measure up

To measure our own worth against that of our fellow humans, can be extremely toxic to our hearts. Recognizing the flaws of comparison can be difficult, but vital to the survival of our faith in God.

In our recent video we touched a bit on a collective feeling of comparison riddling our minds. This has hit my heart and I feel like I need to work through this (I feel like we all need to work through this). So, let’s do it together. Let’s recognize the flaws of comparison with the truth of God, in order to overcome the trap.

Measure: Less Than

Comparison has been a personal struggle, probably my whole life. There’s always someone better, someone prettier, someone smarter. In every stage of life, there’s always someone to compare yourself to. As a young girl, as a teen, as a young adult, as a mother, a wife. The list gets longer.

Recently, I shared my daily battle is to overcome negativity. Most specifically, negative thoughts of myself. I compare how I look, the way I parent, how clean my house is, my writing style, how I speak. Deeper yet, I compare my heart, my mission, my past, my present, my future (that’s ridiculous).

All of these comparisons are relative though, aren’t they? They depend on the opinions of the one comparing. So, one could say, I have a poor opinion of myself. I lack confidence. Everyone else is better. A cheap attitude of oneself, slaps God in the face and mocks His precious creation.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:14, NIV

Measure: Greater Than

Oppositely, comparison is not exclusive to a low position. It can trap us from a lofty attitude as well.

“At least my sin isn’t as bad.”

“I’m glad I learned to overcome that issue.”

I know I have ventured to this type of place in my heart. Comparing myself to another believer leads to self-justification. I rationalize my own mess because it’s not “as messy” compared. Measuring our sin against that of another believer (or non-believer), opens the door for animosity. Then on to disdain. How dare we take on the role of God in judging the hearts of our brothers and sisters.

And He has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers.

1 John 4:21, NLT

Not one of us is greater than any other. We are just different; with different struggles. All have been affected differently based on our unique environments. We are all growing in different ways, learning different lessons. We are all commissioned different ministries for the advancement of the kingdom of God.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17, NIV

All believers have been accepted into the family. Thus, our common denominator is God and His gift of salvation. That is all that matters. We are all unique and help strengthen each other. Hiding this truth in our hearts, exposes the lies of comparison.

Measure: Equal To

“Well, I’m just as good as…”

This thought is also an extremely dangerous comparison. Our only evaluation should be against the commands and teachings of our Father.

Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you…

2 Corinthians 13:5, NIV

Ultimately, we will never ascend to the greatness of God. We can never live perfect lives. Only Jesus Christ holds this status. Our intention is key. Are we recognizing how flawed it is to measure up to another human?

Measure: The Final Sum

It is human nature to constantly evaluate ourselves against others. However, God calls us to more. He calls us to be not of this world. It is impossible to truly compare ourselves to another human being, because we are all sinful. We are all flawed.

To measure ourselves against another, is to lack all faith in the will of our Father. He does unique work in each of us, and purposes us in accordance with His plan.

Need help overcoming comparison? Consider reading the entirety of 2 Corinthians, chapter 10.

If you have found this inspiring, share the encouragement…

We are all commissioned different ministries for the advancement of the kingdom of God. Click To Tweet

Dawid Małecki

We are God’s work, and we need only to glorify our Creator for the work He has done.

The tote bag, and other items, can be found in the shop.
Your purchase supports this ministry, and others.
Thank you!

Many of us women find ourselves enslaved to the bondage of what we “should” and “ought” to do. Freedom from this way of life is possible if we fight for it.

You should eat more vegetables.

You should get more exercise.

You should lose that ten pounds…yesterday.

You should read your Bible more. And while we’re at it, you should pray more.

You ought to be more kind…and really, you should visit your mother more often.

You ought to adopt one of those Compassion children… Or give money to save those sad, quivering dogs shown on the commercials during your favorite television shows. (Why are they always cold?)

Freedom From: Measuring Up

Sometimes it’s like a ceaseless loop spinning in my brain, the constant ‘shoulds and oughts’ whispering. Or screaming, depending on the day. Each whisper holds the same underlying message: I don’t make the bar; I didn’t measure up to an unknowable goal.

This is a battle of the mind, and a battle of the spirit and a war too many women fight. Regardless of age, race, or education, there are few women with whom I have been acquainted who have not struggled with the inner voice of ‘shoulds and oughts.’

Bondage: The Source

From where or whom does it originate? Obviously, it belies a lack of self-esteem, but it appears to be most rampant among females. There are many possible reasons.

Home

For some, it began in a home where perfection was expected and average was seldom accepted as ‘good enough.’ For others, abandonment or neglect in childhood bred feelings of not being valuable. Childhood sexual abuse also kills self-worth.

Church

Others attend, or grew up attending churches with rigid doctrine concerning God. God was used as a threat. He was angry or didn’t love us if we did this or that (or didn’t do this or that). This is completely NOT scriptural. However, it is completely controlling for a leader to use in manipulating the flock to do his own will. In reality, Scripture teaches clearly of the Father’s unfailing love for us, of His infinite patience, and His desire that none should perish. But that all should come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9). (Please don’t read this to mean I believe that God doesn’t punish sin. However, His punishment is never punitive, as a person’s might be).

Culture

The culture in which we live has placed a great deal of ‘shoulds’ on females today. For instance, every single girl or woman should have peaches and cream skin, be at least 5 feet 7 inches, and have the body of a size 2…with a bra size of at least 36C. Probably 98% of the females who walk the planet do not possess these traits. Consequently, there is an epidemic of women everywhere who are ashamed of their bodies and/or looks. In the seventies, PR departments of clothing and makeup companies co-opted what was once a normal, average female body and convinced at least half of the population that they were not as thin or beautiful as they should be…

And Satan loved it so.

Bondage: The Result

As a result, depression has taken a significant leap in teen girls in recent years and eating disorders are not just for kids

Scripture’s Should and Ought’s

Then He spoke a parable to them that men always ought to pray and not lose heart…
Luke 18:1

If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.
John 13:14-15

But Peter and the other apostles answered and said: “We ought to obey God rather than men.”
Acts 5:29

We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples [weaknesses] of the weak, and not to please ourselves.
Romans 15:1

And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit of power, that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.
I Corinthians 2:4-5

…bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so also should you.
Colossians 3:13

For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
I John 3:11

Freedom

There are several more verses to offer, but truthfully, if my heart and mind will focus on Scripture’s oughts, the lies will cease. In fact, they have stopped occurring as often as they did in the past. Satan is a slow learner, but he does finally get the hint.

And in the midst of it all, I am learning how to be a little more like my Lord and Teacher, Jesus Christ.

The next time you find yourself trapped in the bondage of should and ought, fight for freedom with the Word.

If you have found this inspiring, share the encouragement…

Scripture is authored by the One who loves us more than any one of us can fathom. Click To Tweet

The world continually feeds us the lie that we need to be different. Replace that lie with truth. Because you have been loved, pursued, and redeemed by Christ, you are enough!

Dawid Zawiła

Measure: Calculating the Flawed Logic of Comparison

Measure: Less Than

Measure: Greater Than

Measure: Equal To

Measure: The Final Sum

If you have found this inspiring, share the encouragement…

We are God’s work, and we need only to glorify our Creator for the work He has done.

Freedom: Seven Verses to Break the Bondage of Should and Ought

Freedom From: Measuring Up

Bondage: The Source

Home

Church

Culture

Bondage: The Result

Scripture’s Should and Ought’s

Freedom

If you have found this inspiring, share the encouragement…

The world continually feeds us the lie that we need to be different. Replace that lie with truth. Because you have been loved, pursued, and redeemed by Christ, you are enough!

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.