Life is full of trials and tribulations. We are all struggling. How do we handle those times when nothing is going right? When we feel like a failure, because we can’t seem to get it right?
A few years ago, my husband had to go out of town for work. And let me just say, I know I have it good that this rarely happens (although it is starting to happen more often). I depend heavily on my hubby and I don’t mind admitting it. Anyhow, this one time, he left town Sunday afternoon. That evening was alright because my dad and step-mom were visiting and I was enjoying my time with them. That night however….
The end of ourselves…
It started with the fact that I had a nasty cough and couldn’t get to sleep until around 12:30. At 3:45 I awoke to the sound of foot steps running down the hall. My older son came barging in telling me that my younger son was throwing up. Wonderful. I hurry and rush to their room to find my 3 year old sitting in a puddle of vomit. But here’s the thing, we had just made bunk beds for the boys and naturally my older son got the top bunk. My younger son is such a snuggle bug, that he would wait for his brother to fall asleep and then crawl into bed with him. So my poor older son woke up with his little brother throwing up in his bed. And this poor, pregnant mama had to clean up the vomit on a top bunk.
When I got into the room I went in to triage mode. What had to be done first? What was most urgent? First, clean it off the floor. Gross. Then, get my son out of the bed, strip him down, and put him in the bathroom to clean him up. Then, get my older son set up on the couch since his bed was not longer suitable for sleeping. Younger son was put back into his bed. Then the clean up began. Seriously, trying to clean this up on the top bunk while almost 6 months pregnant – no easy task.
At 4:15 I made it back to my bed, but not before walking full speed into the corner of the wall. I had a goose-egg and bruise on my forehead for a week. Once in bed, I hear my younger son up again. He wants to hug. And his belly hurts. Let’s go hug in the bathroom. After getting sick again, I went back to bed and began to pray that my other son and I would be spared from whatever this was. I could not get sick, especially not with my husband out of town. Sleep was pointless since I would have to wake up in less than an hour. The next day was sure to be interesting since my folks were going to be leaving and I would be on my own.
Failure…
It was actually quite comical the amount of things that went wrong the first 24 hours my husband was gone, but I was quite pleased with myself on how I was handling it. I was calm and compassionate with my boys. I was even able to get everything done that needed plus some.
It was the next day that I blew it. I had an all-out-3-year-old-style temper tantrum. And I knew in that moment that I failed. This got me thinking. Could I not have failed? Were there steps or precautions I could have taken? What about things I could have told myself to stay calm? Absolutely. I recognized that the hour before bedtime was my most challenging time of the day, so I gave myself a count down. I only had to stay calm for another 45 minutes. And I gave the boys a countdown. Ten minutes to clean up, ten minutes to get bathed, 2 minutes to brush teeth, and then read a book. Once I implemented the plan, the rest of the week went smoothly.
Receiving grace…
It was alright, maybe even necessary to fail. Without failing, we won’t know what change we need. We won’t learn. We won’t grow. I still believe this to be true, but my lesson in failing wasn’t over. A few weeks later, I failed again. I then began to think that I CAN’T pass the test. I will never, ever, ever get it right.
See, I believe there is such a thing as “sin” and wouldn’t you know it, we all suffer from it. The world is consumed with it actually. And even more of a bummer is that I can’t fix it on my own. But see, I also believe there is such a thing as “grace” and thankfully we all can access it.
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
2 Corinthian 12:9, ESV
So now, when I feel the rising anger, I try to remember to take a moment and pause. I thank Jesus for the grace He gives me because He bore my sin of losing my temper. And then I thank Him for the Holy Spirit that promises to give us a spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness. That’s the the mom, wife, and friend that I desire to be. It is then that I am able to go to my children and teach them and correct their behavior and show them love. It is then that I am, yet again, changed by grace.
Without failing, we won't know what change we need. We won't learn. We won't grow. I still believe this to be true, but my lesson in failing wasn't over. Click To Tweet
I love how we published such a similar article on both our sites today! I’ve been learning failure reveals my need for God, so I’m trying to welcome it more in my life. Not in the sense of giving up so I fail purposefully, but when it inevitably happens, cutting myself some slack and remembering God’s glory can still shine in that moment!
I thought that was great, too! I have even found that there is freedom in failure. It takes the pressure off!!
And I thought I was the only one who experienced problem upon a problem when my husband travels for work! Grace is such a blessing because we blow it so much, don’t we?!? With our fellow man and with God. So glad He extends us an ocean of grace!
It is kinda crazy all the stuff that goes wrong! Last year, he left town, all 3 kids got the flu, and I was trying to finalize a tenant for our rental house. That was crazy stressful! And yes, oceans of grace!