Author: Rachael

The role of a father is a powerful thing. We can empower the fathers in our lives to embrace his role and in turn raise a generation of healthy and confident children.

Before I begin, let me make it known that I was raised by a good man, and then I married a good man. I completely understand that the fathers in your life may, in fact, not be good men. Or maybe the father of your children is a good man, but it was a bad marriage. These are situations that I cannot empathize with, nor will I try to pretend that I can. In these situations, I listen. I will always listen.

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children!

Psalm 127:3, ESV

Five ways to empower fathers…

Respect

By respecting my husband (and him respecting me in turn), we are modeling to our children a couple things. First, how to treat others. Second, that they must respect their father and mother. This is what we expect. Do they always achieve this? No, but when it’s not, there will be correcting, both within our relationship and our relationship with our children.

What this looks like for us…

• If I disagree with my husband on a topic, I don’t talk to him with a condescending tone.
• I am not demanding in my tone. I ask for things to be done, I say please a lot, and thank you a ton.
• If I disagree on a parenting action, I talk with him about it in private, not in front of the children.

Communication

This is crucial in any relationship, but especially marriage. And with honest communication, there must be trust. Because we are not perfect parents, there are times that we have to point out faults to one another. This is done in a calm, sincere manner.

What this looks like for us…

• Pointing out that his tone was too harsh.
• Informing him that he did not follow through on what he said he was going to do.
• Mentioning things that he needs to be more attentive to.

Listen

Being the financial provider for our family, he can feel stressed from pressure with work related events. By listening to him vent about his day, he is then able to relax and enjoy family time when he is home.

What this looks like for us…

• I don’t fully grasp what my husband does for a living. I kind of hate it when people ask what his does. Because of this, I often get glassy-eyed when he starts talking too technical, and he knows this. The point is that I still sit there and listen. And sometimes I can even think of good questions to ask!
• I do not typically give advice, unless it’s an issue with a female co-worker, in which case I may play devil’s advocate and try to help him understand what is going through her mind.

Support

My husband and I do not have the same strengths, and for this I am thankful. If we had the same strengths, we would probably have the same weaknesses, and then we would be in a real mess. We are able to acknowledge these areas of weakness, which allows the other to fill-in the gaps. We are not perfect, but together we are strong.

What this looks like for us…

• At times I have trouble keeping boundaries with my boys. They just end up wearing me down. In these times, my husband is able to step in and be the enforcer. This allows me to be a better mom in the long run because I’m not so worn out. And I appreciate not having to be the “bad guy” all the time.
• My husband is super detailed with his career. With the children, not so much. I, however, am quite structured with home-life, and this allows everyone to be fed and clothed everyday.
• When one of us is having a bad attitude day, the other one goes into nice-guy mode. We have even been known to tell the other, “I’m in a crappy mood today, I need you to take over.” Rarely have we both been nasty at the same time. Thankfully.

Encouragement

All of us need a pat on the back from time to time. In the trenches of parenting, we need this often.

What this looks like for us…

• Simply saying, “You are such a good dad” goes a long way. And when there are specific attributes that he shows, I point those out as well.
• I can never say “thank you” enough to my husband. Knowing that I appreciate his sacrifices is an encouragement and motivator to continue all the work he does for our family.

In what ways do you support your husband to be a strong, loving father? I would love to hear your thoughts!

Steve Shreve

Critical thoughts run rampant and leave us discouraged. Is it possible to control the conversation in the mind? Can we retrain our minds, and replace negative thoughts with things that are uplifting to ourselves and others?

The party, the girls night out, the mom date over coffee has come to an end. There was so much laughter, so much warmth in the conversation. Smiles, hugs, squeezes on the arm…yep, all of that took place. It was perfect. Until… the replay starts to happen.

“Oh my goodness, I can’t believe I actually shared that!”

“She probably thinks I am such a nasty person.”

“I sure hope she didn’t take that the wrong way.”

“Wait a minute! Was she actually insulting me?”

“I cannot believe she talks about her husband that way!”

And before the sun rises the next day, our thoughts have robbed us of a joy-filled evening. They have uprooted a blossoming friendship, and spread weeds of doubt and insecurity in its place.

Or perhaps there is a special event coming up, and our thoughts are convincing us that we will for sure come across awkward, or judgmental, or like an imposter. Then, on the day of the occasion, this is exactly what we portray.

(Please note: There are times as we replay conversation when a comment is brought to our attention that did hurt someone. In those instances, we should reach out and apologize. This post is not referring to those times. It is referring to when we create a scenario in our mind that is not reality. Ok, carry on…)

The problem…

Critical thoughts

We are our own worst critics. We tear ourselves down, claiming to be stupid and unlovable. Of course, we also tend to have those thought about other people. We don’t agree with their parenting, or their diet, or the choices they made that put them in their current situation.

Discouraging thoughts

We are expecting the worst to happen. If we focus on the bad thing that could happen, we become immobilized, living in a constant state of fear.

Imaginary thoughts

There are conversations that never take place. We play a scenario in our head of what we think someone is going to say and how we would respond. Before we know it, we are in a knock-down, drag-out fight with someone who never joined the conversation. Then when we see that person, we are ticked at them for something they never said in the first place!

The solution..

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

Colossians 3:2-3, ESV

Replace, Replay, and Retrain

Acknowledge what is happening, be honest about it. If feeling jealous, admit it. If feeling hurt, admit it. Then think about what is truth, and finally, replay the dialogue in our head. This is retraining the way we think. This is Biblical and scientific. Science confirms that our thoughts create patterns in our brains, and our brain will continue to use the same patterns because they are familiar with them. Science has confirmed what scripture has said for thousands of years!

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.
Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Philippians 4:8, NLT

This takes practice, but the Lord does not desire for us to be held captive to these thoughts that destroy who we are and the relationships we are in. When we admit our sinful thoughts and repent, the Lord is then able to remove it, and heal it. We cannot accomplish this with our own will power. The Bible says in Romans 12:2 to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. I like the way it reads in the New Living Translation, “…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” God is the only way we will be transformed in our thoughts.

We cannot accomplish this with our own will power. God is the only way we will be transformed in our thoughts. Click To Tweet

Practical tips

Yes, God desires to change our thoughts, and will if we allow Him to. There are also, helpful and practical things we can do disrupt the negative talk…

Change the environment. Literally, change the space. If our thoughts get away from us in night while trying to fall asleep, get out bed, or read a book. If it is while we are driving, turn on music or a podcast to change the internal dialogue.

Distract the mind. Perhaps we need to put on some music, or change the song that is playing. Start a different activity. Do an activity that brings joy, or gives a feeling of accomplishment.

Talk it through with someone. This allows us to gain a different perspective, and to stop the cycle of thoughts in our mind. The big, dramatic thought becomes much less powerful when it leaves the confines of our minds.

What thoughts do you struggle to control?

Josep Castells

Life is full of trials and tribulations. We are all struggling. How do we handle those times when nothing is going right? When we feel like a failure, because we can’t seem to get it right?

A few years ago, my husband had to go out of town for work. And let me just say, I know I have it good that this rarely happens (although it is starting to happen more often). I depend heavily on my hubby and I don’t mind admitting it. Anyhow, this one time, he left town Sunday afternoon. That evening was alright because my dad and step-mom were visiting and I was enjoying my time with them. That night however….

The end of ourselves…

It started with the fact that I had a nasty cough and couldn’t get to sleep until around 12:30. At 3:45 I awoke to the sound of foot steps running down the hall. My older son came barging in telling me that my younger son was throwing up. Wonderful. I hurry and rush to their room to find my 3 year old sitting in a puddle of vomit. But here’s the thing, we had just made bunk beds for the boys and naturally my older son got the top bunk. My younger son is such a snuggle bug, that he would wait for his brother to fall asleep and then crawl into bed with him. So my poor older son woke up with his little brother throwing up in his bed. And this poor, pregnant mama had to clean up the vomit on a top bunk.

When I got into the room I went in to triage mode. What had to be done first? What was most urgent? First, clean it off the floor. Gross. Then, get my son out of the bed, strip him down, and put him in the bathroom to clean him up. Then, get my older son set up on the couch since his bed was not longer suitable for sleeping. Younger son was put back into his bed. Then the clean up began. Seriously, trying to clean this up on the top bunk while almost 6 months pregnant – no easy task.

At 4:15 I made it back to my bed, but not before walking full speed into the corner of the wall. I had a goose-egg and bruise on my forehead for a week. Once in bed, I hear my younger son up again. He wants to hug. And his belly hurts. Let’s go hug in the bathroom. After getting sick again, I went back to bed and began to pray that my other son and I would be spared from whatever this was. I could not get sick, especially not with my husband out of town. Sleep was pointless since I would have to wake up in less than an hour. The next day was sure to be interesting since my folks were going to be leaving and I would be on my own.

Failure…

It was actually quite comical the amount of things that went wrong the first 24 hours my husband was gone, but I was quite pleased with myself on how I was handling it. I was calm and compassionate with my boys. I was even able to get everything done that needed plus some.

It was the next day that I blew it. I had an all-out-3-year-old-style temper tantrum. And I knew in that moment that I failed. This got me thinking. Could I not have failed? Were there steps or precautions I could have taken? What about things I could have told myself to stay calm? Absolutely. I recognized that the hour before bedtime was my most challenging time of the day, so I gave myself a count down. I only had to stay calm for another 45 minutes. And I gave the boys a countdown. Ten minutes to clean up, ten minutes to get bathed, 2 minutes to brush teeth, and then read a book. Once I implemented the plan, the rest of the week went smoothly.

Receiving grace…

It was alright, maybe even necessary to fail. Without failing, we won’t know what change we need. We won’t learn. We won’t grow. I still believe this to be true, but my lesson in failing wasn’t over. A few weeks later, I failed again. I then began to think that I CAN’T pass the test. I will never, ever, ever get it right.

See, I believe there is such a thing as “sin” and wouldn’t you know it, we all suffer from it. The world is consumed with it actually. And even more of a bummer is that I can’t fix it on my own. But see, I also believe there is such a thing as “grace” and thankfully we all can access it.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

2 Corinthian 12:9, ESV

So now, when I feel the rising anger, I try to remember to take a moment and pause. I thank Jesus for the grace He gives me because He bore my sin of losing my temper. And then I thank Him for the Holy Spirit that promises to give us a spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness. That’s the the mom, wife, and friend that I desire to be. It is then that I am able to go to my children and teach them and correct their behavior and show them love. It is then that I am, yet again, changed by grace.

Without failing, we won't know what change we need. We won't learn. We won't grow. I still believe this to be true, but my lesson in failing wasn't over. Click To Tweet

Mahdi Fathi

If we could only see ourselves through other people’s eyes. Instead of speaking lies over ourselves, we are to speak truth.

This past Mother’s Day my 10 year old son made a card for me that I will treasure for decades to come. At the top he wrote, “I love you, and here is why…” Then he made a list complete with pictures. Number one on the list was, You are fast. I love that I impress him with my speed. Crazy thing is, he is already faster than me, but I have him hands down on the endurance factor!

Number two was, You are patient. I started to think I had the wrong card. Me? Patient? Not a quality I have ever claimed to possess. The picture he drew was me with all three kiddos saying, “Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom…” Pretty accurate representation, really. Somedays I threaten to change my name, or I will say that mom is no longer here.

Number three was, You are loving. He drew a picture of me hugging him. This is true. I love on my kiddos all the time. Constantly kissing them, hugging them, playing with their hair. I couldn’t stop if I tried. But there was something so special to see that he is aware of the love being shown.

I went back to number two, and then I began to weep. If only I could see myself as my children see me. In their eyes I am loving, and patient, and impressive. I like their version of me better than my version.

Hush…

We put labels on ourselves that aren’t true. We don’t want to be angry, impatient, unkind, or lazy, but this is exactly what we call ourselves. So naturally, that is what we present and become. It’s time to stop. It’s time to see ourselves as God sees us. Do you know what God sees when He looks at us?

God sees Jesus.

If we have accepted Christ’s redemption, we are covered with Jesus. We are patient, kind, supportive of others, and considerate.

For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.

Hebrews 10:14, ESV

Yes, we are being sanctified – meaning we are a work in process – but we are also already made perfect in our justification. The enemy wants nothing more than to keep us hindered, to make us less effective for the Kingdom, and to destroy our influence.

Do you know what God sees when He looks at us? God sees Jesus. Click To Tweet

Speak truth…

Over the last few weeks I have begun a campaign of rebuking. When I find myself speaking negative things over myself, or over other people, I rebuke it in the name of Jesus. This means I do not claim it. I do not claim to be bound to that sin Christ has already freed me from. I do not claim for my children to struggle with things. And I do not claim it over my relationships.

I rebuke…
defensiveness.
being judgmental.
discontentment.
insecurity.
perfectionism.
laziness.

This does not mean I am in denial. Please don’t hear that. It is absolutely acknowledging reality. But it is acknowledging the sinful reality, and then replacing it Christ’s reality. After all, the truth (God’s truth) is what will set us free.

Your turn…

What nasty lies are you speaking over yourself?

Who can you turn to, to speak truth over you?

Want to dig deeper?

There is a Study Group beginning Sunday, June 3rd on Facebook. I would love to have you be a part of it! To grab a copy of the book, click the image below.

Patience during a difficult season requires trusting that the Lord has greater things in store. What are you trusting God for?

For awhile it seemed like my life was moving backwards. I was 21 year old when I bought my first place. It was this cute 2 bedroom townhouse with an attached garage. Then we moved to Atlanta where we lived in a 500 square foot studio in a high rise. We gained a sweet view of downtown, but we no longer had a washer and dryer. Had to go to the basement for that. There was a parking garage with one assigned spot. My poor husband had to fight for an open place.

After that, we moved to the suburbs of Chicago. Here we lost the air conditioning and the dishwasher. Laundry in the cellar, had to go outside to get to it. But at least we could park in the driveway. Then we moved into the city. We got the AC back, but lost parking. Had to find it on the street and dig out our spot when it snowed. Still no washer and dryer, no dishwasher. Also, there was no sunshine. First floor apartments with buildings 3 feet away don’t allow for much sun to penetrate. At the next place we got the sunshine back (third floor), but lost the ac again. No ac, no dishwasher, no washer/dryer, no parking. Three flights of stairs and a newborn. Whew!

After a year and a half in that apartment, we finally were able to buy a house. An actual house! With a yard! The yard was smaller than the garden we had when I was growing up, but I was thrilled to have it. We got back the AC, the garage, the washer/dryer, and four years after we moved in we put in a dishwasher.

We did so much to that house. Complete gut rehab of the second floor. While I was pregnant. We have a picture of me five months pregnant swinging a sledge hammer busting out plaster. We finished it two weeks before my second son was born. This was a rough time physically, financially, and mentally. At one point a rat got in our house because there was a hole in the concrete of the basement. A RAT!! IN OUR HOUSE!!! Then we got busted and fined by city for doing work without a permit. There I was, eight months pregnant, standing before a judge, begging for mercy.

Difficult times…

Our 8 years in Chicago were hard. Of course there are the basic Chicago things that all Chicagoans deal with. Harsh winters that just won’t end. Traffic that moves so slow you might as well walk. People that speak harshly and are unfriendly. The permits, tickets, and fees that make you paranoid to drive your car anywhere. But we also dealt with my hubby losing his job, opening and running a money devouring business, living in crappy apartments, living through a rehab, and a rat.

I wanted to leave so badly. I cried so many tears, begging God to get us out of there. We tried so many times to get out. Once, we were seriously considering a job opportunity for my husband in Seattle. He made it through three rounds of interviews until that door was closed. Praise the Lord it was. I would have been even more miserable there. There was an opportunity to move back home to Louisville at one point that I was truly disappointed didn’t work out. When we were actually at the point where we could move, we thought we would move back to Atlanta. That seemed to make the most sense. It’s a big city with lots of job opportunities, great weather, and we still have friends there. But alas, this was not to be either.

Greater things…

The Lord had something even greater in mind. He gave us even more than what we asked for. Atlanta would not have solved all the problem that we were dealing with in Chicago. It still has a high cost of living, it still has bad crime, it still has bad schools, and of course it still has bad traffic. I didn’t know a thing about Greenville, SC before my husband had his phone interview phone for the position here. The first time either of us ever stepped foot in Greenville was when we came with the moving van.

Not everybody is miserable is Chicago. I have dear friends who live there and they love it. It’s home for them, and I am thrilled that they feel that way. There is such peace in feeling “home”. But not once in 8 years did we feel “home”. We had many moments of joy there, including friendships that will age with me. But we knew we were not meant to stay there. Even though we struggled, we knew we were where we needed to be for that long season in our lives. We knew it wasn’t time to leave yet, no matter how desperately we wanted to. Waiting is difficult.

Wait for The Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for The Lord.

Psalm 27:14, ESV

Patience

We learned that we had to be patient. And we had to wait for The Lord’s perfect timing. I’m relieved that when doors were closed we didn’t try to force them open, although I was standing there with a crowbar feeling tempted to do so. I would pray, “Lord help me feel at home!” I wanted to want to be there. Then I prayed, “help me feel at peace.” And I would for a period of time. Sometimes we are called to stand and fight (like David and Goliath), and sometimes we are told to run away (like Joseph and Mary fleeing to Egypt). I believe we never felt at home because we were never meant to stay.

It takes trust to learn patience. So if you find yourself in a situation where you feel desperate to escape, be encouraged! Trust that The Lord knows, and cares. Know that His timing is perfect. And there is nothing wrong with crying while you wait.

It takes trust to learn patience. So if you find yourself in a situation where you feel desperate to escape, be encouraged! Click To Tweet

Post was originally published January 2015

Simeon Muller

I grew up hearing the word, faith, but did not understand what it meant. It was talked about at home and at church. But not until prayers went unanswered did I truly grasp it.

It was the Spring of 2003. My husband and I had been married for 2 and a half years, and everything was about to change. He had finished his undergrad but was unable to find work, so we decided he should do more schooling (because that’s what you’re suppose to do, right?). We were going to move to Atlanta for him to go to the school he felt would be most beneficial. We were super excited, I love a good adventure! So, we put our townhouse on the market, and within a week, it sold. Easy! That evening I called my parents to tell them the good news. They were happy for us, but my mom just didn’t sound quite right. Actually, she had been feeling bad for a while.

That night, after we spoke, my father had to call an ambulance to take her to the hospital. At first, they thought it was a ruptured ulcer. When they took her into surgery, they were to discover a mass the size of a football in her abdomen. It was cancer. Her body was so weak, they put her in a drug induced coma for weeks. Once she was awake, they told us that if they don’t do chemo, the cancer could kill her in a month. But, if they did chemo, it could kill her in a week. Gee, thanks. She was coherent, so she chose to try the chemo. She made it through the first two like a champ. The third, destroyed her body. She died 4 months exactly from the night of my phone call to her. She never left the hospital.

While she was in the hospital, I said to my dad, “How can we possibly move now?” He told me, “You’re moving. Your mom would hate to be the cause of you not doing this.” Alright, fine. And besides, it was ok because we all had “faith” she would recover; that she would be healed. And for a while it did seem like she was going to make it. The doctors were making a plan for her to go home, and training my family on how to care for her. Our prayers were being answered, and our faith rewarded. Or so we thought.

What is faith?

Here’s the problem: not all prayers (wishes) are answered (granted). It made me wonder, is it because people don’t have “enough” faith? And if that is the way it works, does that mean we can manipulate God to do what we want? How dare us, mere humans, try to control The Lord of the Universe! But there are many scriptures where Jesus does heal people because of their faith.

Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.

Matthew 15:28, ESV

So I kept going to the scripture that actually defines what faith is, trying to figure this thing out.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1, ESV

Faith is not…

That doesn’t seem to help much either. I mean, I had “faith” she would be healed, meaning I “hoped” she would be healed. But that didn’t really jive with other scripture in the Bible. Sure, Joseph ended up doing great things, but good grief, he got royally screwed. And screwed. And then screwed some more. But he never gave up having faith. So maybe, just maybe, this faith thing has nothing (NOTHING) to do with my circumstances. Maybe “faith” is not believing in something, but rather trusting in Someone.

There is another scripture where Jesus heals a cripple:

Some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.”

Matthew 9:2, ESV

Wait a minute! He didn’t heal him at first! The miracle was not in the healing. The miracle was forgiveness!! And that’s what made the religious leaders mad. It was to show the leaders that he was the Son of God that he healed the man. So then that got me thinking more. If there is a God (which I believe) and He sent His son to earth so that we could have a relationship with Him (which I believe) and I have been forgiven (which I needed) and the point of my life is to glorify this God (which I try), then that must mean He would receive more glory from her dying, than if she lived.

Maybe 'faith' is not believing in something, but rather trusting in Someone. Click To Tweet

Faith is…

Could she have been healed? Absolutely! But she wasn’t. If I’m going to claim to be a follower of Christ, then that means I have to trust when things are good, and trust when things are bad.

I did ask for something after coming to this realization. “Lord, I know that I may never understand why she had to die, when she did and the way she did. But if you could ever let me know, that would be great.” And then I received an answer. Because of my love for running, I ran my second marathon with Team in Training in honor of my mother who had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. During training I met a friend who has held such a special place in my heart. It occurred to me that if my mom had not died, when she did, and in the way she did, I would never have met her. It doesn’t mean that I wanted my mom to die, or that I will ever stop missing her; but it gives me such peace to know that the Lord is always at work.

I have faith that God is who He says He is, and I believe that Jesus is His son. My faith is not in what God can do for me. My faith is that He is God, and I can trust Him. I don’t know if The Lord will heal your dad, or get you a job, or allow you to have a child. But I do know that He is Good.

This post was originally published January 2015.

Han Chenxu

Life is like a marathon, you have to keep a steady pace in order to finish strong. Going too fast? Too slow? Are you able to focus? Are you carrying an extra load, and need some grace?

This post was originally published August 2014 

I love to run. Like, really, really, really love to run. I have been running marathons for a while now. Have completed 14 in 14 different states. Yep, I’m going for all 50 (by the time I’m 50). This year I have gotten into trail running, which is a blast and a whole new challenge. I also have completed a couple triathlons this year. A sprint, and then a half-ironman. But pretty much, I just put up with the swimming and cycling so that I can put my feet on the ground and run, run, run!

I have yet been tempted to complete an Ultra. I’m surprised that I haven’t considered it. I have a friend that is training for a 50 mile Ultra, and I think she’s nuts. Actually, I admire her greatly. I have considered, and plan to complete a series. Five marathons in five days. Sounds like fun, right?!?!?

So, like I said, I love to run. In fact, several years ago, I had the brilliant idea to blog about running. And then I realized that there wasn’t a whole lot to say about it. Every article would say, “I love running, I feel great!” Or, “I love running, my knee hurts!” Or, “I love running, I peed in the woods!”

Keeping the pace…

There is one thing though, that helps me in a lot of life situations. The main life lesson from running. I realized that life is like running a marathon and keeping the appropriate pace.

Too fast

“Am I going too fast, will I get burned out?” How many times in life are we doing too much. Too many commitments, too many pressures. We’re gasping for air and getting a cramp in our side. We have to learn to limit ourselves, know where our limits are, and how to say NO!

Too slow

“Am I reserving too much, could I go faster?” This occurs less often, for sure. But there are runners that are so afraid of burning out before that 26th mile marker that they reserve too much. They finish the marathon and feel disappointed because they have too much energy left. They could have done more and they know it. Could we do more in life? Are we just taking the easy path, too afraid of the pain that may come from pushing ourselves?

Focus

In running a marathon, you have to focus on the present. If you think at mile 5 about the fact that you have 21 more to go, you are going to panic and feel overwhelmed. Is the pace you are going strong? Should you slow down? Speed up? As in life, this comes with experience.

Grace

And then, sometimes we have to run with a baby jogger. There are seasons in life when we have to push/carry a load. And at those times, we shouldn’t expect ourselves to continue at the pace we normally do. We need to give ourselves a break, and extend grace to ourselves.

Your turn…

What is your pace like? Are you able to carry on with endurance?

Todd Diemer

Scripture tells us that we are victorious. But what, exactly, have we been a conqueror over? If we were really victorious, why do we feel weary, and defeated? How do we fight?

I’m a bit of a brawler. I am little, but in some situations I act like I am 6 foot 4, and 250 pounds. Typically, I blame this on my mother. She was the same way. Getting my dad into fights, being kicked out of places. She blamed it on being Irish and high blood pressure.

When I feel passionate about something, mainly my family and my friends, I am completely devoted. And there better not be anyone messing with them. My mama bear instincts come out strong for all those I care about. I’ll fight, and deal with the consequences later if I need to.

I’m not one to cower. I know who the real enemy is, and I know how to fight. This is why the other day I found myself “prayer boxing”. Yep, I was spouting scripture while throwing punches. Jab, jab, hook.

We have superpowers…

With Jesus in our heart, we have superpowers. We have HIS power.

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16:33, NIV

Since it is not us who have the superpower, our best way to fight is to call upon the Lord to do the fighting. Our job is to stand firm. Standing firm requires being rooted in scripture and knowing who God is.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

James 4:7, ESV

Victorious…

…we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Romans 8:37, ESV

I’m not saying with these powers we won’t suffer. Actually, I guarantee that we will. I love that verse in Romans, stating I am a conqueror. It makes me feel strong, and powerful. It is not, though, the full story. The first part of that verse says, “in all these things”. And what are these things that we are conquerors over? According to verse 35, in the New Living Translation, it is: trouble, calamity, persecution, hunger, destitution, danger, death.

The superpower doesn’t mean that we are immune from attack. It does, however, allow us to overcome in spite of the suffering. In spite of our world crumbling around us, we stand with a joy and a peace that makes no sense. We can do this because nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:39).

The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:7, ESV

Our victory is not over hardship; it is over evil, and sin. Our battles are raging, but we are guaranteed victory.

For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. And who can win this battle against the world? Only those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God.

1 John 5:4-5, NLT

When we are weary…

There are times though that we become weary. The battle is unrelenting. Our defenses are low. We are tempted to give up and give in. The Lord knows this, and we are not condemned for this. Please don’t hear me saying that we are wrong or weak if we are weary. Conviction, maybe, but that comes from the Lord. Guilt, and shame, do not!

In these moments, we need the help and support of others. It’s time to call in for back up. When we can no longer stand and fight, bring in reinforcements, people who will take up the fight for you. We are to carry one another’s burden (Galatians 6:2). Know who you can call upon, and being vulnerable, ask for help.

When we can no longer stand and fight, bring in reinforcements, people who will take up the fight for you. Click To Tweet

Your battle…

What battle are you fighting? Do you need someone to stand with you? The ladies at Oh Lord Help Us are willing to stand with you in battle. If you would like prayer, please reach out.

Lucas Silva Pinheiro Santos

The love of God is folly. His love is overwhelming, and illogical. We cannot even comprehend the magnitude of His love. Nothing will stop Him from pursuing His love.

When my husband and I first began dating, we would find any excuse to spend time together. One of our favorite activities was to put together jigsaw puzzles. We would stay up so late, sitting in my parent’s living room, talking and laughing. There were times he didn’t leave until midnight, and he had to be up early the next morning for work. There was one time he came over even while he had a migraine. Nothing was going to stop him.

I also remember, as a young teenager, how in love my brother was with his now wife of 22 years. This one winter a blizzard hit our city, but that was not going to stop him from seeing his love. Once the snow stopped falling, but with the city still at a standstill, he bundled up and walked to her house without telling my parents where he was going. It was 6 miles. There was more than a foot of snow. Nothing was going to stop him.

Those overtures of love are special. To be wanted, to be loved and pursued, this makes us feel worth and value. But these are such minuscule demonstrations of love when we compare them to what God has done for us.

God’s Love

He gave up everything because of His love for us; His love for you.

He gave His child.

God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into this wicked world to bring to us eternal life through his death.

1 John 4:9

He gave His life.

No one can kill me without my consent—I lay down my life voluntarily. For I have the right and power to lay it down when I want to and also the right and power to take it again. For the Father has given me this right.

John 10:18

He took our punishment.

In this act we see what real love is: it is not our love for God but his love for us when he sent his Son to satisfy God’s anger against our sins.

1 John 4:10

Desperate Love

In order to understand His desperation for us, we must understand what was at stake. Because God is all good, He cannot allow evil. And we, dear friend, are an evil people born into an evil world. I know that sounds incredibly harsh, and you may be thinking, “How dare you, I am a good person!” But it is not about being good, it is about being perfect. God’s standard is perfection. Part of this standard of perfection is that we put Him above all other things. I don’t, and I know you don’t, therefore we have failed. If we are not perfect, we are sinful. If we are sinful, we are evil. There is no gray here.

Because of our evil, and His perfection, we have been separated from His presence. We owe a debt for our sins. Justice must be served. We are not, however, able to pay that debt and be reunited with Him. His desperation for us is so intense, He made a way.

Think about this, He hasn’t withheld our punishment. It’s not that He changed His mind. The punishment was given, and it was received by Jesus. He took it all. And the punishment was not just the excruciating torture and death. The punishment that truly broke Jesus was that God turned away from him. Never before had the Father and the Son not been in complete unity. But because of our sin that blackened his soul, God (who is all good) could no longer look upon him.

The debt for sin has been paid.

The Love of God is Folly

How could we ever ask for more? Yet, He invites us to do just that. He loves us so immensely, that He desires to continue to poor out His blessings. This may not mean we get what we ask for, but we have the freedom to ask, and can trust the answer given because we can trust His love for us.

So what is this kind of love that gives…and gives…and gives. It’s foolish! The love of God is ridiculously foolish. Nothing, NOTHING, is going to stop Him from being with you. The French say,  L’amour de Dieu est folie! The love of God is folly.

The love of God is ridiculously foolish. Nothing, NOTHING, is going to stop Him from being with you. Click To Tweet

Do you know you are loved? Do you know the gift being offered to you? Will you accept it?

All scripture from TLB.

John Peters