Our attempts of self-protection only lead to further damage. Jesus is trustworthy. We can come to Him with open hands and all of our broken pieces.
About a year ago, I was at a ladies event one evening put on by my church. My church puts them together 2-3 times a year and covers a different topic each time. This particular time the topic was prayer. I don’t know about you, but I certainly do not have prayer mastered. I greatly looked forward to the evening (sans kids too…yay).
Prayer is a rather broad topic, so I wasn’t exactly sure what God was going to use that evening for. I just knew He would meet me where I was. He kept that promise in ways I never saw coming.
The Throne Room
There were two ladies leading the teaching time. As they opened the gathering, they reminded all of us there of God’s invitation to pray. He is listening and wants us to come to Him. He invites us into the very throne room of God.
Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:14-16, ESV
One of the ladies shared with us what she envisions when she is welcomed by God to pray and share her heart with Him, her Abba Father. She considers how big God is, her Father who sustains the universe with His power. Then she enters into His presence dirty yet unafraid, and He pulls her up onto His lap. She is His daughter after all. He, the very one who holds in the earth in its place and knows the name of each star, wants to hear the heart of His daughter. Seeing His power while knowing His goodness, she pours out her heart to Him, and He listens, cares, and loves her.
It was powerful imagery to me.
Trustworthy with Our Broken Pieces
It brought to life these truths I know in my head but struggle with in my heart. You see, I’m a thinker, and I was thinking about this whole mosaic perspective of healing leading up to this prayer gathering. As I did, I also recognized that I am not a passive party in this artistic pursuit. God is the Master Artist, the One who sees the beauty among the shards of all that is broken. But I often times find myself clutching the pieces tightly in my hands, absolutely terrified of giving Him the pieces to work with.
You see, holding all the broken pieces of me in my hands feels like safety. I believe the lie that even though it’s all broken, if I’m the one holding it, I can’t be hurt by it anymore. So I hold them, hands tightly closed, and can feel them hurting me, all those sharp edges digging in as I squeeze them. My attempt at self-protection only causes more hurt as I clutch my hands, unwilling to open them to the One who redeems all the shards that cut me.
My attempt at self-protection only causes more hurt as I clutch my hands, unwilling to open them... Click To Tweet
Trustworthy with Our Open Hands
So in this scene, coming before my Abba, I see it differently than my sister in Christ shared with those of us at that gathering. When it was me in that picture, I was entering the throne room dirty and bloody with fists clenched. I haven’t figured out the fearless thing; so I cower, mostly with shame, while He looks at my hands and takes them gently in His. You know… The hands that bear the scars of the depths of His love for me. The ones that remind me He understands. The ones that were pierced so my broken pieces could be made new.
He holds my bloody hands in His. He lifts my head having already taken the shame I can’t yet shake. He looks me in the eyes with love, and He asks me to trust Him. When I remember who He is and His character, I know He is trustworthy.
Yet I often find myself like my own kids who come to me with scraped up hands sometimes. When they fear the cleaning of the wound will be too painful, they hesitate. I assure them I can only help them if they open their hands and let me see the wounds. I see in me the same hesitation as I fear the pain involved in cleaning the wounds of these broken shards I hold.
Wavering between opening my hands and closing them once more. I must remind myself daily of who God is, of His faithfulness and goodness. And in faith, open my hands once more trusting He will meet me in each broken piece as He heals the broken and makes a mosaic.
Your turn…
I know I am not the only one who holds brokenness in my hands. I’m not the only one who fights between fear that says, “hold on tight” and faith that says, “open your hands to your Father who cares for you.”
What brokenness are you holding today, dear sister?
What are you afraid to open up and take with confidence to the throne of grace?
Go, beloved daughter, and enter the throne room, dirty yet unafraid, to sit with your Father who loves you. Remember that the hands pierced by nails for your healing gently cradles the bloody hands you bring to Him.
All of us have experienced brokenness, but that is not where the story ends. Broken, but God… has redeemed me.
If you have found this inspiring, share the encouragement…
Yes, there are shards of my broken-ness that I keep picking back up and squeezing, when I should have left it with our Savior Father. Thank you for this nice reminder. I will try to remember and apply…..
Yes! We fear the cleansing of the wound will be too painful, don’t we? So much truth here. Thank you!
How often the cleansing does, indeed, hurt too. But our Father loves us and knows the pain is a temporary necessity to bring the healing He has for us. Thankful we are not alone in the pain when the cleansing hurts too. He holds us in that and brings us to the other side.
I’m weeping. Thank you for the reminder that He holds my broken pieces in His nail-pierced hands.
I don’t know the broken pieces you hold, but our Father does. I am joining you on His lap, in the throne room, as He hears the hearts of His daughters.
So powerful! Yes, I waver between opening my hands and closing them sometimes. Reminding my heart of God’s complete faithfulness not only to others but to how faithful He has been to our family helps me open my hands back up to be lead wherever He wants to take us.
Love this! We are all broken! If nothing is broken, God has nothing to heal – and He loves healing!