So Much For Simplicity

I was so excited for this summer. People would be talking about the vacations they were going to be taking, and I would just smile serenely. When asked what our family had planned, I would respond with a gleeful, “Nothing. We are doing absolutely nothing.” No trips, no camps, no commitments.

Everything was going so well. We played board game after board game. We watched movies. We played outside. We had multiple practical jokes with Mr. Handy Hand (I love a good practical joke). We built cardboard forts. All so gloriously simple.

And then…the simplicity was all gone. My husband called me from work, and I knew that it was the call I was hoping wouldn’t come. He got a promotion that requires us to move.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m super pumped about the promotion. He continues to impress me, and I love feeling proud of him. We knew that this was a possibility since the end of May, but we had decided that it would be just fine if he didn’t get it, since getting it would require moving to yet another state. We love it where we are. It became home for us right away, and our roots grew deep quickly here. So when I answered the phone that day and he told me the news, I responded with, “Well crap.” And proceeded to cry for the rest of the afternoon.

Now I am completely frantic. Trying to get a house ready to sell is stressful. Trying to do that with three children, while growing a business, and homeschooling, and planning a birthday party, is torture. And this is in addition to trying to find a place to live in a new city that we know nothing about. I have had several meltdowns and a couple full-blown temper tantrums over the past 3 weeks. Never a pretty sight, but especially not on a grown woman. Thankfully these were in the privacy of my own home, and I can somewhat laugh about it now. Someone asked me if I felt better after throwing a fit. Honestly, I did.

I had been feeling guilty and shameful about my behavior. I wanted to be this calm, have-it-all-together woman that never got frazzled even though I am going through an incredibly stressful and sad time in my life. In other words, I wanted to be someone other than me. God created me to be passionate (hyper/spastic/emotional). It’s ok to feel these strong emotions. It’s ok to be who I was created to be.

But…

I also need to be wise. There are things I can do to get through this process without damaging myself, my family, or others around me.

I need to…

Know when to say no. I do not have to accept every invitation. I may want to, but that may cause more stress than relieve it. I can combine some things, or some things can simply wait.

Eliminate any unnecessary stresses. This is not the time to add new things to my plate. And there are certain things I can put off until after the move.

Limit who I talk to. I do not need to vent my concerns to everyone. The people I share with are ones that will not condemn me for feeling stressed. They are the ones I can be real with, the ones that will let me overreact, will pray for me, and then maybe get me a glass of wine.

I love the idea of living with simplicity, but sometimes that is just not realistic. Sometimes we are required to get uncomfortable and a tad bit frazzled. Thankfully, and hopefully, this is a season of life that is short-term. One day I will look back and hardly remember the franticness that is currently consuming me. One day…

But for now, I must go clean for the tenth time this week, pack a few hundred boxes, and make a dozen phone calls.

xoxo