Life is full of unplanned detours and painful pieces. So, how do we handle life when it doesn’t turn out the way we planned?
Remember the 1994 movie “Forrest Gump?” Among the many quotables, Gump uttered the famous line: “Momma said life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.” Those words could perhaps be the subject matter of a college exit course, especially for the students who think they have their lives mapped out…
Unplanned Detours…
My husband and I attended a birthday party for the 32-year-old, handicapped daughter of some long-time friends of ours. This child came out of the womb with a heart condition, but mentally sound. However, due to complications and lack of oxygen during heart surgery days later, her brain was then affected. She is the youngest of three. Our friends did not have taking care of a multiple-handicapped child in their life plan, but you know what? They adjusted. They sacrificed, worked extra hours and extra years. I’ve never heard one complaint from their lips. Their other 2 children, and now their sons-in-law and grandchildren love her deeply. Life without her can’t be imagined, despite the hardship. And one day, when mom and dad are gone, one of those sisters will take over her care.
A reunion was held at the church where Gary and I grew up and raised our children. We saw many old friends, some who have experienced great hardships since we have last seen them. One woman had been in a motorcycle accident and lost her leg two years ago, but stood before me thanking God that her life was spared. Another friend who had dated my brother-in-law decades ago is now running a business while taking care of a husband and a grandmother who both have dementia!
I have a chronic medical condition. Symptoms began not long after I started a career/ministry I loved – definitely not in my plans. For a while after I was diagnosed, I stopped participating in life, but not completely because of my illness. I was more limited by the meaning I had assigned to the illness and the power I gave the meaning.
Painful Pieces…
The reality of life is this – it isn’t only to be lived by well people, or people who have their lives going as planned, or the super intelligent or the super spiritual.
In the early stages of my illness, (and sometimes during tough seasons!) I did not choose life in whatever form God chose to give it. I wanted to pick and choose the life I wanted.
Rachel Remen, M.D. said in her beautiful book, Kitchen Table Wisdom:
When I accepted certain parts of life and denied and ignored the rest, I could only see my life a piece at a time – the happiness of a success or a time of celebration, or the ugliness and pain of a loss or a failure I was trying hard to put behind me out of sight…We are always putting the pieces together without knowing the picture ahead of time. I have been with many people in times of profound loss and grief when an unsuspected meaning begins to emerge from the fragments of their lives. Over time, this meaning has proven itself to be durable and trustworthy, even transformative. It is a kind of strength that never comes to those who deny their pain.
Life involves many types of pain; you don’t have to have many years under your belt to know this. It is in our flesh-nature to avoid/ignore pain, to hide it from others when we can, or to rage against it as unfair, but we are sojourners and exiles in this world (1 Peter 2:11). Paul warned us in 2 Corinthians that things would become wearisome here.
For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling... For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened – not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.
2 Corinthians 5:2-4, ESV
Choose Life…
When God told the Israelites in Deuteronomy 30:11-19, to “choose life,” do you think they had been listening for the previous two chapters? I ask because, in my opinion, God spelled it out very clearly what would happen if they walked with Him and obeyed Him, or what the consequences would be if they didn’t. However, it doesn’t seem as though they were prepared for the latter years of trials.
Despite how clearly pain and trials are delineated in Scripture, I fear that many Christians today are not well prepared for the Life to which they are called, either. Hardships, pain, and trials arrive and some become shell-shocked and believe God has thrown them overboard. However, Jesus succinctly warned in John 16:33 (ESV): I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
His disciples were clear on this point; in 2 Timothy 2:3, Paul invites Timothy to join him in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. Suffering was a given.
Keys to Accepting…
I believe the keys to accepting the life God gives us each day is hidden in the Deuteronomy 30:11-20 passage. God said that it isn’t too mysterious for you, nor is it far off…but the word is very near you, in your mouth and in your heart, that you may do it (v. 11).
I love that – I can hear Him saying, “People! This isn’t rocket science!”
…I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days…
Deuteronomy 30:19-20, NKJV
The Keys…
- Choose life
- Love the Lord your God
- Obey His voice
- Cling to Him
Don’t wait for a new life. Live this one boldly as you cling to Him.
The reality of life is this - it isn't only to be lived by well people, or people who have their lives going as planned, or the super intelligent or the super spiritual. Click To Tweet
