Dodie

Freedom: Seven Verses to Break the Bondage of Should and Ought

Devotionals, Stay SaneNovember 5, 2017June 28, 2019

Many of us women find ourselves enslaved to the bondage of what we “should” and “ought” to do. Freedom from this way of life is possible if we fight for it.

You should eat more vegetables.

You should get more exercise.

You should lose that ten pounds…yesterday.

You should read your Bible more. And while we’re at it, you should pray more.

You ought to be more kind…and really, you should visit your mother more often.

You ought to adopt one of those Compassion children… Or give money to save those sad, quivering dogs shown on the commercials during your favorite television shows. (Why are they always cold?)

Freedom From: Measuring Up

Sometimes it’s like a ceaseless loop spinning in my brain, the constant ‘shoulds and oughts’ whispering. Or screaming, depending on the day. Each whisper holds the same underlying message: I don’t make the bar; I didn’t measure up to an unknowable goal.

This is a battle of the mind, and a battle of the spirit and a war too many women fight. Regardless of age, race, or education, there are few women with whom I have been acquainted who have not struggled with the inner voice of ‘shoulds and oughts.’

Bondage: The Source

From where or whom does it originate? Obviously, it belies a lack of self-esteem, but it appears to be most rampant among females. There are many possible reasons.

Home

For some, it began in a home where perfection was expected and average was seldom accepted as ‘good enough.’ For others, abandonment or neglect in childhood bred feelings of not being valuable. Childhood sexual abuse also kills self-worth.

Church

Others attend, or grew up attending churches with rigid doctrine concerning God. God was used as a threat. He was angry or didn’t love us if we did this or that (or didn’t do this or that). This is completely NOT scriptural. However, it is completely controlling for a leader to use in manipulating the flock to do his own will. In reality, Scripture teaches clearly of the Father’s unfailing love for us, of His infinite patience, and His desire that none should perish. But that all should come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9). (Please don’t read this to mean I believe that God doesn’t punish sin. However, His punishment is never punitive, as a person’s might be).

Culture

The culture in which we live has placed a great deal of ‘shoulds’ on females today. For instance, every single girl or woman should have peaches and cream skin, be at least 5 feet 7 inches, and have the body of a size 2…with a bra size of at least 36C. Probably 98% of the females who walk the planet do not possess these traits. Consequently, there is an epidemic of women everywhere who are ashamed of their bodies and/or looks. In the seventies, PR departments of clothing and makeup companies co-opted what was once a normal, average female body and convinced at least half of the population that they were not as thin or beautiful as they should be…

And Satan loved it so.

Bondage: The Result

As a result, depression has taken a significant leap in teen girls in recent years and eating disorders are not just for kids

Scripture’s Should and Ought’s

Then He spoke a parable to them that men always ought to pray and not lose heart…
Luke 18:1

If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.
John 13:14-15

But Peter and the other apostles answered and said: “We ought to obey God rather than men.”
Acts 5:29

We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples [weaknesses] of the weak, and not to please ourselves.
Romans 15:1

And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit of power, that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.
I Corinthians 2:4-5

…bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so also should you.
Colossians 3:13

For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
I John 3:11

Freedom

There are several more verses to offer, but truthfully, if my heart and mind will focus on Scripture’s oughts, the lies will cease. In fact, they have stopped occurring as often as they did in the past. Satan is a slow learner, but he does finally get the hint.

And in the midst of it all, I am learning how to be a little more like my Lord and Teacher, Jesus Christ.

The next time you find yourself trapped in the bondage of should and ought, fight for freedom with the Word.

If you have found this inspiring, share the encouragement…

Scripture is authored by the One who loves us more than any one of us can fathom. Click To Tweet

The world continually feeds us the lie that we need to be different. Replace that lie with truth. Because you have been loved, pursued, and redeemed by Christ, you are enough!

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Dawid Zawiła

brave, courage, courageous, tribulation, suffering, despair, peace

Brave: Having Courage Amidst Suffering

Devotionals, Stay SaneOctober 11, 2017January 13, 2019

In the midst of tribulation, distress, and suffering, we don’t need to hide. Instead, we can be brave living with courage and complete peace.

Brave

What movie character comes to your mind when you think about someone who is brave? Is it an old movie or a newer one? I’m telling my age here, but Harrison Ford often played courageous roles, such as the president in “Air Force One” and Jack Ryan, the CIA analyst in the Tom Clancy-inspired movies. (Probably not a good idea to let him get in a plane these days!)

For many years, my son-in-law, who is a captain in the military, practically idolized the legendary thirteenth century Scottish hero named William Wallace; I’m convinced he wasn’t alone in his adulation. Wallace was played by Mel Gibson in the movie, (have you guessed it?), “Braveheart.” Grown men far and wide beat their chests and secretly fantasized about being William Wallace, or at the very least, saddling up and galloping to a bloody victory beside him. It’s a guy thing.

Recently, I read an article about not giving into fear as we age, but rather “staying brave.” The author related carefree activities she took part in as a young woman which she has been too fearful to do as an older woman, such as driving alone on a long-distance trip. Her insights are interesting; dancing in the rain, traveling a distance alone, walking in the dark, depending on the individual, may each require a level of bravery, but I am not convinced that what she is offering is the definition of being brave.

Brave is defined as possessing or exhibiting courage or courageous endurance.

Hm.

Courage is defined as the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc. without fear.

Ah, there it is; that’s what I am trying to put my finger on – the spirit within which enables a person to face the giant in the middle of the road we’re walking on.

Courage Amidst Suffering

In the past several days, as horror has soaked through our shock upon realizing the carnage one individual can wreak on so many lives, we have also learned that bravery is not a lost character trait in the twenty-first century, as many in my generation have begun to wonder. Countless selfless acts have been reported, some of which cost people their own lives while they protected others. First responders and police officers running toward the gunfire to steer people away from it, civilians risking their lives to lead others to safety; a husband giving his life to save his wife’s are only a few of the stories we have heard. We marvel at their courage and silently pray that we will be as brave should we ever, God forbid, find ourselves in similar circumstances.

I wonder why we are always numbed with shock when horrible things happen in this world? Thank God we can still be shocked, yes! However, it seems Christians have just as much trouble as nonbelievers grasping the evil byproduct the prince of this world foments…as though there remains within us a stubborn resistance to the truth that the Scriptures repeatedly spoke to us about evil. I John 5:19 states clearly that the whole world lies in the power of the evil one. In Mark 7:20-23 (ESV) Jesus says (I’m talking red letters here) after expounding on a list of what defiles someone, “All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” Lastly, as a final reminder that evil was here to stay until He returned, Jesus spoke:

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

John 16:33, ESV

Yes, Jesus was attempting to reassure His disciples, but also His future disciples – us. I love how the Amplified version expounds on this verse. It helps me tease out the richer meaning of the original words that get lost in translation:

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory is abiding.]

John 16:33, AMP

Final Thoughts

2017 has definitely been a year for tribulation, distress and suffering in America alone, not to mention other areas of the world where hurricanes, mudslides and wars are occurring. It can feel overwhelming to hear one tragedy on the heels of another, one appeal for help right after another one. What are we to do? Be afraid because the “end” is near, as some believe?…

It can feel overwhelming to hear one tragedy on the heels of another... What are we to do? Click To Tweet

Not according to Jesus. In truth, we can have complete peace in Him. In the midst of tribulation, distress, and suffering, we don’t need to hide or quake in our boots, but rather, Jesus told us to do the opposite of what seems to come naturally to many of us. He said to be courageous! ‘And while you’re at it, have some joy with that courage because I have overcome the world, folks, so what could you possibly be afraid of??’

And like William Wallace, strap on some armor…

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

Ephesians 6:12-13 ESV

Be brave, sisters.

Encourage others in their pursuit of bravery. These notecards are a reminder that our world may be full of battles, but God has overcome the world!!

Brian Cook

Temporary Things

Devotionals, Stay SaneSeptember 24, 2017June 27, 2019

We live each day investing our time in things, events, pursuits as though they are permanent, but it really comes down to just these two things…

I’m going to pull a ‘church lady’ here, so bear with me. You might even want to imagine the next words being said with a Southern accent, although I am not considered Southern – probably more country than Southern, truth be told. (But I do love me some Paula Dean!)

OK, here goes: I’m really happy to be asked to share space on this site with other women who love Jesus…

and who don’t whitewash the truth about their lives and their spiritual walk.

(Oops, that last part slipped out!) 😉

I’m a lifelong learner. In fact, way back in the day before it was the hip thing to do, I home educated our three children for 13 years for somewhat selfish reasons – because it was so much fun for me to learn that cool stuff with them! They were seldom as enthralled by those science experiments as I was, for some reason.

Despite a Master’s in Theology and a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, decades of volunteer service, or jobs, it is my enduring 45 year marriage to a man who is practically a saint, (he’d probably agree with me after living with this crazy lady since I was practically a BABY!) our 3 incredibly talented adult children, their loving, wonderful spouses, and our 6 greater-than-grand grandchildren are the greatest gifts, blessings and ‘achievements’ I can count as my treasures before God. During seasons when I grasp for measurable rewards or accolades for things these hands or this brain begin to believe they have accomplished, the Spirit nudges me back, (or if necessary, shoves me,) to the reality of 2 Corinthians 4:18 (NKJV):

…while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

“For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” If it was possible, it might help me to have that tattooed in fluorescent ink on my eyelids as a reminder that all the razzle-dazzle of this life – be it material things, awards, praise, the next goal realized, whatever rings your chimes or mine – is tem -po – rar – y…

…as in fades away like that bright red beach towel that was in the sun too long

…as in it dies like I wish the weeds in my flower beds would

…as in it doesn’t last any longer than a middle-school crush.

Temporary – not permanent, as the dictionary simply states it.

Yet, we live each day investing our time in things, events, pursuits as though they ARE permanent, as though our very breath, our entire existence depends on them, as though they are – well – eternal. According to Paul, and I believe he’s on solid ground with God here, the only things which are lasting forever, are NOT seen…

Huh?

Yeah; seems weird, but it makes more sense when we recall what Jesus said in Matthew 6:19-21 (NKJV):

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

So, you might be asking, or need a nudge toward reminding, what – out of all the affairs of life in which we heavily invest – is eternal? Surprisingly, only two…the Word of God…and people.

Everything else, as Charles Swindoll so eloquently put it in a 2015 article, “is headed for the final bonfire,” (2 Peter 3:7; 1 Peter 1:25 NKJV).

Jesus said in Matthew 24:35 (NIV):

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

That sounds pretty “eternal” to me.

I John 2:17 (NKJV) encourages us with this:

And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.

It’s sobering, really, when I consider all the hours, days, years I have invested in stuff that will be burned up. I’m not implying that all was vain, but much of what I spent striving for, worrying about, stressing over falls into the “temporary” file.

...much of what I spent striving for, worrying about, stressing over falls into the 'temporary' file. Click To Tweet

Do you remember the credit card commercial asking us, “What’s in your wallet?” Dumb commercial, but for some reason, it makes me think about those two things that are eternal. What’s in my ‘eternal’ file?

I just wonder, who will be in eternity with me because I invested God’s Word in them?

Who will be in eternity because of your investment?

Annie Spratt