Stay Sane

shelter, safe, friendship, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Shelter: Allowing God to Teach Us How to Be Safe People

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 12, 2018January 13, 2019

The world is full of unsafe people, but God urges His children to be the safety. A person who will love and shelter, even in the presence of an insecure relationship.

Safe…who or what comes to your mind when you read that word?

I know I should say JESUS, but I immediately think of my husband. He was my first safe person. Reflecting back on my childhood I think of my room – it felt safe when the rest of my home did not. My mom focused on our weaknesses rather than admitting her own, so disapproval rang loudly among us. I spent a lot of time in my room. Did you have a safe place?

Recognizing Unsafe People

Unsafe people do not like to admit their weaknesses.

By age 11, Jesus was already whispering my name. I wanted to ‘join the church,’ which meant baptism in our denomination. Mom took my brother and I every Sunday and was happy for us to be baptized, (she forced my older brother to join me).

Unsafe people are religious instead of relational.

Mom was threatened by every friend I ever had. As a result, she criticized and found fault with each one. Therefore, I learned not to bring friends home. Eventually, I learned not to make close friends at all.

Unsafe people are self-righteous instead of humble. They see themselves above everyone else and refuse to see their own negative qualities.

By the grace and mercy of God, at the age of 13, I was invited to a church with a large youth group. They drew me in with their joy and the leaders loved me as much as I would allow. The other kids accepted me. In time, I learned that Jesus and His church could be a safe place. For decades, that church sheltered me and my own precious family. Then, like baby birds, we had to learn to fly alone with Jesus, trusting Him to be our refuge (Psalm 46:1) instead of depending on men, whose feet, we discovered, were clay.

Unsafe people demand trust instead of earning it. Unsafe people lie. Unsafe people are defensive.

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24, NIV

Safe People Don’t Condemn

Sadly, it usually takes many years of God’s declaration of NO CONDEMNATION over our lives before we feel safe in His love, safe in His strong arms of acceptance.

But as Ann Voskamp says so eloquently in her book, The Way of Abundance: “There is always more grace in Christ than there is guilt in us.”

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

Romans 8:1-2, NIV

As we learn that God, in His vast mercy, doesn’t condemn us, we come to realize that we don’t need to condemn, either. And when we do, we repent and find forgiveness.

As we learn that God, in His vast mercy, doesn't condemn us, we come to realize that we don't need to condemn, either. And when we do, we repent and find forgiveness. Click To Tweet

Love Bears All Things

Finding safe people with whom to be in relationship is critical to emotional and spiritual health. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend first wrote about this in 1995 in their book, Safe People. Their work continues to be utilized by Christian therapists today, and variations of it are used by therapists worldwide, especially those who work with domestic abuse victims.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 provides a model for us to follow in order to become the safe havens which are needed in this unsafe world. Most of us have read these verses dozens of times, perhaps even memorized them. Applying this passage to daily life proves more difficult. In fact, I struggle with each single verse! Verse 7 alone requires perseverance.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I Corinthians 13:7, ESV

Or as one theologian explained, the Greek usage indicates: keeps bearing, keeps believing, keeps hoping, keeps enduring. We don’t get to stop bearing, believing, hoping, or enduring after one, four, or fifty people. We keep on keeping on loving…like Jesus does because His Spirit lives within us.

Stego: Shelter

However, I stumble over ‘bears all things,’ mainly because I pictured it as being some stalwart, meek Puritan woman who keeps her head down and guts life out. Although I tried on the Church Lady “M.O.” from my 20’s to early 40’s, it just didn’t fit! Do you know what I mean?

But my image couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Love bears all things. “To bear,” isn’t a grimacing Puritan. In the Greek, “to bear,” stego, means to protect or keep by covering…as a roof.

Imagine being inside your home during a loud thunderstorm. Rain is pounding on the roof like marching band drums. Lightening is flashing and thunder booming as though fireworks are being set off all around you. The wind is blowing the tree limbs over to smack the ground…

Not to fear, however; you’re safe inside, warm and protected. This is love that bears. It provides shelter, a roof during the storms of life. Usually, people looking for safe are simply asking, “Will you love me? Will you love me as I really am?” Ann Voskamp said:

Real love is a roof. Real love makes you into a shelter, real love makes you into a safe place. Real love makes you safe.

Before we can become a safe shelter for someone else, we must learn to receive the grace God offers moment by moment, day by day. By daily breathing in His grace, forgiveness and mercy, we gradually learn to become vulnerable to Him…and then to others. Ever so slowly, as the shattered heart heals, we become open, poured out, and welcoming to other broken hearts.

We become stego for others.

balance, healing, body, spirit, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Balance: Experiencing Healing in Body, Soul, and Spirit

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 10, 2018June 23, 2019

When we seek God’s healing, we find balance in our body, soul, and spirit. He gives us the wisdom for how to achieve this balance long term.

I’m in my final week of a six-week dietary reset. It’s been a bit of a battle, but most of the fighting happened before I even began. Before I created my first new healthy recipe or popped the first natural supplement, I had already done the majority of the fighting.

You see, the battle was raging in my mind and body, and they were at war with my spirit. I knew in my spirit that something was out of balance. But my mind and body had begun to lean in and listen to this lie of the enemy: “Sickness and exhaustion are just your new normal.”

I was struggling with severe digestive problems, fatigue, brain fog, and the list goes on. But I thought: “Well, I’m nearing forty and have had two kids. So, I guess this is just how I’m bound to look and feel at this age.” What a lie that was! How good God is! And what a difference six disciplined weeks have made!

The World’s View vs. God’s Will…

Picture your average cooking show where they’re making some gooey cheesy fettuccini alfredo. The show is interrupted by a commercial for delayed-release antacids to fight heartburn and acid reflux. The irony is so obvious, but it’s as if we’ve forgotten how directly linked all of this is.

The world tells us it’s normal to always feel sick and tired. There are pills for these things, right?! The world suggests that the standard American diet is fine as long as we try to make relatively healthy choices. And when we’re sick and don’t know why the world offers us the latest prescription drug to help slow the symptoms.

But, the Holy Spirit began to invite me to change channels. To flip my thinking from sickness to wholeness. To believe that deeper healing is possible and to begin to pursue it. Ultimately, the Holy Spirit has helped me change my view of health from the world’s view to God’s will:

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Romans 12:2

And it is not God’s will for us to feel terrible all the time. His desire is for us to be healthy. To feel whole. For our bodies to function as the perfect creations that He made.

O Taste and See???

Before I embarked on this healing adventure, I learned that I would not be able to have coffee, sugar, dairy or a whole host of other staples in my diet. As I looked over the “approved” foods list, in my natural mind, I kind of freaked out. How on earth was I going to function!?

I was reminded of a bit by the stand-up comedian, Brian Regan, which is all about food. In it, he describes leaving his doctor’s office to the tune of “Oh, and by the way, try to lay off the dairy.” And he’s like, “What? That’s like saying, ‘Oh, and by the way, No more happiness!'” That’s about how I felt. What was I supposed to eat? How would I function? Doesn’t scripture say:

O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.

Psalm 34:8

This felt like the opposite of that. Like, ‘man barely scrapes by on a few gnarly nuts, seeds, and roughage.’

Before I Began to Heal…

Before I began to heal, after every meal, my stomach was so achy and bloated that I had to lie down to get it to calm down. The nausea was incapacitating. Now I can eat and digest and go on about my day. Before I began to change my eating, I opted for cookies with artificial flavoring and high fructose corn syrup, which had thrown my taste buds all out of whack. But now that I’ve broken my sugar addiction, I’m beginning to truly taste and see that the Lord is good. I mean, He created fruit, and praise God, it tastes sweet again! It’s like nature’s candy.

Prior to this process, I was sort of walking around in a mental haze. I didn’t have clarity in my thoughts, and I was experiencing what has been termed ‘brain fog’. Clear headed now, I’m actually able to tackle all the things I have to accomplish in a day’s time for a busy household.

One of the biggest surprises has been the fact that without any caffeine or sugar, I now have more energy than I’ve had in years. I’m up by 6:15 am, in bed by 10 pm, and I’m not tired and sluggish throughout the day. And then there’s the added bonus that I’ve lost ten pounds, and my skin has completely cleared up!

It’s All Connected…

So, you might be saying:

“Wow. That’s great. Good for you. I’m glad your new diet is working out. But why does any of this matter on a spiritual level?”

To put it the same way that folks have for centuries: it matters because it’s all connected. Our body, our soul, and our spirit are connected to one another. And when one isn’t working properly, it throws our balance out of whack. And when we’re unbalanced, we can’t walk steadily in our full potential. In the health and wholeness that the Lord has provided for His children.

Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.

3 John 1:2

Our body, our soul, and our spirit are connected to one another. And when one isn't working properly, it throws our balance out of whack. Click To Tweet

Wisdom for Healing…

Sometimes the Lord heals us supernaturally. Other times, He gives us wisdom for how to heal ourselves. And He has provided so many things in nature that we can use to heal. So whether it’s a physical health issue, a mental health battle, or a spiritual struggle, we can ask Him to give us His divine wisdom for how to heal from it. And He is faithful to answer us.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

James 1:5

Finding Balance Long-term…

Had He healed me instantly with His divine power, obviously, that would have been wonderful and amazing. However, I believe the Lord had something even better in mind as He showed me how to heal myself. He is teaching me how to sustain a healthy balance, long-term. And although this new healthy eating regimen has helped tremendously, it’s not all about what I’m choosing to eat or not to eat.

The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment.

Luke 12:23

Yes, he wants us to eat healthy. But He also wants us to think good, wholesome thoughts, to speak words that give life. To fill ourselves up with the daily bread of His Word. Living balanced essentially means to have Christ in the center of it all. The hub in the middle of the wheel. When we firmly root ourselves in God, He shows us how to stay balanced on the narrow path of faith.

Is there an area of your life where you feel out of whack? Are you getting a balanced daily diet of His daily bread?

All scripture references are from the KJV Bible.

silence, meditation, quiet, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Silence: Practicing Solitude to Truly Connect with the Lord

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 7, 2018January 13, 2019

God can truly speak to us through any means necessary. However, the practice of silence and solitude is the most effective way to truly connect and hear from the Lord.

But the Lord is in his holy Temple. Let all the earth be silent before him.

Habakkuk 2:20, NLT

There’s been a running theme in our devotionals lately: breathe. Deep breath in, deep breath out. In fact, I can count 10 times this week alone that someone has said this to me. Granted, it was during x-rays, doctor visits, and other health scans. But, I also found myself just trying to calm my nerves with this technique.

I take a lot of deep breaths when I find myself in social situations. No matter how much I love those around me, my brain has a hard time with 3 different conversations, the kids playing, the TV going. Noise. There I go, retreating to the restroom for some silence.

It’s not to be taken personally by my friends or family. It’s just a quirk that will, most likely, never change. Even so, I often ask why I need to take so many deep breaths in a day. Why is this my reality?

Noises of Life

Que: knock, knock, knock. “Mommy are you in there? I’m hungry. I want a snack.”

I’m a wife, a mom, a homemaker, a partner in ministry. All of these labels take up most, if not all, of my daily time and energy. The sounds of the dishwasher running, phone conversations, children’s programs on the TV, instrumental music in my ear-buds all distract my mind and soul from complete silence.

My fellas don’t understand it now, but their noises of life wear me out. I live with a sweet four-year-old boy who makes around 5,987 different sounds in a day. Seriously, as I am trying to write this devotional, a Stormtrooper has been placed beside my keyboard. But, not before the soundtrack of live-action battle. I also have a six-year-old who requires a confidence boost in the morning and reading practice at night. I won’t mention how old my husband is, but he also requires conversation and a loud television (I’m not mad about it, really).

These are not “bad” reasons for the lack of solitude with God. They are my main missions in life and I am thankful every day for these beautiful responsibilities. However, being pulled in so many different directions causes my “deep breath” issue. I feel out of oneness with my Creator…

But if you give yourself to the Lord, you and Christ are joined together as one person.

1 Corinthians 6:17, TLB

Importance of Solitude

As I mentioned before, I’m a partner in ministry. Little did I realize, when starting to write for Oh Lord Help Us, keeping inspiration meant more quiet time with the Lord. And I don’t mean quiet time in reading or studying, I mean it in a way of doing nothing. A meditation of sorts.

It makes sense. Pastors often use solitude and silence to connect and hear from the Lord. It’s important for them. They are teachers of the word of God, thus they need to continually access that direct line to the Father.

It’s no different for Christian writers. We are, in a way, teachers too. We write about God’s truth and it reaches more than just a brick and mortar building of people. People all over the world continue to connect with us. So, when I say even us writers need solitude and silence to hear from the Lord, it’s absolutely true.

Silence Killers

It’s hard to find complete solitude when the world is throwing so much at us. Many distractions kill our silence: watch this, read this, listen to this song. It’s not comfortable to be bored, anymore. When is the last time you sat in a waiting room without looking at your phone? Or drove the car in complete silence? How about just sitting, without anything happening, noise or video?

I’m not saying God cannot speak to us through any means necessary. In fact, He has had to in my life, because finding me in a still, quiet state is rare. Think of this, when we are speaking with a friend or spouse about our hearts, we truly want their attention. If they were, say, watching TV or looking at their phone, we would know they are half in it.

The same is true in our relationship with God. He wants to interact with us unattached, disconnected and surrendered. To sit in complete freedom from the world: responsibilities and other devotions, interaction with other people, completely unplugged from technology. Completely.

God wants to interact with us unattached, disconnected and surrendered. To sit in complete freedom from the world. Click To Tweet

The Example of Jesus

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

Luke 5:16, NIV

I often remind myself of Jesus’ example after feeding the 5000. He retreated to the mountain for solitude and prayer (Matthew 14:23). Now granted I’m only feeding 3 other mouths, but some days that’s a small miracle to me and I just want to retreat to the mountain of solitude with Jesus.

He had it right. He knew His work here on earth required a constant connection to the Father. So why would my Kingdom work require a different practice? If Jesus needed it, our humanity DEFINITELY needs a silent audience with God.

Let them sit alone in silence beneath the Lord’s demands.

Lamentations 3:28, NLT

Everyday Practice

Practice makes a habit. I have a feeling that practicing silence every day, will take care of my “deep breath” issue. Starting my day with solitude before the Lord will create effective, productive and calm Kingdom work. Deep breath in of the Spirit, heavy breath out of God’s truth.

create, creative, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

Create: Partnering with God to Bring Beauty and Life to the World

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 5, 2018January 13, 2019

You are made in the creative image of a wonderful Creator. He lovingly invites you to continually create with Him for His Kingdom!

Eighteen years old and on a high school mission trip in Washington State, my mind racing, trying to find peace. It had been a wonderful morning of leading VBS with a local church, but I felt out of place. Lost in the chaos and noise, a small insecure teenager, I couldn’t wrap my mind around my feelings. Why did I want to retreat? Why wasn’t my heart excited like my bubbly peers around me?

We went out to the beach for a fun afternoon. I had never been to the West Coast and was struck by the beauty of the charcoal colored jagged rock that trimmed the shore. I found a quiet place to myself, stuck my feet in the sand and began to pray. Right there, as I listened to the roar of the waves and buried my feet, I knew God was real.

Creation continues to astound me. I marvel at the changing color of leaves as our great oaks prepare for winter. I sit in awe at the sights and sounds of the outdoors. Birds chirping, branches blowing in the wind, squirrels racing up trees as bunnies bounce across the grass, under the canvas of orange and pink painting across the sky. And at the beach, I am undone! The roar of ocean waves, the sticky sand between my toes, the smells of salt water in the air all express the majesty of Jesus. From the tiniest ladybug to the largest mountain, I am continually drawn to my Creator as I observe the beauty of His handiwork.

All creation glorifies God.

Praise Him, highest heavens,
And the waters above the heavens!
Let them praise the name of the Lord,
For He commanded and they were created.

Psalm 148:4-5

Yes, all creation testifies to the beauty and majesty of our Maker. Every tree, mountain, star, octopus, lily, bumblebee and child magnifies The Lord. And you, yes you, show off His glory.

The Creator in You

There is a Swahili proverb that says, “The daughter of a lion is also a lion.” What does this mean for us? If our Father is the Creator, what does this make us? Creative.

Since the beginning of mankind, Jesus has invited us to create with Him. You, my friend, are made in the creative image of a wonderful Creator. He lovingly invites you to continually create with Him for His Kingdom!

In the beginning, God gave Adam three things to do, reproduce (Genesis 1:28), name the animals (Genesis 2:19) and cultivate the garden (Genesis 2:15). In every task, the Almighty God who created the universe with just a word, was letting man join Him in creating. God chose us to create with Him! He chose us to be His partners. You see, as Adam and Eve reproduced, they created life in Eve’s womb. As Adam spoke animal names, he created their identity. And, while he cultivated the garden, he created food and beauty.

You, my friend, are made in the creative image of a wonderful Creator. He lovingly invites you to continually create with Him for His Kingdom! Click To Tweet

Chosen to Create

This partnership did not stop with Adam and Eve.

Noah partnered with God to bring salvation to eight people and every kind of animal (Genesis 8).
Abraham bartered with God to rescue Lot from the burning city (Genesis 18:23 – 33).
Joseph worked with God to feed all of Egypt (Genesis 41 – 42).
Moses walked with God as he led a million slaves out of Egypt (Exodus 13).
Ezekiel spoke to the bones and the Breath of God and the dry bones lived (Ezekiel 37)!
Esther was God’s agent to bring justice to His people (Esther 1 – 10).
Jesus taught, healed the sick, cast out demons together with His disciples.
And Jesus used a little boy to provide lunch for over 5,000 people on a hillside one day (John 6).

Humans are still partners in creation. She creates hope, with God, with a spoken word of encouragement. With God, she creates beauty through paint, song and dance. She creates life and food, with God, in her garden. And as our best creation, when we conceive, God helps us make people, beautifully made in His image! There are no limits to what we can fashion with God.

Jesus loves creating together with us! He does not need us, but He wants us. He chooses to partner with us, even though we are flawed. It is an incredible miracle that we can join The Creator in creating life and beauty on earth!

When I sat on the beach that day as a high school student, I no longer felt out of place or ashamed. In the Presence of God, I felt chosen.

Called to Create

Your calling is not to simply observe the beauty of Jesus, but to jump in with Him to create more.

For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us].

Ephesians 2:10

God created us IN Christ Jesus FOR good works that He has already prepared. You are His masterpiece, and He has plans for you. He chooses YOU to demonstrate His glory, and He invites YOU to share His message, to further His Kingdom. He knows you, loves you and asks you to create with Him.

There is beauty in you! Unleash it. When we say yes to the partnership, God performs the miracle.

How can you create today?

All scripture references are from the AMP Bible.

moments, time, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentoring, ministry

Moments: Surrendering Our Time as God’s Instruments

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 3, 2018January 13, 2019

Surrendering our time to God is important. When we structure moments on being His instrument, we can find rest and assurance through God’s perfect design.

In relationships, I tend to say “yes” a lot. Does someone need a meal? I can deliver. Did someone lose their babysitter last minute? Bring your kids to me. You need me to do that extra administrative work? Done. If there is a sincere need and I am able, why would I not engage? The problem is, while all of those things are well-intentioned, the day to day obligations constantly get pushed to the end of the week and I am left with a mountain of responsibilities.

Under Pressure

Some people work well under pressure. Me, not so much. The general stress of life or feeling overwhelmed by all the tasks I have taken on, lead to me shutting down and ignoring my obligations. The task at hand will eventually get completed, so it can wait, right? This happens on a weekly basis, leading to things falling through the cracks. There have been many days when I have arrived at work only to realize I forgot my computer or some other pertinent item necessary for executing the day. It is not the end of the world, but neither is it a wise use of time or gasoline. When the pressure is on to complete a task, I feel irritable. As a result of my negligence, my family suffers, whether by my absence or my clipped responses when I am hurried to fulfill my obligations.

Moments Past

As a homeschooled child, once I had completed my work I would engage in imaginative play for hours. If I had chores to complete, my mother encouraged me to get chores out of the way so as to not have them hanging over my head. But as I recall, play always came first. It’s not unusual for children to choose play time over work. I definitely viewed work as a negative thing. My parents rightly believed schedule provided security for children. So each day, plans were laid out for my brothers and I. I dawdled and daydreamed through my homework every day. I was always the last to complete my lessons.

When I secured my first full-time job working in accounting everything was laid out for me with little room for error. I arrived early, completed my work, went home, made dinner and repeated the cycle the next day. That was a time in my life when organization was easier because my responsibilities were plainly stated. I knew what was expected of me and I prided myself as a reliable, hard worker.

Taking on More

When my husband and I started having children we chose for me to stay home with them. Organization grew dim with the second baby and after the third, survival mode kicked in and all semblance of order flew out the window. In the haze of financial strain, three children under six and no end in sight, I began seeking moments of comfort and rest wherever I could attain it. I escaped into books and movies. Or I would stay at friends’ or family’s houses for long periods of time.

As time has gone by, the kids have grown and the money isn’t as tight, but I continue to squander away my moments and put off tasks until the last minute. I receive high marks in my annual reviews at work. But what is the greatest area for improvement each year? Time management.

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12

Seeking Wisdom

Currently I am learning to live daily in light of eternity. When I don’t live with a gospel mindset, my day is my own and I forget that I have been bought with a price. I have attempted and failed on many occasions to organize my time with things like keeping a calendar and posting sticky-notes all over the house. These are not bad tools, and I totally still use them. However, my heart hasn’t changed through their usage. So ultimately neither have my actions.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Proverbs 19:21

When I give a poor performance I get frustrated. Letting people down wounds my pride! At times I haven’t even known what to pray. Do I ask God for deliverance? Or do I ask him to teach me or fix me or give me motivation? Thanks be to God, he knows exactly what I need and when I will have a right understanding. (Romans 8:26)

Spelled Out Plans

One of my favorite passages of Scripture has been Micah 6:8 because it gives specific instructions. All my life I have found solace in quick solutions. Micah proposes,

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8

For a long time I have sought to act objectively and compassionately toward those around me. Somehow, I thought that by performing those two initial charges it would equal the third of walking humbly with God. Yet I see how I have performed these tasks to my own fame and inflation, not for the glory of God.

Moments of Grace

God has humbled me by using my lack of discipline to teach me and speak tenderly to me. During some of my unanticipated extra moments on the road as a result of forgetfulness, the Father has reminded me of how small I am and how deeply loved I am as His adopted child. In His goodness, God tells me again that the struggles I face aren’t new, but I am to pray wholeheartedly with expectation to Jesus, who is able. When I feel stressed God points me to his Word.

And he said to them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

Luke 10:2

If it is to be, it is not up to me. It is His harvest. But God invites me as His child to be a part of the work He is doing.

If it is to be, it is not up to me. It is His harvest. But God invites me as His child to be a part of the work He is doing. Click To Tweet

Instruments for God

Ultimately, the most refreshing days are when I begin in the Word, receive direction from the Lord, and keep my mind focused all day on the truth that I am an instrument in the hand of a loving God. Understanding my purpose permits me to accomplish whatever lies ahead. It also gives me the freedom to rest, confident that my hope is in the finished work of Jesus Christ and my life is secure in Him. I can spend my time doing good according to God’s perfect design through the power of the Holy Spirit.

All scripture references come from the ESV Bible.

encouragement, judgmental, judgment, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, ministry

Encouragement: How to End the Judgment in Our Minds

Devotionals, Stay SaneAugust 30, 2018January 13, 2019

Judging other people and being judged destroys relationships. Here is how to end the judgment in our minds through encouragement.

We have all been there. We have been the one standing alone while others made snide comments and pointed and laughed (although it may just have been in our minds). And we have also been the one commenting and pointing and laughing (even if it has just been in our minds). Nobody wins. Everybody feels cruddy after the fact.

I’ve been there…

I found myself in this type of situation while my sons were at swim lessons. There is this a boy in my younger son’s class that is, how shall I say…very active. Now, I am no stranger to active little boys. I have boys, my friends have boys, I’m married to a man that used to be a boy. So I was not concerned with his activeness. I was concerned with how little regard this boy had for authority. Completely ignoring his mother, the teacher, and the lifeguard. This is scary to me because, hello! These are kids in water! The first couple weeks I was unconcerned, no judgement, just observation.

But then I crossed the line into judgement. The mom had told her son for the 14th time to put something away. Instead of obeying he threw a temper tantrum. And then… she gave in and handed it back to him. I’m so thankful that the pool area is loud and echo-y because a comment actually slipped out of my mouth. But then I felt like dirt.

Now, am I wrong to think she could have handled that differently? I don’t think so. But I was wrong to point (in my mind) and make a snide comment (in actuality). I don’t know this lady. I don’t know what her marriage is like. Or if she is even married. I don’t know what she deals with on a daily basis with her son. For all I know he has a disability. I do know that she was frustrated and probably could have used some encouragement.

At that moment I was not in the frame of mind to actually encourage her. But I did think of a dear friend who I know feels overwhelmed at times when dealing with her son. So I texted her a simple message of, “I just want you to know that I think you are a great mom.”

Judgment…

Confronting a fellow believer in love who is living in blatant sin is not judgement. That is compassion, caring about their spiritual health. Disagreeing with someone is not judgement. In our culture right now we are so concerned with not offending people that we are more afraid than ever to disagree, but have never been more judgmental.

Judgment is the condescending attitude of thinking other people should have it all together, when we clearly have our own set of issues. It is basing an opinion when we do not have all of the information. A quote by Stephen M.R. Covey, perfectly sums this up: “We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.”

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Matthew 7:1-2, NIV

Encouragement…

Instead, we are to encourage those around us. Whether it is someone we love, or a stranger, we can all use a bit of encouragement. And the areas we need the most encouragement are the areas we are weakest in. Which means, these areas are the most vulnerable to “judgement” because we are not doing them as well as we would like. To provide encouragement, we need to listen and to praise.

Listen

If we will learn to listen and try to understand people we will gain new insight. If we can assume the best of them, we can get beyond our judgmental thoughts, and extend grace. We are to leave the judging thing to The Lord since He’s the only one who truly knows our hearts anyway.

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

James 1:19-20, NIV

For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them?

1 Corinthians 2:11, NIV

Praise in faith

In faith, I want my son to be a hard worker; so I praise him for being a hard worker. People are likely to become who they are told they will become. If we want someone to be a good mom and for them to feel that they are, then we are to tell them they are. If we want our spouse to be more involved/compassionate/etc., then we need to compliment them on doing those things.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Philippians 2:3-4, NIV

…we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ…

Ephesians 4:15, NLT

This is also true for ourselves. We too, deserve to encourage our own souls. Stop judging others, and stop judging yourself. In faith, encourage the area that is weakest.

This post was originally published October 2015.

calling, purpose, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, ministry, mentoring

Calling: Who We’ve Been and Who We’re Becoming

Devotionals, Stay SaneAugust 29, 2018July 30, 2019

The Lord knows who we’ve always been, who we are, and who we’re becoming because He created each one of us with a specific calling.

This morning, I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to go upstairs to finally open up an old box. The box has been sitting in a cabinet for nearly three years, and I have not had the courage to open it. It contains a bunch of old items that my siblings and I recovered from the little house where we grew up. Old keepsakes, letters, journals, and photos comprise its contents. We found these things in the attic at the old home-place after Mom passed away, just over three years ago. I’ve been reluctant to open the box because I’ve known that there will be things in it that could be hard to see. But, the Holy Spirit said it is time to open the box.

The Journal…

As I quickly scanned the contents, I came across a Steno pad journal with my name on the front. Although discolored, miraculously the little book remained unscathed during a serious house fire that nearly burned our old house to the ground. Somehow this little journal survived, tucked away there in the attic. Apparently it was one that my fifth grade teacher had assigned because each page contained a different writing prompt.

Thumbing through it, the particular entry that caught my eye was titled: “How do you think your childhood will affect your adult life?” Wow. Isn’t that the question we’re all still trying to answer?! Here’s what my 11 year old self had to say on the subject…

September 5, 1991.

I remember when I was younger, I used to have dreams about a big red bubble. In my bubble, I would float around the world and stop destruction. In my dreams I would see horrible sights. I would wake up and tell my dad that I wanted to help helpless people when I grew up. Hopefully someday I can make my dreams a reality. I will try to get good grades so that I can get a good future career which will hopefully be as a robotics technician or a writer.

Not Much Has Changed!

The thing that struck me as I read my own words is that in nearly three decades, not much has changed! Except for the part about wanting to be a robotics technician. Thankfully that childhood dream remained just that, a pipe dream! But the fact that I had terrible dreams where I saw awful things, is still true today. The Lord shows me things in my dreams, sometimes very hard things, but I have learned that there is a prophetic purpose to many of them. Sometimes He has me share a dream with the person that it’s about, or I simply pray for that person based on what I’ve seen in the dream.

And then there’s the part about wanting to help people who feel helpless. This calling definitely has not changed. For as long as I can remember, my heart has broken for people who feel hopeless and helpless. The Lord has begun to open doors for me to move through life–not in a big red bubble, but covered by His blood–to encourage those who are hopeless and to help those who feel helpless. And then there’s the bit about wanting to be a writer. Well, case in point, I’m writing this devotional that you’re reading and working on a family memoir. So, He is making my childhood dreams a reality.

The Spirit Is Unchanging…

Although we grow and change throughout our lives, the core of who we are–our spirit–is the same from the time we’re born until the day we die. And what’s more, as eternal beings, our spirit has always been and will always be the same. Our physical bodies change; emotions go on rollercoaster rides; minds become more fully open or closed. But our spirit–or rather His Holy Spirit in us–is unchanging. It’s in our spirits that our true identity resides. And in our spirits dwell our deepest desires and purest callings.

We can see an example of this in Jeremiah, when the word of the Lord revealed who he’d always been and who he’d become:

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Jeremiah 1:5

Although Jeremiah was reluctant, claiming that he was merely a child, the Lord assured Jeremiah that he would fulfill his prophetic calling:

But the Lord said unto me, Say not, I am a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak. Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord.

Jeremiah 1:7-8

Assurance for Our Calling…

Perhaps you have known from a young age that there is a call on your life. But have you also doubted that you have what it takes to really live out your calling? The Lord assures us that we will be able to fulfill our calling because He created us to accomplish the very purpose we so desperately long for.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:10

Although I’ve always had a heart for those who feel hopeless, and helpless, for years I shied away from the calling on my life. I felt ill-equipped to help anyone else because I was desperately fighting so many of my own battles. You see, that little 11 year old Hope (or “Hopey” as my mom called me), was about to go through some of the darkest battles of her life. In less than two years, her dad would die. She and her siblings would be scattered to the winds.

For most of her adolescence, she would be extremely anxious and depressed. Bouncing from one home to another, she would wind up with emotional whiplash by the time she left the sixth family’s home that had taken her in. Lost and alone, her heart would harden. She would turn to all the wrong things to try to find acceptance and love- rigid perfectionism, shoplifting, sex, drugs, you name it… And in her late 20’s she’d hit a wall and try to take her own life.

The Lord assures us that we will be able to fulfill our calling because He created us to accomplish the very purpose we so desperately long for. Click To Tweet

A Much Better Ending…

But God knew who He had created me to be, and He did not allow suicide to be the end of my story. He knew all along that the story He was writing would have a much better ending. And I know now that He has already written the chapters that I’m living out. The story changed when He rescued me, and I gave my life to Him. Now Jesus Christ is the protagonist in my story, and because of that, it will indeed have a happy ending. And beloved, because Christ is in your story, it will have a good ending too. Because that’s what He promises, and He is not a man that He should lie (Numbers 23:19).

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6

Do you have an old “box” that you need to open? Is there a call on your life that’s been collecting dust on a shelf of fear? How has the Lord assured you of who He created you to be?

All scripture references from the King James Version of the Bible.

chaos, overwhelmed, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, ministry, women, mentoring

Chaos: When Living Life is Above Our Capacity

Devotionals, Stay SaneAugust 28, 2018January 13, 2019

Life is full of chaos, leaving us overwhelmed and living above our capacity, threatening our sanity. Here is how to handle these seasons.

There are some days that the weight on my chest is so heavy, it literally hurts to breathe. The air I take in is shallow, and I end up deeply sighing repeatedly. Like right now. I literally just forced myself to take a deep breath. The kind of breath that almost feels like scratching an itch. The breath that is cleansing, and feels refreshing. For all of about 45 seconds, until I feel the need to do it again.

It’s my own doing though, I can admit this. When I am active, I feel alive and honestly, more peaceful. Thus, I teeter on a very delicate balance of sanity. It is something I am very aware of, and continually check into. Most days I am operating “at capacity,” meaning I am a little stressed, but mostly I’m having fun. Then there are days I am “over capacity,” meaning the mental and emotional breakdown may happen at any moment, so watch out!

I hit this point this past week. Looking at my partner in crime, I just simply stated, “I’m operating above capacity.” At that point I felt like I could curl up in a little ball and begin to sob. She understood. Praise Jesus for people who I can be real with, and not fear judgement! Typically when at this point, I go into hiding. I simply don’t trust myself around people, and I feel too fragile to trust people with myself.

It is in this time of hiding I replenish and refill my soul. In the hiding I can refocus my perspective. It is in the hiding I find protection and am able to survive the chaos.

He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

Psalm 91:4, NLT

Surviving the Chaos

It begins with self-control…

In these situations, we have to make ourselves stop the chaos in our minds. And when we feel so out of control that that does not seem possible, we need to remember that self control is a gift that has been promised to us.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23, ESV

Then we become still…

Whether it is for ten minutes in the bathroom, or a weekend away, we reach a point when we need to physically stop. But when we stop we need to be careful to not just replace the chaos with a different type of busyness. Instead we are to recognize the majesty of our Lord, and the power He possesses.

Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!

Psalm 46:10, ESV

Taking a breath…

With every breath, we breathe in the Spirit. With every sigh, we release the tension. There are times when the chaos is so loud, and our minds so cluttered, that prayer is simply breathing. God created our bodies to need oxygen, so breathe Him in deeply.

I bless God every chance I get; my lungs expand with his praise. I live and breathe God…

Psalm 34:1-2, MSG

And put it in perspective…

Often, we make scenarios more dramatic than they need to be. If we can view life in the view of eternity, the pressure lessens. The weight of the world does not fall on our shoulders, nor is the outcome based on our situation. We are not powerful enough to change what God has ultimately planned.

…you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

James 4:14, ESV

We are not powerful enough to change what God has ultimately planned. Click To Tweet

Gaining control of our reaction…

But we do have the power, through Jesus Christ, to conquer our emotions. This well quoted verse in Philippians is often taken out of context. “All this” refers to finding contentment through hardship. Because of God’s strength, I am able to function calmly in seasons of chaos.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13, NIV

Accepting our limitations…

We are finite beings, facing the limitations of 24 hours, and needing sleep and food to continue in our tasks. If we do not accept these limitations, our bodies will literally force us into submission. But praise be to God, He is not limited!

With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

Matthew 19:26, ESV

To quiet our mind, and move forward…

There are times amidst chaos when we simply cannot stop, to do so would be giving in to fear and to be disobedient. It is possible to still the heart and mind without stilling the body.

And Moses said to the people… “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”
The Lord said to Moses, “Why do you cry to me? Tell the people of Israel to go forward…”

Exodus 14:13-15, ESV

So use self-control, take a moment (even if it is just a moment) to catch your breath, and put the chaos in perspective. In doing so, you will gain control, accepting your limitations. Then your mind will quiet, and you will continue on, brave sister.

obedience, Ezekiel, speak, truth, bold, Oh Lord Help Us

Obedience: How Do We Speak In A Culture That Isn’t Listening?

Devotionals, Stay SaneAugust 27, 2018June 27, 2019

Today we are living in a time of spiritual drought. God told Ezekiel, His prophet, to stand up and speak out. He calls us to the same obedience.

Today I had coffee with a sweet friend. She and her husband recently visited the Creation museum, which is located in northern Kentucky. They both admired the attention to detail and beauty of the garden, but what completely awed her was how one man’s disobedience (Adam), and another man’s obedience (Noah), changed the course of mankind. Throughout the story of man, God raised up judges, prophets, and kings – some who were obedient to His voice, and many who were not. The results of each reverberated like tremors of an earthquake.

Drought

Does it ever feel to you as though we are living in a time of drought? Not literally, although Californians might beg to differ, but spiritually. Do you experience the tremors of a peoples’ disobedience?

With the latest surge of news concerning Bill Hybels and Willow Creek last week, and the recent indictments of the Pennsylvania Catholic church concealing more than 1,000 cases of clergy abuse of children, it’s one dry heat wave rolling after another. My heart breaks.

In my lifetime, our nation has gone from praying and displaying the Ten Commandments in schools and government buildings, most people at least believing in God, to the nearly opposite end of the spectrum – suing Christian businesses for not conforming to post-Christian cultural norms (i.e. paying for abortions, etc.). Adhering to Christian principles is mocked, equaled to “privilege,” and shamed on many college campuses, and Christians are sometimes referred to as bigots. As the people of God grow more comfortable in our bondage to the culture, it becomes increasingly difficult to stand up or speak the words of God to a rebellious people…which may cause us to become rebellious, too.

And Satan loves it so…

How can a holy God look upon this people and spare us? How does He continue to have compassion on us? How do we move forward when those we trusted or followed or admired have fallen in such disgrace? Why doesn’t Jesus return before we utterly and completely forever tarnish His name?!

God’s Response to Dryness

And He said to me, “Son of man, stand on your feet, and I will speak to you.” Then the Spirit entered me when He spoke to me, and set me on my feet; And I heard Him who spoke to me. And He said to me: “Son of man, I am sending you to the children of Israel, to a rebellious nation that has rebelled against Me; to this very day. For they are impudent and stubborn children. I am sending you to them, and you shall say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God,’ As for them, whether they hear or whether they refuse – for they are a rebellious house – yet they will know that a prophet has been among them.

Ezekiel 2:1-5, NKJV

Wow; it sounds like God is speaking to us in the present day, doesn’t it? Rebellious, impudent, stubborn children.

Israel was living in exile in Babylon at this time. One would think they would be desperate for God to deliver them, desperate enough to listen to His priest and prophet, desperate enough to be obedient to His Word. But no. Like us, they had grown comfortable in their bondage…in their dryness…in their sin. They liked blending in with the culture which held them captive.

Our Response- Obedience

Consequently, Ezekiel knew his message, or rather God’s message would not be popular.

“And you, son of man, do not be afraid of them nor be afraid of their words, though briers and thorns are with you and you dwell among scorpions; do not be afraid of their words or dismayed by their looks, though they are a rebellious house. You shall speak My words to them, whether they hear or whether they refuse, for they are rebellious. But you, son of man, hear what I say to you. Do not be rebellious like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you.”

Ezekiel 2:6-8, NKJV

But remember, like Ezekiel, we are living among scorpions. (I hate those suckers! They sting like crazy, but they are not deadly!) We are not to be afraid of their words or dismayed by their looks – and sister, you know the LOOKS you can receive when you talk about Jesus in the public square!! However, God told Ezekiel he had to speak whether Israel listened or not.

Our fearlessness comes from the certainty that it isn't up to us. Everything depends completely on God. Click To Tweet

God Speaking Through Us

But here is the great part: God doesn’t want you to speak unless HIS HAND IS UPON YOU! We aren’t instructed to babble incessantly to anyone who crosses our paths. (You know someone like that, don’t you?)

The hand of the Lord came upon me and brought me out in the Spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley; and it was full of bones…And He said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” So I answered, “O Lord God, You know.” Again He said to me, “Prophecy to these bones, and say to them, ‘O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! Surely I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live”…So I prophesied as I was commanded.

Ezekiel 37:1-7, NKJV

Oh, dear sister! We, too, are living in a valley of dry bones. There are absolutely no words in any human language that will convince the dead souls around us that they are dead. However, when the hand of God is upon us He gives us His words to utter and they are filled with the holy breath of Life. It is never up to us to conjure up the perfect words to say! Hallelujah, amen, right?!

Our fearlessness comes from the certainty that it isn’t up to us. Everything depends completely on God. We are to do as Ezekiel was commanded – obey His voice.

So you might wonder what obedience looks like in a place of dryness. It isn’t really difficult. In the words of Brennan Manning:

Christ wants Christians to live in the present, to love now, to touch this person in these concrete circumstances.

Whose dry bones is Jesus asking you to love, speak to, touch today?

Sources:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-met-willow-creek-elders-step-down-20180807-story.html
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2018/08/14/pennsylvania-grand-jury-report-on-sex-abuse-in-catholic-church-will-list-hundreds-of-accused-predator-priests/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.501b0862cfe1
http://www.beliefnet.com/news/home-page-news-and-views/are-us-colleges-hostile-to-christian-students.aspx
http://www.beliefnet.com/news/home-page-news-and-views/are-us-colleges-hostile-to-christian-students.aspx

inspiration, motivation, Oh Lord Help Us, ministry, Christian, mentoring

Inspiration: Find Lasting Motivation in The Word of God

Devotionals, Stay SaneAugust 23, 2018June 28, 2019

What inspires you? Usually, the only obstacle standing in the way of motivation is ourselves. At the end of the day, the only source for lasting inspiration is found in the Word of God.

You know that person you see every now and then? It’s comforting to see them, and for some reason it feels right. You know who they are and you’ve heard a lot about them, but you haven’t ever spoken to them. You’re not afraid of them, but there is some intimidation. You’ve never sat down and gotten to know them. This is the perfect picture of how I view God.

We’ve heard the stories about a being who created the universe, did awesome things, and set up eternity. Also, we’ve heard about a guy, who came and died for us so we would be clean and precious in God’s eyes. We even have mutual friends that want to see Him as a King. Your neighbor who loves Christ more than life itself. Or your cousin who talks about God like He’s their best friend.

With this in mind, I have to ask myself, how often do I spend time talking to the One who literally put the stars in the sky? How often am I reading the words He said and wrote for me? Well, let’s just say, thank God Almighty it’s okay to be a work in progress.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

2 Corinthians 3:18

The Struggle of Distractions

Too often, I overlook the magnificence of the Bible. God Almighty, our Lord, our Savior, not only came back to save us, but He spoke to us. And we have access to that! We shouldn’t be able to put that book down!

Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart.

2 Corinthians 4:1

Yet, we’re constantly fighting for the inspiration to read it. Inspiration, I think, is quite a universal struggle. I’ll speak only for myself when I say this, but I have a feeling I’m not the only one who feels this way. I don’t like being told what to do. Truthfully, I prefer to do things on my own time. You know, be the captain of my own ship; the queen of my kingdom.

Even now, as I sit here writing, I find my mind wandering to the things I’d rather be doing. I hate to admit it, but I find myself displaying this mindset in a vast majority of my daily life. Homework. Chores. If it’s not on my list of things I want to do, I’ll probably complain about it. I don’t want to overstep here, but I think it’s safe to assume that a lot of us struggle with this major lack of inspiration.

The most frustrating part for me in particular is the fact that I don’t necessarily want to be like this. I want to have a clean room. I want to make mom smile by washing the mountain of dishes while she’s out running errands. Mostly though, I long to know the God who has repeatedly pulled me out of darkness. Yet, I find myself pushing Him to the back burner. How then are we supposed to overcome our own flesh and do these things we don’t really want to do?

I long to know the God who has repeatedly pulled me out of darkness. Yet, I find myself pushing Him to the back burner. How then are we supposed to overcome our own flesh and do these things we don’t really want to do? Click To Tweet

Aha! Inspiration

With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

Matthew 19:26

And that is simply it. The answer to all our problems. It’s simple. Perhaps not as easy as we’d like; but simple. God makes all things possible. Don’t have the motivation to go to work today? Ask God to give it to you. Don’t have it in you to deal with your screaming children? How about your mom and dad; or brother and sister? Ask God to not only quiet their minds and hearts, but yours as well.

Talk to Him, pray to Him, and learn and grow to love Him as He loves you. Saying it this way may make it sound so simple, but it truly is that simple. He loves you. Not because of anything you’ve done or will ever do. We’ve heard that said time and time again.

For myself, I often skim across that truth. Trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I am truly, unconditionally loved and that there’s nothing I can ever do to lose that love, blows my mind. We should never be able to get over that. This is our motivation and inspiration.