To measure our own worth against that of our fellow humans, can be extremely toxic to our hearts. Recognizing the flaws of comparison can be difficult, but vital to the survival of our faith in God.
In our recent video we touched a bit on a collective feeling of comparison riddling our minds. This has hit my heart and I feel like I need to work through this (I feel like we all need to work through this). So, let’s do it together. Let’s recognize the flaws of comparison with the truth of God, in order to overcome the trap.
Measure: Less Than
Comparison has been a personal struggle, probably my whole life. There’s always someone better, someone prettier, someone smarter. In every stage of life, there’s always someone to compare yourself to. As a young girl, as a teen, as a young adult, as a mother, a wife. The list gets longer.
Recently, I shared my daily battle is to overcome negativity. Most specifically, negative thoughts of myself. I compare how I look, the way I parent, how clean my house is, my writing style, how I speak. Deeper yet, I compare my heart, my mission, my past, my present, my future (that’s ridiculous).
All of these comparisons are relative though, aren’t they? They depend on the opinions of the one comparing. So, one could say, I have a poor opinion of myself. I lack confidence. Everyone else is better. A cheap attitude of oneself, slaps God in the face and mocks His precious creation.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:14, NIV
Measure: Greater Than
Oppositely, comparison is not exclusive to a low position. It can trap us from a lofty attitude as well.
“At least my sin isn’t as bad.”
“I’m glad I learned to overcome that issue.”
I know I have ventured to this type of place in my heart. Comparing myself to another believer leads to self-justification. I rationalize my own mess because it’s not “as messy” compared. Measuring our sin against that of another believer (or non-believer), opens the door for animosity. Then on to disdain. How dare we take on the role of God in judging the hearts of our brothers and sisters.
And He has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers.
1 John 4:21, NLT
Not one of us is greater than any other. We are just different; with different struggles. All have been affected differently based on our unique environments. We are all growing in different ways, learning different lessons. We are all commissioned different ministries for the advancement of the kingdom of God.
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17, NIV
All believers have been accepted into the family. Thus, our common denominator is God and His gift of salvation. That is all that matters. We are all unique and help strengthen each other. Hiding this truth in our hearts, exposes the lies of comparison.
Measure: Equal To
“Well, I’m just as good as…”
This thought is also an extremely dangerous comparison. Our only evaluation should be against the commands and teachings of our Father.
Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you…
2 Corinthians 13:5, NIV
Ultimately, we will never ascend to the greatness of God. We can never live perfect lives. Only Jesus Christ holds this status. Our intention is key. Are we recognizing how flawed it is to measure up to another human?
Measure: The Final Sum
It is human nature to constantly evaluate ourselves against others. However, God calls us to more. He calls us to be not of this world. It is impossible to truly compare ourselves to another human being, because we are all sinful. We are all flawed.
To measure ourselves against another, is to lack all faith in the will of our Father. He does unique work in each of us, and purposes us in accordance with His plan.
Need help overcoming comparison? Consider reading the entirety of 2 Corinthians, chapter 10.
If you have found this inspiring, share the encouragement…
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We are God’s work, and we need only to glorify our Creator for the work He has done.
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I too have struggled with comparison in all the various ways you mentioned. SO much stemmed from insecurity. As I grow in my relationship with the Lord it seems to lessen. Keeping my eyes on Him is the key. Thank you for reminding me of the very important lesson.
Absolutely! I write to remind myself of lessons I need to work on! You are right, keeping my eyes on my Savior ensures my eyes aren’t on anyone else. <3
I try to help people be who God created them to be. I have learned to accept myself for who God made me.
This is our (my) mission too! Be who you were created to be in Christ Jesus, by replacing comparison lies with the Truth of God! It’s good to have fellow brother’s and sister’s with the same mission!
I was just having this conversation with a few girls last night. It’s amazing how we compare ourselves to nearly every person and situation we run into! And all this comparison makes it hard to believe that God sees us as perfect children through the blood of Jesus. But the more we seek to glorify God, the more we’ll desire to help others grow closer to Him instead of comparing ourselves.
Exactly, Emily! We are made new through the blood of Jesus! We should ONLY strive to measure up to Jesus, so that we can encourage others through the testament of His goodness!
This has been a difficult topic all my life. My brother and my mom were quick to share their thoughts and comparisons about me and my friends when I was growing up. I continued this process for a long time. Still now when I’m starting something new or different (blogging recently) I find myself still struggling with comparisons. It’s definitely an area for me to continue to seek God about!
I completely understand, Melissa. I have had similar experiences with family. It’s an incredibly hard habit/mindset to break. You hit the point, seek God. When our thoughts say on our Lord, there’s no room for other opinions. <3
I fall into the comparison trap often. I’ve always felt like I had to prove my worth, so I think it’s easy for me to compare. Thank you for your insight and truths about what the Bible says.
Thank you, Julie! I can understand how not feeling much worth in yourself, could open the door for comparison. The fact is, our worth is measured by God. (I know you know this) It’s hard for us to grasp this, but it is one of the main ways to overcome comparison! <3
Many parents unwittingly compare their children to each other, causing a lifetime of rivalry and bitterness. I love how you looked at both sides of the issue. Unfortunately I think it is something we learn at our parents knee.
I can relate to this, Alice. It wasn’t that I was compared to my siblings, but I was compared to what they knew. But, I am (all my siblings are) unique and differences/uniqueness should be parented as such. Recognizing your child’s personality and make-up, is important in fostering confidence in this world and spiritually. Thank you for your insight on this!
Loving this post – it’s right on! You made some amazing points. I identify so much with the “low self esteem” area you addressed. I thought you were only going to focus on this but then you jumped to your next point and I agree!!! You are absolutely right that there are people who compare and judge from a superior placement and from “same as”. I love this reminder: “To measure ourselves against another, is to lack all faith in the will of our Father. He does unique work in each of us, and purposes us in accordance with His plan.” Awesome post.
Thank you Sasha! I really wanted to focus on all the possibilities with comparison. Some don’t believe they have a comparison issue, but it can look like more than just low self-esteem. It’s our lot as humans, to constantly measure our worth. But, we are not to be called of this world. Our confidence and faith rely on the truth that God has already overcome the world, and if He dwells in us, we have/can overcome too! <3
Oh the comparison trap is a hard one. I try, and sometimes fail, to only compare myself to myself and God’s plan for me. I’ve learned a lot by just evaluating myself and where God wants me to be.
It’s definitely hard to only compare ourselves to the example Jesus left behind for us to follow! I hope you feel encouraged, Kristi! <3