Category: Stay Sane

No one likes to be humbled, but if humility is what allows us to truly honor the Lord, then sign me up! Here are five ways that pride sneaks into our lives.

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You better believe, the Lord is sure to humble those who get too big for their britches.

Can I tell you a quick story about humility?

My husband and I were newly married, and we were going backpacking with a friend of mine, and a friend of my husband’s. (Yes, we were kinda thinking of playing match-maker. No, that didn’t happen. They are both with lovely people now. I digress). As we were preparing for the trip, I admit I was feeling pretty high and mighty, like I was a super-cool chic for being a backpacker.

This was probably the closest I have ever come to hearing God speak audibly to me. In my head I heard, “You’re going to learn humility.” Oh dear. I don’t know about you, but I HATE lessons on humility. Quickly, I acknowledged my arrogance and was hopeful I could skip the lesson.

I did not skip the lesson.

While we were hiking, I fell off a boulder. And when I stood up, we all saw that my pants were torn. It was like a doorway opened on my backside, from my knee to my not-at-all-sexy panties. Humility lesson – check! My rear end brought up the rear of our hiking party. So when I say “too big for their britches,” I literally mean britches.

Pride…

Perhaps you deal with pride too? Perhaps you would like to avoid getting too big for your britches??? Here are some sneaky forms of pride…

Comparison: Thinking we are owed something

One of the parables I most struggle with is found in Matthew 20. This is the one where the master of the field hires workers at the start of day, the middle of the day, and at the end of the day. Then pays them all the same. The people hired first and worked all day are upset they were paid the same amount as those who only worked at the very end. I’m thinking, heck yeah they would be upset, I would be too! I want to be given what I am owed. I want my fair share!

The thing is, those workers were given what they were owed. The master did not cheat them, he paid them the agreed upon amount, and he paid them promptly. They only felt cheated when they were looking at what the others had received. Like them, we are happy with what we have received, until we start comparing ourselves with others.

To expose this, we must keep our focus on the Master, and show gratitude for the kindness and generosity He has bestowed upon us.

Self-Pity: Focusing on our weaknesses

How many times have I sat and moped because I was not able to do something I felt I should be able to do. I have wished to be someone else, and have felt like God made a mistake with me.

We need to be aware of our weaknesses, but not focus on them. If we are trying to fix our weaknesses so that we have it all together, or an attempt to be perfect, or to be different, then we are focusing too much on ourselves.

To expose this, we must acknowledge our weakness and allow the Holy Spirit to transform us (Romans 12). Also, it may be that we need to humble ourselves and allow the strength of others to compliment our weakness.

Self-Reliant: Thinking we have our act together

I pride myself on being self-discipline. I am a hard worker, I don’t hide away from hard things, I am diligent until the job is done.

Having self-discipline is a good thing, but it can quickly become self-righteousness. When we think we are hot-stuff, and that we got to where we are on our own, we have forgotten that we have nothing without Christ and His generosity.

To expose this, take a step back and get a different perspective. There is nothing we can do to earn God’s favor, that is the beauty of grace.

Recognition: Expecting others to acknowledge us

I crave approval. To the point that if I don’t receive verbal affirmation, I take it as negative. It gets interpreted in my little brain as I let other people down, or I did not do a good enough job. Some of this response is because of my love language being words of affirmation, but it is also because of pride.

We all love to be recognized, but when we base our worth on the approval of others, instead of the approval of the Lord, we have elevated ourselves. We have placed ourselves at the center, expecting others to meet our needs. This, of course, is destined to fail, and it is our egos that will end up shattered.

To expose this, we must continually shift our focus back to glorifying the Lord, and be intentional about showing love and kindness to other people.

Expectation: Thinking others are the same as us

“Why can’t she get her act together?!?” Maybe you’ve never said that out loud, but I know I sure have thought it more than once. I am quick to expect others to learn the same way I do, at the same rate, and in the same order. I am prideful when I put the pressure on for people to be the same as myself.

It has been said that the things that most annoy us about other people are the things we do ourselves. Or possibly they are things we once struggled with and were able to move past. We so easily forget the road we have traveled to be where we are. We expect everyone to have learned the same lessons we have, and in the same way.

To expose this, we need to remember the lessons we have learned, and recognize that there are still many more lessons we have yet to accomplish.

Humility…

Now that we have exposed some areas of pride that have snuck into our lives, let’s trade it in for humility. But we must be careful about trying to do this on our own. Only Christ can provide true humility. Otherwise we may just get prideful about how humble we are.

We simply can’t achieve humility on our own.

…it is only by the indwelling of Christ in His divine humility that we can become truly humble.

…external teaching and personal effort are powerless to conquer pride or create the meek and lowly heart in a person.

Andrew Murray, Humility

...external teaching and personal effort are powerless to conquer pride or create the meek and lowly heart in a person. --Andrew Murray, Humility Click To Tweet

Your turn…

No one likes to be humbled, but if humility is what allows us to truly honor the Lord, then sign me up! What issues of pride are you dealing with? Have any good “britches” stories???

 

 

Joshua Fuller

Self-control is essential to being healthy in our mind, body, and soul. But it can easily be twisted into becoming an obsession for control.

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Before I begin, can I take a moment to be transparent? This post is going to talk about diet; And I feel really uncomfortable talking about diet stuff. I am that annoying person who has always been able to eat whatever and not gain weight. Mostly I think this is because I am very active and run a lot, but it is also genetics and I cannot take credit for that. I acknowledge that I cannot relate to so many women who struggle with weight. But I do know the struggle to be healthy. And I definitely know the struggle of self-control. So let’s encourage one another, shall we?

Within a weeks time I ate a dozen doughnuts. I lost all control. First, I ate doughnuts from Krispy Kreme. Then I had some from a grocery store bakery. After that I fully indulged in several from a local bakery. Then I wrapped it up a few unexpected ones from Duck Doughnuts. It would have been wrong to pass those up.

If you know me, you know I love doughnuts. I like other deserts, don’t get me wrong; cake, brownies, ice cream…those may tempt me, but I won’t regret not eating them. But to pass up a doughnut takes a lot of… well, self-control. Self-control has been a very prominent theme in my life over the past 6 months. Except for that week that I lost control.

My need for self-control…

Six months ago I was diagnosed with SIBO (small intestinal bacteria overgrowth). Feel free to look up details if you want, but I will spare you of those for now. This is by no means a serious, life-threatening condition (although it can lead to more serious things if not managed). It is more of a nuisance, but it is a nuisance I would like to be rid of. The problem is how to get rid of it.

There is an antibiotic, but insurance won’t cover it, and it costs $1800. Yikes! There is a back up antibiotic, but insurance won’t cover that one either. And I won’t take the back up to the back up, so that leaves treating it naturally and with diet. This is all fine with me, I much prefer the natural route if at all possible.

The natural route includes a diet low in fermentable foods. This means no sugar, and no wheat. Those are the first to go in just about any diet, so no big surprise there. The surprise is that it also means eliminating onions, garlic, mushroom, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, cabbage, avocado, apples, pears, mango, cherries, and about a hundred other of my favorite foods. What the heck was I suppose to eat???

For the first time in my life I had to have self-control with my diet. It was overwhelming, but I did it. I planned, I made adjustments, I found replacements, and I did it. For six months. And then… a dozen doughnuts.

So what went wrong?

I became discouraged. Even with eliminating all those things, it wasn’t enough. Symptoms would improve, and then worsen. Therefore, I eliminated more things. Still, I would experience improvement, then worsen. Finally, I said enough; I might as well eat what I want.

Then came the consequences. Not just the the symptoms of SIBO (although those were there too), but the crazy mood swings (my blood didn’t know what to do with all that sugar), and then getting sick (eating sugar lowers your immune system). My body went through the ringer last month.

Healthy in all ways…

Now I am back fighting to be healthy in mind, body and soul.

Mind

Self-control can easily be twisted into control. We feel powerful (and therefore prideful), knowing that we can exhibit so much control. For the first time in my life I could see why many women are sucked into the destructive world of eating disorders.

Self-control can easily be twisted into control. Click To Tweet

Body

We are to take care of our bodies, using them to honor God. We are not to honor our bodies. It is easy to become obsessive with health, always feeling like we have to do more to feel better. After all, the way we feel is always the thing we feel most. We need to be wise, and willing to learn, but be careful to not be consumed.

Soul

Practicing self-control is exhausting, especially if we try to do it with our own will power. But, hallelujah! We don’t have to do it on our own. It is promised to us. It is a fruit of the Spirit.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Galatians 5:22-23, NLT

If we do indeed have the Spirit within us, then we have the ability to live with all those wonderful traits, including self-control.

Encouragement for self-control…

We all deal with self-control. Maybe it’s with food, maybe it’s with money, maybe it’s thoughts, or emotions. None us can escape the need for it, or the temptation to twist it into an idol. It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit we can practice self-control in a healthy way.

In what ways do you need the help of the Holy Spirit for self-control?

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Patrick Fore

Like the Israelites, we are prone to wander. Even through our doubt, God is faithful, urging us to press on toward His promises.

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Last time, we began the journey of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt to the Promised Land. The Israelites began in a place so broken and hopeless, they scoffed at the hope of God’s promises given through Moses, yet God remained faithful. He stayed true to His promises and did not condemn the children of Israel for their lack of faith. Instead, He strengthened their faith as He remained faithful to bring them out of Egypt, to safety on the other side of the Red Sea.

We all have an Egypt. We all have a Red Sea to cross. But the story didn’t end there. Crossing the Red Sea, freed from slavery only began their journey. They were not yet at the Promised Land. So let’s continue to learn from this story…

After the Egyptians died in the Red Sea and the Israelites found their freedom secure, what did they do? They had a worship service. There on the opposite side of the Red Sea from where they began, they saw God’s promise of freedom fulfilled, and the praised Him!

Then Moses and the people of Israel sang this song to the Lord, saying,

“I will sing to the Lord, for He has triumphed gloriously;
the horse and his rider He has thrown into the sea.
The Lord is my strength and my song,
and He has become my salvation;
this is my God, and I will praise Him,
my father’s God, and I will exalt Him.

Exodus 15:1-2, ESV

Doubt

Though they rejoiced with strength and vigor, their faith quickly turned again to fear and doubt. As they moved on towards the Promised Land, daily life was hard. Water and food were not as easily available as they were in Egypt, and the Israelites did not believe God would provide for them. They quickly began to long for the very slavery they so desperately wanted out of not many days before.

Even as they complained, God still provided. Their faithlessness did not cause His faithfulness to falter. It is impossible for God’s faithfulness to falter due to human faithlessness. Yet as He provided, they kept complaining. They made idols of gold, and they made plans to go back to the slavery of Egypt willingly. In the harsh wilderness, they longed for what was familiar even though it meant chains and slavery.

When they finally reached the edge of the Promised Land, they did not rejoice as they did before. They doubted God and sent their own spies. The report was not good. The inhabitants of the land seemed too powerful to overthrow despite God’s promise to do so for them. Only two of the twelve spies remembered God’s promises and encouraged the Israelites to trust Him who proved faithful again and again. The people ignored them, and they wailed, feeling hopeless once more. They thought it would be better if they died in the wilderness. They called for a leader to take them back to the chains of Egypt.

Retreat

As I considered their desire to go back to the bondage they wanted out of so badly before, I thought about the many times I believe going back to my Egypt—the place of resignation to how life is and that healing isn’t real—is better too. When this journey towards healing feels too hard, I think it is better to go back to the very place I wanted out of for so long. Sometimes, I get to the point where I feel so overwhelmed I can’t see past the moment I’m in. His promises for healing and redemption again seem too far out of reach. Going back appears to be the best choice in the moment, and it seems like the only way to find the relief I am desperate for. I am just like the Israelites once more.

But God wouldn’t let the Israelites go back because He knew it wasn’t best. He led them 40 years in the wilderness, still promising to lead them to the Promised Land, though they now had a very long detour because of their unbelief. He tested them in the wilderness, one year for every day the spies checked out the land. The very generation who wished they died in the wilderness instead of fighting for the land God promised were given their desire. It was their children He would lead into the Promised Land.

When this journey towards healing feels too hard, I think it is better to go back to the very place I wanted out of for so long. Click To Tweet

Wander

He still provided for their every need even when they didn’t believe He would while they complained relentlessly about the journey He was taking them on. He was faithful where they fell short. They were so close to the Promised Land. They stood on its border, but they wandered for 40 long years due to the hardness of their heart.

Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says,

“Today, if you hear His voice,
do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion,
on the day of testing in the wilderness,
where your fathers put Me to the test
and saw My works for forty years…”

Hebrews 3:7-9, ESV

I’m so much like the Israelites so often, but I don’t want to be. I am admonished to learn from their example. They stood on the edge of the promise fulfilled, but because they couldn’t see past the very moment they were in, they gave up and wandered for decades. I do not want to give up when I am so much closer to the Promised Land than I realize, just because I cannot see past the step directly in front of me. I don’t want to wander on this journey longer than I have to.

Pressing on

When I’m in the wilderness and I want to turn back, I can remember that He is still faithful, even when I can’t hold on to the hope He promises me. I can remember His faithfulness to Israel even in the hardness of their heart. I can remember their hardness of heart and plead with God to remove any hardness I may be harboring, so I can keep walking towards the Promised Land. When I want to go back to my Egypt and just feel nothing again and pretend nothing happened again, I can remember I’m closer to the Promised Land than I think, that the wilderness really is better than Egypt and that God is allowing what is best for me. I can cling to His faithfulness and keep pressing on in the difficult wilderness.

He is still faithful, even when I can't hold on to the hope He promises me. Click To Tweet

I’m in the middle of my own Exodus still. Maybe you are too. Your Egypt and wilderness and Promised Land may be different than mine, but I suspect, if we are honest, we all have an Exodus to travel. We have an advantage the children of Israel didn’t have though. We have their example to remind us to remember who God is, to heed His voice, and not harden our hearts, shutting down again. Also, we have evidence of His faithfulness in the middle of their doubt to remind us He is faithful in the middle of ours.

Sometimes, Egypt seems like a great place to go. The wilderness we muddle through seems too much to bear. The Promised Land seems more like a dream than a reality we will reach one day. We must remember we are in the middle of our own exodus story, and the same God that brought freedom and redemption to the doubting Israelites, leading them every step of the way in the wilderness, is leading the way for us in our wilderness and will bring about our freedom and our redemption just as surely as He did for them. As I was reminded just the other day…keep at it; Jesus is worth it.

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Nick de la Force

The Lord is faithful and leads us on a journey from feeling anguish and hopeless, to a place where we can experience hopefulness.

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Growing up in church, it’s easy to glaze over at familiar stories. However, God often times will use these familiar tales to teach me as my husband and I share them with our children. He sets a familiar to me Bible story before my kids and works in my heart just as much as theirs. A while back, God taught me and grew me as I taught my children the story of the exodus.

Before God led the people of Israel out of Egypt, He spoke to Moses, the man He raised up to lead His people out of their slavery. God spoke to Moses this…

“Moreover, I have heard the groaning of the people of Israel whom the Egyptians hold as slaves, and I have remembered my covenant. Say therefore to the people of Israel, ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will deliver you from slavery to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great acts of judgment. I will take you to be My people, and I will be your God, and you shall know that I am the Lord your God, who has brought you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians. I will bring you into the land that I swore to give to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob. I will give it to you for a possession. I am the Lord.” Moses spoke thus to the people of Israel, but they did not listen to Moses, because of their broken spirit and harsh slavery.

Exodus 6:5-9, ESV

Anguish

As I read this passage, to which I am well acquainted, how the Israelites responded to these incredible promises God gave them through Moses struck me deeply. They didn’t even listen to him. But did you catch the reason? It was “their broken spirit and harsh slavery”. I never noticed those little words before in the many times I’ve read through the book of Exodus, but it really resonated with me.

I decided to look up the meaning of those words and learned that “broken spirit” can be translated “anguish”. That is a strong word for deep hurt. The Israelites were in such anguish of spirit because of the oppressive conditions they lived under for so long that the precious hope held out before them wasn’t even something they could grab hold of. The children of Israel were completely and utterly hopeless.

I know that place of total hopelessness. Just as the Israelites found themselves beaten down to nothing by their slavery and oppressive conditions in Egypt, so, too, I once lived in my own Egypt.

Hopeless

My Egypt is the place I lived after first disclosing my abuse. It was not well received, and for many years, people who claimed the name of Christ wanted to punish me for what happened and the way trauma was playing out in my life. So, I thought God did not care, and I needed to make it all go away.

I spent a decade pretending nothing happened and trying to hide the impact that “nothing” took on me. Too many people told me too many times I shouldn’t be impacted by what happened if I was truly a new creation in Christ. The less than a handful of times I attempted to reach out for help because “nothing” got that bad, I was shamed or silenced or both. Many times Christians acted as Egyptians beating me down to the point of hopelessness. I resigned myself to the way things were and to the lie that God did not care. Complete and utter hopelessness.

Hopeful

However, a few years ago, I heard a new message from someone else claiming Christ. This message was different than any I’d ever heard. A new pastor told me God does care. He does heal. The way things were is not where God wanted me to stay. This pastor held out hope, true hope stemming from God’s never-broken promises. But I responded just as the Israelites.

Hope was in front of me. Hope from God which cannot fail, yet I couldn’t grab hold of it. Not only did my broken spirit not believe this promise of hope, it simply couldn’t. To believe in hope that things could get better, and for healing to be real, was more than my finite mind, broken by the years in my Egypt, could understand. When God’s promises were held out before me, I didn’t believe it was real. I reacted just like the Israelites when Moses brought them hope for the first time in centuries.

Hope was in front of me. Hope from God which cannot fail, yet I couldn’t grab hold of it. Click To Tweet

Faithful

The story of the Exodus doesn’t end there though. Israel doubted, but God kept the very promises they could not believe. Even in their disbelief, in the midst of their brokenness and slavery, He was faithful. God kept His promises because His faithfulness never depended on their faith. He didn’t condemn the Israelites because they faltered and doubted. No. In the middle of their doubt and sufferings, He had compassion on them. He still showed Himself mighty. God still brought about the freedom and redemption He promised but they couldn’t grasp the hope for.

So God started working. He sent Moses and Aaron to Pharaoh. Pharaoh refused to let Israel go, so God worked miracles in the plagues. As He worked, their faith strengthened and their doubt gave way to trust, faith, and belief. By the time the tenth and final plague was upon the land, God told the Israelites to kill a lamb and put the blood on the doorposts. He gave them all the directions for the Passover meal, and they didn’t question Him. They obeyed and trusted and believed He would spare their firstborn when the firstborn of each household in Egypt died in that last and dreadful plague. And He did.

He then told them to plunder the Egyptians by just asking for their valuables. It is absolutely ridiculous to think people will just hand over their most valuable possessions without a fight because they were asked. Yet Israel believed God and did what He said. They were given their loot, and they left Egypt behind.

By the time they arrived at the Red Sea, their faith was strong. They trusted Him enough to walk through the Sea on dry land, enormous walls of water towering on either side of them. They believed He would hold the water until they got to the other side safely. Of course, He once again proved himself faithful, holding back the water until they were all safely across.

The children of Israel started in a place so broken they couldn’t believe the hope God held out for them. Still God was faithful in the midst of their doubt. He brought about their freedom and redemption just as He promised. In the process, their faith strengthened tremendously.

Journey

I also started in such a broken place that when hope was offered, I didn’t know how to accept it. Intrigued by the prospect the pastor held before me, I moved towards the hope he offered in Christ without believing it was even possible. Yet in my doubt, God remained faithful. He worked healing little by little where I doubted healing could ever touch. I took the first step out of Egypt, and as I moved forward towards the hope offered, I crossed my Red Sea.

The Exodus story isn’t over yet. The Israelites still faced a long journey ahead to reach the promised land. There were still many lessons for them to learn. Just like them, moving towards the hope offered was not the end of my story. I faced a long journey ahead to reach my promised land. God taught me more from this story, but that will be for next time….

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Denys Nevozhai