example

Today’s interpretation of ‘compassion’ doesn’t compare to God’s intended design. The true nature of ‘suffering with others’ was perfectly exemplified through the life and death of Jesus.

When I entered my initial internship for hospital chaplaincy, I believed I was equipped both theologically and emotionally to provide the care my patients would need. After all, I was an adult who had already raised a family, taught the Bible for twenty years, and had experienced, (and had therapy for), several painful life events.

Astonishing – how wrong we can be when we believe we’re so right.

The World’s Compassion

Chaplaincy internship involved many spiritual books assigned to us, weekly theological reflections, group meetings/assessments with fellow interns, and a weekly one-on-one with our supervisor. It didn’t take long for most of us to ascertain that, while our theological training was imperative and our life experiences significant, how these aspects came together to minister care to a hurting soul was vital.

The word compassion is thrown around frequently in our culture. It seems the word is used to pull at our heartstrings and guilt us into performing a service. Or, to give to a cause in which someone, or an entity, believes we should. You know what I mean. I imagine your mailbox is full of the same appeals as mine.

Don’t you have any compassion for these-

starving children
wounded vets
people with cancer
lost people
dying people in (name the country)

And if you’re a television watcher…well, the visual is worse.

Inadequate Compassion

While I was in chaplaincy, I was seeing a wonderful Christian therapist. At times, I felt overwhelmed and deeply inadequate by the needs I faced each day. My heart, my own compassion, could not handle the onslaught of pain and suffering. I remember the day I expressed this to her, and she told me, “I believe we already have a Savior to handle the world’s pain. We don’t need another one.” Ouch.

But the truth is, like so many other words in our world, compassion has been co-opted to take on a new meaning. Rather than the way, God, our Father used it, or Jesus used it, today it is used more as ‘feeling sorry for.’ With this meaning, we can throw money at the above list, or even a little time, feel warm and fuzzy, then go on our merry way.

However, in the Old Testament, where the Hebrew word is Racham, it is translated to ‘love deeply;’ it is used most often in Isaiah.

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!
Isaiah 30:18, NIV

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
Isaiah 49:15, NIV

Can we fathom this love?

Suffering With

The Greek word splanchnizomai, “to be moved as to one’s inwards”, is used most often when referencing Jesus’ compassion.

That one is a bit more difficult to grasp. Imagine your child with a raging fever and your willingness to take his/her place just to ease the pain and suffering.

Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
Matthew 9:35-36, NIV

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
Matthew 14:14, NIV

As he drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow, and a considerable crowd from the town was with her. And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, ‘Do not weep.’ Then he came up and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, ‘Young man, I say to you, arise.’
Luke 7:12-14, ESV

‘Pain-Avoiders’

Henri Nouwen describes it well in a book he co-wrote with two others.

The word compassion is derived from the Latin words pati and cum, which together mean “to suffer with.” Compassion means to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion into the condition of being human.
It is not surprising that compassion, understood as suffering with, often evokes in us a deep resistance and even protest…It is important for us to acknowledge this resistance and to recognize that suffering is not something we desire or to which we are attracted. On the contrary, it is something we want to avoid at all cost. Therefore, compassion is not among our most natural responses. We are pain-avoiders…
Henri Nouwen, et al, Compassion, A Reflection on the Christian Life

Full Immersion

Dear friends, sisters, is it not much easier to remain at a safe distance from sufferers than to be in “full immersion” with them? Wouldn’t we rather tweet: “I’ll pray for you!” with an added heart emoji than go sit in silence with a depressed friend?

Let’s be painfully honest – it takes little effort to say, “Let me know if you need anything,” but to take the initiative to keep her kids one day a week? Seriously?

I find it much more challenging to experience the powerlessness of someone in grinding poverty than to go to my intellect and tell her about job opportunities. I prefer to inform her of the stage of grief she is in than to weep and mourn with a sister who is mourning.

Because truly? While the practical answers are necessary, they are not what Jesus meant by compassion.

Jesus’ Example

There was a time when I was very good at doling out useless offers and banal, spiritual phrases. Then cancer hit my family, (my dad, Gary,) and chronic illness, (me, mom.) Gary and I began hearing those words and good intentions coming our way. It didn’t take too many instances for God to reveal to me how insincere I had been.

When I had cancer three years ago, the same thing occurred with people I believed were close to me. While the experience was hurtful and disappointing, it helped me realize anew how little we understand suffering with each other. Even in the Body of Christ.

God, in Christ, loved us to such a degree that He stepped down to earth to redeem us. He was tempted and suffered in every way as we do, (Hebrews 4:15; Isaiah 53:5-6). Jesus is our supreme example of compassion, suffering with. He will enable us to do the same with others if we will ask.

Let me warn you…it hurts.

…but the rewards are eternal.

Jesus is our supreme example of what compassion looks like: He stepped down to earth as a human, suffered as we do, then died and rose again to redeem us all. Click To Tweet

Annie Spratt

Who has begun the legacy of love in your life, teaching you of God’s love? How will you continue this legacy of influencing others?

The warm sun came streaming in the window like a loving hug surrounding me as I stretched awake. The sound of waves crashing over the shore was so soothing and exciting at the same time. My little legs quickly kicked the covers off. I started demanding breakfast, my swimsuit, and when could we go out. Not the best way to wake up the adult you are sleeping with. I probably would fuss at my kids. My grandfather, though, joined in with as much childlike enthusiasm as his 6’2″ frame could contain. Genuine love beaming through every pore. My grandmother was already up, fixing a big farm style breakfast in the little camper that served as home for the week we stayed at Arrowhead Campground in Myrtle Beach, SC every summer of my childhood.

She turned and smiled with love and patience. It made me feel every wonderful and loving feeling all at one time. “Slow down, pumpkin. Let’s eat a bite, take our time getting dressed, and then we will hit the waves.” My grandma wrapped me in a hug that emoted so much love I can still close my eyes and feel how much heart was in the simple gesture. I can even smell the warm sweetness and the clean fresh natural smell that wafted from her.

My grandfather would say grace – a little long winded for my young wiggly body – as I waited for my turn to say “AMEN” with loud enthusiasm. As we ate, I was not just allowed to talk about whatever subject was rushing in and out of my little girl mind, but encouraged in my flights of fancy.

As we packed up our cooler and put on bathing suits and sunscreen my grandmother would sing. My favorite was “I’ve Got the Joy, Joy, Joy Down in My Heart.” And I did. Great Joy. Joy for the beach, joy for my family, and joy for the God they were teaching me to love.

How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

Psalms 36:7, ESV

Legacy: Living by Example

Love is a natural human emotion, but we are taught how to express it. My parents did a great job of teaching me what love was. They took me to church, encouraged me to find my true purpose and listen to God’s call. They came to everything I was a part of. I learned so many wonderful lessons from them, but my grandmother taught me the most about God’s love.

Love is a natural human emotion, but we are taught how to express it. Click To Tweet

She shared her love for our Savior with open abandon. You knew within the first thirty seconds of meeting her that she was a Christian in the marrow of her bones. No one ever left her presence not knowing that she loved them because Jesus loved them more.

I remember one time a lady came to her house to pick up a skirt my grandmother had made for her. My grandmother was a seamstress by trade and ran a small business out of her house. The lady who came was obviously poor and spoke very little english. My grandmother smiled that same warm smile that shined through her eyes, that she showed me. She asked the lady about her family and patiently listened as the lady told her about the hardships that their family was going through. My grandmother invited her to church, offered to come visit sometime soon, and told her she would put her family on her prayer list. The lady smiled with equal warmth. You could almost feel her burden lift a little. She paid my grandmother with a few dollars and a pie.

That night when we got to the part of our devotional where we lifted people up in prayer, my grandmother prayed for the lady and her family. Living life in service of others wasn’t lip service to her, it was a biblical imperative. She prayed daily. Read her bible and devotional nightly; even when she was too sick to get up out of bed. God’s love came through her until her last breath was taken.

For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God.

2 Corinthians 9:13, ESV

Legacy: Teaching Others

When my grandmother was at a hospice house the last few months of her life, she was still ministering to others. We would go visit and the nurses, other patients, and their families would tell us how much she meant to them. How they loved her. She loved them all right back. Every night she and my grandfather would read their devotional and pray. She would list them all by name. She would tell others everyday how much she loved them and how much God loved them.

One of the last times I came to visit she was sitting in the common room and there were three other families in there too. A nurse came in with a therapeutic golden retriever who nudged its head under my grandmother’s hand. She gave me the same smile, talked a few minutes and then asked me to read Revelations 21 outloud for everyone.

…The wall was built of jasper, while the city was pure gold, like clear glass. The foundations of the wall of the city were adorned with every kind of jewel. The first was jasper, the second sapphire, the third agate, the fourth emerald, the fifth onyx, the sixth carnelian, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the eleventh jacinth, the twelfth amethyst. And the twelve gates were twelve pearls, each of the gates made of a single pearl, and the street of the city wea pure gold, like transparent glass.

And I saw no temple in the city, for its temple is the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb. And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. By its light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it, and its gates will never be shut by day – and there will be no night there. They will bring into it the glory and the honor of the nations. But nothing unclean will ever enter it, nor anyone who does what is detestable or false, but only those who are written in the Lamb’s book of life.

Revelations 21:18-27, ESV

When I was done she looked at me and said, “That is what is waiting for me.” Then she took the hand of the nurse who had walked in and smiled at her. “That is what is waiting for all of us. God is so good, honey.” I broke down, put my head in her lap and cried. She lifted my chin and said, “Pumpkin, I love you, God loves you, we will always be with you.”

Legacy: Teaching Others to Teach

A few weeks later, right before she passed away, we all went to see her one more time. They were pumping her so full of pain medication she barely knew who we were. I spent three minutes with her right before I left. The fog seemed to lift for those three minutes. She smiled at me with all her love, she hugged me tight and that feeling of warm love enveloped me.

She patted my hair. “Why are you so sad, pumpkin?”

“I’m going to miss you so much. I love you, grandma.”

“I love you too, baby. We have made so many memories. I will live in your heart forever.”

I promised I would share her love and lessons with my children and that I would try to live the life that she wanted for me.

Your turn…

Who is the person who brings God’s love closer to you? How do they inspire you to draw closer to God?

Dear God,

Thank you for blessing my childhood and early adulthood with Virginia Vernon. You could not have given me a better earthly example of loving You than her. Help me to live the life You have planned for me. Help me to love others in the way You desire for us to love others, fully and without reservation.

Love,