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Abandon: Answering God’s Call to Surrender Our Lives

Devotionals

God would call us a thousand times if He has to. May we not ignore His call and surrender our lives to live for Him with reckless abandon.

A few weeks ago, while driving to the beach with our oldest granddaughter, we drove Gary, my husband a bit mad with blasting chick music. Since she and her sister were young, the three of us have jammed to the likes of Adele, Sara Bareilles, and of course, Taylor Swift. I even remember dancing around my family room holding their baby brother a few times… He’s now eleven!

Nevertheless, Gary surreptitiously turned down our tunes with his steering wheel control, (he needed earplugs, I suppose,) but when I noticed, I cranked it back up so that Anna and I could belt it out, singing with abandon to our old favorites.

We didn’t care who might be watching in passing cars or how we sounded, (although she is an accomplished musician who performs publicly). The two of us were just, well, jamming our hearts out.

God will call us a thousand times if He has to. May we not ignore His call and surrender our lives to live for Him with reckless abandon. Women of Faith | Spiritual Growth | Scripture Study | Christian Mentoring | Daily Devotional #devotional #scripture #communication #surrender #righteousness #Godscall

Hello…

One of the all-time favorite songs that my daughter and granddaughters have joked around with, in the past few years is Hello, by Adele. It’s so melancholy that we naturally feel the need to overdramatize it when we mock-sing it.

Hello, it’s me
I was wondering if after all these years
You’d like to meet, to go over
Everything
They say that time’s supposed to heal ya
But I ain’t done much healing

Hello, can you hear me?
I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet

[Pre-Chorus 1]
There’s such a difference between us
And a million miles

[Chorus]
Hello from the other side
I must’ve called a thousand times to tell you
I’m sorry, for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home

Adele, “Hello”

I know this has happened to you…

Earworm

Since our trip, this song WILL NOT LEAVE MY MIND!!! I can be vacuuming, applying makeup, planting flowers and what wafts through my head? “I must have called a thousand times…”

Oh, my sweet Lord! How can I rid myself of this song, which I used to enjoy, but has now become a pesky irritant?! My addled brain has gotten stuck in a groove that just might cause permanent damage!

Finally, recalling that God has a record of speaking in various and, to us, unusual ways, (Numbers 22:28, through a donkey; Exodus 3, through a burning bush) I finally stopped fighting the words in this song and began to listen. What in all that is righteous and good are You trying to say to me, Jesus?! Because, slow as I am to hear, SURELY You are speaking through this song.

I must have called a thousand times…

Those words played a loop in my head. Often, I ask God to speak to me about specific situations or decisions that need to be made. At times, I find myself pleading for direction. The truth is, He is speaking all the time. If there is a problem with communication, it’s on my end.

Are You Home?

Statistics reveal a lack of communication is one of the top complaints in couples seeking marriage counseling.

God has the same issue with us… He calls; we don’t answer…or pretend we didn’t hear: “Was that God or the devil?”

As Adele said in her song, “When I call you never seem to be home.”

I wonder if we don’t “meet (with God) to go over everything,” (Adele, verse 1), because unconsciously we fear He may require something of us which we aren’t willing to give. Or, perhaps He may want to tear down that invisible wall we erected around a deep wound, inflicted years ago.

Even the thought of God asking us to take these actions is too painful to contemplate, so we don’t answer His call…or abandon our will to the Father. We settle for His gifts and working for Him.

Abandon

In Mark 10:28, ESV, Peter proclaimed boldly:

“See, we have left everything and followed you.”

As a young man, Oswald Chambers wrote:

Our Lord replies in effect, that abandonment is for Himself, and not for what the disciples themselves will get from it. Beware of an abandonment which has the commercial spirit in it…Abandonment is not for anything at all. We have got so commercialized that we only go to God for something from Him, and not for Himself. It is like saying, “No, Lord, I don’t want You, I want myself; but I want myself clean and filled with the Holy Spirit; I want to be put in Your showroom and be able to say – ‘This is what God has done for me.’” …Abandonment never produces the consciousness of my own effort, because the whole life is taken up with the One to Whom we abandon.

My Utmost for His Highest

Oh Beloved, in moments of total honesty, stripped bare of our false piety and bangles of good works, can we truly accuse our Father of wanting to harm us? How can we entertain the notion that we can’t trust His goodness when He loved us enough to hold nothing back from us, not even His only Son?

Missed Call

Many years ago, Gary and one of our sons went to Russia on a two-week mission trip. We were never apart for that long, so I did not want to miss the one phone call he was going to make while they were gone. The other two kids and I were getting out of the car from church when we heard Gary leaving a message on the answering machine, (I told you it was years ago).

I was frantic to get in the door to catch him but was too late. Needless to say, I was very disappointed and cried. My oldest child thought I was being a bit dramatic, but I didn’t care. This was my Beloved. I loved and missed him; I needed to hear his voice. (He called again later.)

Apple of His Eye

Multiply that a gazillion trillion times and that is how the Father loves us. We are His Beloved, the apple of His eye.

For this is what the Lord Almighty says: “After the Glorious One has sent me against the nations that have plundered you – for whoever touches you touches the apple of my eye…

Zechariah 2:8, NIV
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Keep me as the apple of Your eye; hide me under the shadow of Your wings, From the wicked who oppress me, from the deadly enemies who surround me.

Psalm 17:8-9, NKJV

I pray we won’t miss the times the Lover of our souls calls us to abandon our lives to Him in a fresh way. May we not expect Him to ‘call a thousand times,’ although He will. May we run to Him like a gazelle each time He whispers our name, and joyfully obey whatever He asks.

Do we not meet with God because we fear He will ask something of us? Or maybe He wants to tear down the walls we’ve built around pain? His call is for us to abandon our will for the Father’s. Click To Tweet

God will call us a thousand times if He has to. May we not ignore His call and surrender our lives to live for Him with reckless abandon. Women of Faith | Spiritual Growth | Scripture Study | Christian Mentoring | Daily Devotional #devotional #scripture #communication #surrender #righteousness #Godscall

unsplash-logoAnnie Spratt

Empowering the Fathers

Parent, Stay Sane

The role of a father is a powerful thing. As a mom, we can encourage the father of our children to embrace his role and in turn raise a generation of healthy and confident children.

Before I continue, let me make it known that I was raised by a good man, and then I married a good man. I completely understand that the father of your children may, in fact, not be a good man. Or maybe he is a good man, but you had a bad marriage. These are situations that I cannot empathize with, nor will I try to pretend that I can. In these situations, I listen. I will always listen.

Since my husband and I are pretty much perfect…hahahahaha! Um, no. Not even close. Here is the truth: My default is to yell. Or as my mother use to say (as she was yelling), “I’m not yelling, I’m talking passionately!” I often have to put myself in “time-out.” Last week I hid in my room and had “happy hour” with a beer at 4:30 in the afternoon. My husband never yells, but he has the ability to make others feel like an idiot when he talks. He can be harsh with his words if he is stressed. But we are constantly working and encouraging each other to be more loving, more patient, more consistent.

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Psalm 127:3, ESV

Here are five ways that we can empower the fathers…

Respect. By respecting my husband (and him respecting me in turn), we are modeling to our children a couple things. First, how to treat others. Second, that they must respect their father and mother. It’s what is expected. Is it always achieved? No, but when it’s not it gets corrected, both within our relationship and our relationship with our children.

What this looks like for us…

  • If I disagree with my husband on a topic, I don’t talk to him with a condescending tone.
  • I am not demanding in my tone. I ask for things to be done, I say please a lot, and thank you a ton.
  • If I disagree on a parenting action, I talk with him about it in private, not in front of the children.

Communication. This is crucial in any relationship, but especially marriage. And with honest communication, there must be trust. Because we are not perfect parents, there are times that we have to point out faults to one another. This is done in a calm, sincere manner.

What this looks like for us…

  • Pointing out that his tone was too harsh.
  • Informing him that he did not follow through on what he said he was going to do.
  • Mentioning things that he needs to be more attentive to.

Listen. Being the financial provider for our family, he can feel stressed from pressure with work related events. By listening to him vent about his day, he is then able to relax and enjoy family time when he is home.

What this looks like for us…

  • I don’t fully grasp what my husband does for a living. I kind of hate it when people ask what his does. Because of this, I often get glassy-eyed when he starts talking too technical, and he knows this. The point is that I still sit there and listen. And sometimes I can even think of good questions to ask!
  • I do not typically give advice, unless it’s an issue with a female co-worker, in which case I may play devil’s advocate and try to help him understand what is going through her mind.

Support. My husband and I do not have the same strengths, and for this I am thankful. If we had the same strengths, we would probably have the same weaknesses, and then we would be in a real mess. We are able to acknowledge these areas of weakness, which allows the other to fill-in the gaps. We are not perfect, but together we are strong.

What this looks like for us…

  • At times I have trouble keeping boundaries with my boys. They just end up wearing me down. In these times, my husband is able to step in and be the enforcer. This allows me to be a better mom in the long run because I’m not so worn out. And I appreciate not having to be the “bad guy” all the time.
  • My husband is super detailed with his career. With the children, not so much. I, however, am quite structured with home-life, and this allows everyone to be fed and clothed everyday.
  • When one of us is having a bad attitude day, the other one goes into nice-guy mode. We have even been known to tell the other, “I’m in a crappy mood today, I need you to take over.” Rarely have we both been nasty at the same time. Thankfully.

Encouragement. All of us need a pat on the back from time to time. In the trenches of parenting, we need this often.

What this looks like for us…

  • Simply saying, “You are such a good dad” goes a long way. And when there are specific attributes that he shows, I point those out as well.
  • I can never say “thank you” enough to my husband. Knowing that his sacrifices are appreciated is an encouragement and motivator to continue all the work he does for our family.

Your turn…

In what ways do you support your husband to be a strong, loving father? I would love to hear your thoughts!

xoxo

father

Expect Nothing, Gain Everything

Love, Parent, Stay Sane

My husband had (at least) two expectations that were not met when we got married. He thought I was going to make sweet tea everyday. And he thought we would fall asleep snuggling at night. He was disappointed.

Having expectations is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s kind of like having a goal. It’s something to work for and strive to attain. Without goals we would become complacent and stagnate. Some expectations, however, can rob us of enjoying what we have, and who we are with. It can discourage our souls and cause relationships to crumble. Let’s look at three areas expectations can cause disappointment…

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Expectations of Others

Problems arise when:

  1. The expectations are not communicated
  2. The expectations are unrealistic

Spouse:

As a woman I possess the power to read my husband’s mind and completely understand what he is needing at any given moment. Or, maybe not. So why do I expect him to read mine? Why do I expect him to know that I need something done around the house if I haven’t asked him to do it? Why do I expect him to know that I am struggling with fear if I don’t share with him?

There have been many times when he has “read my mind” and did exactly what I was hoping he would do. If I would remove my expectations, then instead of feeling frustrated when they are not met, I would feel cared for when they were. I don’t want my spouse to meet my expectations due to the fear of what will happen if he doesn’t. Rather I want him to meet them so that it will bless me when he does.

I also have learned am learning that I cannot expect my husband to be someone that he was not created to be. He is calm, level-headed, and steady (and praise the Lord that he is). I, on the other hand, am not. So when I am getting worked up about something and getting frustrated with him that he is not getting worked up, I am not being fair. I am expecting him to suddenly be a different person (but seriously, isn’t that so maddening when you’re upset about something and the other person just sits there so calm!).

Children:

For some reason I feel like my nearly 8 year old and 4 year old should have their acts together by now. Logically I know this is ridiculous, but my frustrations would show otherwise. I feel like I should only have to tell them one time to stop rubbing their hands on the wall, or to wash their hands before eating, or to give the dog food AND water, or pick up toys before bed, or… If it is unrealistic to expect my husband to know what I want, how can I expect this from my children. Of course, I don’t have to tell my husband to wash his hands, but for now I do need to tell my 4 year old. My 4 year old: I have to Tell. Him. Everything. He’s four. My 8 year old, I give hints. “What do you need to do before bed…?” And give him a chance to realize he needs to put his 4 million Lego’s away.

I’m still learning who my children are. I’m learning that my oldest may be super competitive with his brother, but not with friends. I want him to be competitive with sports, because he has the talent and that’s “what you’re suppose to do.” We keep putting him in sports and I keep getting frustrated that he is not aggressive enough. I’ve had a lightbulb moment. I’m trying to make him be someone he is not. And the thing is, I like who he is. He is sweet, and compassionate, and friendly.

 

Expectations of Ourselves

Problems arise when:

  1. We are expecting ourselves to be someone we are not
  2. We are expecting to achieve something unrealistic, and/or in an unrealistic time frame

I love to have dance parties. At home. With my children. I have always loved dancing. I have always danced badly. Thankfully, ever since college, this has not bothered me and I have accepted that I can’t dance and it doesn’t stop me from still enjoying myself. But when I was in middle school this was heartbreaking. I tried out for the dance team. Twice. Got cut on the the first go round. Twice. This is alright, I’m not scarred. But I did have to learn and accept the fact that this knobby knee’d girl looks awkward even doing the electric slide. After accepting this I was able to find a new love, running. And I still love it.

It’s also harmful to expect too much from ourselves within certain time restraints. I was naturally a good runner, but when it came to competing I expected too much too soon. My first race was 1500M (just shy of a mile) on in indoor track. I actually envisioned myself winning. Ended up I got lapped. I was expecting too much (and maybe a tad unrealistic) too soon.

After years of training I ended up running at a fairly competitive level. But I never “won gold.” And I was ok with that. There is ALWAYS somebody faster, smarter, wealthier. The most we can expect is our best. As long as we are doing that, we are good.

 

Expectations of Situations

Problems arise when:

  1. We try to control outcomes
  2. We depend on those outcomes

So many things are out of my control: taxes, weather, jobs, other people. And if I try to control those things I will end up living a life that leaves me feeling completely disappointed. There is nothing wrong with feeling disappointed when bad things happen. But ideally we don’t stay in that place, and instead use it as an opportunity.

My husband and I were married 15 years ago on a Friday. It just happened to be the 13th. As the ceremony was about to begin, I could hear people whispering around me in the room I was waiting in. Stress was rising. My sister-in-law came to me and said, “Remember what I said earlier about today being just a ceremony and that it’s your marriage that matters? And that there is bound to be something that will go wrong? Well, your florist thought the wedding was tomorrow. You have no flowers.” So I walked down the aisle holding tight to my dad with both arms. I rocked the no-flowers thing. People thought we did it on purpose.

It’s fine to plan and prepare, but then let go and remember what the main purpose is.

 

To Sum It Up…

 

Life would be more peaceful if we could live without unrealistic expectations. Even so, do expect to have expectations and remember it’s alright to “mess up.” That’s why we get to start over the next day.

Want some marital advice? Expect nothing.

Want some parenting advice? Expect nothing.

Want some how-to-enjoy-life-more advice? Expect nothing.

Expect nothing, and gain everything.

 

xoxo

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