To love our children is to teach them to obey. First, to the Lord, and, in turn, to us. How do we teach our children to be obedient and respectful?
Yikes! That title is super intimidating, but let me sell you for a second. What if I told you it’s vital for Christian living? It’s God’s love language. Our obedience makes His heart happy! Doesn’t it make your heart happy when your children do what they are told without a grumble or a whimper?
“Whoa! How do you get results like that, Katie?” I don’t. Not always. And, I don’t always give my Lord the same respect. I also grumble and complain.
As a parent, I give in. I’m clear on the rule, I communicate the consequence, but, if I am honest with myself, I can be easily swayed. Not hearing the complaining and the whining is a reward to my mental state. This is one of the biggest lies I feed into. “You will be happier if you don’t have to hear one more tantrum.” Am I teaching true obedience to my children if I continually buckle under the pressure of the arguments and crying fits?
Our youngest, at the ripe age of 2, quickly learned to cry for Mommy when he wanted a drink of water at night. The rule is set: no drinks in bed. Consequence: a wet bed, extra laundry, and a grumpy child. It seemed that no matter how many bottles of water I filled during the day or how much was consumed at dinner, his thirst was not quenched until he had that last sip while snuggled under his super hero blankets. We stood firm. Water Nazis, if you will. The worst ever. The tears, the anguish. Ultimately, I submit to one more sip of water to ease my ears and my patience. Choose your battles, right? No. He’s not thirsty. He’s letting me know that he can be disobedient without recourse. He’s getting his way.
Parenting is not for the faint. It’s a constant cycle of holding to account our child’s actions and being held accountable for our own. It’s absolutely impossible to be a successful parent without first bowing to the Lord. How do we teach our children to be obedient and respectful? The answer for obedience is obedience. Respecting and submitting to the Lord’s commands. Love God with our whole existence. To love God is to be obedient to God because He loves us.
I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, he is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that God, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
Deuteronomy 30:19-20 (MSG)
Because of this verse we have this verse:
Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, ‘so you will live well and have a long life.’
Ephesians 6:1-3 (MSG)
To love our children is to teach them to obey. First, to the Lord, and, in turn, to us. The lie says we will be happier in the end, but the truth is the exact opposite. When we choose disobedience in any form, we choose death. Life or death? Thanks, I’ll choose life. Somehow I think that if I would just remember this in the midst of a battle of wills, I would find strength to follow through. If I would just remember that when my children choose to be disobedient they choose to be separated from the Lord. Heavy. No, most children can’t grasp the intensity of this. Especially when it’s “just a sip of water”. So, how do we convey the importance?
Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (MSG)
We can’t instill honesty, kindness, love, self-respect, responsibility, and OBEDIENCE in our children with “giving in.” We have to LIVE in obedience without wavering. We have to speak the truth of God. We have to completely submerge our whole existence in God’s living word! This is the most important assignment the Lord has given his followers and ultimately those he has bestowed parenthood upon.
When we choose disobedience in any form, we choose death. Click To Tweet
You’re turn!
Listen, Ya’ll! I feel convicted, even now, while writing this post. It’s difficult. Life is hectic and nuts! It’s easy to let the day pass with just a short devotional, a 5 sec prayer, or even nothing at all (Gasp! For shame!). Honestly, it happens. It shouldn’t but it does. It does for every single one of us. That’s how I know this message is important. Parent or not.
In what ways can you better your obedience to God?
How can we practically show this important lesson to our children?
I think I go through seasons. Seasons of being the Nazi parent and seasons of being the far too lenient parent. I know that God is with us and I am thankful for that fact but still struggle with teaching my children proper submission-especially as they get older.
I’m praying for you fellow parent!!! It’s awesome you said “season” as I am working on a post, now, about purpose in your season! You’re right, God is with you every step. He destined you to be a parent! Submitting takes discipline and to properly teach discipline, you have to first submit! Thank you,Rosanna (love your name), for being vulnerable in your comment!
This is such an important reminder! thank you for sharing this. I have a 2 year old as well so this is really relevant!
Those 2’s! Oh boy! 🙂 Keep the faith, fellow Mama!
It is very hard to be consistent. I love your comment that obedience requires obedience. It’s so true that what I want my children to be is what I must model for them. And it’s not legalism that I need to model for them, but instead constant submission of myself to God’s will. It’s praying and listening to God throughout my day, it’s speaking to them in a voice that I want to hear them use, it’s choosing to obey God’s commands to seek and trust him over my desire to go my own way. Very convicting.
Great way to put it, Bethany! Thank you! Yes, every single one of us struggles to bow to God in all we do, but it’s great to be aware our responsibility to model this for our children!
I do my best to better my obedience to God through a daily calendar I keep on my windowsill above the kitchen sink. Each day it has a verse from the bible and it brings me closer to Him every day.
Great idea, Carley! I made a few signs and put them in strategic places to remind me throughout the day, but I never thought of a revolving calendar! Thank you for the advice!
Thank you for the beautiful reminder that my Heavenly Father knows more than I do what I need.
Amen! Thank you, Bailey!
This is my favorite part! It’s such a beautiful truth – albeit hard to live out! Thank you for sharing your heart, even when it’s hard. I know I need to hear this on the regular.
“We have to LIVE in obedience without wavering. We have to speak the truth of God. We have to completely submerge our whole existence in God’s living word! This is the most important assignment the Lord has given his followers and ultimately those he has bestowed parenthood upon.”
You’re right, Jessica! It is so hard to live by. And 100% true obedience is unobtainable, but like any other situation, God sees our hearts; our desire to surrender our lives to His perfect will. Our longing to be what He calls us! And He sees our willingness to allow the Holy Spirit to be our helper!
Exactly! We have to model obedience for our children to understand what that looks like. Even though it seems like it’s easier now to give in and not maintain those boundaries, if we give in now, it will only make matters worse later.
Yes! I always try to remember that the long run doesn’t look great when I give in to disobedience (either for myself or for my children). Thank you, Kristi!