Today I completed my 17th marathon. My husband says it’s no longer impressive. He was joking, of course. Well, he better be. It’s definitely not as big of a deal as it use to be, and I understand that.
I ran my first marathon the spring after my mother passed away. It had been a goal of mine for a couple of years, but kept eluding me due to injuries. Training for it was therapy for me in an otherwise dark time in my life. As I crossed the finish line, I knew I would be soon be training for another, and next time I would be training to qualify for the Boston Marathon. Not just anyone can run Boston. You can either run for a charity and raise money, or you have to have a qualifying time. This is why so many runners strive for Boston, it’s all about bragging rights and a sense of accomplishment.
I did qualify for Boston, but barely. And I did run it, but it still wasn’t enough. Now I wanted to run a marathon in every state, and beat my qualifying time. Which I did, but it still didn’t satisfy me. I wanted to run yet a faster marathon. It took me another 9 years to beat that best time. And that qualifying time for Boston? Yeah, they made it more difficult. My “good enough” time is no longer good enough.
All is vanity…
This is life. Our desire for more or better is unrelenting. There will always be someone faster, someone with more experience, someone who is prettier, skinnier, more polished. Or someone who is kinder, more generous, more patient. We feel the need to strive to be better, or different.
In our age of social media, this temptation to compare ourselves with others is in our face constantly. I see the things other women are doing, and the accomplishments they have had, and I feel like I need to step up my game. I crave the approval of others, the reassurance that I am good enough.
In Ecclesiastes, Solomon tells us repeatedly, “All is vanity, and a striving after the wind.”
I have to be honest with you. On our own, we are not enough. We will never be good enough or do enough good deeds to obtain God’s favor.
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ — by grace you have been saved — and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:4-10 ESV, emphasis mine
There is nothing that we can do to become more in His eyes. We are His work, and if we have indeed been redeemed, then the work has been done. We don’t need to work on making ourselves better, we are only to glorify Him for the work that he has already done. For us to wish to be different is an insult to Him and His work. It’s us saying that He made a mistake.
This doesn’t mean we can become complacent. Not all striving is bad. We need to strive to become more like Jesus. He is the One who is changing our hearts. Striving for Him is what will make us a better wife, mother, friend. Better, not different.
God created me to be passionate, to be someone who wakes up early in the day with a drive to accomplish things just out of my reach. He created me to love running. He created me to cry at sappy commercials. He even created my loud laugh.
But, He did not create me to be controlled by my passions, or to become consumed by projects to the point of neglecting other important things. He gave me running as a way to worship, but not to worship running. I am not to let my emotions hinder my ability to care for others, or to allow them to hurt others. And my laugh, well, that’s just how it is!
When hearing those voices in your head telling you that you are wrong for being who you are, thank the Lord for making you who are, and for wisdom to know how to best use them to serve Him.
Thank you for making me analytical.
Thank you for making me emotional.
Thank you for making me passionate.
Thank you for making me.
Striving, but God… says I’m enough.
