or preacher stars (ouch!). Before you blast me, I am not implying all famous evangelical music/preachers are inauthentic. Genuine folks can be difficult to be around; you know, like looking in a mirror and not liking what you see.

I wonder if the prevailing, positive attitude toward counterfeit things or people is directly related to our tendency to accept and worship counterfeit forms of Jesus. Every denomination has done it since the early church, actually. In Galatians 1:6, Paul was astonished – think speechless with surprise – that the Galatian church had already turned away from the gospel he had shared with them.

I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel – not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ.

Galatians 1:6-7, ESV

Counterfeit Church

Paul was amazed! It seemed unthinkable that this church with whom he had shared the gospel of Jesus openly and freely had been swayed by Judaizers so swiftly into another belief system of Jesus+ legalism. He believed the matter was deeply important, so much so that he proclaimed that those who caused the Galatians to stray should be accursed – damned, doomed.

But even if we are an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.

Galatians 1:8-9, ESV

In light of Paul’s strong words, perhaps we should take a closer look, as well.

Jesus +

We’re not even original with this false worship. Shockingly, you will see in Gal. 2:11-14, Peter – the rock upon which the Church was built – was also intimidated by the well-spoken Jesus+ folks.

But let’s just pretend that we are original for a minute. How do we add to the gospel today? Remember: none of us are immune to this.

Jesus+Works

I’ll begin with my own way: Jesus+ good deeds or works. Now, we all know better than to SAY this aloud, but deep in our place of knowing there is a tiny voice tauntingly saying if I don’t DO (enough) good things I’m not ______, (saved, an acceptable Christian, etc.) However, the gospel of Jesus explicitly states that the death of Christ is sufficient to satisfy all of God’s requirements for sin, (I Corinthians 15:3-5; Romans 3:23-24; Romans 6:23).

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Romans 3:23-24, NIV

Jesus+Daily Devotional

Another way we counterfeit the good news of Christ is Jesus+our daily devotional. A truckload of guilt and shame results from this mentality. Are daily devotions beneficial? Absolutely. Will they help you grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ? If they are Christ-centered, clearly, yes. Will they add to your stance of salvation before our Father? A resounding NO.

Jesus+Prayer

I argued with the Spirit, just a little, about this one because it truly is a sacred cow…Jesus+ a vibrant prayer life. I know, I know! Most of us long for it, again, have felt guilty about not having a “bam-you’re healed!” prayer life. But I’ve got to tell you, over the years my practice in prayer has traveled from the laundry list of needs to following some respected guy’s formula, to a lifestyle prayer, to a more meditative form.

Prayer changes me most when I come into His presence and adore Him. Seriously, though? Each time I ask God to forgive me for not ‘praying enough,’ I hear Him say in my spirit, “I’m here. I haven’t left you.” It’s incredibly humbling and washes me with His grace.

Jesus+Politics

How about Jesus+ how you vote? Whether you are a Conservative or Liberal (and all that entails)? Please.

Less of Me

There are many more things we add to the gospel in our modern day because, well, then it’s more about us and less about Him. If I have anything at all…anything to do with my salvation, Jesus didn’t have to come and die.

So you see, pride is at the core of wanting to add to the perfect gospel. It’s more of me and less of Him instead of more of Him and less of me, (John 3:30). Oh…there’s that snake in the grass yet, again.

Paul is clear in Galatians – the genuine gospel is preeminently worthy of a zealous defense.

Be alert, warriors.

Pride is at the core of wanting to add to the perfect gospel. If WE have anything at all to do with our salvation, Jesus didn't have to come and die. Be alert! Guard against this mindset! Click To Tweet

Material gleaned from Rev. Jamaal Williams’ sermon, 9/16/2018 and Charles Stanley, Galatians: Letter of Liberation, The Living Insights Study Bible

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Wait: Allowing Stillness in the Lord to Become Dancing

Devotionals, Stay SaneNovember 6, 2018January 13, 2019

So much of life is waiting. It’s easy to allow our minds to race towards an ‘out’, but it’s in the wait, in the stillness that we find our faithful Lord.

I’ve kept a quote before me for years, decades now, I guess. It goes with me on my desk from location to location. Somehow these words ground me during the in-between times, the liminal spaces. The words were penned by the twentieth-century poet T. S. Elliot, but lest you think me a poetry buff, be informed that I found them quoted elsewhere, lifted from one of his works:

I said to my soul, be still and wait…

So the darkness will be the light,

And the stillness the dancing.

Such winsome words; truth rings out through their beauty. Scripture repeatedly bears out the value and reward of waiting, even in darkness and confusion…

To Wait Is Life

I’m trying to remember a time when waiting was ever my strength, my forte…

Nope, the memory isn’t coming. Yet, as I gaze over my lifespan, so very much has involved this very thing that most of us cringe at, wrestle with, and squirm under – waiting. Whether it’s waiting in the carpool line, waiting at the ATM, or waiting for the Amazon order, we don’t like to wait in this instant society.

If we find ourselves caught in a line, if you’re like me, our minds begin calculating similar to a military general. We search for ways to circumvent the system in order to expedite our exit. We’ve got things to do, deadlines to meet, people to have coffee dates with – WORK WITH ME, WORLD!

Consenting Where We Are

And don’t even mention waiting on God! He definitely has NOT entered the 21st Century of the Western world! Isn’t there a newer version of the Bible that has changed Psalm 37:5 from “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him,” to something like, “Get moving with God and He’ll get moving for you!”?

Right. I haven’t seen it, either. It’s just as well because I think we’d miss out on verse 9 if we rewrote verse 5…

For evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait on the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.

Psalm 37:9, NKJV

Generally, as long as life hums along smoothly, waiting quietly before the Lord seldom comes to the forefront of our minds or hearts. Waiting, you see, “is consenting to be where we really are,” as a monk from the Abbey of Gethsemane once said.

People recoil from it because they don’t want to be present to themselves. Such waiting causes a deep existential loneliness to surface, a feeling of being disconnected from oneself and God. At the depths there is fear, fear of the dark chaos within themselves.

Sue Monk Kidd, The Heart That Waits

Crisis

Unless a level of crisis disrupts our carefully choreographed days, the daily or weekly Bible Study usually suffices. Which may be why God orchestrates or allows, (however you choose to see it), an occasional crisis.

My most recent ‘crisis’ has been moving to another state. Being closer to grandchildren has been life-giving. Leaving close friends, our oldest son and his wife, and the familiarity of home have been more of a challenge. Believing I would hit the ground running, making friends, immediately involved in ministry, was a mind-trap I should have been prepared for. But, somehow wasn’t. I’m a master at setting myself up for the enemy’s lies of unrealistic expectations.

So, this is key; I need to be very careful and keenly aware of what is pulling my heart to rush away from the stillness. Here is the point where I can continue to make the situation all about me, have a pity party, call some friends to join me, (for prayer bandaids or commiseration), and not learn one thing from this period between death and resurrection. The other alternative is to sit before the Lord and ask Him, with the Psalmist, to:

Show me Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me. For You are the God of my salvation; On You I wait all the day.

Psalm 25:4-5, NKJV

How Long?

Am I willing to wait all day long (or a month or a year?) for the Lord to teach me His truth about this time in my life? Throughout the Psalms, David asked God to teach him His ways and to lead him on the right path, but there is never an indication that David believes the process will be instant. One of my favorite Psalms bears this out.

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14, NKJV

David believed in the goodness of the Lord. He didn’t lose heart – although he could have – because he was waiting in faith. His was a faith that had seen God deliver him over and over again. He anticipated God delivering, again.

How long are we willing to wait for the Lord to deliver us? Like David, we shouldn't lose heart, but have faith in God to reveal His truth. Click To Tweet

First Light

If you’ve ever sat through the night rocking a sick child…or if you suffer from insomnia, you know what it means to watch for the first light of morning slicing through the clouds. Sometimes, waiting on the Lord is like that.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning – yes, more than those who watch for the morning.

Psalm 130:5-6, NKJV

This much I know, waiting is difficult, but the loving-kindness of the Lord never ceases. He knows my weaknesses. He meets me where I am.

The song “Here Again” from Elevation Worship has bolstered my spirit as I have been preparing this devotional, mainly because this is a place I have to return with God repeatedly. He meets me here again…and that is cause for dancing.

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Beloved: Accepting Our Position As Dear to God’s Heart

Devotionals, Stay SaneOctober 22, 2018January 13, 2019

The words “chosen” and “beloved” can feel like a foggy memory from a story about someone else we vaguely remember. The Truth is, we are His beloved.

For the past few months, I have been doing a personal 8-week Bible study on Ephesians…I’m in week 3. (Don’t judge me). If you read my last devotional you are aware that I’ve had a few things going on in my life. Some days, finding my way to the study book, itself, has proven a monumental challenge. Believe me, sensing my beloved factor has hardly been on the radar!

“Christian” Mantra

This particular Bible study is written by the English professor, Heather Holleman. She took seven important verbs from the book of Ephesians and showed how they can be transformational in our lives. She used words like included, chosen, seated, renewed.

Well, I can’t just fly through each chapter and expect it to be transformative, can I? Apparently, I didn’t think so, because I parked for weeks in Chapter 2 with chosen. But why? This is elementary school material for Christians, isn’t it?

Perhaps. However, I have found that Christians of all denominational persuasions are very adept at parroting the mantra of “forgiven, chosen, loved,” but secretly wonder what the heck God was thinking when (or if?!) He called them. (You’ve known a few of those folks.)

There are days…dark seasons of disappointment, depression or loss, when I wonder, too. The words chosen and beloved can feel like a foggy memory from a story about someone else I vaguely remember…

Beloved Sweetness

About 30 years ago, I was introduced to my first book by Henri Nouwen. A quote from the book appeared in the newsletter of a Baptist evangelist my husband and I followed. His words so arrested me that I clearly recall where I was standing in our then-kitchen when I read them. They rooted me to the floor as I absorbed them and tasted their sweetness within my spirit.

I have been wondering if there might be one word I would most want you to remember when you finished reading all I wish to say… It is the word “Beloved,” …

Yes, there is that voice, the voice that speaks from above and from within and that whispers softly or declares loudly: “You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests.”

Henri J.M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World

Having been raised in a dysfunctional family, and attending a church that talked grace, but walked works, I had never, ever heard this message of being God’s Beloved. I’d like to be able to herald that I jumped immediately on the train of the beloved and sang it loudly from every pulpit of my life. It would be sheer joy to share that I gathered broken women around me, others who had never known the inner warmth of being cherished or chosen, and invited them to journey with me on this captivating road called Beloved…

Gather those who are broken and never knew the warmth of being cherished or chosen, and invite them to journey on the road towards God's beloved children. Click To Tweet

Striking Chords

But alas, I did not. An introvert at heart, I held this treasure closely. With no personal teacher to walk with me, and inner tapes or lies quick to point out my failings, I embarked on a circuitous sojourn. I read many books, studied under several Bible teachers, then went to a Bible college.

Afterward, I stretched outside my own denominational background. It involved enrolling in an MA program that was offered from the local Presbyterian seminary in conjunction with a nearby Catholic College. So, you can imagine how challenging that was for a Southern Baptist girl! The debates between us were wonderful, and many of us remained friends!

However, sadly, my formal, theological education did not teach about being beloved. But, don’t misunderstand, I received the intellectual knowledge that God loved me, John 3:16, etc. Somehow, that didn’t pierce through the self-hate and inner lies that mocked me so often as the passage from Nouwen’s book did…being beloved struck a deeper chord within me.

Beloved is someone who is greatly loved and dear to the heart. This term is used in 90 verses within 29 books of the Bible, especially found in the King James or English Standard Versions. Why, I wonder, aren’t these pointed out more where they concern God’s people?

In love, he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

Ephesians 1:5-6, ESV

Lies of the World

If we come to Christ and aren’t discipled well, or we are in a church that doesn’t teach much about God’s cleansing grace and unimaginable love, then it’s understandable when we struggle accepting being chosen or beloved. In fact, we continue to live under the power of the lies of this world…which are murderous.

The world tells you many lies about who you are, and you simply have to be realistic enough to remind yourself of this. Every time you feel hurt, offended, or rejected, you have to dare to say to yourself: ‘These feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself. The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God’s eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity, and held safe in an everlasting belief.’

Henri J.M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World

Overcoming

Don’t believe for a minute this is a new thing; the enemy has been lying to us since the Garden! Charles Spurgeon wrote about it in his devotional, (taken from his sermons,) Morning and Evening, published in 1869. Slog through the old English for a minute; it’s worth it!

Rejoice then, believer, in this: thou art accepted “in the beloved.” Thou lookest within, and thou sayest, “There is nothing acceptable here!” But look at Christ, and see if there is not everything acceptable there. Thy sins trouble thee; but God has cast thy sins behind His back, and thou art accepted in the Righteous One. Thou hast to fight with corruption, and to wrestle with temptation, but thou art already accepted in Him who has overcome the powers of evil. The devil tempts thee; be of good cheer, he cannot destroy thee, for thou art accepted in Him who has broken Satan’s head. Know by full assurance thy glorious standing. Even glorified souls are not more accepted than thou art. They are only accepted in heaven “in the beloved,” and thou art even now accepted in Christ after the same manner.

Imagine, even angels in heaven cannot experience the full acceptance and sense of being cherished as we, God’s Beloved.

You are His Beloved; on you, His favor rests.

Amen.

guidance. peace, disappointment, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Holding Fast: Letting Go and Allowing God to Guide Toward Peace

Devotionals, Stay SaneOctober 3, 2018January 13, 2019

How do we respond in the unexpected disappointments of life? We must learn to let go of our natural responses. Holding fast to God, while He guides us towards peace.

We find by losing. We hold fast by letting go.
We become something new by ceasing to be something old.

Frederick Buechner

Letting go, so we can hold fast? This is a paradox I can definitely relate to recently…

The Unexpected

Five months ago, when my husband and I made the decision to transfer our lives from Louisville, Kentucky to Wake Forest, North Carolina, we could not have foreseen the crazy chaos that accompanied the last week leading up to our move. Nor could we have known that we would be attempting to outrun hurricane Florence as we drove across the mountains of West Virginia.

Believe me, by the time we stopped to sleep a few hours into the journey, our excitement of living closer to our grandchildren was momentarily overshadowed by crushing weariness. Holding fast to God still seemed like a given…

Who knew that it would take an extra U-Haul truck to hold forty-six years of marriage? (What’s the meaning of purge, again?) Who knew it would take 4 days and exhausting our friends and family to load the two trucks?! (And that doesn’t count the 2 weeks of packing.) Who knew the moving truck would bust a hole in our driveway, which delayed loading?

…In Disappointment

Thankfully, we were unable to see the little foxes that were waiting to eat our vines, (Song of Solomon 2:15). Otherwise, the discouragement may have thwarted everything…because the mini-catastrophes didn’t stop once we arrived. Due to Lady Florence, the banks froze all mortgage funds to the Carolinas. Canceling the close of our new home and delaying the moving trucks 5-7 days.

Up to that point, I had been taking it all on the chin, staying positive, grateful for God’s goodness and our friends, thankful for safety. For some reason, the last news update about the moving truck triggered a short-lived meltdown for me and the angry tears flowed. (My daughter-in-law said it was about time; she was getting worried about me NOT having one!)

Holding Fast By Letting Go

All of a sudden, I realized how easily my heart pulls away from holding fast to my Provider. Especially when my plans continue to go awry. While the Spirit of God has matured me to be able to handle some hiccoughs and delays, through many years and painful situations, this was one blow after another. I had reached my limit, or as Psalm 107:27 honestly states, I was at my wit’s end. I had to let go of my idea of what should happen so that I could hold fast to my Lord and to whatever He had planned for us. His vision is clearer than mine.

Hear me, I believe God understands when I feel disappointment or sadness or anger. He isn’t intimidated or surprised by any feelings I may experience. In fact, He created all of us with feelings. However, when I use those feelings to express doubt concerning my Father’s provision for me, then I am questioning His character, which is sin on my part.

When I grip my plans tightly in my fists, insisting they happen according to my timetable, rather than holding fast to Him, I am heading for my own personal chaos. However, if we will cry out to God from the midst of our disappointments, foiled plans, storms of life, etc., He will rescue us…time and time again.

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven.

Psalm 107:28-30, NIV

God will Guide

I could weep when I slip away and sit before my Father, meditating on His goodness during this move…during this small piece of our journey. No, as of this writing, we still haven’t closed on our house – and there is no set date. Our furniture remains sitting on a truck in a hub somewhere. Our lives are in limbo. But God will guide us to our desired haven. He will receive glory, honor, and praise in the midst of it- not because I have been a super-Christian (if there is such a thing)…

But because He is a Supernatural God.

When we grip our plans too tightly, rather than holding fast to God, we are heading for chaos. However, if we will cry out to God from the midst of our disappointments, He will rescue us...time and time again. Click To Tweet

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Shelter: Allowing God to Teach Us How to Be Safe People

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 12, 2018January 13, 2019

The world is full of unsafe people, but God urges His children to be the safety. A person who will love and shelter, even in the presence of an insecure relationship.

Safe…who or what comes to your mind when you read that word?

I know I should say JESUS, but I immediately think of my husband. He was my first safe person. Reflecting back on my childhood I think of my room – it felt safe when the rest of my home did not. My mom focused on our weaknesses rather than admitting her own, so disapproval rang loudly among us. I spent a lot of time in my room. Did you have a safe place?

Recognizing Unsafe People

Unsafe people do not like to admit their weaknesses.

By age 11, Jesus was already whispering my name. I wanted to ‘join the church,’ which meant baptism in our denomination. Mom took my brother and I every Sunday and was happy for us to be baptized, (she forced my older brother to join me).

Unsafe people are religious instead of relational.

Mom was threatened by every friend I ever had. As a result, she criticized and found fault with each one. Therefore, I learned not to bring friends home. Eventually, I learned not to make close friends at all.

Unsafe people are self-righteous instead of humble. They see themselves above everyone else and refuse to see their own negative qualities.

By the grace and mercy of God, at the age of 13, I was invited to a church with a large youth group. They drew me in with their joy and the leaders loved me as much as I would allow. The other kids accepted me. In time, I learned that Jesus and His church could be a safe place. For decades, that church sheltered me and my own precious family. Then, like baby birds, we had to learn to fly alone with Jesus, trusting Him to be our refuge (Psalm 46:1) instead of depending on men, whose feet, we discovered, were clay.

Unsafe people demand trust instead of earning it. Unsafe people lie. Unsafe people are defensive.

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24, NIV

Safe People Don’t Condemn

Sadly, it usually takes many years of God’s declaration of NO CONDEMNATION over our lives before we feel safe in His love, safe in His strong arms of acceptance.

But as Ann Voskamp says so eloquently in her book, The Way of Abundance: “There is always more grace in Christ than there is guilt in us.”

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

Romans 8:1-2, NIV

As we learn that God, in His vast mercy, doesn’t condemn us, we come to realize that we don’t need to condemn, either. And when we do, we repent and find forgiveness.

As we learn that God, in His vast mercy, doesn't condemn us, we come to realize that we don't need to condemn, either. And when we do, we repent and find forgiveness. Click To Tweet

Love Bears All Things

Finding safe people with whom to be in relationship is critical to emotional and spiritual health. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend first wrote about this in 1995 in their book, Safe People. Their work continues to be utilized by Christian therapists today, and variations of it are used by therapists worldwide, especially those who work with domestic abuse victims.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 provides a model for us to follow in order to become the safe havens which are needed in this unsafe world. Most of us have read these verses dozens of times, perhaps even memorized them. Applying this passage to daily life proves more difficult. In fact, I struggle with each single verse! Verse 7 alone requires perseverance.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I Corinthians 13:7, ESV

Or as one theologian explained, the Greek usage indicates: keeps bearing, keeps believing, keeps hoping, keeps enduring. We don’t get to stop bearing, believing, hoping, or enduring after one, four, or fifty people. We keep on keeping on loving…like Jesus does because His Spirit lives within us.

Stego: Shelter

However, I stumble over ‘bears all things,’ mainly because I pictured it as being some stalwart, meek Puritan woman who keeps her head down and guts life out. Although I tried on the Church Lady “M.O.” from my 20’s to early 40’s, it just didn’t fit! Do you know what I mean?

But my image couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Love bears all things. “To bear,” isn’t a grimacing Puritan. In the Greek, “to bear,” stego, means to protect or keep by covering…as a roof.

Imagine being inside your home during a loud thunderstorm. Rain is pounding on the roof like marching band drums. Lightening is flashing and thunder booming as though fireworks are being set off all around you. The wind is blowing the tree limbs over to smack the ground…

Not to fear, however; you’re safe inside, warm and protected. This is love that bears. It provides shelter, a roof during the storms of life. Usually, people looking for safe are simply asking, “Will you love me? Will you love me as I really am?” Ann Voskamp said:

Real love is a roof. Real love makes you into a shelter, real love makes you into a safe place. Real love makes you safe.

Before we can become a safe shelter for someone else, we must learn to receive the grace God offers moment by moment, day by day. By daily breathing in His grace, forgiveness and mercy, we gradually learn to become vulnerable to Him…and then to others. Ever so slowly, as the shattered heart heals, we become open, poured out, and welcoming to other broken hearts.

We become stego for others.