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Compelled to Forgive: Forgiveness in Light of Grace

DevotionalsSeptember 24, 2019September 21, 2019

We are compelled to forgive not by our own strength or love for others, but by the staggering love of our Savior and His sacrifice on the cross.

For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
2 Corinthians 5:14-15, NIV

The emotions all collided in that brief moment and the result was an eruption of tears. I sat there with my soon-to-be in-laws trying to contain the turmoil and confusion within me. But to no avail.

With the bitter taste of loss lingering in my heart and mind, I tried to come to some understanding as to why my friend would seemingly erase me from her life in the matter of a week.

Memories of our last time together only confused and our future plans, now vanished, were like salt in an open wound.

In the weeks that have followed, I’ve found myself face-to-face with the matter of forgiveness more than once. From sitting across the table helping another gal forgive a deep hurt, to every verse in the Bible somehow pointing to the discipline of forgiveness. And then to my own personal wrestling with forgiveness in the middle of the night.

Though the situation goes far deeper than the visible consequences and aftermath of my friend’s decision, there is still something that can be said about forgiveness in the midst of personal pain and offense.

A Slap Across the Face

As I expressed my hurt and confusion to a dear friend, she offered a piece of advice. You know, the kind of advice that will stick with you for the rest of your life…

As much as our hearts are grieved when a friend walks away, think about how much more God’s heart is grieved when we walk away from Him every single day.

My friend’s decision felt like a slap across the face. Dazed and confused, I tried to collect my thoughts and as I sorted through the broken pieces, I was gently reminded that in this hurting, I was not alone; that my Lord and Savior was also slapped across the face.

John 18 tells us the story –

Meanwhile, the high priest questioned Jesus about his disciples and his teaching. ‘I have spoken openly to the world,’ Jesus replied. ‘I always taught in the synagogues or at the temple, where all the Jews come together. I said nothing in secret. Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said.’ When Jesus said this, one of the officials nearby slapped him in the face. ‘Is this the way you answer the high priest?’ he demanded.
John 18:19-21, NIV

A Choice

Though the circumstances might vary, I’m sure we can all come up with at least one time when we have felt slapped across the face; when we have been wronged, accused, or slandered.

And in every case, we have done one of two things – reacted emotionally or responded gracefully.

If you’re like me, you can look back on the trail of emotional reactions you’ve left behind and regretted the words you’ve said. As we’ve grown and matured in our faith, we recognize how we could have handled certain situations better; how we could have responded with grace rather than with anger.

And in realizing this, I for one have found myself in a self-imposed solitary reprimanding over and over again to be better, to forgive quicker, and to never allow feelings of anger to consume me like that again.

Despite what we may think, this is not where being compelled to forgive comes from. We will never be able to muster up the strength to forgive within ourselves. We must look up from our magnifying glass focused on the molehill of offense, to see the mountain of offense that is our own.

Mountains and Molehills

The slap across the face that Jesus received might as well have been by my own hand.

Even when we feel deeply wronged by a brother or sister, the fact remains that we greatly wrong God every single day; slapping His Son across the face every time we act in sin and rebellion against Him.

This is our mountain of offense.

Our looking upon this mountain is not for the purpose of punishment, guilt-tripping, or shaming us. But it is for the ultimate goal of being consumed and compelled by the cross.

As we are convinced of our great need and that ‘though our sins are many, his mercy is more,’ we realize what marvelous freedom we have in Christ; that because He died for all, we are relentlessly pursued by grace rather than justice; that God’s righteous wrath was satisfied on the cross and therefore, we are daily pardoned of great offense.

Gazing at our mountain brings us not to a place of shame and cowering, but to a place of holy reverence; rejoicing in the great reality that our multitude of sins have been exonerated. We are found blameless before God Almighty and are at perfect peace with Him, in Christ Jesus.

In the past, I’ve believed that feelings of peace and joy are what indicated I had indeed forgiven someone ‘successfully.’ The messages that we receive today leave us with the impression that when we truly forgive someone, all the hurt, confusion, and pain will immediately dissolve. We will feel nothing but peace…

Compelled to Forgive

While I do believe this can happen over time, it puts across the false message that if we have yet to experience those feelings, then we haven’t truly forgiven. We must, therefore, try harder.

However, the reality is that it is not our own strength of motivation moving us towards forgiveness. It is the love of Christ that compels us to forgive. Through Him, we are compelled to forgive.

When the love we receive from Christ (made evident by the cross) and the peace we have with God (as a result of the cross) compels us – and trust me, it will compel us when we diligently and daily focus on the cross – the molehill of offense caused by a brother or sister comes into perspective. It becomes less significant and a lot easier to release into the loving care of our Savior.

We are compelled to forgive not by our own strength or love for others, but by the staggering love of our Savior. Our Savior who died for all so we no longer live for ourselves, but for Him.

So today, as you wrestle with forgiveness, I encourage you to take a moment and consider the cross. Really contemplate its implications, its meaning, and the weight of Christ’s anguish on your behalf.

Allow your heart to be broken by Jesus’ suffering. May you be filled with a love and a peace that compels us to care for and forgive others.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27, NIV

We are compelled to forgive not by our own strength or love for others, but by the staggering love of our Savior. Our Savior who died for all so we no longer live for ourselves, but for Him. Click To Tweet

Annie Spratt

Clean, grace, mercy, messy, sin, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry, nonprofit

Surface: Allowing The Lord to Deep Clean Our Hearts

DevotionalsSeptember 8, 2019September 8, 2019

When it comes to our hearts, a surface cleaning won’t suffice; the Lord is in the business of deep cleaning in order to set us free.

The other morning, in a bit of a rush, I accidentally knocked over a big glass containing a fruit smoothie I’d just made. Thick, dark purple liquid splashed all over the counter, blanketed the stovetop, and promptly drained down into that deep, dark abyss–otherwise known as the small crack between the counter and the stove! Needing to get out the door, I hastily wiped up all of the visible mess on the surface. But I knew that upon my return, the goopy, gelatinous puddle in the abyss would require some serious deep cleaning.

The hidden, nasty mess…

Later that evening, after the kids were in bed, my husband and I settled in on the sofa to watch a movie. It was shaping up to be a nice, relaxing evening…until…dun dun dun… Cue the cheesy horror film music…reent reent reent! I remembered the hidden, nasty mess awaiting me in the kitchen.

For a moment I entertained the notion of postponing my deep cleaning job until the morning. After all, getting all that gunk out would require pulling out the stove, perhaps vacuuming, mopping, and who knew what else.

But I had a sneaking suspicion that by morning, there was a strong possibility my kitchen would reek. So, I got off the couch and got to work. I’ll spare you the dirty details, but suffice it to say, the scene I encountered underneath and behind my kitchen stove was disgusting…borderline disturbing!

To think, at least twice a day I’ve been cooking meals in that room, and all of this filth was lurking there, just below the surface! It’s a wonder my family is still alive! Ok, so perhaps now I’m overexaggerating a hair…

Downright dirty…

As I knelt down and scraped up those nasty globs of who-knows-what off of the floor, I thought about the parallel between my cleaning and the cleansing work God does in our hearts.

When it comes to our hearts, the Lord is not satisfied with a cursory surface wipe. In fact, when He does an important work in us, the process can get downright dirty. As believers, in order to truly be clean, we simply can’t stay on the surface where things feel orderly and comfortable.

Friends, we need to be willing to open up the cluttered cabinets of our minds, pull back the dusty drapes shrouding our dreams, and expose the grimy residue clogging our hearts. This means that sometimes our walk of faith requires getting down on our knees and delving into the muck and mire of deep spiritual cleaning.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Thou blind Pharisees, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.
Matthew 23:25-26

Sometimes our walk of faith requires getting down on our knees and delving into the muck and mire of deep spiritual cleaning. Click To Tweet

Surface cleaning…

But admittedly, too often, surface cleaning is the way I tend to keep my natural house and my spiritual house. I like for there to be order in my home, so I keep clutter to a minimum. I don’t leave things in places where they don’t belong, and I don’t allow messes to accumulate. But I confess that it’s not very often that I really and truly deep clean my house.

Polishing the spiritual side of this coin, we can see that it looks similar. I’d wager to say that, as believers, most of us try to keep a tidy, sanctimonious outward appearance. We attempt to maintain some kind of daily quiet time routine. Perhaps we listen to worship music in the car or post scriptures and uplifting memes on social media. Most of us regularly attend Bible study, small group, or a weekly worship service.

Scratching the surface…

But in a sense, don’t all of these religious routines constitute forms of mere maintenance cleaning? Albeit good practices to be in, taken together, these activities barely scratch the surface of the deeper spiritual walk that’s required of a true believer.

But how often do we turn our hearts and minds over to the Lord to really allow Him to scrub, and cleanse, and purify us? Scripture strongly warns against the danger and hypocrisy of this kind of surface cleaning.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For ye are like unto whited sepulchers, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness. Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.
Matthew 23:27-28

Skeletons in the closet…

Now, thankfully I didn’t find any dead men’s bones under my stove! But spiritually speaking, when I confess to the anger, hatred, and judgement, that I’ve harbored in my heart, I definitely have hosted some skeletons in my closet.

Had I never spilled my smoothie, I probably would not have thought about cleaning under and behind my stove. Meanwhile, dust, mold, and bacteria, would have continued to fester there, to the detriment of my home’s air quality and our family’s health.

Often, this is the way spiritual problems reach our radar. Maybe our “spilled smoothie” looks like an argument with a loved one where anger and harsh words spill out of our mouths–exposing deeper roots of bitterness that have taken hold inside. Or perhaps we see someone getting praise or recognition for the same kind of thing we would like to do, and thoughts of jealousy and envy rise up in our spirit.

A spiritual makeover…

Friends, I hate to say it, but all of us have an ugly, dark abyss that needs deep cleaning, and this time I’m not talking about the crack between your countertop and your stovetop. I’m referring to the shadowy recesses of our hearts where our unhealed wounds, sin, and shame reside. Those hidden places where we fear that God’s grace can’t, or won’t, reach. But the Lord sees the exact spots on our hearts that need His thorough cleaning and healing.

And no amount of outward adornment–pretty clothes, makeup, half-hearted smiles, or even well-rehearsed Bible verses–can hide our spiritual blemishes. Sisters, we must be willing to ask the Lord to do a full-on deep cleaning in our hearts. Yes, this makeover is likely to hurt our pride, expose our weaknesses, and destroy our false sense of security. But, ultimately letting go of our dirt–jealousy, shame, failure, and fear–allows us to truly be clean. To be beautiful. To be free.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24

Have you resorted to surface cleaning spiritually? Does your heart need a deep clean?

*All scripture references are from The King James Version of The Holy Bible.

Annie Spratt

Belief, casual Christianity, cheap, grace, righteousness, superficial, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Casual: Standing Firm in Righteousness as Believers

DevotionalsSeptember 2, 2019September 2, 2019

A movement of superficial Christianity has seeped into our current culture. We have all played a part in allowing this casual posture of following Christ.

For the majority of my adult life, we’ve attended churches that offered solid, Biblical preaching. However, honestly, the primary drawing card for two of those churches was the worship music. The church of my early to mid-adult life offered cutting edge praise and worship, gifted musicians and singers, all which created excitement and joy.

In later years, another church we attended boasted music leaders who wrote many of the worship songs. They recorded several CD’s. Again, theologically sound preaching, but…let’s just say that when the music died, (for various reasons,) a number of people left the fellowship.

Renounced

This summer the Christian world has learned of two more Christian stars who have publicly left the fold of faith. They haven’t had a moral lapse; each renounced his faith. One of them had written beautiful, moving worship music.

My heart is deeply saddened for them and all whose lives were shattered by their pronouncement…

Is God winnowing His flock? Has judgment begun in His house? (I Peter 4:17) I believe so.

Recently, Gary and I attended a church in another state. Being unfamiliar with the music, I initially observed the folks coming and going, for coffee or whatever. For a worship time, it was busy, yet somehow low-energy and heavy, too. I felt bad for the guy leading.

The words casual Christians flashed into my mind, and Matthew 15:8:

This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me;
Matthew 15:8, ESV

Immediately, I was convicted because what was I doing? Not praising God or praying, but gazing around at other people who were not singing! God, forgive me.

Casual

Today we like to dress casual, live casual, attend a casual church, be casual. But when I look at the definitions of casual, I’m struck by how dissonant it is with the call of Christ upon our lives…

Without definite or serious intention
Irregular or occasional
Indifferent to what is happening; apathetic
Shallow or superficial

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3, ESV

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
I John 3:16, ESV

Quite a difference – from all-about-me to considering others first.

State of the ‘Church’

Three years ago, Barna Research published a paper entitled “The State of the Church.” The ground we have lost is sobering. While 35% of Americans profess to be born-again, only 23% believe the Bible is accurate and had read it within the previous week. Additionally, a mere 7% attested to the following and were described by Barna as Evangelicals:

…their faith is very important in their life today; believing they have a personal responsibility to share their religious beliefs about Christ with non-Christians; believing that Satan exists; believing that Jesus Christ lived a sinless life on earth; asserting that the Bible is accurate in all that it teaches; believing that eternal salvation is possible only through grace, not works; and describing God as the all-knowing, all-powerful, perfect deity who created the universe and still rules it today. Being classified as an evangelical is not dependent upon church attendance or the denominational affiliation of the church attended. Respondents were not asked to describe themselves as “evangelical.”
www.barna.com/research/state-church-2016/

Casting Blame

I’ve been wondering how and when this casual mentality was translated into the Christian life. It’s easy for my generation to cast blame or aspersions on the younger generations, on the culture, but the Church is one body. Every believer has had a part in the shallow and superficial, apathetic malaise that has slowly poisoned the Body of Christ. Our attitude has no resemblance to the message of Christ.

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.
Luke 9:23, ESV

»«

And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
Matthew 10:38, ESV

Does this sound harsh to you? Foreign?

Cheap

Dietrich Bonhoeffer decried the church of his day as selling God’s grace too cheaply. Perhaps that is what we have done as well…and few are interested, anymore.

Cheap grace means grace sold on the market like cheapjacks’ wares. The sacraments, the forgiveness of sin, and the consolations of religion are thrown away at cut prices. Grace is represented as the Church’s inexhaustible treasury, from which she showers blessings with generous hands, without asking questions or fixing limits. Grace without price; grace without cost! The essence of grace, we suppose, is that the account has been paid in advance; and, because it has been paid, everything can be had for nothing. Since the cost was infinite, the possibilities of using and spending it are infinite. What would grace be if it were not cheap?…Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession, absolution without personal confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.
The Cost of Discipleship, Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Stand Firm in Righteousness

Oh precious one, let us not settle or peddle cheap grace, for it cost Jesus everything. He is the treasure hidden in the field and the pearl of great price. Who brings such joy that we are willing to sell all that we own to have Him.

Or are we?

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. ‘Make level paths for your feet,’ so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God…
Hebrews 12:11-15, NIV

May we be mighty in spirit, women of righteousness, aspiring never to sell our Lord or His costly grace for mere earthly conveniences or pleasures.

Amen.

May we be mighty in spirit, women of righteousness, aspiring never to sell our Lord or His costly grace for mere earthly conveniences or pleasures. Click To Tweet

Anger, angry, forgiveness, righteousness, oceans, grace, freedom, broken, sin, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Angry: Silencing Anger through God’s Redemptive Love

DevotionalsAugust 14, 2019August 14, 2019

Acting on our angry feelings is dangerous and invites a stronghold of sin to take root in our lives. But we can break through with God’s redemptive love.

Be angry and do not sin;
Ephesians 4:26, ESV

I’ve been desperately grasping for a reprieve from anger… grasping for peace amongst the storm of rage. Just when I think I’ve pulled it all together, something happens that creates a massive eruption of spew from my mouth.

Righteously Angry

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God.
Romans 12:19, NLT

I keep hearing about righteous anger, but I often wonder if I even have the ability to embody it. Is it possible for a human to have purely righteous anger? Are we able to knock over tables in righteousness…

Matthew 21:12-16, lays out the prime example used when we speak about Jesus’ anger. –I’ll have to be honest, there are times when I think it would be nice to tip some tables over in rage.– However, I would like to challenge our minds to think about the depth of His anger; think about how His anger differs from ours.

Jesus was perfect and blameless. Sinless. He had the ability to show care and bring restoration even in this heated moment. It grieved His heart to see the perversion that had become the Temple of the Lord, for the sake of His faithful.

But those who saw Jesus act and heard His words of conviction, praised Him. Children sang ‘Hosanna’! He overturned perversion and restored the innocent. This is not often the result of human anger.

Human Anger

I can’t account a time when acting on my anger brought about healing. In fact, I tend to lace my fury with the lie that it’s part of my healing process–Well, not if someone else has to heal because of it.

My heart aches. I can’t explain the pain and brokenness my false righteous indignation has caused. I can’t tell you how many messes I’ve had to clean up because I acted out my firey insides. Or how many times I’ve had to ask for forgiveness. Especially from my Savior.

We don’t get a pass on sinful anger just because we call it righteous. If you have to say it’s righteous, it probably isn’t. If you have to account for your actions during bouts of anger, you’ve probably been acting selfishly and, ultimately, sinfully.

Always the Ocean

A lot of life reminds me of the ocean. A lot of my relationship with God reminds me of the ocean. Always with the ocean. This time, thinking of anger… it’s captivating and extremely dangerous.

I know the curative therapy that is the sea; breathing in the salty air, diving into the warm water, letting the waves bring you back to shore. Its majesty lets you know you cannot tame it.

Oh, how small we are.

But that’s how enticing anger is. The eruptions like waves; believing in the false therapy following. Breathing in and out, in and out… Yeah, that’s not working. Diving into the heat of the moment. Its waves pulling you further from shore, with no hope of taming the rage.

Oh, how small I’ve become.

Take a Breath

Because I am still in this season, because I’m not on the other side of this lesson, I feel I should share what God is speaking. In trying to derive advice from The Ultimate Authority, a series of questions ran through my mind. I believe these will allow us to take a breath, evaluate our anger, and have to repent of sin less often.

Am I angry at what makes God angry… did this make filthy, what God made pure?

Am I being honest about my anger? Do I need to repent of these actions?

Do I have the ability to be angry and love at the same time? Is my anger meant to restore or tear apart?

Am I allowing the Holy Spirit to control my anger or am I harming those around me?

Freedom from Anger

Yes, these questions may help bring rational thought to a fueled moment, but how do we feel anger and not sin? How do we handle seasons of anger and break free from its bondage? As I said, I’m still in the thick of it, but these are my daily practices and convictions…

Self-control: Proverbs 16:32

Face to the floor prayer.

Take every thought captive: 2 Corinthians 10:5

Fasting.

Give NO opportunity to the devil: Ephesians 4:27

Biblical meditation.

Do good: Romans 12:19-21

Love God and keep His commands: John 14:15

God’s Peace

In these moments of helplessness, moments where rage takes over, I am reminded of how much I need the redemptive power of my Father. How much I need the freedom given through His blood.

Through His blood, we can repent of our unrighteous, sinful anger. We can be made whole, we can heal through His grace, not our rage.

His grace silences our haughty words. Silences our temper. It covers us and gives us the ability to approach His throne with the things that have broken our hearts. It allows God to speak:

That ocean you love so dearly, its majesty, its nature, its constant rhythm is my love for you. I am the ocean, unwavering, unstoppable, overwhelming, raging. The battle between the ocean and the shore, that’s my battle for you. For your freedom. That peace you feel, that’s my gift to you. No longer will you be a slave to this crashing bitterness. You are delivered. You are redeemed.

Through His blood, we can repent of our unrighteous, sinful anger. We can be made whole, we can heal through His grace, not our rage. Click To Tweet

Ruslan Valeev

wealth, value, salvation, love, grace, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Rich: Living As New Creations in Christ and Heirs to His Kingdom

DevotionalsJuly 17, 2019July 11, 2019

We are new. We are in Christ. This means we are heirs to the Kingdom. Rich beyond measure. How then can we continue to dwell on the empty wealth of this world?

Joy or Cash?

Money. Yikes. Man’s best friend and the root of all evil. As someone who loves stuff, I find money to be quite convenient to have. Besides, in a world where everything costs an arm and a leg, why not rack up on cash? As I begin to learn the ways of the world (and money), I’ve definitely fallen to the stigma of “more is better” and most of the time don’t even realize it.

Why is it that we’ve been given everything we need, even a lot of what we need, yet we’re constantly looking for more stuff and more things? At the root of it, at least for me, personally, it’s that I am discontent with what the Lord has given me. I think I know what’s best, therefore, I strive for it; all my energy wasted.

Daughters of the King

When you think about it, we’re all richer than we could imagine. Heirs to the biggest kingdom there ever was and ever will be. We need not ask for anything because we have already received eternal wealth.

But let me ask you this, as daughters of the one true King, what has God given us and what makes it so much better than anything earth could offer us? My darling we can’t even imagine…

And God will open wide the gates of heaven for you to enter into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
2 Peter 1:11, TLB

Rich in Christ

In heaven, we receive love. Not circumstantial love that can only live off of what we do for it, but true, unconditional love greater than we could imagine.

In heaven, we receive peace. Not the peace we find when we lay in our bed after a long day, not a peace we have to work for. But a peace for the soul. No more restlessness, no more tossing and turning. I honestly can’t imagine that peace, but I am sure as heck willing to give everything I have to be with the One who gives it.

How do I do that though? How are we supposed to be poor in spirit so that we can be rich in Christ? And how do we non-reluctantly give up every single thing we have and know and pursue Christ? What does that even look like?

Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?
James 2:5, ESV

New

Many of us have heard 2nd Corinthians 5:17. We are told that in Christ, we are new creations. While reading over this, I thought in the context of my questions… new creation can be taken literally. New. Not what we were. Not what I was. This means there must be a change. A change so vast that the word new can be applied to us.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17, ESV

When I look at my life since I’ve given it to Christ I honestly don’t look a whole lot different. I still find myself caught up in a lot of what I used to do. For me, I believe living for Christ will start by no longer living for myself. I can’t continue living the way I was. I am new in Him; rich in Him. I know this, but what am I doing to change it?

My encouragement to you is to find what you’ve been holding on to, or what it is you refuse to change. God I pray, please help me rid me of myself. Help me live for you and not the world.

Our wealth lies in God's overwhelming generosity. Through Him, we gain immeasurable grace and love. Above all, we gain the precious gift of salvation. Click To Tweet

Vanesa Papučíková

weakness, weak, strength, empty, grace, emptiness, enough, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Weak: When We are Empty, God’s Strength is Enough

DevotionalsJune 23, 2019June 23, 2019

When we feel weak, Christ is the strength we need to serve out of our emptiness. He is enough especially because we are not.

Perception

I love giving feedback especially when it is good. Recently, a few of us threw a wedding shower and it was so beautiful. The decorations were lovely, the games were a ton of fun, and the atmosphere was relaxing and cozy.

I texted both of the girls I had worked with and told them what a fabulous job they had done. One of them quickly replied that she was sorry for the mess her house had been in when we got there. That she truly felt like her efforts were just being drug out of an empty well with a too full season. But, she was wrong.

Am I Weak?

What does living out of emptiness look like? I mean, let’s be honest, none of us is really looking for that kind of serving. We would rather be serving out of plenty, fullness, more than enough.

I am often drawn to the stories in scripture of the widow’s mite or the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her hair. These women used what they had and it was lavish. Jesus does not say that the mite wasn’t enough because the offering was small. He knew that is all she had and it mattered to him.

Empty

I had a similar experience…

I spend a lot of my day thinking and praying for people. It really is a gift and I don’t take it for granted. I was driving by a friend’s business and was prompted to pray and text her. Weeks later, I heard the rest of the story.

It was a difficult day. A difficult hour. It was right on time to point my friend to Jesus. Now, let me set you straight right now. I am not special. In fact, if my friend had not shared this with me, I would have kept on feeling pretty useless.

Right now, I could not be more depleted, more emotionally empty. I really don’t have much…

He is Enough

But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10, NLT

But, Christ does not expect me to work out of my own strength. Am I the only one who feels that way? I think I have to have all the answers and all the ability. I’m pretty sure the Gospel verifies that I do not have any answers for myself.

He Knows Me

I gently texted my friend back a reminder: When we think things are falling out of our control, that is when we can serve in our own emptiness. We can know that He fills us and uses us through His own strength.

I, myself, need this reminder.

I am so tempted to believe that God wanted me because I was worthy or useful. When the opposite is true. He loved me when I was an enemy. And He loves me now when I think I need to have it all together. His desire is for me to rely on His strength because He knows I am weak. He knew that then, He knows it now, and His opinion is still one of grace and love. That is who He is and for that I am grateful.

God desires us to rely on His strength in our weakness. He knows we can't and don't have it all together but His opinion is still of grace and love. Click To Tweet

Annie Spratt

apology, forgiveness, grace, pain, freedom, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Apology: Asking for Forgiveness is Difficult but Freeing

DevotionalsJune 10, 2019June 11, 2019

Admitting we have hurt someone and asking for forgiveness can be difficult. A genuine apology shows obedience to God and frees us from sin and pain.

Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32, NET

Polarizing Tactics

For the first twenty-five years of our marriage, Gary and I seldom argued. That isn’t to say that we didn’t disagree, didn’t hurt each other’s feelings, or give each other the silent treatment; I’m simply saying we seldom argued.

Neither of us came from homes where disagreements were handled in a healthy way- his dad went to the basement; mine hid behind the newspaper. Therefore, neither of us were equipped to manage conflict well… so, we didn’t. We went to our separate corners and waited for the storm to pass. Or, perhaps more realistically, I waited for him to apologize and he waited for the storm to pass!

What it took me many years to learn was that his family, (and men in general,) didn’t learn to express regret when they were wrong or wronged someone else. Apologizing, admitting mistakes seems to be a learned trait for about half of the population. Yet, I felt like I was saying, “I’m sorry,” for everything, sometimes even my existence! But that was my own issue, not Gary’s.

Deteriorating Foundation

One of the many problems with this scenario in a marriage or friendship is that the tiny papercuts and the buildup of infractions can become a gaping, bleeding wound which eats at the foundation of the relationship. Then someday, an incident that is seemingly a 4 on a scale of 1 to 10, becomes an immediate 10, and your spouse or close friend, doesn’t know what hit him, (or her, as the case may be).

That was our cycle. Build-up, build-up, build-up, BOOM. My anger would explode at something Gary had done or not done. He would remain quiet, calm, and in control, while I ranted; then I felt shame because I would be reminded of how my mom reacted toward my dad, (and I promised myself that I would never be like her, of course).

Each time this happened, my heart closed a bit more toward my husband, like the bloom of a flower closing against the night. (Now granted, I wasn’t exactly the Proverbs 31 wife with a gentle, quiet spirit. Our five years of marriage counseling was for both of us!)

One-Liner Apology

During our marriage counseling, Gary began learning the importance of saying he was sorry when he had hurt me. However, for many years it continued to feel disingenuous and rehearsed to me, probably because he usually followed up with, “but I didn’t know” -or- “but I didn’t mean to,” which left me feeling hollow.

Ted Cunningham wrote for Focus on the Family about ways not to apologize. These are some famous one-liner apologies that should never be used! (Do they sound familiar?)

“I’m sorry you feel that way” is another way of saying, “You shouldn’t feel that way.” It’s one of the world’s worst apologies.
“If I offended you, I’m sorry” is another way of saying, “You shouldn’t have been offended by that” or “You’re too sensitive.”
“I’m sorry you took it that way” is another way of saying, “That’s not what I intended.” What your spouse hears is more important than what you say.
“I’m sorry I said it that way” is another way of saying, “What I said was right, I just said it in the wrong way” or “What I told you was truth and you needed to hear it, but maybe my tone wasn’t right.”
www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/communication

Apology

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, has also written that there are five languages of apology. He believes that this is the reason why so many marriages stutter at the apology and don’t travel forward to much-needed forgiveness.

Expressing regret – This is the emotional aspect of an apology. People who speak this language believe it is important to acknowledge that you offended them and to express your own sense of guilt, shame and pain that your behavior has hurt them deeply. Actually being able to say “I am sorry” is very important to a person who speaks this language.
Accepting responsibility – In this instance, an apology means accepting responsibility for one’s actions and being willing to say “I was wrong.” This is often very difficult because admitting you are wrong can be perceived as weakness.
Making restitution – For an apology to be genuine, it isn’t just about saying “I am sorry.” Instead, it’s all about making things right for a person who speaks this language. They want acknowledgment of the wrongdoing and they want to know what you are going to do to make it right.
Genuinely repenting – The word repentance means “to turn around” or to change one’s mind. If a person speaks this language of apology they are expecting that you not only apologize but that you will seek not to repeat the offense again in the future.
Requesting forgiveness – A person who speaks this language believes that an apology not only includes “I am sorry,” but also a request for forgiveness. Requesting forgiveness indicates to some that you want to see the relationship fully restored.
www.firstthings.org

Biblical Forgiveness

While I have great respect for Dr. Chapman, my guiding principle is always the Word of God. It speaks clearly about forgiveness. Jesus delineates the need to take all the steps which Dr. Chapman has laid out, not one that we choose to be our personal language.

Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.
Luke 17:3, NET

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“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
Matthew 6:14, NET

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Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if someone happens to have a complaint against anyone else. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also forgive others.
Colossians 3:12-13, NET

Abundant Grace

And there it is, the inarguable point; how can we contend with this? The Lord’s forgiveness has been abundant, vast…how can we withhold grace and the mercy of forgiveness from one who has offended or wounded us? I had to learn…am still learning…to forgive half-hearted – or no – apologies. My brother was one who never asked forgiveness for the pain he inflicted.

And there are unfathomable wounds some of you have endured, aching wounds for which no one has borne responsibility or asked forgiveness.

But God…

He knows your pain and He covers it with His balm of healing grace.

Forgive them, so that you may go free.

The Lord’s forgiveness has been abundant, vast…how can we withhold grace and the mercy of forgiveness from one who has offended or wounded us? Click To Tweet

Dallas Reedy

fear, grace, trust, unafraid, surrender, control, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Unafraid: Trusting God to Take Control of Our Lives

DevotionalsMay 15, 2019May 15, 2019

Fear is crippling. We must surrender the reins of control to God. In order to live a trusting and unafraid life, we must accept His grace and mercy, daily.

Trust. Five letters. One simple concept. We utilize it on a daily basis…

We trust that our alarm clock will go off in the morning and wake us up. Trust that our coffee maker will brew the liquid gold that is such a necessity to many of us. We trust that our car will start. Hopefully!

With significantly more certainty, we trust that gravity will continue to keep us pinned to the earth. We trust that the Earth will continue its orbit around the Sun. On smaller scales, we trust for personal, daily needs. On a grand scale, we trust our needs to be continuously supported on this planet we call home.

So, if we so easily trust these small things for our continued existence, why do we find it so hard to trust the One? The One who allows for, and is in control of, all the aforementioned things and more, to happen?

Control

The reason is fear! Four letters. One powerful concept. It has the ability to make us fight, flee, or even freeze in our tracks. Fear is “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined.” The key words in this definition are real or imagined.

Fear stems from a lack of control. The more we feel out of control, the more we are afraid, and the more we are afraid, the more we try and take matters into our own hands. In short, the more out of control we feel the more we try and control our life situations and the less we trust.

Let me tell you a secret…

Come close.

Closer.

Right there…

Control is an illusion.

Trust is Peace

We have no control. We think we do because it keeps the fear at bay, but we really have precious little control over our circumstances. This is a lesson the Lord has been trying to teach me over the last five years. But here is another secret, the less I try to control my circumstances, and the more I trust God to take care of me, the more peace I feel.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7, NIV

Fear is easy. Being afraid comes naturally. We fight to keep something from happening or to keep someone or something safe. Or we freeze, unable to do anything. The wonderful thing is we don’t have to fight. The fight has already happened and God is the victor. Because we are His, we have nothing to run from, but Someone wonderful to run to.

‘Fear Not’

Staying unafraid is hard. It is an active choice we have to make almost every minute of every day. The phrase “fear not” is mentioned 365 times in the Bible.

He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Deuteronomy 31:8, NIV

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Don’t fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine.
Isaiah 43:1, NIV

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When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
Psalm 56:3, NIV

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Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psalm 23:4, NIV

To name a few and store in our memory banks.

Human Nature

God knew fear would be our natural fallen state. He knew we would need a daily reminder of our victory through Him. Even from the moment Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden and were afraid to approach Him, God knew. They had an intimate relationship with Him. They knew who He was and how He felt about them, yet they were afraid and ashamed of their sin. But, they couldn’t bring themselves to look at God.

The fall of Adam and Eve in Eden is the first instance of humans trying to take control. They were the first to feel shame, guilt, and the weight of fearful baggage. It is the first time humans tried to fight for themselves…

We have someone to fight for us. We have nothing to fear. In the absence of fear, there is trust. Psalm 20:7 says: “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.” When we have nothing and no one to fear, trust comes easier.

The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1, NIV

I am reminded of the words in Chris Tomlin’s song Whom Shall I Fear, “I know who goes before me. I know who stands behind. The God of Angel Armies is always by my side.” Romans 8:31 says: “More Than Conquerors. What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” The Bible and worship songs are filled with reminders of the victory we have through Jesus.

Unafraid

Like being unafraid, trust is hard. We, unfortunately, mix our sinful human emotions and experiences with who God is. We mix our hurt and lack of trust with who God is. He has never let us down. He is not the boyfriend, fiancé, or husband who cheats and abandons. God is not the best friend who betrays trust or backstabs. He is not the mother or father who abandoned a helpless child. He is not the source of anyone’s pain, He is the healer.

We all have these experiences and hurts…baggage if you will…that we carry around with us. He not only wants to carry our baggage but dispose of it so we don’t have to carry it anymore.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 55:22, NIV

Trust and being unafraid are active, daily choices. To live a fearless life and to fully trust God, we must allow God to heal us and take the reins of our life.

I am so thankful that the Lord is patient and offers daily renewed grace and mercy.

Grace. Mercy. Two words. Five letters each. Concepts that are life-changing.

Like being unafraid, trust is hard. We mix our sinful human emotions and experiences with who God is. We mix our hurt and lack of trust with who God is. He has never let us down! Click To Tweet

At the age of 12, Rachel was called into ministry and dedicated her life to the Lord’s will. This led her to teach and work at a school in Korea for four years after college. Through the Lord’s help, Rachel has grown because of these experiences. She’s learned to solely rely on God and trust His provision for everything.

boundaries, comfort, sufficient, grace, strength, peace, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Sufficiency: Finding Comfort in the Promises of God

DevotionalsApril 17, 2019April 17, 2019

The messages of the world can leave us feeling empty. We must seek our comfort in the promises of God and trust in His sufficiency.

If you subscribe to the concept of love languages, it would take you five minutes with my son to recognize that his love language is clearly physical touch. In a world where snuggling was an Olympic sport, he would earn gold medals. He could beg to be tickled all day, every day and never stop asking for more. He likes to be right next to you at all times so that if he wants to reach out and touch for even a second, he can. My sweet boy expresses himself through touch, communicating both his love and his anger with his hands and feet.

Understanding Boundaries

We live in a physical world where contact is necessary. However, we draw boundaries around this necessity to keep ourselves and others safe from something as little as awkwardness, to something as big as victimization. Because of these boundaries, my son’s world is constantly telling him that his desire to connect with others and have them connect with him is not okay. He hears the same messages on a loop:

That’s inappropriate.
Too rough.
I’m not available right now.
Keep your hands to yourself.

One night, after carefully explaining appropriate touching to him, he fell apart in my arms and sobbed. “Mommy,” he cried, “I try. So. Hard. But I like people and I want to touch them, but I always get in trouble because it’s just so hard to remember.”

I hugged him tightly and reassured him that I knew he was trying. Recognizing that it was a challenge for him, I let him know the fact he loves people is a good thing. My heart broke for him because I know it is difficult to feel loved when you feel like you are always in trouble. It is especially difficult when you are always in trouble for something that is such a large part of who you are, intrinsically. You can feel wholly insufficient.

Seeking Comfort

It is hard. God created us in a physical world in order to be in relationship with others. At the same time, we are sinners and have to be in relationship with other sinners. This makes for messy relationships and confusing boundaries. And there are times where we feel discontent with our earthly relationships. This discontentment is meant to be healed by finding our comfort, rest, and satisfaction in the arms of Christ.

And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

Isaiah 58:11, ESV

I think that many of us know this and have moments where we can truly feel it. But resting in the Lord doesn’t have the immediate, recognizable comfort that the embrace of a loved one has for us. His words, also, are harder to hear than those of others in our lives. Especially when we are distracted by the world and its demands.

This reminds me of the Israelites as they waited for Moses. They became fearful and distracted by their circumstances. Since they were not seeing the blessings and protections of the Father in that moment, they created an idol to worship in His stead. They were unable to trust in His sufficiency when they thought He might be absent. While we may not be forging gold into a golden calf in our daily lives, we can make physical contact with others an idol. We can easily take His sufficiency for granted.

Flipping the Script

I have to figure out how to present this to a five-year-old. It’s difficult enough for me to understand and seems like an insurmountable obstacle to apply it when it is needed the most. The best solution for me right now is to teach my boy the scriptures he can turn to. It is so important for him to look for solutions in the Word. I must help him hide those words in his heart so that he can turn the messages from his physical world into messages from God, rooted in Truth.

It’s inappropriate to touch someone that way just because you like them, but God’s grace is sufficient for you.
That’s too rough. Remember that you are shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace.
I am not available for you right now, but the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Hands to yourself. Instead, pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling.
I know it is So. Hard. But you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

Maybe, while teaching my son, I will learn this as well.

While we may not be forging gold into a golden calf in our daily lives, we can make physical contact with others an idol. We can easily take His sufficiency for granted. Click To Tweet

Bryan Minear

Sin, sexual sin, grace, desires, holiness, temptation, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Run: Fleeing from Anything that Stimulates Youthful Lusts

DevotionalsApril 3, 2019April 3, 2019

Sin can be sneaky. Especially in our minds. We must run, flee from anything that tempts us into allowing sexual sin power.

As women, we have been really sneaky about making men feel alone in their struggle against sexual sin. I don’t know how it happened, but it seems that men are just assumed to struggle with what they think and watch, but women are given a pass. This attitude has even permeated the Christian world. I’m often shocked by what friends have confessed they watch or read. They imply they’re doing it “for the story,” and lust isn’t something they struggle with.

If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work. Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.

2 Timothy 2:21-22, NLT

I have written before how once we are made aware of something, we tend to see that certain thing everywhere. I am especially sensitive to sexual sin because it’s one I have struggled with a lot in my mind. Sister, I’ve struggled to the point it affected my marriage. Please know my concern in addressing this topic comes from no place of judgment- I have no room to judge. It’s because of my struggle with sexual sin that I want to warn you and ask you to run! Flee!

Temptation

Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.

James 1:14, NLT

There are so many reasons we are tempted into sin, but they always come back to us. We want to do what we want to do. So we justify. “I watch Game of Thrones for the story. I read romance novels to pass the time. I listen to secular music about sex and the secular culture because I need to stay relevant with my kids.” The problem with watching, reading, and listening to what the world is, is that all too soon, we begin to resemble the world and not Christ.

What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting. So if your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one hand or one foot than to be thrown into eternal fire with both of your hands and feet. And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.

Matthew 18:7-9, NLT

Amazing Grace

These verses are all red letters in the Bible, meaning they are straight from Jesus’ teachings. Make no mistake, Sisters, God does not think sin is funny or okay. We preach a gospel of grace. Praise God for His grace and mercy! None of us can enter into His presence without it. All of us are wretched sinners; I often feel like no sooner do I have victory in one area of my life, another surfaces that’s just as serious. My point is that we must not take advantage of this amazing grace. Repentance means hating our sin enough to turn away from it!

As I write this today, I can be honest and say this area is not completely conquered in my life…perhaps it never will be. However, the more I’m in the Word, the more I pray, the more I fill my mind with Godly music and clean TV shows, the less and less I struggle. The junk I allowed myself to look at and think about, becomes more and more distant in my mind and memory.

Run to God

The key to our struggle against sin isn’t to do it alone and in secret, but to run to our Savior for a way out! I’ve begged Him for a way and the phone has rung, or the baby woke up or my kids came inside for a snack…that is the way out, friends! Stop that thought, take it captive and hand it to God. Get busy serving your family until you are able to think clearly. We must have a practical plan to deal with our struggles, or we are absolutely planning to fail.

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

1 Corinthians 10:13, NLT

Holiness

We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5, NLT

The Bible makes no joke about our walk with Christ: it’s a battle, a war, a difficult thing that will absolutely make us realize our need for Jesus and His sacrifice. We cannot save ourselves-everything in our hearts is bent toward evil. Praise the Lord for His Word to guide us, His Holy Spirit to teach us, and His body of believers to help keep us accountable on this journey called life.

If you struggle with sin-your thought life in particular-I urge you to find a Godly mentor you can trust. An older woman in the faith who won’t berate and judge you, but love you and help you! Holiness is a daily decision but also a lifelong destination.

God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor-not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, NLT

The key to our struggle against sin isn't to do it alone, but to run to our Savior for a way out! Praise the Lord for His Word to guide us, His Holy Spirit to teach us, and His body of believers to help keep us accountable. Click To Tweet

eberhard grossgasteiger