grace – Page 2 – Oh Lord Help Us

mountain, valley, grace, light, darkness, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Mountaintop: The Grace of the Mountains and Valleys

DevotionalsMarch 17, 2019March 17, 2019

We often pursue the mountaintop experiences, yet life’s gracious road takes us through both the mountains and the valleys. The valley is a place of mercy.

My family and I recently moved to the mountains for my husband’s new job. We have a beautiful house just outside town, with stunning views. I am in absolute awe of the peace and tranquility our little mountain retreat provides. Sunrises and sunsets light up the sky in spectacular colors. And oh the stars, I’ve never seen so many! Our mountain haven is truly a gift from God.

Yet, living in the mountains at the top of a ridge has also given me perspective. Because, while the mountaintop is uniquely beautiful, there are challenges with mountaintop living, too.

Mountaintop Weather

As I am writing, I hear the wind howling against my windows outside. I have never in my life heard wind as strong as the wind we have heard in our short three months of living in the mountains. (And I grow up in Texas tornado country).

The wind is so strong and powerful! Sometimes our house almost shakes in the hands of this mighty rush. It is a violent force that carries a sort of reverence in its wake. This wind does not make me afraid, but I certainly sit up and take notice.

The mountaintop is more exposed to, not only the wind but all the elements of the weather. Oftentimes, there will be rain, ice, or snow at the top of the mountain. Whereas in the valley, the weather is more gentle. The air can be cold and harsh at the top of the mountain, and the fog sometimes gets so thick, you cannot see a car length ahead.

Mercies of the Valley

We naturally pursue the mountaintop experiences, yet life’s gracious road takes us through both the mountains and the valleys. The valley is a place of mercy.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4, ESV

Our back porch looks over a small valley, and sometimes I love to just sit and stare at our little valley. I’ve noticed a few things about the valley that I didn’t realize before.

First of all, as the sun gets higher in the sky, light pours into the valley! Sometimes, it is overcast at the top of the ridge, while the valley is full of light. Rarely, is our little valley dark and sunless.

We tend to think that the valley is a dark, depressing place. David refers to the valley as a “shadow of death” in Psalm 23. Although, in the words of D.L. Moody, “If there is a shadow, there must be light there.”

David also says that he is not afraid, because he knows, God, our Holy Shepherd, is right there with him. We are never ever alone in the valley.

The valley is safe.

The valley is warm.

In the valley, we are never alone.

The Grace of Mountains and Valleys

As hikers, when we crest the mountain peak and look out over the valleys below; we breathe a sigh of contentment. “Ah, the hike was hard, but the view is worth it,” one of us will usually say. The view on the mountaintop is beautiful, but the atmosphere is docile, quiet, solemn and lonely.

The view may never get old, but eventually, there always comes the time to turn around and begin the descent. The mountaintop is wonderful, and the valley is merciful.

As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people, from this time forth and forevermore.

Psalm 125:2, ESV

On the mountaintop, we see the beauty of the Lord, in the valley, we learn to hold His hand. We need both. Do not fear where He may lead you, every place is for knowing Him.

On the mountaintop, we see the beauty of the Lord. In the valley, we learn to hold His hand. We need both. Do not fear where He may lead, every place is for knowing Him. Click To Tweet

Kal Visuals

friendship, grace, love, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Friend: Loving at All Times Through God’s Abundant Grace

DevotionalsFebruary 6, 2019February 6, 2019

We can all be tempted to be a superficial friend. Being a true friend requires God’s abundant grace to lay down our lives.

Resting on my desk in a silver frame is a photo of beloved friends sitting, smiling, and leaning into each other around a table. It was taken at a favorite restaurant in early December 2016. We had gathered to celebrate the season. Eating, laughing, and exchanging the silly gifts we each had brought.

Weathering Life

This group of 11 consisted a majority of a community group my husband and I led at the church we attended at the time. But a number of us had been together for several years and had walked many roads hand in hand. We had prayed, studied, laughed and cried together, which has a tendency to bond folks. In addition, we had weathered cancer, parents with dementia, kids moving away, babies being born, and mid-life career changes.

Behold how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity.

Psalm 133:1, ESV

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As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Proverbs 27:17, NLT

My husband and I live in another state now…

Sweet Melody

One of those friends called me today. Her voice was like a melody to a music-deprived ear. I’ve assumed they’ve all moved on without me/us. She had assumed we’re always busy with grandchildren. She began to cry as she shared how much she has missed us. My tears joined hers as we dispelled the lies the enemy had whispered in our ears. And we promised to do better, to call when we think about the other, to not listen to the lies…

Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.

Proverbs 27:9, ESV

Because God knows we need our friends, wherever they live. The enemy knows this, too; he prefers to keep us isolated and alone.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm, alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him – a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, ESV

Isolation is Unhealthy

According to God, we’re just no good alone; we don’t function at full capacity. I know this personally. Left to my own devices, I am a natural loner, an introvert. When I am unhealthy spiritually or emotionally, withdrawal is my first choice. Like a wounded animal, I crawl into what feels like a safe corner, keeping supposed predators away.

But in that corner, there is no one to lift me up, no one to keep me warm or help me prevail against my enemy. I am actually more vulnerable there.

The enemy prefers to keep us isolated. But God knows we need our friends. We're no good in isolation; we can't function at full capacity and tend to be at our most vulnerable state. Click To Tweet

Bad Rap

If you were to ask 5 people what a friend is, you’d likely receive five different answers. They may be similar descriptions, but all slightly nuanced to what that individual needs a friend to be to them personally.

You know, women get a bad rap as friends. Generally speaking, we can be the best of friends one day and the worst the next. We can be terrible gossips, revealers of secrets, and queens of jealousy. We can also show up with a hot Starbucks when night class is about to begin, (a friend once did that for me).

We’re also the first to recognize when something is troubling a co-worker and ask what’s up. We show up with a meal when someone we know had a baby or got a bad diagnosis.

Being a superficial friend is something women can do naturally. Being a true friend requires God’s grace…

That’s just how we are…which is why we must look to an unchangeable Word to instruct us on how to be a friend.

A Friend Is…

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13, ESV

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A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17, ESV

There was a time when I believed that laying down your life meant literally dying – and certainly, in some cases, it has. However, despite this culture’s obsession with death and the vast entertainment industry saturated with death, the truth is – the spiraling depression, anxiety and ever climbing suicide rates among our young reveals that it seems a much easier choice to die than to live and lay down one’s life daily.

Because, you see, the two are completely different.

Oswald Chambers wrote:

…It is much easier to die than to lay down your life day in and day out with the sense of the high calling of God. We are not made for the bright-shining moments of life, but we have to walk in the light of them in our everyday ways. There was only one bright-shining moment in the life of Jesus, and that was on the Mount of Transfiguration. It was there that He emptied Himself of His glory for the second time, and then came down into the demon-possessed valley, (Mark 9). For thirty-three years Jesus laid down His life to do the will of His Father.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

At All Times

What does it mean to lay down my life for a friend? My first thought is to be inconvenienced, probably because most of us don’t flex well. For an example, simply drive down the road and stop to let someone pull out in front of you. Often, the non-flexers behind you will honk irritably! Try it sometime.

It may be something different for you; you know what it is. Sadly, too often, I place conditions on friendships. My version sometimes reads:

A friend loves when it works within my schedule.

Or:

A friend loves when the other person doesn’t hurt my feelings.

Or:

A friend loves when the other person agrees with me doctrinally.

The list could be limitless, but being a friend would be limited. Proverbs 17:17 helps define true friendship: a friend loves at all times – not only when she agrees with me on parenting, politically, theologically or anything else, for that matter. I don’t read a waiver in the verse, do you?

Sisters, will you choose with me to lay down your life this year? It won’t be easy, but the Spirit will walk with us every step of the way.

Evan Kirby

acceptance, approved, grace, salvation, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Exposed: Finding Approval in Jesus Instead of Others

DevotionalsJanuary 30, 2019January 30, 2019

Sharing about our past can leave us feeling exposed in front of others. Our approval comes from God alone. We must proclaim the good things He has done in our lives!

The lips of the wise broadcast knowledge, but not so the heart of fools.

Proverbs 15:7, CSB

Have you ever had a dream where you are naked and exposed in front of a huge crowd of people with nothing to cover up with? We wake up and immediately say ‘Thank goodness that was only a dream!’ I can’t say that right now as I type. Oh, how I wish I could.

I feel extremely exposed sharing my past. Sometimes I think I’d rather just act like that part of my life didn’t exist. But I know I can’t do that. So, I am exposing my past to you all whether you want to see this or not. This is 100% necessary in order for you to understand HIStory in my life. Ready or not, here I go…

Wanting Attention

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been the girl who was comfortable standing in the spotlight. As a child, I loved demanding the attention of a room by singing loudly and expressing myself in the silliest, most embarrassing ways. I sought and craved the applause I would get after finishing one of my solo performances. I didn’t care if I received attention out of sympathy; you know, the kind grown-ups give children that look homely.

I remember watching adults look at me with their heads tilted and say ‘oh you poor dear’. I was the child who would have the tangled hair, mismatched striped and polka dotted clothes with folded over socks in sparkly ruby red slippers. You know, THAT kind of attention! Yea, it never seemed to bother me how I got the attention, as long as I got it.

I enjoyed holding the microphone, standing center stage, under a spotlight dressed just like THAT without a worry in the world. A hot mess of a child who was carefree just wanting to put on a show for anyone willing to watch.

I was the never-ending story of a drama queen. Still am at times, if I’m being completely honest. I was always known to over exaggerate and use my imagination to its fullest ability. As a child, this behavior is often viewed by the world as ACCEPTABLE and ADORABLE. As a teenager though, this behavior would be likely viewed as ANNOYING and AWKWARD.

Desiring Affection

I was, am, and always will be a person that craves attention by affection. Physical touch is one of my love languages for sure. The best medicine to calm down my waterworks was a genuine, heartfelt hug. Still is actually.

As a parent now, I see how hard this must have been for my parents to do. Especially with the waterworks taking place inside a grocery store checkout line over a candy bar I was told I could not have. In that kind of moment, hugging is usually the LAST thing on a parent’s mind.

But hugs always seem to calm my soul and bring me back to reality. I learned that if I didn’t get the affection I so desperately needed from my parents, then I would seek it elsewhere. This need for affection carried into my adolescent years as well as my constant desire to be the center of attention. As you’ll see, this was not a good combination for someone living outside of Christ. The transition from a carefree energetic child to a rising adolescent in search of approval was quite a bumpy ride, to say the least.

Seeking Approval

My Dad’s job changed often. So, as a result, I moved around from school to school during my adolescent years. This made me a pro at using my outgoing personality to gain friends and establish popularity. I learned how to do my own makeup and started shaving my legs early on. I took pride in looking good outwardly because I noticed, very quickly, how much attention the boys gave me. Having the approval of boys was the key to my identity.

I was seeking their approval for so many things. I can still hear the thoughts going through my teenage mind… Am I pretty enough for him to notice me? Will this outfit turn his head my way? Am I cool enough to be his girlfriend?

All these things played in my mind every day before I would go to school. If I didn’t get the approval of the boy I wanted it from, then I would come home feeling ugly, unwanted and worthless.

This way of thinking is what led to my downward spiral of promiscuity and lust. I was fully aware of how to turn some heads. I was willing to push it as far as I felt comfortable, in order to receive the approval I was longing for.

Little did I know that I was completely misusing something inside of me that God intended to be used for good. This wrong way of behaving and thinking, unfortunately, kept making me feel unloved, exposed, dirty and ASHAMED. Who am I? What am I doing?!? How did I get here?! Is there ANYONE ABLE to help me?!

Finding the Answer

I’ll never forget the night for as long as I live. I was out partying at a club with my friend. She thought it would be funny to enter me into a mechanical bull riding contest, behind my back. Top prize to this particular contest was $100 cash.

What’s worse is that it was a contest that would be done wearing a bikini top and jeans in front of a VERY large crowd of people. I was mortified that she entered my name into this contest! I was already inwardly wrestling with who I was, and now here I go again seeking the approval of man.

Prior to this embarrassing moment, I had been invited by one of my Christian co-workers to a church event that was taking place over the weekend. I told him I didn’t have the $100 it cost to go. I’m sure you’re seeing where this is going. Yep. You got it! I won the bikini bull riding contest and used the $100 top prize to go to the weekend church event.

Yea I know…quite an interesting way to be saved! But it wound up being the best mistake I’ve ever made because it led to my salvation in Christ. I had finally found the ANSWER to my need for attention, affection, and approval. JESUS. Jesus was the ONLY ONE ABLE to help me recognize my sin and need for a Savior.

God instilled in me the ability to attract people and feel comfortable gaining the attention of a room. This was a gift He gave me that was never intended to be used for self. It was a gift intended to broadcast His truths and make His name known, not mine.

Writing for Him

Writing is the platform He has chosen for me to spread the good news of the gospel. The motives of my heart and how I live changed from making it all about me to making it all about HIM.

I have been following Jesus for the past 14 years, establishing a more mature and solid relationship with Him. Living this way has provided some of the most rewarding blessings! I have an affectionate, faithful husband of 10 years and three dramatic, imaginative kids.

My love bucket is beyond overflowing. God has handed me the microphone, and I’m excited to use this opportunity to tell more about Him and less about me. Jesus is the reason I write. He is the reason I make a joyful noise singing in traffic for all to see and hear. He is the reason I dance uncontrollably in my living room with my kids. And He is the reason I feel no fear of being exposed for Him.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed–a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: ‘the righteous will live by faith.’

Romans 1:16 & 17, CSB

Exposed for Him

When the world would see me as unworthy, unloved, dirty and ugly; Jesus sees me as a valuable, loved, pure and a beautiful gem. My identity is no longer defined by my own worldly way of thinking. My identity is now found in Christ Jesus and I no longer have to worry about feeling exposed! Exposing my testimony is now His good and for the good of others.

So there it is. This isn’t a dream, it’s my reality. And I humbly share it with you today. I’m ready to do the work God has called me to do! I’m unashamed because I know I have the approval of the only One that matters… His name is not Kristen, it’s Jesus.

Be diligent to present yourself to God as one APPROVED, a worker who doesn’t need to be ashamed, correctly teaching the word of truth.

2 Timothy 2:15, CSB

When the world sees us as unworthy, unloved, dirty; Jesus sees a valuable, pure gem. Our identity is not defined by the world but in Christ. Click To Tweet

Radek Vebr

freedom, grace, past, resentment, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Past: Leaving Resentment and Pain Behind Us to Live Freely

Devotionals, Stay SaneDecember 16, 2018January 13, 2019

The holiday season can quickly bring up old wounds and resentments within us that cause pain or anger. Leaving the past behind enables us to love freely.

Most of us have spent the first of America’s two major holidays of the year with members of our extended family. For various reasons, many of these family members are so out of our daily orbit that we only see them once or twice a year.

This could be a happy thing or an annoying thing. It depends on whether we’re talking about the favorite cousin with whom you had a blast when you were young, (yay!), or the rude uncle who always teased you until you cried and then laughed at you, (boo!). I imagine few of us have only Hallmark memories of the holiday season, but for those of you who do, I salute you. This piece may not be for you.

Expectations

Any therapist will tell you that depression and anxiety are higher around the holiday season. Sometimes it’s due to this being the first major holiday without a loved one (or the 10th), but very often it is due to family relationships and expectations, whether our own or what we perceive others have placed upon us.

Family systems therapists will tell us that unless we have differentiated from our family of origin, we can’t go home without being pulled back into the role we played within our family. I know; it stinks. But if you haven’t recognized it, you will.

The same, old resentments seem to resurface when the family gathers for any length of time – often for reasons that aren’t immediately clear. Siblings begin behaving in familiar, juvenile ways they would never exhibit with anyone outside of the family circle. Underlying tension can be felt by all. Anxiety hums beneath the piety. Maybe some false good cheer.

Triggers

The felt tension or anxiety may trigger excess drinking for some families. It could also cause mom to amp up the superficial happiness as she attempts to please everyone and keep the peace. These coping mechanisms numb the pain and eliminate the need to address any uncomfortable topics. Family members with less patience or tolerance, (or perhaps more emotional health,) start to exit, sometimes angrily, sometimes in tears, always with relief…

Another happy holiday is behind us!

Haven’t we all laughed – or cried – at the numerous holiday movies that portray these very scenarios?

Resentment

Psychologically, there is so much more that can be said concerning this topic. I spent 20 years living the above. Then, I thought if I studied it and understood it rationally, I could master the resentment and bitterness that had welled up within me. Despite my Bible knowledge, despite my growing academic knowledge, every year, every holiday I was gobsmacked yet again by the very same family dynamics that had entrapped me the year before!

Finally, after a professor recommended it, I sought therapy. Accompanied by prayer and spiritual retreats, and by God’s grace and mercy, God revealed to me how I had held on to all the pain – every. single. year. of pain. Doing so had not only deeply burdened me, but had laden me down with unforgiveness toward my family. I was so busy storing up the injustices, the barbs and ongoing criticisms, the substance abuse, that I was incapable of loving them with the love of Christ.

Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old.

Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43:18-19, NKJV

Free

The Spirit of God released me from my heavy load of pain and unforgiveness, instructing me to not dwell on the past. Believe me when I say that it wasn’t a once-for-all occurrence for me. It happens that way for some but was a slow sanctification process for me. However, the God who could make rivers in a desert, could and did deliver me from my sin and my past that had strangled me.

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,

I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:12-14, NKJV

Sisters lay it down. Aren’t you tired?

Whatever it is that you have been dragging around behind you, that deep sorrow in your soul for so many years; put it in Jesus’ hands. It’s wearisome to continue to carry it around. God’s Spirit may instruct you to take additional steps; I don’t know. But I do know that clinging tenaciously to past wrongs is death to us. By His grace and power, choose to leave it in the past and press on toward the prize, the upward call of God in Christ.

You are so worth it…because you are His.

Whatever it is that you have been dragging around behind you, that deep sorrow in your soul for so many years; put it in Jesus' hands. Click To Tweet

chaos, grace, kindness, season, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Kindness: 3 Tips for Floating on the Gift of God’s Grace

Devotionals, Stay SaneDecember 5, 2018January 13, 2019

The gift of God’s grace can be hard to accept. Acceptance means we are flawed and need help. But God’s kindness sustains us in our weaknesses.

Many different seasons make up life. Some seasons are full of blessings, some full of heartache. Seasons can be filled with joy, hope, trials, grieving, and chaos. My current season holds all of the above!

For us, this season started back in August, when we found out we are pregnant with our fourth child! We are absolutely overjoyed to welcome our little boy this spring. Immediately, I felt the Lord say that the child in my womb is a symbol of a new season of grace and favor for our family.

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:19, NIV

Grace-Filled

As I ponder over the past four months, I have truly seen the kindness of God abound in every area of our family life. However, a grace-filled season is not necessarily easy. And, it has not been an easy season for us. Just to be real, this season has been crazy!

My husband recently accepted a job working for an incredible ministry in another city. While, this is an amazing opportunity for our family, moving (while pregnant and with three kids) comes with its own set of challenges…

I have peace with the unknown, but I have all the feels.

I feel impatient with the process, and at the same time, I want to savor each moment just a little bit longer.

I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to leap for joy.

I just want to be settled in my new house, and I never want to leave my current one.

I can’t wait for Christmas. I hope our actual day holds up to the picturesque Hallmark scene in my head.

I’m so excited for this new adventure ahead, and I’m slightly terrified I won’t be cut out for the job.

I’m looking forward to our new friends and community, but I am mourning leaving the ones I love here.

The back-and-forth is exhausting. I’m longing to just be HOME. But, I know that home is heaven, and I hope in that.

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe,

Hebrews 12:28,NIV

Kindness

How do you feel about the move?

I hear this almost every day. “I feel everything,” is often my reply. And that is truly the best answer I give.

How can someone feel everything all at once? How can something so good also be so hard? Where is God in all of this? Why is He letting me go through this pain?

He is RIGHT. HERE. In the middle with me. He is carrying me through this season with love and kindness, and I am letting Him.

Many people have asked how I am handling or managing this crazy season. My response is always, “I’m floating on the grace of God.”

But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV

Grace is more than forgiveness. It is more than salvation for our sins. It’s His kindness. Grace is power! It is the gift of God, with the power of God to carry us through every situation in life. Grace enables us to overcome victoriously…

How do we float on the grace of God?

Grace is power! It is the gift of God, alongside His power to carry us through every situation in life. Grace enables us to overcome victoriously. Click To Tweet

3 Tips for Floating

1. Recognize you need Him. We are weak, and that is okay. Actually, it is good. When we are weak, His strength and glory can be displayed all the more.

2. Let Him carry you. Go at the pace that Jesus sets. His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always right!

3. Rest in His loving arms. When we are in a season of chaos is when we need God’s grace the most. We will fail. We will disappoint others. We will not be perfect. But, we can rest in His love. His loving embrace holds us in our imperfections, sustains us in our weaknesses and empowers us to continue.

When we float on the grace of God, we live every day victorious!

The Creative Exchange

forgiveness, grace, mercy, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Mercy: Receiving and Giving Forgiveness For Our Offenses

Devotionals, Stay SaneOctober 23, 2018January 13, 2019

Not all of our offenses result in punishment. Sometimes we receive mercy instead. When we experience grace and mercy, we can extend it to others.

It never fails. Something catastrophic always happens when my husband leaves town, and he leaves town kinda frequently. Hmm… Maybe it’s not when he leaves town. Maybe it’s just all the time. Or maybe I’m being a bit dramatic. Nah. That couldn’t possibly be it. This was definitely catastrophic, and it was when my husband was gone. Therefore, one must naturally conclude that this is just how it is.

I wish I could change the names in this story in order to protect the innocent, but that is not possible since it’s about my oldest son and myself. That poor child. Actually, my heart has a special affection for all oldest children. Truly. And this is coming from a youngest child. So, since I cannot hide the characters in this story, I shall hide the offense. It is, after all, his testimony to tell when he is ready to do so.

The offense…

We were cleaning up dinner on the fifth and final night that my husband was gone. My oldest son, out of the blue, began to make a sound that was a mix between a moan and a squeal. I had no idea what was happening. “Talk to me! What is wrong??” He replies with, “There’ll never be a good time to tell you, so…” And he proceeds to tell me about a sneaky thing he had been doing.

In that moment, the Holy Spirit took over my body. That is the only way to explain my response. My typical response is to express anger, raise my voice, and flail my arms. Honesty here. I’m a yeller. However, in this moment of him confessing, I simply began to weep.

This is not, I believe, the response he was expecting, but it was the response that allowed him the freedom to continue. Oh yes, continue he did. The depth of the offense was revealing itself, and with each new level, more tears were flowing.

The forgiveness…

When we finally came to the bottom of the pit he was in, I told him he needed to ask God for forgiveness. “I did,” he said. Ok, good. Then I say with a shaky voice, “You need to ask for forgiveness from me.”

He sat there, sobbing, breathing hard, for several moments. I could see the battle brewing within him; the struggle of pride versus humility. I did not rush him. This is a battle that is hard to fight through, and no one else can fight it. On this day, humility won out. “I’m so sorry.”

“And I forgive you,” came my immediate reply. But it was his response that will forever be etched in my heart: “But I don’t deserve it.” Reliving it, right now, in this moment, I can just start sobbing all over again. I pulled him into my arms and said, “Oh baby, none of us do. That is the point.”

The need…

My son is a good kid. He mostly does the right thing. He is kind and compassionate. The problem with being a good kid is that: a) they think they are always a good kid and become arrogant, and b) no, wait… “a” pretty much covers it. Arrogance leads to thinking we don’t need forgiveness. And if we don’t need forgiveness, then we don’t need Christ.

Even though my heart was broken that night, I was also rejoicing. Now, he understands his need for forgiveness, and what a gift grace and mercy are. He also knows (because the Holy Spirit took over my body and made me respond calmly – seriously, I take no credit here) that he can come to us and we will love him through whatever mess he is in. We are not accepting the mess, but we are accepting him.

My offense…

Oh, how I wish I could just share this story about my son and wrap it up with a nice little bow. But that wouldn’t be real. That would be me putting pretty packaging on a pile of poo. Sorry, if that’s too graphic, but that is how I felt a few weeks ago. Like a pile of poo.

It was, you got it… when my husband was out of town (I mean seriously, this is starting to become an issue). My neighborhood had just experienced a great tragedy, and I was a little neurotic with wanting to make sure everyone I love was safe. So when I couldn’t find my boys one night, I went berserk. Crazy. Nut-so.

I calmly walked up the street to the house they had been playing at; they weren’t there. Next, I blew the whistle (it’s this super loud one my husband uses to call the boys home – I hate it and only use it if I have to); they didn’t respond. I looked in the backyard, came inside; no sign of them. Then I walked to the other end of the street; not there either. It was officially time to panic.

Breathing deeply, I came in the house preparing to call all my neighbors, only to notice their shoes sitting by the back door. What. The. Heck. I yell their names, and they respond, “Yes ma’am??” Oh no! Don’t you go being all polite and good, I’m about to go ballistic!

My forgiveness…

No sense it airing out the full stink of my poo, so let’s just say I did not handle the fact that my kids were fine after I thought they had been abducted, in a rejoiceful way. We all sat hugging and crying for quite some time. I never have to worry about my kids thinking I’m perfect. Many times I have shown them how to ask for forgiveness with teaching by example. Sigh.

As my boys were getting into bed, I reminded my oldest (that dear dear child) of when he expressed to me that he did not deserve my forgiveness. With puffy red eyes, I said, “I understand how you felt. And I am in awe of God’s forgiveness, and grace, and mercy.”

But you, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy,
slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.

Psalm 86:15, NLT

My need…

I have heard it said that those who receive grace, are able to extend grace to others. This is also true for mercy and forgiveness. I too have been the “good girl” falling into the trap of believing I have my act together and don’t need help from others, or from God.

Oh, but I so do! Moments like this, where I fall so hard on my face that it feels like I’ve busted out all my teeth, are a gut-punch reality check. My need for a Savior is so great. Not so I can get stronger, or have all the answers, but so I can remember that His strength is the only strength I can rely on. And by remembering this I can be the hands and feet of Christ, loving others, lifting them, pointing them to the only One who can truly remove our ~~transgressions~~ poo. And stinky poo it is, indeed.

Our need for a Savior is so great. Not so we can get stronger, or have all the answers, but so we can remember that His strength is the only strength we can rely on. Click To Tweet

darkness, grace, pursued, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Grace: Allowing God to Pull Us Out of Our Darkness

Devotionals, Stay SaneOctober 4, 2018January 13, 2019

Darkness is overwhelming. Especially when we have dug our own holes. But God has pursued us through our darkness, and sits beside us, waiting to pull us out by His grace.

There was a point in my life where I sat cross-legged in a very dark hole. Thoughts of shame filled my mind as I thought about the previous night’s endeavors; and the night before that, and the night before that. I had convinced myself that the shame I felt was normal. That I was simply living the life those around me lived. I was acting the right way, participating in the right things, and talking about the right stuff.

I was doing it all “right,” but it left me so empty and that emptiness cultivated into dirtiness. I was so sure that my mess of a self, would never know anything outside of that dark place. And I fed that lie for about two years.

The Darkness Began…

That lie began with the combination of worldly standards and personal stubbornness. I didn’t truly know God at the time. I knew of Him but didn’t have a relationship. So, to me, He wasn’t offering anything better than the circumstances I was in. He wasn’t showing up. I was so lost in the sea of “fitting in” that my heart was hardened to His call.

By going from a rough home life to the college life, my rebellious stamina took over. It happened so fast that I didn’t even realize I was drowning in the enemies lies.

But God…

He never stopped pursuing me. He never stopped calling me. I believe we often must break down to our knees in order to realize how much we need Jesus. He orchestrated the people I needed in my life to boldly step out in faith and talk to me. To love me. The only thing I knew about God was that He was “good.” So, why did I feel so broken?

Because I didn’t truly know Him, I hadn’t received Him, and I didn’t understand my need for Him. The lies of the enemy manifest in the cultures we live in through the pressures and demands of our peers. I believed the lie because those around me did too.

But God…

Rescued

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.

Ephesians 2:8, ESV

There is no such thing as too far gone. There is no such thing as too dirty. We have a King that is not afraid to step down from His throne, meet us where we are and rescue us. So, if I had never hit the bottom of that hole, I might have never climbed out. If I had never broken down, I might have never realized my deficiency. If the trials and struggles didn’t happen, I might have never cried out to God.

He knows what we need to surrender. He has the power to open our eyes and ears to Him and that decision has nothing to do with our shame. Our shame has already been cleansed by the cross. Our dirt has already been washed clean by our Savior. We have already been forgiven by the overwhelming grace of God.

There is no such thing as too far gone. There is no such thing as too dirty. We have a King that is not afraid to step down from His throne, meet us where we are and rescue us. Click To Tweet

Jesus Conquers

You see, the truth is that the culture I was following and the people I was mimicking, need Jesus too. The truth is that the ones who were degrading me, the ones who were judging me, and the ones who decided I wasn’t enough, need Jesus too.

I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.

John 8:12, ESV

We start off in a darkness. We start off living in a sin-filled world. We are automatically thrown into temptation and betrayal. BUT God says He has a way out. God says He is the light that thwarts the holes we recklessly sit in. Learning this truth only grew my relationship with God deeper.

It taught me the cruciality in hating my sin and loving Jesus. It taught me love conquers evil, every single time; but that that conquering doesn’t necessarily mean a bloodless one. It can mean hurdles and hurt just as much as joy and peace. The point is, because of the truth we endure it all.

Gift of Grace

So, what do we do with this truth? If you are currently sitting in that dark hole. If you are feeling the grip of shame and the chains of inadequacy, if you lie awake at night replaying the mistakes over and over again- let go. Know, that those who have put you there, whether it be others or yourself, know that both culprits desperately need Jesus. And that, my friend, let’s you off the hook and gives God all the power.

Knowing that it is neither on you or them to be flawless or perfect is so freeing. The gift of grace is a gift for a reason, we don’t deserve it. But that’s not a worry in His divine plan and unconditional love for us. He wants us to know Him and to run to Him. So, He is right there next to you in that dark hole just waiting for you to take His hand and open your eyes to His light.

Amy Hornbuckle is a writer full time, wife to Dillon, part-time Children’s Director at her church, and is passionately pursuing the word and walk of God. Her online ministry is designed to help you do the same by providing biblical resources and content. Learn her intentional method of studying God’s word, called the Jesus Meet Me method.

Outside of the ministry, she is an adventure junkie who loves to take her dog hiking, camping, trail running, paddle boarding, essentially anything outside and you can find her there!

Ministry: www.takeawalkministries.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/takeawalk.ministries

middle, fear, faith, Oh Lord Help Us, mentor, women, ministry

Middle: Trusting God’s Grace to Empower Us Daily

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 26, 2018January 13, 2019

The grace of Jesus not only saves us for eternity but empowers us to live daily for Him. Let us not forget the power within us when we feel stuck in the middle.

Have you ever tried something really incredible? Something you didn’t think you could do, but you tried it anyway? Have you ever done something that no one else is doing, but it just feels right to you and makes you come alive?

When I was a teenager, I loved water-skiing. The way the wind and waves splashed in my face as I skidded across the top of the water made me feel on top of the world. I know many people like to water ski, but when I was fourteen, I didn’t know any other kids my age who were getting up at the crack of dawn during summer just to master the slalom (one ski).

Stepping Out

Sometimes today, I still have those slalom moments, where stepping into the incredible makes me ask myself, “Am I crazy?” I wonder if this is how Peter felt in Matthew 14 when he walked on the water with Jesus.

I love this story, not only because of the water, or that two people defied gravity and actually stood, walked on top of the waves, but because of the many ways we see God through this encounter.

If you aren’t familiar with the story, Jesus, after a full day of ministry, sends his disciples out onto a boat to cross the lake, so he can get some time alone to pray. He tells them he will join them later, but in the middle of the night, Jesus comes to them, walking on the water! The disciples are naturally terrified and imagine they have seen a ghost, but Peter shouts, “Lord, if it is really you, command me to come out on the water to you.” Jesus simply replies, “Come,” (Matthew 14:28-29).

Power for the Impossible

Peter, of course, gets out of the boat and begins walking on water toward Jesus. Walking on water! That’s amazing! No one on earth before or since has ever done anything like that. No tricks, no speedboats, no skis or ropes, just Peter and Jesus walking on the waves.

Peter inspires me in this encounter. I love his reasoning (Of course, if it’s really Jesus, he will empower me to walk to Him). I love his brazen request, and his boldness to step out of the boat! He may have spoken faster than he was thinking, but he didn’t go back on his word. Jesus said, “Come,” so he went.

Peter fully believed Jesus could make him do the impossible. And He did.

Do you believe God is the God of the impossible? That the same God who gave Peter the power to walk across the waves, can do the impossible for you?

Peter fully believed Jesus could make him do the impossible. Until…

In the Middle

Suddenly, Peter started looking around. He realized what he was doing was insane. He saw the waves lapping up against his feet, and with every splash, fear set in deeper and deeper until Peter started to sink.

But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.”

Matthew 14:30, ESV

“Lord save me.” So often in my own life, my high faith, believing in the impossible quickly becomes, “Lord save me.”

Do I forget who called me in the first place? Who is responsible for this incredible miracle? I do.

So often, just like Peter, when I am in the middle, I forget that I am with Jesus. I forget that He is the One who started this impossible task and that He is the One empowering me to move forward. I get scared and I cry out, “Lord save me!” when Jesus has invited me to walk on water with Him.

How often do we believe that Jesus will save us, but forget He also empowers us?

Peter walked on water with Jesus and then cried out for Jesus to save him when he started to fall.

Grace Sustains in the Middle

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV

After they got on the boat, Peter was rebuked for his lack of faith. Where did Peter lack faith? Did he lack faith that Jesus would rescue him? No, not for a second. He lacked faith in the process, the middle. He didn’t believe Jesus could empower him to keep going when things got hard.

The middle is a wonderful place to be because there is grace and power for you in the middle.

God’s grace didn’t stop at the cross. It is by grace that we are saved, yes, but it is also by grace that we continue on. Grace is more than just favor, or not getting what we deserve. Grace is power!

God's grace didn't stop at the cross. It is by grace that we are saved, yes, but it is also by grace that we continue on. Click To Tweet

Power Over Fear

I have a plaque hanging by my front door with the words “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.” Those words come from the song, Oceans, by Hillsong United, and they are the echo of my heart! I want to push past fear, the unknown, the uncomfortable and awkward to walk on the water with my King. He has given me everything I need. And I can trust Him.

Don’t let fear rob you of the joy of walking on the water with Jesus. If you cry out prematurely, our good God will save you, but you may miss something amazing.

Let the words from this song wash over your hearts today. This is my prayer for all of us. And if you are in the middle, you are in a great spot, because you are standing with The King!

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander. And my faith will be made stronger. In the presence of my Savior.

Oceans, Hillsong United

moments, time, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentoring, ministry

Moments: Surrendering Our Time as God’s Instruments

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 3, 2018January 13, 2019

Surrendering our time to God is important. When we structure moments on being His instrument, we can find rest and assurance through God’s perfect design.

In relationships, I tend to say “yes” a lot. Does someone need a meal? I can deliver. Did someone lose their babysitter last minute? Bring your kids to me. You need me to do that extra administrative work? Done. If there is a sincere need and I am able, why would I not engage? The problem is, while all of those things are well-intentioned, the day to day obligations constantly get pushed to the end of the week and I am left with a mountain of responsibilities.

Under Pressure

Some people work well under pressure. Me, not so much. The general stress of life or feeling overwhelmed by all the tasks I have taken on, lead to me shutting down and ignoring my obligations. The task at hand will eventually get completed, so it can wait, right? This happens on a weekly basis, leading to things falling through the cracks. There have been many days when I have arrived at work only to realize I forgot my computer or some other pertinent item necessary for executing the day. It is not the end of the world, but neither is it a wise use of time or gasoline. When the pressure is on to complete a task, I feel irritable. As a result of my negligence, my family suffers, whether by my absence or my clipped responses when I am hurried to fulfill my obligations.

Moments Past

As a homeschooled child, once I had completed my work I would engage in imaginative play for hours. If I had chores to complete, my mother encouraged me to get chores out of the way so as to not have them hanging over my head. But as I recall, play always came first. It’s not unusual for children to choose play time over work. I definitely viewed work as a negative thing. My parents rightly believed schedule provided security for children. So each day, plans were laid out for my brothers and I. I dawdled and daydreamed through my homework every day. I was always the last to complete my lessons.

When I secured my first full-time job working in accounting everything was laid out for me with little room for error. I arrived early, completed my work, went home, made dinner and repeated the cycle the next day. That was a time in my life when organization was easier because my responsibilities were plainly stated. I knew what was expected of me and I prided myself as a reliable, hard worker.

Taking on More

When my husband and I started having children we chose for me to stay home with them. Organization grew dim with the second baby and after the third, survival mode kicked in and all semblance of order flew out the window. In the haze of financial strain, three children under six and no end in sight, I began seeking moments of comfort and rest wherever I could attain it. I escaped into books and movies. Or I would stay at friends’ or family’s houses for long periods of time.

As time has gone by, the kids have grown and the money isn’t as tight, but I continue to squander away my moments and put off tasks until the last minute. I receive high marks in my annual reviews at work. But what is the greatest area for improvement each year? Time management.

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12

Seeking Wisdom

Currently I am learning to live daily in light of eternity. When I don’t live with a gospel mindset, my day is my own and I forget that I have been bought with a price. I have attempted and failed on many occasions to organize my time with things like keeping a calendar and posting sticky-notes all over the house. These are not bad tools, and I totally still use them. However, my heart hasn’t changed through their usage. So ultimately neither have my actions.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Proverbs 19:21

When I give a poor performance I get frustrated. Letting people down wounds my pride! At times I haven’t even known what to pray. Do I ask God for deliverance? Or do I ask him to teach me or fix me or give me motivation? Thanks be to God, he knows exactly what I need and when I will have a right understanding. (Romans 8:26)

Spelled Out Plans

One of my favorite passages of Scripture has been Micah 6:8 because it gives specific instructions. All my life I have found solace in quick solutions. Micah proposes,

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8

For a long time I have sought to act objectively and compassionately toward those around me. Somehow, I thought that by performing those two initial charges it would equal the third of walking humbly with God. Yet I see how I have performed these tasks to my own fame and inflation, not for the glory of God.

Moments of Grace

God has humbled me by using my lack of discipline to teach me and speak tenderly to me. During some of my unanticipated extra moments on the road as a result of forgetfulness, the Father has reminded me of how small I am and how deeply loved I am as His adopted child. In His goodness, God tells me again that the struggles I face aren’t new, but I am to pray wholeheartedly with expectation to Jesus, who is able. When I feel stressed God points me to his Word.

And he said to them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

Luke 10:2

If it is to be, it is not up to me. It is His harvest. But God invites me as His child to be a part of the work He is doing.

If it is to be, it is not up to me. It is His harvest. But God invites me as His child to be a part of the work He is doing. Click To Tweet

Instruments for God

Ultimately, the most refreshing days are when I begin in the Word, receive direction from the Lord, and keep my mind focused all day on the truth that I am an instrument in the hand of a loving God. Understanding my purpose permits me to accomplish whatever lies ahead. It also gives me the freedom to rest, confident that my hope is in the finished work of Jesus Christ and my life is secure in Him. I can spend my time doing good according to God’s perfect design through the power of the Holy Spirit.

All scripture references come from the ESV Bible.

forgiveness, grace, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, ministry

Clean: Understanding Hurts and Extending Forgiveness

Devotionals, Stay SaneMay 14, 2018September 8, 2019

When we understand the past of people who have hurt us, we are more capable to extend grace. We are able to wipe their slate clean with forgiveness.

When I was in grade school, I loved it when my teacher would choose me to wipe the chalkboard clean at the end of the day. There was something almost magical about that simple physical process. What had been a murky mess—rows of math tables, diagramed sentences, partial erasures, and a lingering cloud of dust—could be wiped completely clean. What remained was literally a new, clean slate for the next day’s instruction.

As believers, we can glean a simple yet profound message here: the Lord’s forgiveness is a complete work, with mercies that are new each day. In Isaiah we read:

I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.

Isaiah 43:25, KJV

And in the Psalms we’re reminded of just how far away He casts ours sins:

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103:12, KJV

An Ever-Present Need

Being a mom of two young kids has done wonders in teaching me about the need for mercy and forgiveness. From meltdowns, to accidents, to intentional misbehavior (and those are just on my end!), to sibling rivalry, and the list goes on… We have an ever-present need for grace, mercy, and forgiveness in our home. Many days I feel as if I’m working at a deficit in my parenting bank. But if I’m operating in the red, that is precisely the time to turn back to the blood of Jesus. To let His strength perfect me in my weakness; to allow His forgiveness to flood my soul; and to let Him father me as I mother my children.

Misuse of The Rod

It has been hard for me to wrap my head and heart around the notion that God is a loving dad who gently guides me and forgives me when I make mistakes. My slowness to internalize this truth stems from the lies I learned and the wounds I sustained when I was very young. I was raised in a strict, legalistic, and abusive home. Repentance and chastisement were heavily emphasized, but somehow forgiveness seemed to be forgotten. If it’s the Lord’s goodness that draws us to repentance (Rom. 2:4), it was my mom’s misuse of the rod that drove me further from her, and for many years, further from God.

I remember one day when I was probably four years old. I had dropped a jar of cream that shattered and spilled all over the kitchen floor. Positive parenting classes I’ve taken would likely recommend a patient response to this kind of scenario. Consider whether a task is age appropriate for the child; acknowledge when something is an accident; enlist the little one’s help to clean up the parts of the mess that are safe for her to tackle. Patience, mercy, kindness. A Christ-like response.

But my mom had torn a page from a different kind of book and claimed that it was from the Good Book. She began shouting at me; dragging me out to the dark mudroom where she would whip me repeatedly on my backside with a leather strap. She slammed the door behind her, leaving me alone, scared, and wounded in the dark.

Tiptoeing on Eggshells

This was the typical pattern. I would misbehave somehow or accidentally break or spill something, and the hammer would come down. Hard. I would be “disciplined”, which usually meant abused, and a silent treatment would ensue. The painful welts on my body or missed meals were nothing compared to the punishment inflicted by Mom’s cold shoulder of emotional isolation.

I would then have to tip toe on eggshells and placate my mom until her storm of anger passed. Rarely, if ever, was there a loving conversation about how my misbehavior could be changed or what a reasonable consequence would be if I committed the same offense in the future. Instead, I would be forced to say sorry and accept the blame for whatever had happened. I can’t ever remember a time in those early years when Mom asked me to forgive her for how she had treated me.

On Pins and Needles

My mom died nearly three years ago. I recall a conversation I had with her a few years before she died. In the past, she had told me that she was raised in an orphanage from age seven until she graduated high school. But she had never gone into detail about what she had suffered there.

During her years at the orphanage, Mom found herself in the unfortunate position of being under the tutelage of a strict and abusive house mom named Ms. Hupp. Mom had harbored a deep fear of and hatred for this woman. She said Hupp would wake up all the girls before dawn, barking orders at them to get dressed, make their beds, straighten their belongings, and report for duty. Duty entailed meticulously hand scrubbing floors, washing walls, helping prepare meals, and various and sundry other tasks that she seemed to create just for the sake of keeping all the girls busy. Mom said Hupp’s constant scrutiny and criticism kept her on pins and needles.

Connecting the Dots

As she described Hupp’s mistreatment, I began to connect the dots to my own experience of how Mom had treated me when I was little. Young women sometimes joke that one day they will probably become their moms. Well, Mom had grown up and become like Hupp. Without her own mom in the picture, she had learned from the only mother figure she knew. As Mom spoke about her hard heart toward Hupp, I could identify with her anger, but in a way, my own heart was softening toward my mom. Mom told me how the Lord had helped her to finally forgive Ms. Hupp. She said He had let her see Hupp’s wounded heart so that she could forgive her. As I write this, I can say that I have forgiven my own “Hupp” too.

Wiping the Slate Clean

After many years, my mom asked me if I could ever forgive her for all the ways she had mistreated me. When I told her that I had already forgiven her, I could almost see a weight lift off her. For so many years, she had borne the heavy shame and regret of her abusive behavior. Her abuse drove my dad to divorce her and fight for full custody of me and my siblings. Her abuse made it impossible for us to return to live with her when my dad died. But the pain Mom inflicted also drove her to her knees, to sincerely repent to the Lord and seek His forgiveness.

Although she knew she had been forgiven, she still struggling with the shame of the hurt she had caused. Somehow, she still needed to hear that I had forgiven her. Although we can seek the Lord’s forgiveness, we also need to humble ourselves to ask forgiveness of the people we have wronged; and we need to extend forgiveness to those who have wronged us. When we do so, we are free to fully love and be loved.

And when you pray, make sure you forgive the faults of others so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you withhold forgiveness from others, your Father withholds forgiveness from you.

Matthew 6:14-15, TPT

Is there someone in your life whose slate you need to clean with your forgiveness? Is there someone whose forgiveness you need to seek?

Although we can seek the Lord’s forgiveness, we also need to humble ourselves to ask forgiveness of the people we have wronged; and we need to extend forgiveness to those who have wronged us. Click To Tweet

Keilidh Ewan