Encourage

We all need to be surrounded by people to challenge us to be our better self. These are six examples of people who will support and help you be who you were created to be.

This past week I decided to do a whirlwind trip back to Greenville, South Carolina. I needed to pick up new items that will be appearing soon in the shop, and I was feeling a bit homesick for the town and the people. So on Monday morning I sent my oldest son off to school (we have year round school here), packed up my younger two, and hit the road. One potty stop, and four hours later we arrived and accomplished the first goal of the trip, picking up the items. After that was accomplished, it was on to hug some necks. And boy, did I ever hug! Good, soul-filling hugs.

I got to hug the neck of a sweet lady who is experiencing deep grief at the moment. Then I got to hug and drink coffee with a friend while we watch our kiddos run and play. After being revitalized there, I pulled myself away to have dinner and stay the night with the most giving and gracious woman I have ever known. My whole time knowing her, she has inspired me to be kinder and more generous, and she gives great hugs too! The next morning I went back to my old cycle class at the YMCA. So many people I love in one place at one time. I got to hug the precious lady who is in charge of the child watch. I love that woman, she has touched more lives than she will ever know. I got to hug so many friends while I was there. So many sweaty hugs were to be had! But I still wasn’t done… I then met up with a friend for brunch who continually impresses me with all that she juggles, and all that she accomplishes. I didn’t want to leave, I could have sat with her all afternoon, but alas, my 2 year old was beginning to melt down, and I needed to hit the road so I could be home before my son got off the bus that afternoon.

My heart was so full after that 24 hours. I was able to see so many people that have encouraged me, helped me, and challenged me over the last few years. There were so many more who I wished I could have seen, but there was only so much I could do in the little time I had. Many of these women were the inspiration for a blog post I had written a couple years ago, so I wanted to share it again.

If you are ever struggling with your day, or week, or even year, these people will be there to keep you going, or in some cases, keep you still. They love you and want what is best for you and your family. These are…

The 6 People You Absolutely Need in Your Life

The Dreamer: This is the person that is always coming up with ideas. Every time you see them they have a new adventure planned and one for you as well.

!!!!Warning, don’t be tempted to lose focus and get off the path you are on.

The Motivator: This is the person that once you have an idea, they tell you should go for it. They think you are the best at whatever it is that you are doing, or at least make you feel that you are.

!!!!Warning, don’t let this prompt you to act before you are ready.

The Brainstormer: This is the person that will keep you going once you have an idea or plan by keeping your mind focused on what you can do to keep improving.

!!!!Warning, planning is a good thing, but be sure to take action after you have done your planning.

The Realist: This is the person that will keep you in check and not allow you to run too far ahead.

!!!!Warning, this can feel like discouragement, but that is not the intent.

The Questioner: This is the person that will ask challenging questions to make you think through all the steps. The questions are not to discourage or encourage. Just to make you think through every possible angle.

!!!!Warning, nothing will ever have all the kinks worked out, don’t let this immobilize you.

The Encourager: This is the person that will shower you with compliments and make you feel like you are changing the world. And they will do this just about the time you want to give up.

!!!!Warning, this person loves you and what you do, don’t let it cause you to think higher of yourself than you should.

Some of the people in your life will have more than one of these traits. Or you may have multiples of one kind of people in your life. Life is too complicated and busy to spend time on discouraging thoughts. Surround yourself with people who will encourage you and challenge you!

Life is too complicated and busy to spend time on discouraging thoughts. Click To Tweet

Surround yourself with people who will encourage you and challenge you! Click To Tweet

I love those people back in South Carolina, and am thankful to be finding more of those people here in North Carolina. I could not have pulled this trip off without the help of friends and neighbors. I am truly blessed!

So what about you? Who do you have in your life that encourages you to be who you were created to be?

Ian Schneider

This past spring my older son wanted to play soccer. I wanted him to play t-ball. He had played t-ball the year before and did great. He made good contact with the ball, and hit it hard. He hustled on the field and usually got to the ball first. Like, even if it meant running from one side of the field to the other. Five year olds. I was excited to start my journey as a baseball mom. But I messed up and signed him up for soccer at the same time t-ball was happening. So I gave him the choice. And he actually thought about it. And had a good reason. Gotta give him some credit. He said that since he had already played t-ball, he wanted to try a new sport. Ok, fine.

Oh.Lord.Help.Us. For real. It was SO PAINFUL!!

Like myself, if he gets overwhelmed, he shuts down. Well, it’s so chaotic out there that all he does is jump up and down. He doesn’t kick the ball, he doesn’t block the ball, he just jumps. It drove me bonkers. Part of it is the age, part of it is personality, and part of it is upbringing I suppose. We drill into our kids to be kind, and gentle, and not aggressive. Then we put them on the field and want them to fight for the ball. He has the skill. He plays great when it’s just us at home. And he can be aggressive with his little brother. So frustrating.

But alas, all is well. I figure, we will go back to t-ball. That’s easier, not so chaotic. Your turn to hit. Ball comes to you, you get it. It’s not a mob-fest. Hold up, not so fast momma. See, he got a trophy at the end of last soccer season. Just like all the kids did. He is super proud of that trophy. He truly thinks he was a star player. Oh dear.

This past week basketball started. Yep, here we are again. My husband took him to his first practice. Near the end of the practice he texted me out of desperation and frustration. It was the same thing as soccer apparently. Leaving practice he says, “I can’t wait to tell mom how good I am!” As sweet as that is it makes me want to scream. My husband’s response was a gentle, “you have room for improvement.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for encouraging my (and all) children. And I’m even fine with awards. But let’s actually encourage something worthwhile. If you are going to give the kids trophies, then make it mean something. How about, “Johnny, you get the award for always trying your hardest,” or “Susy, you get the award for being the most encouraging to your teammates,” and of course include “Billy, you get the award for points scored,” and “Betty, you get the award for most blocks.” Do you like my use of names from the fifties? But now my son thinks he is great, when really, he needs to practice and put work into. He needs to get out of his comfort zone and be bold.

But this requires more effort of the coaches and the program as a whole. And, of course, more effort of us. This means we (my husband) will need to work with him, teach him, practice with him. Then, perhaps, he will not feel overwhelmed. Then he can focus on boxing out and getting rebounds (do you like how I’m throwing out basketball terms, like I know how to play). With work and effort, he can then feel proud of that trophy, because he did something to earn it.

Support: The 6 People You Absolutely Need in Your Life

The 6 People You Absolutely Need in Your Life

Please Don’t Give My Kid a Trophy