My House is Clean, and That’s OK.

My name is Rachael, and I like to clean. There, I said it.

I feel like there has been a movement of sorts to stop cleaning. I have seen several articles going around the social media scene about how people (we will call them moms) are accepting that their homes are not clean because they are busy being moms and taking care of and spending time with their children. Maybe this is because there is a crazy amount of pressure out there on us women to do it all and be it all and have it all and we are finally starting to crack under the pressure and rebel in our own little ways.

I completely agree with these articles, it is alright that homes are messy. But every time I would read one and then see one (because I had to stop reading them) I would feel so offended. See, I do have a clean house. I confess. I like things to be organized and I feel more at peace when things are put away. Why was I offended? Because I felt like they were implying that because I do clean, that must mean I’m neglecting my children somehow. But that is hogwash. I spend plenty of time with my children, taking care of their needs, and nurturing them in the ways they need. Daily I cook for them, clean them, read to them, do puzzles with them, color with them, train them.

Aha! There it is! I train them! See, a couple years ago I was expressing this guilt I felt (about having a clean home) to an older lady that has a PhD and had years of experience doing social work with children. And her response was a great encouragement. She said, “What’s wrong with teaching your children to clean and be responsible?” Oh, is that what I’m doing? So I’ve changed my perspective from “I’m just OCD” to “I’ll teach my kids to be OCD.”

When my older son turned five we introduced regular chores and he started to receive an allowance. It started with just making his bed, and has grown to making his bed, setting the table, clearing the table, dusting, cleaning windows, and helping with laundry. Then he started recruiting his 3 year old brother to help and he would give him part of his money. This is how I knew I could add chores for the little guy. He’s like an apprentice to my apprentice. It’s really cool to see their teamwork. We actually look forward to doing chores. My oldest knows that if he complains about the chores, he doesn’t get paid. If he asks to be paid, he doesn’t get paid. And he doesn’t get paid for everything. Dishes, making the bed, picking up are all standard stuff. Dusting, windows, laundry gets him 50 cents a job.

This is how we roll…

Picking up: I rarely clean up after my boys. For the most part they put their stuff away on their own when they’re done. This has taken training though. In the evening, about 10-15 minutes before dinner will be done (depending on how big the mess is), I set a timer and tell them to clean up. Whatever has not been put away by the time the timer goes off gets put into a basket and they will get it back the next day. This way their stuff is picked up before dinner, and after dinner we can focus on family time and baths and reading.

Laundry: They love loading clothes in the washer and moving them to the dryer and putting them in the basket. Like they fight over it. Weird kids. With their clothes, they are in charge of the socks. They have to sort and match, great for teaching colors to the 3 year old. For the towels, I fold the bath towels, 6 year old folds dish and hand towels, 3 year old folds rags. And we have conversation the whole time. We talk about some pretty deep stuff (for a 6 year old). This is what he craves, his “Love Language” if you will. To be with me and have me listen to him is so valuable. And the laundry gets done. Bonus!

Dusting and Windows: For this I turn on groovin’ music and we dance while getting it done. I’m usually cleaning bathrooms or sweeping while he does these.

Miscellaneous: If they leave their lights on, I take a quarter. I’ve explained to them that it costs money to use electricity and if they want to waste it, then they have to pay for it.

My strategy is, once my house is clean, it’s a lot easier to keep it clean. It’s never overwhelming to me, and I usually only spend 30 minutes at a time taking care of stuff.

I’m not saying you need to have a clean house. I truly could care less what your house looks like. And I agree that houses that are cluttered are fun to go to. And I know that sometimes, other things are going on and cleaning need to be put on hold.

We all have to do what helps us be calm. Because being calm, helps us to be better moms.