hurt – Oh Lord Help Us

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Suffering: God is Sufficient Amidst Our Worldly Pain

DevotionalsJuly 10, 2019July 9, 2019

God promised pain and trials in our lives, but He holds the victory over our suffering. It may not be easy, but we can allow Jesus to hold us amidst hurt.

This morning a precious friend came to mind. I pray for her and her family often because, from my vantage point, her life burdens are heavy, painful, and very hard to bear.

Trading Suffering…

I remember the first time my heart knit with hers. We lived in the same state then and attended the same church. Our worship leader was leading the congregation in a lively, spirited song called, “Trading My Sorrows.” The words to the song were discordant with the upbeat rhythms…at least for where my life was at the time, and incidentally, what my friend was experiencing in her life, too.

Standing silently next to each other in the choir while everyone around us loudly sang, “Yes, Lord, yes, Lord…,” she muttered, “I’m not singing that! I can’t sing that right now!” I murmured back, “Me neither. It’s too close to home right now.” I’m not sure I ever sang that song, again.

How Do We Sing?

My friend had a very ill baby. My father was dying of cancer and my husband had recently been diagnosed with cancer. It was a difficult season of life.

Neither of us knew the long years of sorrow and suffering that lay ahead of us. If we had, the weight of it might have broken us both right there in the choir loft. But God graciously hid our earthly eyes from that vision and walked us one step at a time into the future. At times, He held us.

How do we, as the song states, ‘trade our sorrows, sickness, pain, for the joy of the Lord’? How does one sing and dance about these things when in the midst of them?

Trust He is Sufficient

I’m not convinced that we are called to sing and dance, but trusting in Him is key…

And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10, NKJV

Suffering is Normal

Pastor and writer Tim Keller wrote a book called, Walking With God Through Pain and Suffering, in 2013. One Amazon reviewer had this to say: “Americans seem to suffer more due to the fact that they are even suffering – than because of the suffering in and of itself. Keller wisely shows that suffering is a normal part of living in a fallen world.”

It does seem to be an affront to us when we suffer – as though we should all be given a ‘pass’ on suffering because we are living in the 21^st Century! Or because it’s not on the schedule, or because we are Christians, or, as Joni Erikson Tada said:

We are infected by our culture of comfort and convenience, and would rather erase suffering out of the biblical dictionary. We want a God who supports our plans, who is our “accomplice”; someone to whom we can relate as long as he is doing what we want. If he does something else, we “unfriend” him.
Joni Erikson Tada

Finding God

But He doesn’t always do what we want, does He? Daily, our lives are touched with suffering and death, if not personally, then vicariously. Keller wrote:

As I took up life as a minister, I tried to understand why so many people resisted and rejected God. I soon realized that perhaps the main reason was affliction and suffering. How could a good God, a just God, a loving God, allow such misery, depravity, pain, and anguish? Doubts in the mind can grow along with pain in the heart…
But at the same time, I learned that just as many people find God through affliction and suffering. They find that adversity moves them toward God rather than away. Troubled times awaken them out of their haunted sleep of spiritual self-sufficiency into a serious search for the divine…It is an exaggeration to say that no one finds God unless suffering comes into their lives—but it is not a big one. When pain and suffering come upon us, we finally see not only that we are not in control of our lives but that we never were.
Tim Keller, Walking With God Through Pain and Suffering

Biblical Suffering

A careful search of the Bible will find, beginning in Genesis, two of the main themes are suffering and adversity. And as Keller noted, the Psalms are filled with cries of pain. Full of questions concerning injustice and why God allows suffering.

Vindicate me, O God, and plead my cause against an ungodly nation; Oh, deliver me from the deceitful and unjust man! For You are the God of my strength; Why do You cast me off? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?
Psalm 43:1-2, NKJV

»«

Awake! Why do You sleep, O Lord? Arise! Do not cast us off forever. Why do You hide Your face, and forget our affliction and oppression?
Psalm 44:23-24, NKJV

How have we missed this? Or have we simply denied it? Exodus, Job, Ecclesiastes, Jeremiah, Habakkuk, Hebrews, I Peter- all these and more, my sisters, address suffering, adversity and sorrow. Our Lord, Jesus Christ was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief, (Isaiah 53:3).

Upsidedown

Recently, Pope Francis took the authority to change some wording in the Lord’s prayer considered offensive to this world’s senses, opting for a more sensitive approach. We too often choose our finite ideas, which are continually distorted by sin and culture, requiring what John Piper calls a hermeneutical headstand. As Piper stated in his blog post: “We must continually refine them, [our ideas] by what the Bible teaches.”

Right side up, we would say, ‘The Bible teaches that God does such and such. Therefore, we should seek to discover the wisdom and goodness of why he would act that way.’ But standing on our heads, we would say, ‘We already know what is wise and good before the Bible tells us. So, if this text tells us God acts contrary to what we know, we will conclude that the text can’t mean that, or it’s mistaken.’
Daring progressive Christians say the text is mistaken; less daring progressives claim to hold fast to biblical authority while changing the meaning to fit their prior view of God. In either case, authority has shifted from heaven to earth.
John Piper

Jesus Holds the Final Word

Oh, precious one, if you are suffering, I hurt with you. More importantly, Jesus holds you and comforts you if you will allow Him.

After all, doesn’t He have the final word on suffering?

In our suffering, Jesus holds and comforts us if we will allow Him. He holds the final word over our pain! Click To Tweet

JOHN TOWNER

God's love, individuality, confidence, hurt, worth, encouragement, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

You: Finding Individuality and Worth in God’s Love

DevotionalsJune 18, 2019June 18, 2019

We often look inward or outward for our own self-worth. Instead, we should look upward to the One who created us and loves us. You are worth it!

I want to talk to you. Specifically you. A lot of stuff rolls around in that brain of yours, and even more courses through your heart. You have doubts. You need affirmation, or reassurance, or comfort.

People Have Hurt You

You have a strong heart, but it is fragile. A friend has wounded you with her words too many times without apology. Your husband puts his career or his hobby ahead of your relationship. A boss has humiliated you in a team meeting. A stranger made derogatory comments about your body.

Your child said that she wished you were not her mom. Leaders at church overlook your contributions on a regular basis. An old boyfriend threatened you. An acquaintance hit you–someone who should have been safe. Someone you trusted stole your right to consent right out from under you.

You Have Hurt Others

You know how you want others to treat you. Your intentions were right, but you have found yourself on the losing side of your own history too many times. Reprimanding your kids for their negative tone of voice while you yell at them.

You insulted your husband in retribution for the ways he hurt you. Canceled plans on a friend for the third time in a row. You told a friend someone else’s secret–and they found out that you did it. You missed an important deadline at work simply because you were unmotivated. Anger gained a foothold in you, and you pushed a colleague much harder than you intended, and they fell.

You Doubt Your Worth

As you sit in the midst of all the hurt you have inflicted and the hurt you have incurred, you wonder about your own value. You worked hard at school, and yet your job is not as important or high paying as you had envisioned. You have failed at every diet you have ever tried.

Other people have talents and accomplishments that hold so much more weight than your insignificant contributions and pursuits. If your relationship ended tomorrow, you could not imagine anyone else seeing you as valuable enough to love — certainly not for a lifetime. You feel mediocre, invisible, wholly insignificant.

So, How Can God Really Love YOU?

Once you have convinced yourself of this, it becomes really hard to believe with every fiber of your being that God can love YOU. Yes, as John tells us, we should:

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.
1 John 3:1, ESV

But, God loves everyone — which is good, and right — but it is easy to take that knowledge and turn it into a love that is such a corporate entity that it can easily pass over you as just one in the crowd. God sent Christ to die on the cross for us so that our sins were redeemed. But there are so many believers. Wouldn’t it be easy for God to overlook you? Love you, yes, but love everything about you? How could He when the math you’ve done does not add up to you being worthy of his intimate, individual love?

But, He Did Make You with Inherent Worth

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
Psalm 139:13-16, ESV

God didn’t make you like a manufacturing company makes little green soldier toys. He made you intimately. He formed you, knitted you together, wove you intricately, and He saw you. You weren’t one of many. He designed you to be uniquely you.

He loves you for who you exclusively are. Individually. He sent Jesus to be an example for you. He sent Jesus to the cross to pay for those very things you have done that you think make you unworthy because He loves you. You hold weight in His kingdom, in His eye, in His heart.

You cannot determine your worth by your own perception or allow the body of believers to assign you value. Don’t let the world tell you how much weight you hold. God has already made that determination. He designed you for a purpose, and you are living that out right now on this earth. Your battle scars and new wounds do not invalidate you as a person of Godly purpose. Your sins do not disqualify you. God loves you.

You.

God didn't make you like a manufacturing company makes little green soldier toys. He made you intimately. He formed you, knitted you together, wove you intricately, and He saw you. Click To Tweet

Janine Joles

Forgiveness: Six Things We Can Do When the Pain Lingers

Devotionals, Stay SaneOctober 25, 2017September 8, 2019

Forgiveness can be extremely hard and the pain feels like it will never subside. What can we do to heal, when the apology never comes? What does the Bible tell us about forgiveness and remorse?

Most of us learn about forgiveness and remorse early in life. In my experience, these two lessons work in tandem best when parents help mediate. (Especially when siblings are involved.) I was taught to apologize to my brothers, my parents, anyone I had hurt, to God. In turn, I learned to forgive those who had asked for forgiveness. As I got older, this lesson became harder. I did not comprehend, as a child, that some day forgiveness would be given even without an apology.

Honestly, I was under the impression that this tandem operation would be much more of a “thing”. Consequently, the less influence my parents had on my daily decisions, the harder it became to forgive and be forgiven. It was a challenging lesson as a child, and it’s even harder now. For me, it’s not the apologizing that’s difficult, it’s forgiving in spite of the pain. Especially, forgiving when the apology doesn’t happen. How do we transition toward a posture of healing when our pain goes unacknowledged?

Fresh into marriage, I learned the hard way that my husband could not read my mind. This is true for a majority of the population… we are not a clairvoyant species. Needless to say, the silent treatment got me nowhere. Indeed, the smarty, backhanded comments did NOT portray the hurt I was feeling. I had to learn how to, clearly and gently, communicate what I was upset about. When I was able to approach my husband in a posture of forgiveness, it made it easier for him to understand my pain and truly apologize.

Forgiveness: What the Bible says…

Since you have been chosen by God who has given you this new kind of life, and because of his deep love and concern for you, you should practice tenderhearted mercy and kindness to others. Don’t worry about making a good impression on them, but be ready to suffer quietly and patiently. Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Colossians 3:12-13, TLB

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you…

Matthew 6:14, ESV

Whoa! We have to suffer “quietly and patiently”, ever “ready to forgive”. Why? God COMMANDED us to forgive, anyone and everyone so that we, too, could receive forgiveness. Commanded. It’s not easy, it’s not fun, and it doesn’t seem fair. For us, forgiveness is usually second in line to our grief and we let it stay there until WE are ready. When the pain subsides, then we forgive. However, God is just and His timing is perfect. FIRST forgive, THEN cast your heartache on the Lord for He will mend you.

Give your burdens to the Lord. He will carry them. He will not permit the godly to slip or fall.

Psalm 55:22, TLB

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

1 Peter 5:7, NLT

FIRST forgive, THEN cast your heartache on the Lord for He will mend you. Click To Tweet

Forgiveness: What to do…

I’ve found that healing of the mind and heart can take some time. All types of emotions creep in, during this season: anger, bitterness, sadness, self-pity. How do we handle these in a healthy manner? The list below contains methods that I have personally used during times of healing in order to combat these ugly emotions…

Throw some rocks

Living in the country has its perks. I do not recommend throwing rocks if you are surrounded by a lot of neighbors. Otherwise, they will have to forgive you for a broken window. Alternatively, wetting some paper towels and throwing them at your shower wall bears the same result. But, rocks are fun.

Write it out and burn it

Seriously, this is awesome. Get it all out; the messy, fractured emotions. It is pain, leaving the mind, through the hand. Fire destroys the negativity, physically and symbolically.

Exercise

Exercise is self-explanatory. I have found, being physically active can help release ugly feelings. Make sure it is something you actually enjoy doing. Turning on some upbeat music and having a solo dance party, can shake those negative emotions right out.

Wake up early to pray

Oh my gosh! Sleep is so precious. However, losing a few minutes of sleep replenishes our souls. Waking up 10-15 minutes earlier to pray for those who have hurt you, will bless you and them! “ Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” (Luke 6:28, NLT)

Talk it out

Connect with someone you trust and talk it out! Your spouse, a friend, a pastor, a counselor, someone who knows your intentions and your heart.

Don’t dwell

Devotions, scripture, music, podcasts, hobbies, subjects you love; all these things should occupy your mind as to not dwell on the pain. I discovered that the longer I would dwell, the longer the pain stuck around.

The break away…

Just this evening, as I was finishing up this post, God gave me opportunity to follow through on His command. There was a disagreement, with hurtful words thrown around. In that moment, I failed the test. I was hurt and was not quick to forgive. Boy, will I remember this night. Not because of the pain, but because of the shame. I let God down and did not heed his commandment. How can I write these words for you and not live it out?! Praise the Lord for His grace!

What about you? Is there pain getting in the way of you forgiving? In what ways have you coped during a healing process?

If you have found this inspiring, share the encouragement…

ORNELLA BINNI

Suddenly, Nothing Else Matters

Love, Stay SaneJuly 10, 2016July 10, 2016

This past week kinda got away from me. I didn’t take the time to write, and honestly was just not motivated to do so. This happens every so often, so I was just going to do something light-hearted. But that will have to wait. It just doesn’t seem right. I don’t feel light-hearted today. I actually feel very, very heavy. I feel heavy about loss of life this week. I feel heavy that there is so much hurt, anger, and division in our country. I feel heavy that my brother-in-law lost his father. And I feel heavy that 2 little boys lost their mom this weekend.

A classmate of mine from college whom I was in the dental hygiene program with, has lost her battle with cancer. It was all so sudden that it has left many, including myself, trying to catch up. What happened? How did this happen? Why did it have to happen. It makes me weep and want to scream.

Two and a half months ago she was performing in a local production of Steel Magnolias. Two months ago she was celebrating her son’s 9th birthday. A month ago she shared this on Facebook:

CANCER….for those who’ve wondered & those who’ve already known….yes it’s what I’ve got! The thing about cancer is, it causes a person to experience MANY different emotions but it also causes you to really reflect on life. One thing I’ve learned is that my family is so incredibly loved by SO many people that I can’t even begin to explain how that makes me feel!
And, so whatever happens during this journey…..I am blessed beyond measure because I know that I AM the daughter of a KING that is NOT moved by this world!!! There is nothing that happens in my life that HE doesn’t already know about. I shall not fear because HE goes before me! HE is the Great Physician & I know that HE will protect me….HE has great plans for me! My JESUS has me in the palm of his hand & HE knows exactly what I need when I need it!!!! And for that I am thankful!! So…It’s ALL GOOD y’all.

And today, she is gone.

She was not a close friend, but her death has hit me incredibly hard. The tears just won’t stop. Without Facebook, I probably would not have any clue what her life was like, or that any of this was happening. But I do know that she was an incredibly bright, loving, and kind person. She was when she was a part of my daily school life, and seeing the response of her death, I know that her influence has only increased over the years. Now, she is not just in the “palm of his hand” but truly in the arms of Jesus. What a beautiful image.

She was loved greatly, because she loved greatly. She is absolutely the daughter of a King who is in complete control. We do not understand His ways, but we can trust Him. We may not like the outcome, but we can rest in His peace. I agree with her, it is ALL GOOD!

I feel so much pain for her parents, her husband, and her boys. I know they are in shock, overcome with grief, and wondering how they will make it through each day. There is no advice, there are no words, to ease the pain they feel. Jesus says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” The comfort will come, but for now, just mourning. Deep, gut-wrenching, painful mourning.

It’s so easy to get caught up in day-to-day things. It’s not that those things don’t matter, or that the Lord is not using those things to teach us, or encourage us, or heal us. But there are seasons in life that our perspective shifts. For this precious family, suddenly nothing else matters. I’m sure they are not caring about what they are wearing, or what they need to get done this week, or who is running for president. They only know the love they feel for this incredibly special woman and the hole that exists in their lives now that she is gone.

For today, I have no deeper message to share. Only that I wish to weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15).

xoxo