Reliable: Trusting Our Unchanging God in a Swirling World

While our world is ever-changing, we serve a God who is reliable and never changing. He can be trusted for He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. 

Swirling Thoughts

Yesterday was not my finest hour. If I am honest, this hasn’t been my greatest week either. My son Evan and I are living in Philadelphia while he undergoes a bone marrow transplant. To say I am over it just does not do the whole experience justice. He arrived September 4^th to begin chemo, while I arrived September 11^th to be here during the transplant and for the rest of the treatment. Going in, we knew this would be a 3-month process here in Philly. I knew that.

But… 3 months in my head and 3 months in real time are just not the same. The days have gotten long. The room has started to close in. Evan has gotten bored. We both miss the rest of our family. And, I have been feeling it coming all week. The tears, the anxiety, the pressing grief from being away from all I know that is familiar. It has been a tough week.

Feeling Overwhelmed

As part of our exit from the hospital, I have to learn how to flush his line. So, there’s a lot of new vocabulary in the hospital. Line. Broviac. Flush. It has all been very overwhelming. Needless to say, I don’t function well under stress. I’m pretty sure nobody does. But, here I was in a class trying to process how to keep Evan’s central line flushed and in good shape and I melted into a puddle of tears.

I had texted several of my praying friends right before I entered the room for teaching to ask them to pray. The prospect of leaving the hospital was scaring me to death. I knew I needed the prayers. Within 5 minutes, the teacher had decided I needed more time to process all of this information. She was going to advocate for a slower pace. I was greatly relieved, but still super embarrassed to have gotten so upset.

Change is Hard

Change. I’m not a fan. I remember a day my college roommate moved our furniture around without telling me. It felt like grounds for moving immediately. The past month has been “change” overload and I am resisting it like crazy. I like sameness, sure, and steady. This experience here, waiting to see if my son’s health will improve, has been a rollercoaster of change. A new drug every day. Constant monitoring so doctors can decide if he needs a new drug. I had to change rooms this week so Evan could have his own shower. Did I mention I hate change? But, I am in a world that is always changing; that is never the same.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16:33, NIV

He is Unchanging

I left the hospital for a breather and when I returned, I headed for the elevator. I glanced to my right and there was another mom with the same look on her face. Weary. Scared. Tears down her face. As we stepped on the elevator, I just quietly asked if I could pray for her. She gave me her name and I just asked Our Father for His care. His comfort. His help.

As I am struggling here, my emotions are fighting with my head on a constant basis. There is change all around me, but He has not changed. He is reliable, constant and steady.

There is change all around us, but God has not changed. He is reliable, constant and steady. Click To Tweet

He is Reliable

I’ve mentioned before that I like to put up scripture during difficult seasons as a way to remind my heart of what is true. Before we left South Carolina, I had been given some cards to open here in Philly as a way of encouragement for the long journey. One dear friend had put verses on index cards within her card and I have put the scriptures all over my room. I have a constant reminder that God is not changing, ever reliable, even if the whole of my world is swirling non-stop.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Hebrews 13:8, NIV