thrive – Oh Lord Help Us

shaping, pruning, attack, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian mentoring, spiritual growth, women of faith

Shaping: Rest in the God Who Prunes the Ones He Loves

Devotionals, Stay SaneAugust 2, 2018July 30, 2019

Resting in Jesus feels wild; almost unsafe, especially when we feel like things are being stripped away. But relinquishing control to the One who lovingly prunes us to produce even more growth is the only true safety we will ever know.

The dream…

It was 8 to 10 years in the future. I was visiting my daughters who had moved back to our hometown. They shared a quaint little house in Old Louisville. The yard boasted a beautiful flower garden, ornate grape vines and a handful of dogwood and pear trees. When I arrived, we took a trip to pick up the spoils of their CSA shares, then we returned to their home and started fixing dinner. I looked outside at the sunset—a wild array of slate and cerulean blues hovering over a peachy inferno. I mused aloud how I had missed Kentucky sunsets.

While I looked on, white lightning spilt the sky, striking the heart of the sunset. Void of rain, the lightning continued to make contact with the earth, igniting a blaze that headed straight for the house. I told the girls we had to evacuate; they hurried to grab a few belongings. But as I glanced back out the window, the roaring wildfire had not only gone around the house, but the yard as well. The trees, the grass, the flowers in their garden…nothing was singed.

Back to reality…

When I awoke I played back the dream in my mind. Then a familiar verse from childhood sprung from memory:

A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not approach you.

Psalm 91:7, NASB

What a sweet assurance! I immediately began praising God for His guarantee to guard and guide His children. Even more, I can rejoice and wholly trust in the One who raises the dead to protect and secure the children God has entrusted to me while here on earth.

Piecing together…

Ironically, the morning after my dream the fire alarm tripped near the close of our church service. There was no fire, thankfully, and everyone evacuated the building safely. The Lord even held the rain that had been relentless for the previous 24 hours. As we stood waiting for the fire squad to clear the building, someone mentioned the cause being the enemy trying to mess things up. I thought, perhaps—but after seeing what God has done in my daughter Anna’s life, I am not as quick to witness negativity or even tragedy and say Oh; that’s the devil. Spiritual warfare? Maybe, but so much more I view things through the lens of God pruning to bear even more fruit as opposed to the devil dolling out body blocks.

God is always working…

Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.

John 15:2, ESV

Confession…

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard and read John 15:2. But it wasn’t until I wrote it out last week that I caught the wording. I have been reading it incorrectly for years! My brain deceived me. You see, I thought it said: every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does not bear fruit He prunes. It sounded repetitive, but hey, maybe Jesus just wanted to drive it home. However, I added a “not” in my brain. The second part of that verse says: “and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” Pruning is not punishment. Its purpose is to bring about even more blessing, more glory, greater victory.

Let’s go back to the supposition that the devil is lurking around every corner to ambush us. The bible clearly says to be on the alert.

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8, ESV

The devil is always looking for someone to trap and deceive for all eternity. And if he’s lost the eternal battle, at the very least he wants to obliterate our faith in God and render us useless for the kingdom. The devil seeks to shake us up to the point of forsaking our reliance on Christ. However, Satan has no power over followers of Jesus Christ. And Romans tells us to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil.

We grant authority to whomever we trust. The devil has no authority over any Christian, except the authority we grant him by believing him.

John Bloom

The devil seeks to shake us up to the point of forsaking our reliance on Christ. However, Satan has no power over followers of Jesus Christ. Click To Tweet

Abiding in the Vine…

I have about two dozen house plants. They all have names and I may or may not talk to them. (Okay; I do.) My first encounter with pruning came about a few years ago. My friend Katy gifted me a beautiful succulent with bright yellow flowers one Sunday morning. Months later, after all the blooms had withered, the plant (whom I’d named after it’s giver) failed to thrive. I tried giving her more water, then less water, but her growth was halted and she began to look feeble. After researching I found the answer. Cut the plant down to its base, set it in a dark room and leave it alone for a month with no water. WHAT?! That sounded wildly barbaric! But what choice did I have? She was dying anyway. So, I followed the instructions and left her cut down and dry in the dark for 30 days.

When I went to retrieve Katy on the 31^st day I was surprised and delighted to find vibrant green leaves shooting up! To this day she is double in size and still thriving. Now, when I read John 15, I am reminded of my sweet little plant and how we as the branches are completely dependent on the true Vine. For that purpose, we are invited to remain joined to Jesus. And as we are pruned and receive nourishment from Him, we grow stronger and more vibrant and God is glorified.

Wild Vines…

I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

John 15:5-8, MSG

The next time something wild happens, I will look to see how God is working through the madness. And I pray I remember He is ever seeking to bring about true joy in children and full glory to Himself.

Annie Spratt

In Her Corner, episode 5

In Her Corner, Stay SaneMay 1, 2016June 5, 2016

This is a series to learn about different moms and their different situations. Through interviewing these women and sharing their stories I hope that we can all have a better understanding and appreciation of each other. Hopefully we can support and encourage her “in her corner.”

Who she is…

A single mom of two, working 3 different jobs in order to make ends meet. Trying to maintain time with her children while she works a hectic schedule. Living a life fueled by grace. Using her God-given gifts to encourage and motivate others. She gets it all done by waking early and staying up late.

“Honestly, some days I’m running on 4 hours of sleep and lots of coffee!”

Where she has been…

To understand the life she now lives, we must understand the life she has lived. She did not grow up with a father present, and her mother worked most of the time in order to provide. Because of this, there was not much supervision in their home, and this provided an environment that allowed her to be sexual abused by a sibling for several years. It was this time in her life that she learned how to “wear a mask” and put on an act that everything was fine.

“It’s just too painful to tell people how you really feel or what things are really going on.”

She was angry. Angry at her mother for not protecting her and for not stopping the abuse. Angry at her earthly father for leaving and not being there. And angry at her heavenly Father for allowing any of it. As a young adult, she accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior and realized that the grace God had extended to her, she had to extend to others. So, with God’s help, she forgave. She forgave her mother, knowing that she was just doing the best she could with what she had. She has forgiven her father, understanding now that he needed to leave because of addictions that he didn’t want to expose his family to. And she has forgiven her abuser even though remorse has never been expressed on their part. She still has scars that are not fully healed, but she is living by grace day by day.

Shortly after becoming a follower of Christ, she met her husband. And shortly after that, they were married. They both came from broken homes. Neither of them knew what a healthy family looked like.

“We were just putting together what we thought would be a good family with the broken pieces we had.”

A year into the marriage she started to see some red flags. It started with verbal abuse, being told she was lazy, a slob, and a horrible mom.

“My first Mother’s Day he didn’t get me anything. He said I didn’t deserve anything because I wasn’t a good mom.”

Unfortunately, she believed these comments. Then she found out she was expecting again. She was panicked. She already felt overwhelmed with one child, how was she going to be able to handle two? While she was pregnant, he was deployed. And even though this meant she had to handle things on her own, life was easier.

She found a good, supportive church and was mentored by other women, finally seeing what a godly woman and mother look like. She learned that it was alright to make mistakes, that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. She was learning the difference between conviction and condemnation. She was refreshed.

Her husband returned from overseas, coming home with PTSD. He was very withdrawn, and became easily angered. At this point he became physically abusive. She thought about walking away from the marriage then, but he wanted to make things right. They went to counseling, and even though it did seem to help, he was not as open about his own issues and made it seem to the counselor that the problems they were having were her fault.

Through all of this, she presented herself as happy in front of others. She made it appear that they had the perfect marriage. She lied to others in order to protect him, even though it put herself at risk. She wore the mask that she created as a child.

“You may love somebody, but they shouldn’t hurt you and you shouldn’t protect them if they are hurting you.”

Due to the PTSD, he was not able to find work. She, however, found a part-time job that she was able to find fulfillment in. The problem was, he did not want her to work. He accused her of trying to escape her duties at home and that she would neglect the cooking and cleaning. He finally agreed with her working as long as the money was going into their joint account.

As time went on, he became more and more controlling. He accused her of over spending and said that she could not be trusted with a debit card. So he put her on an allowance, which is what she used to buy food, and diapers for 2 small children. If she ran out of money and needed more, then he made her perform sexual favors. She had hit a new low.

Things continued to get worse. Her children were starting to become aware of what was going on. She discovered that he was having an affair. He was addicted to pain pills. If the food wasn’t cooked right he would throw food at her face.

“We were falling apart. I was falling apart.”

When she told him that she was leaving, he became enraged, took her car, and left. When he returned, he attempted to force himself on her. Thankfully, she was able to fight him off, but in doing so, it woke the children. He left again, this time taking his own car. She grabbed the spare key (that she had previously hidden) to her car, packed up her children and went to live at a women’s shelter until she was able to step out on her own.

Her divorce has been finalized for about a year now.

“The struggle right now is to see what God is going to do next. I’m just surviving, and I’m ready to thrive.”

What her strengths are…

Even if she is having a bad day, she is able to put that aside and focus on the task at hand. She is able to laugh and play with her children, no matter what situation they are currently going through. She is constantly teaching her children to trust in God’s provision.

“It’s scary to be in the position where trusting in God is my only option, but it’s the best place to be.”

She is teaching them that trials bring steadfastness, and that He will bring them out of the storm. She is teaching them to be nice to everyone because you never know what others are dealing with or going through.

What her struggles are…

She finds it difficult to stop and listen to her children. She has so many things to do and not enough time. She finds herself always talking at them, telling them what they should or should not do.

She struggles with her current work schedule. She is currently looking for a full-time position so she can be there for her children and not work crazy shifts.

What her joys are…

When she see them learning from their trials. When they laugh. When they pray. When they’re sleeping!

“I told him [her son] it’s ok to start over, we just have to keep going. And he said to me, ‘I know, I see you doing it all the time.’ “

What her fears are…

That they will end up in an abusive relationship. And she fears that they will walk away from God. She doesn’t want them to become discouraged, seeing their dad who is not struggling at all.

How she stays sane…

She needs time alone. She loves being around others, encouraging them and ministering to them, but she feels exhausted when she gets home. She spends this time praying, and reading God’s Word, and being still.

“It’s very important to have my quiet time, otherwise I am a mommy monster!”

She has learned that it is alright to take care of herself, that she is not being selfish, and to not feel guilty.

What she wants others to know…

“I see other women in bad relationships, and they stay. I want them to understand that they don’t have to stay. You don’t have to have it all together, it’s ok to be broken.”

She encourages others to share their brokenness. She shares her weaknesses openly because she wants people to see that where she lacks is where God picks up the pieces and pulls her through.

Oh mommas! We never really know what others are dealing with. Let’s encourage one another, support one another, and love one another. Hang in there momma, you got this!

I learned so much from listening to this momma’s story. Let’s spread the encouragement by sharing her story with others. Her story might not be pretty, but God has redeemed it and made it beautiful!

Are you a momma that needs encouragement? Do you know someone that needs someone in her corner? I would love to meet her! Please feel free to contact me and we can chat.

xoxo

Thrive in the Mundane

Stay SaneJanuary 17, 2016January 29, 2016

I’m an adventure seeker, risk taker, and a dreamer. And I’ll admit it, I don’t mind a little drama every now and then. Where I struggle is when life is mundane. When it’s the same thing day after day after day. I do like routine, don’t get me wrong. It helps me not have to think so much. But I need a good challenge thrown in there with it.

Driving through the mountains is more enjoyable than driving through corn fields. But much of our life is like driving through the fields of Indiana. Straight and steady. With some windmills (I don’t know what they are an analogy for, it’s just the only thing that’s exciting on I-65).

Right now, I’m driving through Indiana. And I’m not even to the windmills yet. I don’t want to just survive the mundane life. I want to thrive.

Motherhood

This past week I have wanted to turn in my resignation. The only problem is, my job is being a mom. I love my children fiercely, but some ~~days~~ weeks I just want a break. I want to lay in bed and not change diapers, or feed other people, or wash more clothes. I don’t want to say, yet again, “be nice to your brother,” or “get your hands off the wall,” or “you need to help with the dishes.” Day in and day out. When will they ever learn?

How do I thrive?

I talk to people that are a step or two or twenty ahead of me. I need to know that there is a light at the end of this long tunnel. I need to know that I’m not alone. I need to know that it is not just me. And I need someone to laugh with at the ridiculousness of it all.

Faith

When life is mundane, my faith is truly tested. Not when facing trials. For me trials bring me closer to The Lord and closer to other people. But doing dishes, and laundry, and feeding children, and wiping noses (and butts), and doing life day after day makes it difficult to feel spiritual.

How do I thrive?

I meet with other believers. When I am in drought, I gleen from their wisdom. When I am unable to pray, I listen. When I am bored with my life, I encourage theirs. We were designed to live out our faith with others.

Marriage

Usually when we go through a period of time where we are just going through the motions, it ends with a bit of an explosion. This then results in good conversation, a deeper understanding of one another, and a closer bond. But I don’t want it to require getting to that point.

How do we thrive?

We should probably not turn the tv on after the kiddos go to bed, but to be honest, that’s all I want to do. I am mentally tired and I just want to drink a glass of wine, watch a silly show, and not think. I don’t want to have deep meaningful conversations every night. But I do want to be with him. So we made it a requirement to sit next to one another while watching a show. And preferably snuggle.

That works for the day to day, but we do need to be able to have deeper conversations and connect sometimes. And the kiddos cannot be there. They just can’t. This means having regular dates (night or day-we actually prefer morning dates). For us it’s once a month. That works with our budget and is typically enough to get us through the next few weeks.

Health

I can eat healthy for several days in a row, and then get so bored with it that I binge on hamburgers, fries, and milkshakes. And doughnuts. I can’t resist the doughnuts. Also, I can exercise regularly for a stretch of time, and then completely lose interest in it.

How do I thrive?

“If we do the same thing we will get the same thing.” This is what my health role model always says. Pretty much we need to mix up the exercises and meals. Running is my thing, but I also cycle, swim, and lift weights. To continue eating healthy, I allow myself to “binge” on a meal once a week, then return to eating healthy. No guilt allowed.

With all of these, I have to remind myself that I am doing what I am meant to be doing and I don’t want to be doing anything else. I want to be healthy, and a good mom, and a loving wife.

Do you struggle with this? Hang in there, mommas! The day to day can wear us down, but know that we can persevere. We don’t want to merely survive the mundane. We want to thrive. How do you thrive within the mundane in your relationships, jobs, etc?

xoxo