Attraction to people who have strengths that balance our weaknesses leads to healthy relationships and deeper community. Together, with our differences, we are whole.
The other evening I was enjoying a soul-warming cup of tea with a friend, and having soul-warming conversation. In our conversation I was explaining a bit about myself. I find that it can be helpful in new friendships to just lay it out from the beginning. This way, it is less likely to have unmet expectations.
I was sharing with her how I am a dive-in-head-first kind of person. If I have an idea that I am excited about, I just go with it, even if I have no clue what I’m doing. I much prefer to learn as I go. Somewhere along the way I have given myself permission to make mistakes, to quit if it isn’t right, and to refine as I go. But I also know that this can be dizzying to those around me.
My friend sat there smiling sweetly at me, and told me that she needed people like me in her life. Unlike myself, she tends to overthink her ideas and has been known to talk herself out of things. A wave of relief washed over me, because I need people like her in my life. Actually, looking back over my life, most of the people I surround myself with are quite different from me.
Attraction: Appreciating the Differences
My husband is my steady constant. He is the engine that keeps me going. When my crazy dreams start to become overwhelming, he reels me back in and reminds me to slow down. When I am thinking discouraging thoughts, he encourages me to push through. And when the day to day of my dream feels boring, he reminds me of the goal.
Most of my friends are quiet, and introverted. I crave their calmness, it comforts my heart. They are the wine to my coffee. When my mind is racing, they remind me of the course I am on. When I am feeling shaky, they remind me of my foundation. And when I have a new idea, they cheer me on by thinking of details I am probably missing.
Perhaps you are like myself, and enjoy life being one big adventure after another. I absolutely understand the addiction to adrenaline and the power of endorphins! You and I would have it no other way. It does get exhausting though, doesn’t it? This is why we need calm and constant surrounding us.
Perhaps you are the steady constant one. Let me assure you, you are a strong support system for those around you. But your weakness may be that you find it difficult to move forward. Knowing this about yourself, you can be intentional about having those people in your life to push you out of your comfort zone. It is uncomfortable to take those steps, but this is where the most growth happens.
Attraction: Finding Strength for Our Weaknesses
When we know who God created us to be, we can be confident in our strengths. We don’t need to apologize for being who we are. But it’s not only our strength that we can be confident in. We can also be confident in our weakness. When we know our weaknesses, we can pull from the strengths of others. This is community. This is the body of Christ.
Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.
1 Corinthians 12:4-7, ESV
Think about the people in your life. Do you find that they balance you, or do you find yourself in competition? Attraction to people who are opposite typically occurs naturally. But it is also wise to be intentional in the relationships we pursue.
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My husband and I are pretty opposite and we balance each other out quite nicely! God sure knew what he was doing when he put us together 🙂
Having your spouse balance you out is such a blessing!
I love this! It is so nice to have people around you that help to balance you. I like to think the hubs and I balance each other well.
It is so nice to be balanced by a spouse! I couldn’t imagine having to deal with someone like myself all the time!!
I love this: “When we know our weaknesses, we can pull from the strengths of others. This is community. This is the body of Christ.”
We can’t do it all. It’s only pride to think we can. Personally, I am a perfectionist and I *want* to be able to do it all. But fortunately I have learned to acknowledge that I can’t, and that’s totally okay! It’s a good thing to have friends, knowing that we really *need* them. Together we can grow closer as the body of Christ. Thank you for your post!
Oh my goodness, you totally hit the nail on the head. I too struggle with wanting to do it all, and struggle with confusing help with criticism. It’s so twisted, but I’m learning that the more we are just honest about it, the more the struggle dissolves.
This is so so true! I think about my boyfriend, am I an introvert and he’s the extrovert but I feel like we compliment each other. He pushes me to step out of my comfort zone when he knows I need it.
We definitely need people to give us a push! That’s wonderful that you have someone to balance you!!
Can I just tell you how much I love this post!? This is me all the way. I dive head-first even if I don’t know all of what I’m doing, I like to get creative and then Shortly after I may lose interest. In the past I’ve criticize myself for my shortcomings, but I have come to realize that God uses All of Me. This post is such a great confirmation, and encouragement.
YesYesYes!! He uses all of you!! Isn’t that just the coolest??!!?? I love that you love this post!
This is great. It helps me to see why I balance out with some people. I tend to be introverted, but I like to talk as well. When I come together with an extroverted person, they pull me out and we strike up great balance. I need this in my life since my family moves a lot and we are constantly meeting new people. Thank you for this post.
Oh yes, moving definitely forces us to learn how to connect with people! Thank you Maryann for reading!
My husband and I are definitely opposites – he is so extroverted and I am more an ambivert (converted from introvert out of necessity). This is such a poignant look at balancing our strengths and weaknesses.
Thank you Amy!
I always look down on my weaknesses, but as you said they can be helpful to others that are missing it. This was encouraging and inspiring to read!
Some weaknesses can be strengthened over time, but I don’t think God created us to be able to do it all. Then we wouldn’t need community, or Him! Celebrate your weaknesses!
I would say my husband definitely keeps me balanced as we are total opposites in many things and definitely way of thinking. I go all in and he thinks it through before proceeding. I love how you point it how this can beneficial to both sides of the spectrum:)
You and your husband sound a lot like me and mine!
Having a balance and helping to balance another person is so important. As a therapist, I have to read the other person and become what they are not and what they need. My presentation is quite different depending upon who I have in my office. But this has to be a gentle balance based off of love and compassion for the other person. I thank God everyday for my husband, who is my steady rock which allows me to be exactly who I am.
I think you make a fantastic therapist! That is wonderful that you provide that strength and encouragement to your clients.
It is so important to not hide our weaknesses or believe we have to be strong in every area before we allow ourselves to work in a certain area. If we wait it will never happen, but if, like you encourage, delight in the strengths of others and allow them to overcome our weakness, we will all be the better for it!
It really take a lot of pressure off of ourselves!
I do tend to get on better with opposites and my husband is one of them. We balance each other in most situations but you can’t be 100% perfect right?!
You are exactly right! I am thankful to have others pick up where I lack!