insecurities

We need to be careful not to do this with our focus when we are pursuing dreams and fulfilling the purpose we believe we were meant to fulfill.

I was feeling discouraged. Why is it so difficult? Why, Lord? Then I heard in my spirit, “Rachael, stop trying to get everyone to like you. Love them, be kind to them, but how people respond to you or feel about you, is not your concern.” Ok, fine.

My longing and discouragement was deeper than that, though. So I made a decision. Instead of powering through and acting like I have my act together, putting on a show in front of the One who knows me intimately, I got honest. (Yes, sometimes my actions show that I believe I can actually fool the Lord. Ridiculous, I know.)

But what about you, Lord? Do you approve of me? Are you proud of me? I know I am approved, as in I know I am loved and am a child of You, the King. But do you approve of what I’m doing? I need something here, Lord! I’m not doing this for popularity, or something to keep me busy. I’m doing this because I have followed the direction of Your Holy Spirit one scary step at a time. Now I am in this place, and I’m wondering if I took a wrong turn somewhere.

A couple hours went by while I replenished my low endorphin supply with exercise. When I returned to my phone, a few confirmations were waiting for me. Validation. “Yes, what you are doing has worth. Yes, you are valued.”

Driving back home, I was feeling lighter, and it was not just because of the endorphins. It honestly made me feel special that the Lord, the Creator of the Universe, truly cares about each of us intimately. My hurt was seen, and He knew I was in need of Fatherly encouragement.

Focus on the mission…

Then, later in the afternoon, the reminder came of why He has led me on this path. Turns out, it is not about me feeling valued, it about others knowing their value. This mission I am on is not about me, or getting that pat on the back. This mission is about finding freedom, and joy, and hope. It’s about people becoming – truly becoming – who they were created to be.

Yes, I love approval, who doesn’t enjoy a good compliment? It is so easy to get sucked into the mindset of it being about me. Almost 100% of the time, when I begin to feel discouraged, or insecure, it is because my focus has shifted to where it does not belong.

It is the Lord who fulfills me. It is this mission that makes me feel alive. The Lord is who brings me joy, the mission brings purpose. I love this mission I am on, and I believe I am doing what the Lord wants me to do. But more than that, He wants my heart. Only when He has all of my heart does He reveal the next step to take in pursuing mission and purpose.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Matthew 6:33, ESV

Focus on our purpose…

Purpose looks different for each of us, and this is so beautiful to me. But I do forget it at times. Sometimes I think everyone has the same purpose as myself, and then I feel like, why bother – she has so much more talent, she knows more people, she, she, she…

In actuality, if we stop looking at other people, and look to our Creator, we will find our own specific purpose and see how it all works together to glorify the Lord. We will see the value each of us hold, and how we need one another. We will be fulfilled by the Lover of our soul, be confident in the value we have, and motivated by the purpose we have been given.

God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.

1 Corinthians 12:6, NLT

If we stop looking at other people, and look to our Creator, we will find our own specific purpose and see how it all works together to glorify the Lord. Click To Tweet

Focus on The Lord…

What is your mission? What dreams are you pursuing? And what purpose makes you feel alive?

Remember that the mission you are on does not define who you are. It is not your identity, or where you find your worth. If you find yourself holding on too tight to the dream that was place in your heart, I urge you to take a moment, and evaluate where your focus is, and where it needs to be. Yes, we are created for good works, but we are first created to worship.

xoxo

Sharon McCutcheon

For the past 7 and a half years I have had the privilege of being a member of the all so desirable “Boy Mom” club. And I have enjoyed it immensely. Now, come August of this year, I will no longer be a member. Yes, I am having a girl. And to be quite honest I have had some mixed emotions about this. And then guilt for having not all excited emotions. Truly, I think most people have been more excited about me having a girl than I have been about having a girl.

The most appreciated comment I received came from a mom that had three boys, and then a girl. She told me that she cried when she found out. She absolutely, positively did not want a girl. I so appreciated her honesty, because I was feeling quite cruddy that I wasn’t excited. She then went on to share how much her life has been blessed by having her daughter. Honesty and encouragement. Doesn’t get any better.

So, being the ever analytical person that I am, I began to wonder what my problem was. Why was I dreading this? Why wasn’t I excited? What was I afraid of?

Sure, there is the obvious answer of, I’m just use to having boys. I understand that the fascination of their penis begins at the infant stage. I expect them to wrestle until someone cries on a daily basis. It’s nice that they don’t care if their clothes match. And that the best toys are a pile of dirt and a stick. But it went deeper than that.

There is the fact that I am a girl and know the difficulties of growing up being a girl. Obvious, I know, but it was hard at times, and now I’m going to have to go through all of that again with her. And that just doesn’t sound like fun to me. But I survived, and so shall she.

On a selfish note, I like being the only girl. The queen if you will. And I feel a bit like my territory is being invaded. That’s not a pleasant admission. That’s an outright selfish, sinful, Lord-please-forgive-me admission. So after that was dealt with, I still was feeling a bit hesitant to be excited.

The final thing I had to deal with was my insecurities as a parent. See, with boys I feel like I can pass a lot of the responsibilities on to my hubby. He’s a boy too, after all. And I think my hubby is pretty stinkin’ great. So logically, my boys will turn out great too. But a girl?!?!? Holy crap!! That’s too much pressure! I’m definitely going to screw her up, I just know it! And that terrifies the crap out of me! Oh, but wait. God knows me and He knows my daughter in my womb. And He knew that I was the one to be the mother to her.

Oh Lord, help me to be the mother You want me to be!

Focus: The Most Important Step When Pursuing Our Purpose and Mission

Focus on the mission…

Focus on our purpose…

Focus on The Lord…

I’m Being Kicked Out