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Compassion: Portraying Tenderness through Actions, Not Just Words

DevotionalsJanuary 20, 2019January 20, 2019

Compassion is more than a feeling, it’s an action. We must live this two-fold mission, to truly love those around us. To truly portray the love of Christ.

Sharing my testimony is a tool I use to help others feel comfortable with me. I tell the nitty-gritty of my past so that others know I am not sitting on a lofty pillar. There’s nothing they can tell me that will make me run away.

It’s easy for me to talk about the past. It has come and gone. I can share the lessons I’ve learned and the way God moved. But the right now is way more difficult. It can feel too raw, too vulnerable, too real to talk about current circumstances…

Compassion in Action

But I did just that. I couldn’t take it any longer. I found my safe friend, stumbled around small talk, then let it flow. My heart knew I could trust her. We’d already been through so much in such a short time. She could see through the tears, the pain, the anger, the vulnerability. She listened, cried, felt my pain, and loved me.

Her love was action. She jumped head first into How can I help my friend mode. Secretly texting her husband… We need to help Katie. And they did. My friend felt my need, saw where she could help, and helped. Compassion in action…

Prove It

Compassion. This word can be thrown around willy-nilly, without a mind for God’s (Biblical) definition. The world tells us it’s a tender feeling toward someone suffering. There’s often a strong desire to lessen the pain. And while this is definitely true, we know love is more than just a strong desire. Love is an action.

Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

1 John 3:18, NLT

Compassion doesn’t just boil down to a posture of the heart. It is also a posture of our hands. I mean this figuratively and literally. It’s two-fold, noun and verb. In my real life example, my friend’s heart felt the same pain as mine. But her hands, arms, and mouth provided comfort in my suffering, alleviating a small amount of my pain.

Bottomless Compassion

Imagine for a second, if my example had a different narrative. What if my friend had judged or rejected me? What if she threw condemnation in my face instead of reminding me of my redemption in Christ? Have you ever received reproach? Have you ever given it?

I think we are all guilty of this, but pure compassion overpowers judgment. Because we have all received bottomless grace upon grace through our Beautiful Redeemer (John 1:16), we can love others where they are. We can say I hear you, I see you, I feel for your situation. This gives us the ability to cultivate trust and share truth. To share the sincere love of Christ.

If anyone boasts, “I love God,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both.

1 John 4:20-21, MSG

Holy Spirit Lead

Genuine compassion is the result of our lives being poured out and replaced with the sympathies of God. Our devotion to Him allows us to be a conduit for His love. When we step outside our human nature (self-minded), the Holy Spirit has room to occupy our words, our hearts, our actions.

Let’s not just speak words of tenderness, let’s jump into action to help those who are broken, worn down, or suffering. It doesn’t always have to be a massive undertaking… a hug, a served dinner, $5, free childcare… Every effort made through compassion honors our Gracious Father.

Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.

1 Peter 3:8, NLT

Have you surrendered to God’s heart? Has the Holy Spirit prompted you towards a posture of empathy and kindness?

Let's not just speak words of tenderness, let's jump into action to help those who are broken, worn down, or suffering. Every effort made through compassion honors our Gracious Father. Click To Tweet

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Resolution: Reflecting on God’s Lessons and Moving Forward

Devotionals, Stay SaneJanuary 7, 2019January 13, 2019

Reflecting on the year gone by can help us move toward the future God has planned for us. Our resolution should be to testify of God’s goodness and great love.

A little over a year ago I wrote my first devotional “Love Letters: Expressing Our Desire and Commitment to God”. As I reflect on my year of writing devotionals for Oh Lord Help Us, I am reminded that love is what brought me here. My love of God, my love of writing, and my love for a friend.

Reflecting on God’s Lessons

As a teacher, I encourage my students to always consider what they have learned. In reflecting on my year, I am asking myself to do the same. I see the ebb and flow of my emotions, what is important, and a voice cracking through to be heard. Being vulnerable and allowing others to see inside has been scary, intimidating, and oh so rewarding.

God has shown me that fear is just the devil’s way of sidetracking His work through me. Fear is a human emotion that everyone feels, but trusting in God is the divine intervention that makes it possible to get to the other side of the fear.

Be strong and courageous! Do not fear of tremble before them, for the Lord your God is the one who is going with you. He will not fail you or abandon you!

Deuteronomy 31:6, NET

Every time I wrote an article I waited for some pithy comment, some sharp retort about what I had written, or criticism about my words. I got some, well-deserved critiques from friends and family. All given in the spirit of love and understanding. It took me a beat or two.

My knee-jerk reaction was anger and frustration. Luckily, God has taught me to breathe through it, listen with a spirit of willingness, and adjust as needed. Sometimes I needed to choose different words, sometimes I needed to give further explanations and sometimes I needed to stick to my guns and say what I said.

Being vulnerable can be scary. Fear is just the devil's way of sidetracking God's work through us. Trusting in God is the divine intervention that makes it possible to get to the other side of the fear. Click To Tweet

Where God Leads

I have also learned to listen to God’s soft whisper. As Mark Batterson says in his book Whisper, “What we’ve learned from Scripture is that He often speaks in a whisper. Not to make it difficult to hear Him, but to draw us close.” Sometimes I would rather be punched in the face with His message so I don’t have to stop my life or wait. But this year I have learned to listen more intently, look for the patterns in God’s path for me, and slow down. Okay, so that last one I’m working on.

As I write down my prayers to God, I can see His hand at work in my life. I can testify to His power to move in small ways. When you see small miracles over and over, month after month, week after week, even day after day – you can’t deny the power and overwhelming love of our Father.

For it is impossible in the case of those who have once been enlightened, tasted the heavenly gift, become partakers of the Holy Spirit, tasted the good word of God and the miracles of the coming age,

Hebrews 6:4-5, NET

Some days my prayers are full of gratitude and joy. Other days they are cries for help. I have begged for healing for friends and family members. I have sobbed out, as evidence from tear stained pages, for help when my children were hurting. Sometimes God sent abundant blessings and other times He carried me to the next day. He answers “yes” and He answers “no”. And sometimes He answers, “wait”. That is by far the hardest to hear.

Resolution

Once my students analyze their work and decide what it is they learned, I ask them to make a new goal. Something that pushes them to grow. So now it’s my turn. My husband laughingly asked me to write him more love letters when I shared it was time to write my next devotion.

He was being cute, but it kind of hit me when I read my first post from last year, it has been years since I wrote him a really sweet, gooey, love letter. It’s also something I feel very uncomfortable with, sharing my feelings about others. Over and over I have told you I want to be a reflection of God’s light. I’ve been trying to share my love of God more, but now I need to share the love in my heart that God has put there. I can’t horde it or feel it but not mention it. The words “I love you!” said with sincerity are super important. So my New Year’s Resolution is to say them more often.

What I am commanding you today is to love the Lord your God, to walk in his ways, and to obey his commandments, his statutes, and his ordinances. Then you will live and become numerous and the Lord your God will bless you in the land which you are about to possess.

Deuteronomy 30:16, NET

Thank You

Dear reader, I love you! I love how supportive you have been of me on my writing journey. How you have cheered me on. I am so grateful for the stories you have shared of your own life and walk with God.

Oh Lord Help Us has been one of the greatest blessings to me. Katie and Rachael, as well as the rest of the writing staff, have been amazing. Their posts are rooted in God’s word. Our Father has been faithful through them in holding me through the bad days and celebrating with me through the joyful times.

May the New Year bring you freedom from fear, joy in abundance, and love that knows no bounds. God offers all that and so much more. I am so thankful and wait with an expectant heart for my Savior’s next plan in my life.

Dear God,

Thank You for all the wonder that You have shared with me this year. I see so clearly Your hand in my life. Sharing the testimony of this life you have blessed me with has not been easy, but so fulfilling. I cried out to you for peace and happiness. You have carried me through to the other side of my fear.

Help me to be more patient and wait for You. Be a constant reminder to me to reflect Your love. Not just in deeds but in true words. Help the words “I love you!” come easily and joyfully from my lips. Let those who hear them know that they come from You.

love,

Annie Spratt

Loyal: Pursuing Steadfastness in Our Relationships

Devotionals, Stay SaneJanuary 2, 2019January 13, 2019

In times of stress, we tend to isolate ourselves from everyone and everything. But we need to be loyal to our relationships, our word, and our lives, portraying the steadfastness of Jesus.

The little break between Christmas and New Years can be disorienting. What day is this? When did I shower last? I know I bought batteries…where are they? But tucked in the midst of confusion are nuggets of reflection. As I was mustering the strength to pack for another trip to Indiana, I found myself reflecting over this past year and the years before.

There were several major differences from previous years, but one stood out the most: friendship. I have never been the one to juggle many different relationships and friendships, but here I am. I owe a lot of this to Oh Lord Help Us and a bit to volunteering at church. No matter who I owe, one thing is for certain: I am rich in relationships.

Introvert

I know just as well as anyone that moving to a new place can be daunting. Making new friends is even harder. Especially for those of us who identify as introverts. There are different levels of introvert, but all the same, it’s difficult and paralyzing.

It’s been four years since we moved to North Carolina and I just now feel like I’ve found some of my people. It took me stepping out, being uncomfortable, fighting against my nature. It’s more than just fighting against myself, it’s following through. Showing I’m reliable, accountable, trustworthy. Showing how much I care…

Wholehearted

I never regret the moments I push past myself to be uncomfortable. Sadly, I used to be extremely fickle… cancel outings, not answer calls or texts. It took me a long time to realize how surface my life was without quality relationships. I can name a few dear souls that never quit.

Praise Jesus for those people who wait patiently for you to get your act together. The loyal, wholehearted ones who know there’s a special friend somewhere inside. They wait… and they wait. Those are the ones who you should hold on to. The ones you thank over and over for not giving up on you. For pursuing you through prayer, texts, invites, etc. I strive every day to live the gracious example of these special friends.

Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.

Proverbs 3:3, ESV

We need each other… through hardships, pain, seasons of grief. Because this life is ever changing with swells of inconsistency and unknown, we need to be found loving and faithful through it all.

We need each other... through hardships, pain, seasons of grief. This life is ever changing with swells of inconsistency, we need to be found loving and faithful through it all. Click To Tweet

Richness of Relationship

Financially, this has been one of the toughest years to date. But what I lack in monetary wealth, I make up for with rich, rich relationships. In previous years of financial strain, I would isolate myself; cut myself off from the support and love of a friend or even family members. I allowed the overwhelm and embarrassment to overthrow my faithfulness.

Not only was my dedication to those I loved strained, but my loyalty to the Lord suffered. My bank account was poor and so was my spirit. I became sporadic in going to church and was even more disloyal in my Bible reading. Hitting my knees? Yeah, non-existent.

Praise God He stays true…

This is a trustworthy saying: If we die with him, we will also live with him. If we endure hardship, we will reign with him. If we deny him, he will deny us. If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is.

2 Timothy 2:11-13, NLT

His loyalty to my heart didn’t bail me out of financial hardship, but it did draw me closer to Himself. In doing so, it showed me the value of relationship over wealth. Of loyalty over inconsistency. In this season, I’m thankful for that lesson. It’s kept my head above a tsunami of stress and encouraged me to draw close to those who love me.

Loyal Example

The Bible’s layout of loyalty is strictly relational. This is no coincidence. We follow Jesus’ example of loyalty straight to the cross. The cross is a symbol of loyalty to God’s divine plan and a devotion to all of us sinners. Not only did Jesus’ faithfulness make it possible for us to have a relationship with God, but also allows a devotion to one another.

“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12:29-31, NIV

We need to strive each day to portray our steadfast devotion to Jesus, and in turn to one another. Love God, love each other. Loyal servants, loyal friends.

Jan Romero

advocate, defend, support, love, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Advocate: Using Examples in Scripture to Advocate

Devotionals, Stay SaneNovember 26, 2018January 13, 2019

Our God is a God of justice and He will defend us. We must allow God to advocate for us and use His example to advocate for ourselves and others.

Throughout my life, I have not seen the need to advocate for myself. I was content to allow people to walk all over me for the sake of pleasing. I have always put the comfort of others ahead of speaking the truth in love…

Fear

This also caused me to not stand up for others because of fear of rebuke or hurt feelings. While I wanted to advocate, I let fear stop me. I met needs and, in certain situations, I stood up for myself and others but it was always in a place and time where I felt comfortable and safe. Following the example of scripture was not my concern. I had a hard time leaving my comfort zone for the good of myself and others.

With that, I also did not allow God to go before me and fight for me. I was prideful. I allowed anger to reside and I suffered in silence. God has taught me that he will go before me and fight for me. Jesus taught me that He advocates for me so I don’t get what I deserve because of my sin. He also gave the example for what it looks like to help and defend others even when it is hard and uncomfortable.

God as Our Advocate

Our God is a God of justice. All throughout scripture, there is proof of Him going before His people and advocating for them. It also regularly discusses the fact that God will intercede on our behalf and defend us. When we decide to follow God we decide to trust Him. We decide to allow Him to direct our lives and to provide justice.

But be assured today that the Lord your God is the one who goes across ahead of you like a devouring fire. He will destroy them; he will subdue them before you. And you will drive them out and annihilate them quickly, as the Lord has promised you.

Deuteronomy 9:3, NIV

In this passage, the Israelites are about to cross the Jordan and face the Anakites. Moses is reassuring them that God will go before them and that He will advocate for them. He will do this by fighting on behalf of the Israelites and defeating their enemies.

God will do this for us too. When we face foes and feel like we can not win we can trust in our God to go before us and fight on our behalf.

Advocating for Ourselves

While God fights for us and Jesus advocates for us, there are still times where we have to stand up and advocate for ourselves. There is a fine line between rebuking out of anger and rebuking out of what’s right. When the time comes that we have to stand up for ourselves we need to make sure that we do it in love and in truth.

Watch Yourselves! If your brother or sister sins, warn them to stop. If they change their hearts and their lives, forgive them. Even if someone sins against you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times and says ‘I am changing my ways’, you must forgive that person.

Luke 17:3-4, CEB

When someone sins against us we have the right to tell them. With that, we also have to be open to forgiving them if they express repentance. Our God is just and does not want us to sit idly by while others sin against us. While sometimes the sin may be malicious and purposeful, other times they may not know that they in the wrong. When we call them out in their sin we are showing them the love of God and giving them an opportunity to gain forgiveness. We are also advocating for ourselves and making sure we are taken care of.

Jesus as Our Advocate

It’s no secret that we are sinners. Because we are sinners we are not able to atone for them on our own. It is clear from the start that we were and still are in need of someone to intercede on our behalf and advocate for us with God. That is where Jesus comes into the picture. Jesus walked in and paid our debt that we could be absolved of our sins and have the gift of eternal life… We are forgiven.

My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. He Himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins– not only our sins but the sins of all the world.

1 John 2:1-2, NLT

Jesus’ Example

Throughout the New Testament Jesus shows us what it looks like to advocate for others. He is constantly standing up to the Pharisees and Sadducees on behalf of God and those who could not stand up for themselves. He gives us the ultimate example…

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has appointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.

Luke 4:18-19, NIV

Jesus clearly said that his mission was to stand up for those who could not stand up for themselves and to set people free. We are to model our lives after Jesus’ example. We need to honor Him by encouraging and supporting those whose voices are silent.

Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’.

Matthew 22:37-39, NIV

Our Neighbors

The second commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. How can we do this if we do not stand up for them and advocate for them as we do for ourselves?

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: ‘The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.’ For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.

Romans 15:1-4, NIV

We are called to bear with each other. To take others insults as our own and to stand up for those who are weak. That can play out in many ways: social justice, helping the poor, mourning with those who mourn. Scripture constantly implores us to take on the burdens of others and to stand with those in trial. Jesus did that better than anyone and we must use the examples He gives us to love one another.

Scripture constantly implores us to take on the burdens of others; to stand with those in trial. Jesus did that better than anyone. We must use the examples He gives us to love one another. Click To Tweet

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Neighborhood: Loving Our Neighbors Through Tragedy

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 27, 2018January 13, 2019

This is a tribute to a very special street full of very special people…

We are told to love our neighbors. This can mean anyone who has a need, but it also means those in our actual neighborhood.

The street I live on is like no other. Currently, our church is doing a series on how to invest in our neighbors and being intentional in developing relationships with them. Our small group did an exercise to see how many neighbors we knew by name, other than, “dog-walker guy”. I won. I could name the adults and the children. Only 2 houses on our entire street did I not know, but one of those I could still name the kids.

We have a party for Halloween. A party for Christmas. And of course a party for Cinco de Mayo. On any random night, there are ladies sitting out on their porches drinking wine. My neighbor has been a life-saver for me on more than one occasion. If someone is sick, there’s a sign-up for meals. If someone has a loss in the family, we pitch in with cutting the grass.

This is a tight-knit community we stumbled upon a year and a half ago. And now it is even tighter. How many people tell their neighbors, “I appreciate you, and I love you.” I have. And I mean it. Tragedy has a way of doing that. Yes, a very tragic thing has happened.

One of our families is gone. Literally, the entire family is gone. The dad, the mom, the 10-year-old daughter, and the 8-year-old son all killed in a car accident. There is a void in our little community. Their truck sits there in the driveway teasing us that this is all a bad dream and they will be home later this evening.

This father and son are the ones who came over to introduce themselves when we were looking at the house. The son and my boys spent the rest of the time playing soccer in our not-yet yard. The boy was barefoot. He was always, always barefoot. We had not even put an offer on the house yet, and already we felt connected.

This son is who my son had his first fight with. They never held that against one another. They knew where the other one stood. And they forgave. And they forgot. Amidst all the laughing, trampoline jumping, Nerf-gun battling, fort building…they forgot their grievances, and just enjoyed one another. They were…friends.

I never got to know the parents or the daughter well. It was the little boy who stole the show with my boys, and on our street. He was a daily part of our lives. So much so that every night my 3-year-old prays for him and his mom and dad. She still does. I told her he doesn’t live there anymore. She asked where he lives now. I told her, “heaven”.

Continually my thoughts go to how merciful it was that they all went together. Those parents were totally devoted to their kids. Even to the point of building a Ninja Warrior course for his birthday, only to take it down the next week. Gotta be honest, there is no way I would do that. If either of the parents had survived without their children, I don’t think they could have borne it. Yes, merciful indeed.

Love your neighbors…

The timing of our church pressing the importance of community could not be any more appropriate.

You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.

Mark 12: 30-31, NLT

A lot of us hide behind the excuse that all of the world is our neighbor. We would rather donate to a child in Ethiopia than give to our neighbor’s Cub Scout Troupe. We’ll donate to a soup kitchen but won’t take a meal when our neighbor’s mother has passed away.

“And who is my neighbor?”

Luke 10:29, NIV

And this isn’t wrong! Everyone can be our neighbor. I’ve heard this passage about the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) explains that our “neighbor” is anyone who has a need. But what if we truly did invest in the lives of our actual neighbors?

Previously, I have felt reluctance to get close with neighbors because what if they see my crazy, and decide that we are “those” neighbors. But what if we can live out the crazy, being honest, and show them that Christ loves us, and them, despite the crazy?

Perhaps sharing life with our neighbors not only means we can extend love, but also perhaps we can receive love. I guarantee my neighbor can hear me when I blow my lid. How humbling, and freeing, that she still wants to be around me. To have my crazy exposed, and still be accepted? Hmm, that kinda sounds like grace.

It is because of this grace, this love in-spite of crazy, that I know I will always make space in my life for my neighbor. And room in my heart for a little, soccer-playing, barefoot boy. I hope you will do the same.

need, love, Oh Lord Help Us, mentor, women, ministry

Need: Realizing the Difference Between God’s Love and the World’s

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 21, 2018January 13, 2019

The world has a vastly different picture of what “love” looks like. We tend to love things and people because we need them. But that’s not God’s love.

What is the very first thing that pops into your head when you hear or see the word love? Your family? Friends? How about your favorite food? Like Celine Dion sang, let’s talk about love…

When my siblings and I want to go out, whether that be to a football game for school or spend the night with a friend, my dad always asks for the 5 Ws. Who? What? Where? When? Why? I like to apply these questions to all aspects of my life. In this case: love. I’d like to specifically focus on who, what, and why.

What Is Love…?

“Baby don’t hurt me”…I don’t know about you, but that question kind of intimidates me. One reason being, my experience with “love” is not something I like to look back on. Perhaps you can relate. Google defines love as an intense feeling of deep affection. However, the Bible says something vastly different. We can find most of what we need to know in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, but I want to focus on the first part…

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5, NIV

Keeps no record of wrongs. That one is especially tough for me. To justify my feelings of hurt and sadness towards someone I love, but has wronged me, I like to bring up past injustices they’ve done against me. This allows me to build myself up and attempts to cut them down. This is just not right. It is not “love”.

Although people tend to mistake kindness for weakness that is never an opportunity to harden your heart, but rather to open it further. I cannot hold someone accountable for their sin when I, myself, am just as full of it. Who am I to judge? God is the only judge who can rightly bring judgment upon us because He has done no wrong.

Who?

Well, I love my family, my friends, my neighbors, the cat that we may or may not adopt… We love lots of people. But we also may not love a lot of people…

How about the lady with 16 items who’s in the 10 item check out line holding everyone up because she can’t seem to find her checkbook? What about the man or woman who broke into your home and stole some of your valuable belongings? God says to love our enemies, but does that include those who have greatly wronged us? Yes; it includes all because we too have wronged others. Who are we to withhold love when it’s so freely given to us by the One who knows no wrong?

But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you… But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Luke 6:27-31 & 35-36, NIV

What?

Sometimes the things we love aren’t things we’re super proud to admit we have love for. Like shows we watch but probably shouldn’t. Or maybe a song most people make fun of but you listen to all the time. I find myself caught in making fun of, or participating in gossip about a certain person, but then an hour later we’re hanging out like we’ve been friends forever.

For myself, I have to question why I feel shame towards loving or liking these things. Who am I trying to please? Whose approval do I hope to gain from pretending not to take part in things that others may not enjoy? Also, we run the risk of replacing God with these things, and even people by giving them more space in our hearts.

Why?

The answer to that question varies greatly from person to person. Honestly, we’ve desensitized ourselves with the word and the concept of love. “I love these Cheetos” or “I love fun socks.” We use the same term to describe things and people. We relate human beings to foods we eat. Relational love is vastly different from that of our material love.

Another way we fail in Love 101 is that we love for all the wrong reasons. Why do you love that person? Well, they make me happy. What do you love so much about those shoes? Oh, they make me look so cool and everyone’s wearing them!

We love things because of what they do for us and when they no longer satisfy us, we’re done. Knowing this, how and why should we even bother with love? We must simply look to Christ. His love is unfailing, never-ending, reckless, jealous, pure, uncontainable, and unfathomable. Love, true love, is unconditional.

Our Greatest Need

Our idea of love has been so soiled and distorted. We tend to love things out of necessity, rather than them being necessary because of our love for them. We shouldn’t love because we need, we should love because we are loved. Our greatest need isn’t to be filled by delicious Cheetos or fancy shoes or even a special person. What we need is God’s love, and it’s ours for the taking through Jesus Christ.

Our idea of love has been so soiled and distorted. We tend to love things out of necessity, rather than them being necessary because of our love for them. Click To Tweet

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Value: Giving Worth to Ourselves, Others, and God

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 17, 2018January 13, 2019

As women, we are prone to diminish our worth. When we rely on God, He changes our thoughts and actions to express value in ourselves, others, and Him.

My early twenties have been nothing that I thought they would be. While there are accomplishments in my life I am immensely proud of (buying my first house, getting my first ministry job), most of my twenties have consisted of crazy things that I never would have expected to happen. They have also consisted of constantly de-valuing myself.

Twenty-four

I turned twenty-four this past week, officially entering my “mid-twenties”. There are so many things the Lord has taught me over the past four years, but I know that I have only scratched the surface. Also, I know that in the next four, He will teach me so much more.

I have been feeling like a light-bulb went on in my head. I seemed to wake up from a long sleep and realize I need to get my life together. They say when you turn twenty-five your brain is fully developed and it becomes increasingly difficult to change. That gives me one year. One year to change the things about myself that are holding me back. To learn how to value myself, advocate for myself, and take care of myself.

The Lord is teaching and challenging me more every day. And every day I feel like I am one step closer to who He has created me to be. Don’t get me wrong I have A LOT of growing to do and I will never be perfect, but I am excited to live in the truth of God’s grace and to live my life according to His purpose.

“Value” is the focus word that I have chosen to give myself for my twenty-fourth year. I want to value myself, value others, and most importantly value God. I know that the Lord has major plans for my next year of life and I am ready to value all the things he has for me.

Value Ourselves

How can we value ourselves? That is the golden question, isn’t it? We know that we should and that God wants us to, but what does that look like? It means that we respect ourselves, we take care of ourselves. That starts with replacing the de-valuing lies with God’s truth. It means taking care of our bodies; physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When we focus on that, we truly begin to know what it means to value ourselves.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own.

1 Corinthians 6:19

Treasure Others

When we learn to value ourselves the next step is valuing others. This is a crucial part of what God has called us to and a life-giving thing to do. This can take form in many ways. From sending an encouraging text to a friend, to donating time to a non-profit organization. Treasuring others is important and can be life-changing.

Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.

Romans 15:7

Cherish God

The most important part of value is valuing God. We must love God before we can value anything else. We must cherish His blessings, His presence in our lives, and His unwavering, unconditional love.

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.

Matthew 22:37

God loves and values us, and in return we need to value Him, others, and ourselves. When we live up to this idea of value and act it out in our lives we have richer, more joyful, and more peaceful lives.

We must love God before we can value anything else. We must cherish His blessings, His presence in our lives, and His unwavering, unconditional love. Click To Tweet

All scripture is from the ESV Bible.

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Shelter: Allowing God to Teach Us How to Be Safe People

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 12, 2018January 13, 2019

The world is full of unsafe people, but God urges His children to be the safety. A person who will love and shelter, even in the presence of an insecure relationship.

Safe…who or what comes to your mind when you read that word?

I know I should say JESUS, but I immediately think of my husband. He was my first safe person. Reflecting back on my childhood I think of my room – it felt safe when the rest of my home did not. My mom focused on our weaknesses rather than admitting her own, so disapproval rang loudly among us. I spent a lot of time in my room. Did you have a safe place?

Recognizing Unsafe People

Unsafe people do not like to admit their weaknesses.

By age 11, Jesus was already whispering my name. I wanted to ‘join the church,’ which meant baptism in our denomination. Mom took my brother and I every Sunday and was happy for us to be baptized, (she forced my older brother to join me).

Unsafe people are religious instead of relational.

Mom was threatened by every friend I ever had. As a result, she criticized and found fault with each one. Therefore, I learned not to bring friends home. Eventually, I learned not to make close friends at all.

Unsafe people are self-righteous instead of humble. They see themselves above everyone else and refuse to see their own negative qualities.

By the grace and mercy of God, at the age of 13, I was invited to a church with a large youth group. They drew me in with their joy and the leaders loved me as much as I would allow. The other kids accepted me. In time, I learned that Jesus and His church could be a safe place. For decades, that church sheltered me and my own precious family. Then, like baby birds, we had to learn to fly alone with Jesus, trusting Him to be our refuge (Psalm 46:1) instead of depending on men, whose feet, we discovered, were clay.

Unsafe people demand trust instead of earning it. Unsafe people lie. Unsafe people are defensive.

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24, NIV

Safe People Don’t Condemn

Sadly, it usually takes many years of God’s declaration of NO CONDEMNATION over our lives before we feel safe in His love, safe in His strong arms of acceptance.

But as Ann Voskamp says so eloquently in her book, The Way of Abundance: “There is always more grace in Christ than there is guilt in us.”

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

Romans 8:1-2, NIV

As we learn that God, in His vast mercy, doesn’t condemn us, we come to realize that we don’t need to condemn, either. And when we do, we repent and find forgiveness.

As we learn that God, in His vast mercy, doesn't condemn us, we come to realize that we don't need to condemn, either. And when we do, we repent and find forgiveness. Click To Tweet

Love Bears All Things

Finding safe people with whom to be in relationship is critical to emotional and spiritual health. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend first wrote about this in 1995 in their book, Safe People. Their work continues to be utilized by Christian therapists today, and variations of it are used by therapists worldwide, especially those who work with domestic abuse victims.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 provides a model for us to follow in order to become the safe havens which are needed in this unsafe world. Most of us have read these verses dozens of times, perhaps even memorized them. Applying this passage to daily life proves more difficult. In fact, I struggle with each single verse! Verse 7 alone requires perseverance.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I Corinthians 13:7, ESV

Or as one theologian explained, the Greek usage indicates: keeps bearing, keeps believing, keeps hoping, keeps enduring. We don’t get to stop bearing, believing, hoping, or enduring after one, four, or fifty people. We keep on keeping on loving…like Jesus does because His Spirit lives within us.

Stego: Shelter

However, I stumble over ‘bears all things,’ mainly because I pictured it as being some stalwart, meek Puritan woman who keeps her head down and guts life out. Although I tried on the Church Lady “M.O.” from my 20’s to early 40’s, it just didn’t fit! Do you know what I mean?

But my image couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Love bears all things. “To bear,” isn’t a grimacing Puritan. In the Greek, “to bear,” stego, means to protect or keep by covering…as a roof.

Imagine being inside your home during a loud thunderstorm. Rain is pounding on the roof like marching band drums. Lightening is flashing and thunder booming as though fireworks are being set off all around you. The wind is blowing the tree limbs over to smack the ground…

Not to fear, however; you’re safe inside, warm and protected. This is love that bears. It provides shelter, a roof during the storms of life. Usually, people looking for safe are simply asking, “Will you love me? Will you love me as I really am?” Ann Voskamp said:

Real love is a roof. Real love makes you into a shelter, real love makes you into a safe place. Real love makes you safe.

Before we can become a safe shelter for someone else, we must learn to receive the grace God offers moment by moment, day by day. By daily breathing in His grace, forgiveness and mercy, we gradually learn to become vulnerable to Him…and then to others. Ever so slowly, as the shattered heart heals, we become open, poured out, and welcoming to other broken hearts.

We become stego for others.

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Unconditional: Accepting God’s Gift of Full Force Love

Devotionals, Stay SaneAugust 21, 2018June 28, 2019

Our love has limits and conditions. But God’s love is unconditional. He is waiting for us to open His gift of full-force love, and share it with the world.

School had started back and I was going through a list of “Thoughts of The Day” that I use to start my class. One stuck out and made me really stop to reflect about what love is.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

– Mother Teresa

I had the immediate thought that if someone has to earn love, then they aren’t really being given love.

Conditions…

Reflecting on my relationships I began to wonder how many times I had made that stipulation. Have I ever made a friend feel like they “owed” me? Probably. Can I say I have never said “If you would just (blank) I would love you more”? Nope, I think I may have said that qualifier a time or two. At this point in my self-reflection, I’m not proud, but I think it’s important to face my shortcomings and correct them as I can.

It is my goal to reflect God’s light in my life. I have a lot to work on. When I have something to work on, I try to make a road map. Where am I? Where do I want to end up? How am I going to get there?

So, obviously, I am at a place where my love is sometimes given with conditions. I want to love without reserve, wholeheartedly. How to get there? That’s the question.

Unconditional…

When I started thinking about love, I went to the Bible’s definition in 1 Corinthians 13:4-13. Paul lays out very clearly what love is and isn’t. This is something that I have heard, recited and contemplated most of my life.

So I went looking for other verses that talk about how to love like Christ. I came across Ephesians 2.

Essentially, these verses tell us that we are all sinners and because we are sinners we deserve to die. But God is so merciful and loves us beyond measure. He sent us His Son to die to save us forever. Grace is what saves us. God’s love. We are God’s creation. He loves us and wants to be with us. So He gave us a gift.

For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God; it is not from works, so that no one can boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9

There is nothing I can do to save my life. I can’t be nicer, wiser, more polite, or do more service. All of that would be great, but it won’t buy me salvation.

Full Force Love…

Agape love gave me salvation as a gift. The only condition is acceptance of the gift. Nothing can change the gift, except a rejection of it. WOW! That is overwhelming to reconcile. And gloriously liberating at the same time.

You are my source of strength! I will sing praises to you! For God is my refuge, the God who loves me.

Psalms 59:17

I have been incredibly lucky in my life to know really good, full force love. My parents, grandparents, aunt, uncle, husband and children have all shown me abundant love. I try desperately to give it back in equal measure. Some instances are more successful than others. I would be willing to say, they have felt the same. When I am tired, angry, overwhelmed or distracted I can snap at the wrong person, ignore a need, or put conditions on my emotions (“I would love you so much more if you didn’t need to argue with everything I say”).

God never has and never will do that. His love is always. It is a gift just waiting to be unwrapped, lifted up, and held dear. If that isn’t enough to sing praises over, I don’t know what is.

But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

Friends, I want to encourage you to shred the paper and ribbons off the gift. Open it with abandon. Let’s celebrate this gift of full force love and try to give it back to one another.

Shred the paper and ribbons off the gift. Open it with abandon. Let's celebrate this gift of full force love and try to give it back to one another. Click To Tweet

Dear God,

I am coming to you with shame and sadness in my heart. I have failed to give love openly. Help me to share the gift You have given so freely. Thank you for the greatest gift ever given – salvation.

Love,

All scripture reference is from the NET Bible.

Limits: Learning to Love With Your Whole Heart

Devotionals, Stay SaneAugust 1, 2018July 30, 2019

We are to love God with our whole heart, and others without limits even when it hurts. We will feel the pain of love when we choose to invest in people.

I have heard it said that when you have kids, a piece of your heart lives in someone else’s body. Having three kids of my own, I know this to be very true! Their little smiles, their dreams, their ideas, their laughs, their smells and even their sins are all wrapped up in little packages of human right before me. God took a part of me and a part of my husband and made these beautiful, wonderful gifts. They truly are gifts from God. And my heart is in them, walking around at their school, on their sports teams, in their play, in their work. That is my heart out there learning to navigate this big, beautiful world. I long to be with them, hold them close. I want them to love what I love. Share my passions and my dreams. They are my heart.

I wonder, does a piece of God’s heart live in each one of His children? Does He watch as we take His heart into our homes, workplaces, schools and neighborhoods? Does He long to be with us, long to hold us close, long for us to love what He loves? I believe He does. I believe this is a part what it means to be made in God’s image. But it’s not just my kids. I have left a huge piece of my heart in a nation across the ocean, in another world, another culture.

Living overseas changes you, no matter how long or short your time in another land, you can never be the same. We were blessed with an incredible experience to live in North Africa for a time. It was beautiful. Palm trees swaying in the breeze, gorgeous sunsets like none other, exotic sounds and smells, the kindness of people all around me. Constant jabber in a foreign tongue. I loved it. Living in another country was hard, to say the least. But to me, living in North Africa was a little piece of Heaven. I was home. When circumstances forced us to leave earlier than expected, I wept.

Love With Limits

I constantly feel the ache of knowing that when I left my Beloved Tunisia, I left a piece of my heart there, too. I live daily with the strain of living in one place I now call home and missing another that was my home. I miss the smells, the food, the sunsets, the sounds, the colorful Medina. I miss speaking another language, walking and riding in taxis. I miss looking into beautiful Tunisian faces and telling them they are loved, they are special. That nation, those people and culture changed me. Jesus changed me. It has been seven years since we returned to the States, but I still long to return to my other home.

So being thus tenderly and affectionately desirous of you, we continued to share with you, not only God’s good news (the Gospel), but also our own lives as well, for you had become so very dear to us.

1 Thessalonians 2:8, AMP

Love Without Limits

So, how do we do it? How do we live life day in and day out, with our hearts spread all over the place? How do we live with the limits the world and circumstances place on our hearts? Some days my heart feels shattered. I wonder why I am here. I beg God to show me my purpose.

Yet, there is holiness in the shattered pieces. A love that bleeds through barriers of culture, age, status, situation.
Jesus let His heart be shattered to save our world. The more we know Him, the more we become like Him, the more we gaze into His eyes, the more we love like Him. To love Jesus with my whole heart, means I might need to let it shatter.

For the love of Christ controls and compels us, because we have concluded this, that One died for all, therefore all died;

2 Corinthians 5:14, AMP

Don’t be afraid to love until your heart is bursting! Wherever you are, whatever your life stage, you are called to love. Love with abandon, without restraint. Love through the mess, through the aching. When we love Jesus with our whole heart, He holds the shattered pieces, and gives us His own heart. When we choose to invest in people, love without limits, He holds us tenderly. The more we love Him, the more we love like Him.

When we love Jesus with our whole heart, He holds the shattered pieces, and gives us His own heart. Click To Tweet

Marko Blažević