We wonder if people are proud of us and our accomplishments. Are we doing enough? We CAN live with this confidence of approval…
But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners.
Romans 4:5, NLT
As I have mentioned before, my little girl is the sunshine in my life; but she is also my thunderstorm. Some of this is her age, some of it is her personality, and some of it is that she is just like me. One night, after an emotionally exhausting day of parenting, we were having a much needed time of snuggling. Snuggling always seems to redeem the day’s shortcomings. While snuggling I prayed this over her…
Lord, Thank you for Lena, for the joy she is in my life. Give me wisdom on how to best guide her and direct her. I pray she comes to know you at an early age. I pray she knows the strengths you have given her and wisdom to know how to use them confidently. And I pray she is aware of the weaknesses she has so that she will be dependent on you.
As we continued to embrace and rock in the rocking chair, I began to reflect on my relationship with my mom. My mom was determined, and passionate, and fought hard for those she loved. The older I get, and the older my children get, my admiration for her – and for the mother she was – continues to swell.
However, I had seasons of life where I felt I needed more from her. Mainly, I was never quite sure if she was proud of me. She seemed to always compliment my siblings, but never me. My sister was so smart and beautiful (she was and is). My brother was so giving and generous (he was and is). And my other brother was such a hard worker with strong character (he was and is). So who was I?
Being the youngest, and wanting so badly to have the approval of my family, I was constantly striving to prove myself. I want to be all those traits of my siblings. Keeping up with them and their accomplishments pushed me to work hard. And I loved (and still love) working hard. But I never heard the words.
Proud…
When my mom died, my husband and I were living in Atlanta, and we did not make it home in time to say goodbye. We drove back to Kentucky with heavy, sorrow-filled hearts. Pulling up to my parents home, with all my siblings and my dad there, my mind couldn’t grasp the reality that she was gone. I fell into my dad’s embrace, and the first words he said to me was, “Your mom was so proud of you.”
He has no idea what impact those words have had on me. After talking about this with my siblings, it turns out that this was just how mom operated. Turns out, she was complimenting me, but not to me. And she was complimenting them, but not to them. I really do not know why this was the case, but I know she had her own set of issues to work through with her own parents.
Not to sound completely pessimistic, but no one escapes childhood without some sort of issue. Yes, some are more extreme than others, but we were all raised by imperfect parents and all have had to deal with their shortcomings. I know mine will. Setting up a fund for them so they can pay for counseling later in life is not such a bad idea.
After reflecting on my childhood, I said to my little girl…
You will do mighty things. I hope I can embrace the roller coaster journey of your life. You will be fun to watch, and emotionally exhausting. Know that I will always be proud of you, but also know that that will not be enough for you. My approval of you will never be enough. You will only find that in Jesus. He is the only thing that will fulfill you.
Three Keys…
This journey to finding and truly accepting that our approval comes from the Lord, is a long one. So many weeds of doubt, and deception, and despair have to be pulled out. We try to get away with simply cutting them down, and this can be a fix for the short-term, but they will just keep coming back.
Recognize the doubt. Life has all of us so busy, that we rarely take the time to stop and think. Or perhaps it is because it is just too painful to think, so we live life reacting to the circumstances around us. If we can pinpoint what the source is, then we can see the enemy we are fighting is most likely not the person we are in “combat” with.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 6:12, ESV
Fight the deception. Positive affirmations can help, but only God’s word will truly dig out the root. With our culture of quick fixes, it is tempting to give up when we don’t see progress immediately. We want to go back to the temporary fix. Consistently learning who God is, and who He says we are, will give us true confidence.
May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24, NIV
Replace the despair. Rejoice in who God created each of us to be! We are all unique, with our unique gifts. God is so creative. We do not need to strive to be like someone else, we are free to be ourselves! And He absolutely approves of us.
Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Philippians 4:8, NLT
Where are you on the journey? Do you ever wonder if the Lord approves of you?
This journey to finding and truly accepting that our approval comes from the Lord, is a long one. So many weeds of doubt, and deception, and despair have to be pulled out. Click To Tweet
