tragedy

This is a tribute to a very special street full of very special people…

We are told to love our neighbors. This can mean anyone who has a need, but it also means those in our actual neighborhood.

The street I live on is like no other. Currently, our church is doing a series on how to invest in our neighbors and being intentional in developing relationships with them. Our small group did an exercise to see how many neighbors we knew by name, other than, “dog-walker guy”. I won. I could name the adults and the children. Only 2 houses on our entire street did I not know, but one of those I could still name the kids.

We have a party for Halloween. A party for Christmas. And of course a party for Cinco de Mayo. On any random night, there are ladies sitting out on their porches drinking wine. My neighbor has been a life-saver for me on more than one occasion. If someone is sick, there’s a sign-up for meals. If someone has a loss in the family, we pitch in with cutting the grass.

This is a tight-knit community we stumbled upon a year and a half ago. And now it is even tighter. How many people tell their neighbors, “I appreciate you, and I love you.” I have. And I mean it. Tragedy has a way of doing that. Yes, a very tragic thing has happened.

One of our families is gone. Literally, the entire family is gone. The dad, the mom, the 10-year-old daughter, and the 8-year-old son all killed in a car accident. There is a void in our little community. Their truck sits there in the driveway teasing us that this is all a bad dream and they will be home later this evening.

This father and son are the ones who came over to introduce themselves when we were looking at the house. The son and my boys spent the rest of the time playing soccer in our not-yet yard. The boy was barefoot. He was always, always barefoot. We had not even put an offer on the house yet, and already we felt connected.

This son is who my son had his first fight with. They never held that against one another. They knew where the other one stood. And they forgave. And they forgot. Amidst all the laughing, trampoline jumping, Nerf-gun battling, fort building…they forgot their grievances, and just enjoyed one another. They were…friends.

I never got to know the parents or the daughter well. It was the little boy who stole the show with my boys, and on our street. He was a daily part of our lives. So much so that every night my 3-year-old prays for him and his mom and dad. She still does. I told her he doesn’t live there anymore. She asked where he lives now. I told her, “heaven”.

Continually my thoughts go to how merciful it was that they all went together. Those parents were totally devoted to their kids. Even to the point of building a Ninja Warrior course for his birthday, only to take it down the next week. Gotta be honest, there is no way I would do that. If either of the parents had survived without their children, I don’t think they could have borne it. Yes, merciful indeed.

Love your neighbors…

The timing of our church pressing the importance of community could not be any more appropriate.

You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.

Mark 12: 30-31, NLT

A lot of us hide behind the excuse that all of the world is our neighbor. We would rather donate to a child in Ethiopia than give to our neighbor’s Cub Scout Troupe. We’ll donate to a soup kitchen but won’t take a meal when our neighbor’s mother has passed away.

“And who is my neighbor?”

Luke 10:29, NIV

And this isn’t wrong! Everyone can be our neighbor. I’ve heard this passage about the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) explains that our “neighbor” is anyone who has a need. But what if we truly did invest in the lives of our actual neighbors?

Previously, I have felt reluctance to get close with neighbors because what if they see my crazy, and decide that we are “those” neighbors. But what if we can live out the crazy, being honest, and show them that Christ loves us, and them, despite the crazy?

Perhaps sharing life with our neighbors not only means we can extend love, but also perhaps we can receive love. I guarantee my neighbor can hear me when I blow my lid. How humbling, and freeing, that she still wants to be around me. To have my crazy exposed, and still be accepted? Hmm, that kinda sounds like grace.

It is because of this grace, this love in-spite of crazy, that I know I will always make space in my life for my neighbor. And room in my heart for a little, soccer-playing, barefoot boy. I hope you will do the same.

Tragedy leaves us overcome with grief. How can we keep standing, praising, and trusting? Is God even there? Does He even listen to our cries?

There was another school shooting. It rocks me to my core every time I hear about children in school not being safe. As a teacher, and mother, I know that this is my worst nightmare.

I remember Columbine. God has had miracles come from that tragedy. At one school where I taught, we took part in Rachel’s Challenge.

I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go.

Rachel Scott, victim of Columbine High School massacre

Her family loved her and remembers her by trying to stop people from being left out, bullied or ostracized in the hopes that they never feel the need to pick up a gun and kill.

I remember Virginia Tech. There are now much better warning systems on all college campuses to alert students to danger. And as the mother of a college student I am grateful for that.

I remember Sandy Hook. There are not enough tears to cry for that senseless act. The babies that died that day and the adults who shielded as many as they could will forever haunt my dreams. But that community came together and supported each other in such amazing ways.

Now I have to say I remember Parkland, Florida.

So where is God in the middle of all this madness? Does he really want his children to suffer? He has to be here somewhere. He has to have a hand in this somehow. After all, He promised he would never abandon us. We cry out, “BUT WHERE IS HE?”

Grief and Praise

In times like this I return to Job. Everything was taken from him within a few moments. His servants and sons dead. His livestock stolen or killed. And what does Job do…he grieves and praises God.

When Job heard this, he got up, tore his clothes and shaved his head to show his sadness. Then he fell to the ground to bow down before God and said, ‘When I was born into this world, I was naked and had nothing. When I die and leave this world, I will be naked and have nothing. The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Praise the name of the Lord!

Job 1:20-21, ERV

Horrible things happen. God doesn’t always intercede. I can’t tell you why. I just know that there is never a moment when He isn’t with us.

Standing Through Tragedy

As the story of Job continues we see that Satan is telling God that humans will not stand with him when tragedy strikes. They will turn their backs and blasphemy His name. But God has faith in his children and tells Satan to do his worst, but to spare Job’s life.

Satan put sores all over poor Job, he was grieving, he was in physical pain, he sat in ashes and used broken pottery to scratch at the sores. But his friends came and sat with him to offer comfort.

Then they sat on the ground with Job for seven days and seven nights. They didn’t say a word, because they saw he was in so much pain.

Job 2:13, ERV

Job does cry out eventually. He begs God to end his torment and let him die. He questions God, “Why was I even born if this is what You had planned for me?”

How many times have we done that? Questioned our Creator? I fully admit to asking him “Why?” and being angry when I didn’t get an answer.

Are You There God?

Most of Job’s friends and family weren’t much better. His wife tells him to curse God. His friends say he has to have been up to no good. They thought, “God is paying you back.”

Not true. God is there in the tragedy holding our hands, lifting us up if we let Him, but never pushing us down. He can use these times, just like He did with Job to show us how He is always there. We must trust in Him to see us through.

Job is blessed to have a great friend who will speak truth to him and who loves God wholeheartedly. Elihu tells Job, you are not innocent, no one is. But he tells the friends they can’t accuse someone of something when they have no knowledge of it. They cannot blame God.

Job, God is not only powerful, but he is fair.

Job 34:17, ERV

He does not respect leaders more than other people. And he does not respect the rich more than the poor. God made everyone. Any of us can die suddenly, in the middle of the night. Anyone can get sick and pass away.

Job 34:19-20, ERV

The Answer to Every Question

God, Himself, then enters the picture. He reminds Job that He is the creator. He has made everything, and everything exists because of God. God then tells the story of Leviathan in Job 41. If we see Leviathan as Satan we can see that God is telling us that only He can control Satan. He is a deadly enemy and we must arm ourselves with God and His Word. Only with His help can we escape the clutches of Satan.

Job and his friends repent and pray to God. God forgives them.

When these moments of tragedy happen we can’t rage against God or blame Him. God loves us. He is our Father and Creator. Find a friend who can help you seek truth and God. We all know that evil exists. Bad stuff happens, but faithfully accepting that our Father is there in the tragedy will help ease the suffering.

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Facing God’s Truth

Now here is the hard part about tragedy. We have to acknowledge if we played a part in it. This could be a blind eye that was turned, a cultural norm that goes against God that we have let slip by, a friend we weren’t true to, or a warning we ignored. Yes, there are times we didn’t play a part, but just as often we are complicit because we let society dictate its own mores. Humans are weak and flawed. God is not. We have to be the friend who stands up and tells the truth, no matter the consequences because we know that God speaks through truth.

Dear God,

Please open our eyes to Your Word. Help us align ourselves with You and put more faith in You than in the world. Let us be leaders of the Light of truth that comes from being Your followers. Thank You for guiding us through tragedy and never leaving our side. Give us the courage and wisdom to speak Your will.

Love,

Are you facing your own tragedy?

We would love to offer our support by praying with and for you.

Neighborhood: Loving Our Neighbors Through Tragedy