How Do You Feel About Prayer?

I wanted to title this post, “How to Have All Your Prayers Answered in 3 Easy Steps” and it was going to go like this:

Step 1: Be thankful for everything.

Step 2: Only ask for intangible things.

Step 3: Follow everything up with “if.”

And even though my alternate title sounds like I’m being facetious, I don’t necessarily disagree with those three steps. But let me back up and tell you a bit more of what I struggle with and why.

Nearly 2 decades ago, when I was in college, I was fervent in prayer. I prayed with passion and I prayed specifically and I prayed for everything. I even considered myself a “prayer warrior.” I guess this was opposed to a “prayer pacifist.” Not really sure, but that may better describe me currently. It was after college that difficult life struggles hit. And my faith was shaken. And things that were once simple were not any longer.

After that, whenever I heard people talk about prayer, and that their prayers were answered, I felt jaded. Why weren’t mine? Did I not pray fervently enough? Did I not sacrifice enough? Were not enough people praying? And I found myself beginning to change the way I viewed prayer.

I accepted that the Lord has a plan, and even though I play a role in it, it is not about me. His plan is to bring all people into a deeper relationship with Him. And if His plan involves hardship in order to accomplish that, who am I to complain? Who am I to say He messed up or is wrong? But in accepting this, I no longer felt the need to pray for anything specific. No longer could I bring myself to ask for healing, or for a job, or for my house to sell.

My prayers began to become more conversational. That’s more of what it should be, don’t you think? Not a checklist of things that the Lord needs to take care of, or a wish list for a holy genie. I began to pray for things like peace, comfort, endurance, and wisdom. Or for sin to be removed from my heart. These are things that I know the Lord desires for all of us. I don’t know if He wants to solve [whatever it is that I am struggling with at the moment], but I know that He wants me to know a deeper dependence on Him. These are prayers that I can pray confidently.

I also don’t want to feel like I can manipulate the Lord with my prayers, otherwise I might take credit. I don’t want to pray for a life with no troubles, because that was never promised. I want a life where I am fully His. But…I also don’t want to go through troubles!! I’m not a crazy masochist! And so alas, this is difficult for me to resolve within myself.

This past week, as I’ve been fighting off the feeling of discouragement, I became overwhelmed with all that needs to be done in the next 2 weeks. I wanted to pray that God would send someone to buy our house and have this stress taken from me, but I just couldn’t seem to ask for it. So I reached out to an amazing group of ladies that I meet with regularly to pray on my behalf. And then I had a long talk with the Lord that went something like this:

“Lord, You know what I’m struggling with. You know that we need someone to buy our house. You know that I’m stressed, so give me peace Lord. But what if You don’t want someone to buy our house yet. What if the person You want to live here isn’t ready? And maybe it’s not even about me, maybe it’s about them. Or maybe we were wrong to buy this house, and we are paying the consequences. What if there is something I need to learn? I don’t want to rush through learning what You have for me. I know that You are going to take care of us. So why am I even perplexed? Why am I wanting this so badly and feeling discouraged? [Here I went quiet, listening…] Ahh! I just don’t want to be bothered! To be honest, I’m just tired of keeping my house clean, and I’m mentally drained with trying to figure out how to pack when we need to leave things behind.”

Then the Lord brought to mind all the ways that He has provided. He has provided for us to purchase a small home that we can afford without having to sell our current home. Our family won’t have to be apart as we wait for the house to sell. He has given us a school for my son going into K4 that is not requiring us to pay until he starts in October. On the day I was discouraged, a friend texts me out of the blue to check on me. Through our church Facebook page I met a lady who moved to where we are going last year, and has offered for her and her husband to help us unload the truck. I’ve been blessed by friends that are willing to hang out and play with my kids so that I can pack. Oh friend! He is taking care of me!! And I can absolutely trust Him!

Before any of this began, I could hear Him saying, “Your time of rest is coming to an end, do you trust me?” And I responded with a “yes,” but I was fearful of what exactly that would entail. Now He is telling me, “Don’t be fearful, I will take care of you.”

Now, back to the steps to have your prayers answered.

Step 1: Be thankful for everything. Trusting that all things are for His pursuit of our hearts.

Step 2: Only ask for intangible things. Of course the Lord wants for us to feel peace and for us to know Him better.

Step 3: Follow everything up with “if…it’s Your will.” When praying for specifics, it is done with open hands, knowing that His ways are higher than mine and that I don’t have all the information.

Yes, I still struggle with praying for specific things, but I’m learning. I’m learning that when I pray for things that are out of my control, it is emphasizing how much I am dependent on the Lord. I know many of you are passionate about prayer, and I would love to hear your heart on this. How do you feel about prayer?

xoxo