Do You Trust Me?

This past winter my boys were thrilled that we had a significant snowfall here in South Carolina. Especially my oldest. He loves the snow and misses living in Chicago where snow was a guarantee each winter. And to make things even better, my parents were in town for it. In addition to snow, my oldest loves breakfast. It has now become an expected thing that he gets to have “second breakfast” with his grandparents when they get up and going.

The morning of the snow he was completely torn. He wanted to play in the snow, and he wanted to have second breakfast, but in his mind it didn’t look like he could do both. I encouraged him to go outside and play, knowing that he would still be able to sit and eat with them when he came back in. He, however, was in a panic trying to figure out how he could have both things. What I said to him was, “Do you trust me?” He responded with some protest and “buts” so I said again, “Do you trust me? Do you trust that I have good things for you?” And in that moment, I heard the Lord speaking to me, “Do you trust ME?”

I am no different than my son. I want to have it all, and will stress myself out trying to manipulate the situation so that I get my way. I think that I want to control things, but in reality I am unable to do so. And honestly, I cannot handle the pressure of being in control. I have to trust the Lord. If I truly believe that He has good things for me, then I can trust Him to take care of me.

My Past and Current Season

A few months ago I was sharing my heart with a new friend, and she was asking at what point God became real to me. It was a great question that really got me thinking. All relationships go through different stages, and a relationship with Christ is no different. The years we lived in Chicago were tough. To be honest, I was angry with Him. But I truly believe that that was alright. I may have been yelling, but at least we were talking. Maybe you have heard the quote, “The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference.” That kind of sums up my relationship with Christ for that season.

Then when we moved to Greenville, I felt like all my prayers were answered. My anxiety melted away, I liked people again, and my soul was able to rest. My relationship with Christ became loving once again. When I came to that thought, I gasped. I realized that I am a spoiled brat. It was not until I got my way, that I was happy with the Lord. And in that moment I could hear Him whisper, “Your time of rest is coming to an end. Do you trust me?”

Since it was finalized that we will be moving, I have been struggling with trying to understand. There have been so many wonderful connections and open doors recently, and it has left me confused. My life has been seeming to unfold the way I had envisioned it. I have felt like I am doing what I am suppose to be doing and am where I am suppose to be. Through tears, I have submitted that I am simply just not required to understand. I am required to be obedient. And obedience requires trust.

The weeks leading up to getting our house on the market to sell were extremely stressful because I had a long to-do list and little time. It was on me to get the stuff done. Sometimes stress is reality in certain seasons of life. Once the house went on the market, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. I had done all that I could do, and now it is out of my control. All I can do now is pray for a buyer. Now I have to trust.

I’m no longer feeling overwhelmed, but I am having to fight feeling discouraged. See, we haven’t had a single showing. Not one. And I can hear Him saying, “Do you trust me?” And several times a day I have to say out loud, “I trust you, Lord.”

Final Thought

Trust is not an emotion. It’s a choice that does not require me to understand. And it is one that I am very aware of at this moment. My family is entering a new season, and we must trust. Things may not go as planned, but I will trust. I will trust that it is not about me, or my comfort. I will trust that He wants good things for me, but that may mean being uncomfortable. I will trust Him.

What are you trusting for?

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation. Isaiah 12:2 ESV

xoxo