When we give the Lord the reins to our life, we relinquish control. And as we let go, He leads and guides us into His blessings.
Sometimes, when I pause and consider my life, I am amazed at how the Lord has blessed me. It definitely has not always been this good. But the more that I’ve relinquished control over the reins of my life, the more the Lord has given me a life seemingly tailor-made just for me. The blessings that flow from Him are incredible.
The Blessings
I have a loving husband whose heart is inclined toward Jesus. Over the years, I’ve seen the Lord do a tremendous work in his heart. Today, he is truly the man I always hoped I would get to walk through this life with. We are blessed with two beautiful children. They are caring, healthy, smart, curious, and uniquely talented.
Then there are the ways in which the Lord has healed my mental and physical health, giving me abundant energy and the ability to physically do the things I desire. And that’s not to mention the creative pursuits I get to be a part of: writing for this blog, making jewelry as a tool for ministry, singing and making music with my husband and worship team at our wonderful church, creating yummy, healthy recipes, and making our house a cozy home where peace and beauty rest.
But it hasn’t always been this way…
I Hated My Own Life
For many years, I honestly hated my own life. Riddled with depression and anxiety, I could not imagine a time when I would want to live–much less a time when I would feel so blessed in so many ways! But despite my many blunderings and missteps, the Lord has guided me to this pleasant place.
A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.
Proverbs 16:9
Handing Over the Reins
I’m so appreciative of, and humbled by the life I am getting to live. It is not always perfect, but it is good. And I know who gave me this wonderful life. It’s not of my own making. I’m living a blessed life because about a decade ago, I handed the reins of my life over to Jesus Christ.
For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13
The Lord has been leading and guiding me since before I was even born. But for so many years, I was fighting against who He was and who He wanted to be in my life. I was striving to maintain control over my own path. And He let me exercise my free will. I jerked away from Him to try to find my own way. But my road was paved with regret, shame, selfish ambition, anger and the like. I was literally heading for destruction in the form of depression and suicide.
Only Part of the Picture
Still holding onto anger and rebellion against the version of Jesus that my mom had exposed me to, I could not trust that Jesus truly was who the Bible says He is. In a nutshell, I was raised in a very isolated, strict, fundamentalist, religious atmosphere…
My mom was trying desperately to hold fast to all of the “rules” of the Bible. So, an intimate relationship with Jesus was not her priority. A carryover from her wounded past as an orphan was the belief that if you don’t follow the strict rules, your life will literally be in danger. Outside of the rules, severe punishment awaited.
Biblically, there is some truth to this notion of the rules–outside of God’s grace and mercy, we really aren’t safe or protected from evil. But that’s only part of the picture that the Bible offers. It’s as if my mom had only torn out the pages about fear. About the fire and the brimstone. And that partial picture is what she revealed to me and my siblings.
Somehow, the loving invitation of the gospel–the parts about Jesus’ love and grace and mercy–were on pages that had gone missing. Sadly, Mom missed the invitation that so many believers miss. The invitation to trust that we are loved by a good Abba; a good daddy who leads and guides us perfectly if we’ll trust Him.
Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?
Romans 2:4
Gathering Up the Shards
When I was out from under my mom’s authority, no longer hitched to her wagon so to speak, I ran as far and as fast as I could. Away from anything that smacked of Jesus, the Bible, or Christianity. With unbridled determination, I grabbed the reins to my own life. Thinking I could mold it, shape it, and ultimately force it into what I wanted it to be, I forged ahead.
But no amount of ambition, perfectionism, self-sufficiency, and determination could save me from the wall I was about to hit. And I thank God that He let me hit that wall. Because when I broke into a million pieces, Jesus was there, lovingly gathering up the shards and putting them back together again. He was refashioning them into something beautiful. Into the Hope that He had known all along.
He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3
Reined in by Love
I’ve learned to relinquish the reins through seasons of both hope and despair. And through it all, I’m learning that I am the most loved, protected, and at peace when I rest in the security of my Father’s love. When life is hard or scary, and I don’t know what to do, I can run to His loving arms. He has reined me in with His love.
When we learn to relinquish the reins of control, we can find rest in the security of God's love. When life is hard or scary, and we don't know what to do, we can run to His loving arms. He reins us in with His love. Click To Tweet
Today, I’m happier and more fulfilled than I’ve ever been. And I know that He has even better things in store for me in the years to come. But none of this would have been possible if I had held fast to the reins of my own life. When we relinquish control to God, He sets us free. Yes, beloved, we lose control over our lives, but the path is smoother, and the blessings far greater when we are trusting Him!
He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
Matthew 10:39
Are you still holding onto the reins in a certain area of your life? Have you experienced the reining in of His love?
