I Got Screwed: Changing Our Perspective When Life Isn’t Fair

I got screwed. We all know what it feels like to have something unfair happen to us. We may need to change our perspective.

Here’s What Happened…

I’ve been running in this trail race series all year. It’s 6 races and you get points for whatever place you come in. Then at the end of the year they name an overall winner. Today was the fifth race and it was a 10K. So far I have come in 2nd place overall female 3 times, and 3rd place once. I felt like I would never get to come in first. Until today! I felt so good. Perfect weather, hubby running with me, and feeling good at a solid 7:30-7:45/mile pace. I was in first, with a solid lead. I was telling myself to not get too excited. Stay calm. Stay focused. And then it all slipped away.

We were suppose to be following yellow course signs. No problem. The course would be well marked they said. Well with about 3/4 of a mile left to go, there was a course sign that pointed left. Or so I thought. After realizing that I ran a complete loop, we figured out that the arrow was pointing the wrong way. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! I was so angry. SO SO SO very angry. I had a good lead, but not that much. The other people apparently knew that the course didn’t go that way (although there were a few others that made the same mistake we did). I don’t know what place I actually ended up coming in at. It was too heart-breaking.

And then…

At the end, we did tell the race director, but all he could say was “sorry”. I then proceeded to vent to my sweet friend that was there as a volunteer because she hurt her Achilles. She understood, and shared my frustration with me, but I gotta say, she is so much nicer than me. She was feeling concern about people getting hurt out there because they wouldn’t be expecting that extra distance. That didn’t even occur to me. So as I was sulking, hubby says “keep it in perspective.” Not exactly what I want to hear. I was in a foul mood.

We leave to go get brunch (because crepes and lattes will improve anyones mood), and I tell him that I didn’t want to hear “keep it in perspective.” He further explained that I was totally right to be frustrated. He was frustrated too. It was really wrong what happened and poor on the race organization to not have it better marked. His point was, “don’t hurt anyone in your frustration.” Wow. What an insightful thought. My words can be really sharp, and that was very kind of him to try to calm me down before I could do damage.

So I’ve been pondering this, and I have some thoughts that I would like to share.

Thoughts…

First, I was happy that my kids weren’t there to see how I was acting. I definitely was not setting a good example. There have been many times that my older son has gotten angry because something wasn’t fair. And I’ve said to him “life is not fair” many times. I thought that I need to remember this feeling of  life not being fair so that I can relate. It’s okay to feel frustration and disappointment, but are we going to hurt ourselves or others while we are pouting and throwing a tantrum?

Secondly, I began to realize that I was not mad I had to run further; I was mad that I didn’t come in first. What I wanted was recognition; A pat on the back. An “atta boy” as my father-in-law says. Wow, that’s petty. It’s not like there was a cash prize, or even a medal for that matter. Maybe I’ll have a piece of humble pie to go with my latte.

Finally, I did start to put it in perspective. I started to think of the things in life that truly aren’t fair. Yesterday a friend found out her mom has breast cancer. Screwed. Today a family member is going to spend time with a dear friend who has a rare type of cancer and can no longer take care of herself. Screwed. After the race my sweet friend told me of a guy that had a freak mountain bike accident and died. Screwed. On the way home I found out another friends sister is in the ER because a truck ran a red light. Screwed. When we got home our babysitter told us she just learned she can’t have children and has a mass in her brain. Screwed and screwed.

Thankful…

Life really isn’t fair. But we can still be thankful. I’m thankful for my husband that loves me enough to call me out. I am thankful for friends that make me want to be a better person. I’m thankful for where I live. And my health. And the ability to run.

I’m happy with my race today. I figure I just came in first in my 11K.

xoxo