failure – Oh Lord Help Us

Perspective: Resolving to Center Our Minds and Goals On God

Devotionals, Stay SaneJanuary 7, 2018September 8, 2019

Setting goals looks very different for each one of us. Igniting ferocity to seek God and centering our minds on Him, can change our perspective on setting goals.

“My New Year’s resolution is…”

Everyone is saying it. I loathe this saying. This probably comes from a place of inability to set goals. I often feel like “goals” place me in a box. I understand the importance of setting goals and seeing them through, but I also understand that life is life. Goals don’t always work out quite like we think they should, so why bother?

Worldly Perspective

I am sure your social media is buzzing with fad diets and burst workouts, pushing you to succeed in losing some fluffiness you gained over the holidays. Ads on day planners, bullet journals, meditation routines; OH MY! You can’t escape the optimistic posts supplied by all your friends’ new found love for being life coaches.

Please, do not get me wrong. I completely understand (and practice) the importance of planning. I see how fun it can be to check things off a list and watch a scale drop numbers. However, the over all feeling inside is failure and guilt. This resolution thing was a “following the masses” decision. For social’s sake, we’ve gone and done it… we’ve made a beginning of the year promise to change, like we’ve done year in and year out.

Personal Perspective

Okay, okay. I might just be speaking for myself. I should probably just speak for myself. What’s the percentage of pessimists in the world? I’ll speak for us. But seriously, I can’t be the only one that feels this way. I want to know what makes us roll our eyes. Not only that, why is it so difficult to succeed? It has to be that our hearts aren’t in it, right? Maybe we just lack the focus and optimism?

A friend and I were chatting about goal setting and how it’s extremely important in her life. My perspective is different and I wondered how I could gain her enthusiasm for setting my eyes to the future. She offered up some advice… change the word “~~goal~~” to “wish” or “dream”. The free spirit side of me rejoiced. Seriously, much rejoicing.

A new line of thinking. That has to be the answer.

Failing Perspective

It is helping, but over all I still feel leery of setting “wishes”. Maybe instead of a pessimist, I’m a realist. Realistically, I understand that life has a mind of it’s own. I know that the year will, without a doubt, bring a hurdle or obstacle. Thus, catching my dreams ablaze. Okay, I’m a pessimist.

I often worry that my dreams are not what the Lord has called for my life. I worry that I’m not seeking Him enough to even know that I’m heading toward the correct wish. So, here I go, thinking ahead on something that hasn’t happened and may never happened. I focus on my future failure instead of God’s success.

This comes from a place of past failure. I’ve had complete and utter failures in my life. They all stemmed from wishes that weren’t meant for me yet. I ran after them, centered my thoughts around them. Centered my life around them. I fell flat on my face. I lacked a heart to follow God’s desires for my life. Lacked trust in His plan.

Spiritual Perspective

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-13, NIV

Yes. That is the usual scripture that goes along with this subject matter…but nothing about this scripture is cliche to me. In fact, the later part of scripture is often left out. God of the entire universe (omnisciencent, omnipotent, omnipresent) listens to us. He is the fabric of everything we know and don’t know. The vastness of this existence, is held in God’s mighty hands. Yet, He bends down to listen to our hearts.

“…Am I not a God near at hand” God’s Decree. “and not a God far off? Can anyone hide out in a corner where I can’t see him?” God’s Decree. “Am I not present everywhere, whether seen or unseen?” God’s Decree.

Jeremiah 23:17-18, MSG

Pause from reading and really let that sink in.

When we seek our mighty God with ferocity, our ways align with His. His hopes are our hopes. When we center our whole being on God, we can’t get enough of learning Him; His commands, His character, His wisdom. Suddenly, our “goals” fade away and there is only God.

… teach me your ways [God] so I may know you and continue to find favor with you.

Exodus 33:13, NIV

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths.

Psalm 24:4

I’m joining in. The resounding chorus is flowing from my tongue…

My New Year’s resolution is to seek after God. Wholeheartedly, unconditionally, and passionately learning His heart!

Will you join with me?

If you have found this inspiring, share the encouragement…

I focus on my future failure instead of God's success. Click To Tweet

Matthew Bedford

Are you ready to seek God’s truth?

but God… Where the Story Changes, a six-week study on replacing lies with God’s truth. This study can be done on your own, with a friend, or with a group.

Focused: Eliminating the Competition

Stay SaneJune 11, 2017June 11, 2017

When I am able to think clearly, I know that success is achieved when I am doing what I know I ought to be doing. And when I am thinking clearly, I know that my success is not in competition with other people’s success. But when I am not thinking clearly… Well, that’s a different story.

When I am not thinking clearly, I feel threatened by others. When I am not thinking clearly, I feel insecure, and easily offended. When I am not thinking clearly, I feel jealous of the things other people are doing. When I am not thinking clearly, I start competing with others in a competition they never signed up for.

When I am not thinking clearly, I start competing with others in a competition they never signed up for. Click To Tweet

When I am not thinking clearly, it is most likely because my life is out of balance. Being out of balance is a dangerous place to be. When I am out of balance I neglect my health, my thoughts, and my heart. And when I neglect my heart, I start listening to all the lies that the enemy is whispering. And the lie that is whispered most often is that I am not enough to be used by the Lord. Others have more talent, have better connections, have different opportunities. And I begin to believe that I am wasting my time.

I have a passion for encouraging women to be free from the very thing I am struggling with. I believe that we are most beautiful, and most radiant when we are being who we are created to be. When we are confidently living out our unique passions, with our unique abilities, then we are experiencing true freedom. But when we listen to those lies, then we have become insecure, enslaved within our own prisons.

Recently, this is where I was. I was imprisoned in my own self-doubt, and self-pity. Because I had neglected the truth, the lies took over. I began feeling jealous of what others were doing, and offended that I was not a part of something I believed I had a right to. I had become focused on myself, and what I was (and was not) doing. My focus was not on what the Lord was doing. I was asking Him to join me in my endeavors and my ambitions, rather than asking where He was already working. And He is always working, and always looking for workers. But the workers are to be glorifying the Lord, not seeking their own glory.

The Lord is faithful. Gently, I was reminded that although He cares about me deeply, it is not about me. It is not about my creativity. It is not about the people I know. It is not about my involvement. It’s about Him.

I once heard the statement, “Her success is not your failure,” meaning, don’t compare yourself to others. But as followers of Christ, this goes one step further. My belief is, “Her success is my success!” We are on the same team, and our objective is to make Christ known, and to glorify the Lord. The Lord gives each of us talents and a mission to be passionate about. We work together to strengthen the church and impact others.

Her success IS my success! Click To Tweet

Now that balance has been restored and my focus has been shifted off of myself, I rejoice when I hear about others who are sharing this pursuit of making Him and His truth known. No longer am I weighed down with feeling insecure, or offended. I know that I am not the only one the Lord has given this mission to. I want everyone to experience the freedom of being confident, knowing they are being who they were created to be. The more people sharing this truth, the quicker we will all be set free.

Your turn…

Do you compare yourself to others? Do you find yourself in a competition that no one signed up for? How will you eliminate this competition?

I’m a Failure

Parent, Stay SaneJune 3, 2015August 21, 2016

Life is full of trials and tribulations. We are constantly putting out one fire, only to turn around find another. Just when we think we have found our groove and that we have everything under control, the rug gets pulled out and we realize we never really had control in the first place. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Are you starting to get the point? Are you tired of my analogies yet? Probably, but I know that you know what I’m talking about because we have all experienced this.

Our trials can take many forms. An annoying co-worker, disobedient children, fussy babies, an illness, yet another bill that can’t be paid, a spouse that just doesn’t seem to get you. Whatever it is, all of us are struggling with something. The question is, how do we handle those times when we are being tested?

Here’s what happened…

Earlier in the year my hubby had to go out of town for work. And let me just say, I am super spoiled that this rarely happens. I have a dear friend whose husband travels all the time. I don’t know how she does it, it would make me lose my mind. I depend heavily on my hubby and I don’t mind admitting it. The Lord gives us the grace to handle all of our different situations I suppose. Anyhow…he left town Sunday afternoon. That evening was alright because my dad and step-mom were visiting and I was enjoying my time with them. That night however….

It started with the fact that I had a nasty cough and couldn’t get to sleep until around 12:30. At 3:45 I awoke to the sound of foot steps running down the hall. My older son came barging in telling me that my younger son was throwing up. Wonderful. I hurry and rush to their room to find my 3 year old sitting in a puddle of vomit. But here’s the thing, we had just made bunk beds for the boys and naturally my older son got the top bunk. My younger son is such a snuggle bug, that he would wait for his brother to fall asleep and then crawl into bed with him. So my poor older son was awoken with his little brother throwing up in his bed. And this poor, pregnant mama had to clean up the vomit on a top bunk.

When I got into the room I went in to triage mode. What had to be done first? What was most urgent? First I had to clean it off the floor. Gross. Then I got my son out of the bed, stripped him down, and put him in the bathroom to get cleaned up. Then I got my older son settled on the couch since his bed was ruined for the night. Younger son was settled into his bed. Then the clean up began. Seriously, trying to clean this up on the top bunk while almost 6 months pregnant was no easy task. At 4:15 I made it back to my bed, but not before walking full speed into the corner of the wall. I had a goose-egg and bruise on my forehead for a week. Once in bed, I hear my younger son up again. He wants to hug. And his belly hurts. Let’s go hug in the bathroom. After getting sick again, I went back to bed and prayed that my other son and I would be spared from whatever this was. I could not get sick, especially not with my hubby out of town. Sleep was pointless since I would have to wake up in less than an hour. The next day was sure to be interesting since my folks were going to be leaving and I would be on my own.

It was actually quite comical the amount of things that went wrong the first 24 hours my hubby was gone, but I was quite pleased with myself on how I was handling it. I was calm and compassionate with my boys. I was even able to get everything done that needed plus some.

It was the next day that I blew it. I had an all-out-3-year-old-style temper tantrum. And I knew in that moment that I failed. I failed the test that I was given. And this got me thinking. How could I not have failed? Were there steps or precautions that I could have taken? What about things I could tell myself to stay calm? Absolutely. I recognized that the hour before bedtime was my most challenging time of the day, so I gave myself a count down. I only had to stay calm for another 45 minutes. And I gave the boys a countdown. Ten minutes to clean up, ten minutes to get bathed, 2 minutes to brush teeth, and then read a book. Once I implemented the plan, the rest of the week went smoothly.

What I learned…

I decided that it was alright, maybe even necessary to fail. Without failing, we won’t know what needs to be changed. We won’t learn. We won’t grow. I still believe this to be true, but my lesson in failing wasn’t over. A few weeks later, I failed again. I was then challenged with the thought that I CAN’T pass the test. I will never, ever, ever get it right.

See, I believe there is such a thing as “sin” and wouldn’t you know it, we all suffer from it. The world is consumed with it actually. And even more of a bummer is that I can’t fix it on my own. But see, I also believe there is such a thing as “grace” and thankfully we all can access it. So, the next time I was presented with the test of rising anger while dealing with these selfish, inconsiderate, deceitful creatures (known as my children) I went into a quiet moment and thanked Jesus for the grace that was given to me because he bore my sin of losing my temper. And then I thanked Him for the Holy Spirit that promises to give us a spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness. That’s the the mom, wife, and friend that I desire to be. It was then that I was able to go to my children and teach them and correct their behavior and show them love. It was then that I was, yet again, changed by grace.