When I took my oldest, now eight years old, to his 6 month old check up, the doctor informed me that he was dropping in his weight percentile. I was concerned, and disappointed, and sad. The reason for his drop in growth was due to my drop in milk supply. My desire to nurse urged me to fight to keep my supply from dropping. I began drinking Mother’s Milk tea several times a day, pumping after nursing, and extra pumping sessions. It was exhausting. And I was working as a dental hygienist at the time, which made it even worse. It was quite difficult to fit in the pumping between patients.

The first four months I had more milk than I could keep up with, so I just kept pumping and putting it in the freezer. Thankfully I had this to supplement with once I knew that he was not getting enough from nursing alone. But my extra supply was dwindling, and going quick. When I had to start supplementing with formula, it was torture. I know this is ridiculous. I was a formula baby, and I am healthy. Lots of babies grow and develop perfectly on formula. I don’t think badly of other moms that decide to use formula, for whatever their reason. But to be honest, I cried like I was giving him poison.

Turns out, formula was just fine. And I was happier. I was no longer stressed and obsessing over my supply. I was able to stop before he got teeth. I loved having my body back to myself, even if I was never going to be quite the same again. I had found freedom and independence!

When my second was born, now 4 years old, I recognized the same thing happening again. He started fussing after feedings because he was still hungry. And like before, I had plenty of extra in the freezer to supplement with. But unlike before, I did not fret about switching to formula. I was kinda giddy about it to be honest.

Now, with my third, who is 8 months old, I thought things would be different. I figured that my supply had dropped with the first two because I was working outside the home and relying on pumping about a third of the time. With my daughter, I have been able to be home and nurse consistently. But just like before, right around 6 months, I could tell my supply was dropping. I admit, I wasn’t ready to stop nursing her, so I did fight for it. Not enough to stress over it, but I did what I could. She is just so sweet, I didn’t want to lose that time with her.

So here I am, completely done with nursing, forever. I had my week of feeling sad and trying to soak in every moment I had left of it. And then I let it go.

To help in this time of transition, I came up with a list of reasons of…

Why to be Happy When the Milk Dries Up

#1 I can lay on my belly.

Seriously, I love being able to do this finally. My neck, however, does not appreciate it.

#2 I don’t feel self-conscious of actually having cleavage.

I’m what you might call “flat-chested.” Actually, there is no might. I am indeed flat-chested. Which means I never have to worry about showing too much. So I’m super paranoid when I’m nursing and am a whopping size B (even a size C the first few weeks after giving birth)!!!

#3 I can have a glass of wine in the middle of the day.

This is oddly very liberating. I feel like I’m getting away with something.

#4 I can take cold medicine if I have a cold.

Getting sick is always a bummer, but getting sick while pregnant or nursing is especially cruddy. You just have to suffer through.

#5 I can exercise without wearing multiple sports bras.

I love running, you all know that. And I’m flat-chested, you all now know that too. So it is super annoying to all of a sudden have boobs that bounce while running. I’m thrilled to be done with that.

#6 I have extra freezer space for ice cream.

The first 4 months of nursing I produce crazy amounts, which is great, but my freezer was half-full with bags of milk. At one point I have over a gallon’s worth of frozen milk.

#7 I don’t have to worry about my milk letting down while being intimate.

I’m not going to elaborate.

#8 I can have a second beer if we go out to eat.

Before, if we did get to go out to eat (which was maybe twice) I couldn’t do this since my boobs were “on-call” for the rest of the night.

#9 I can be away from my child for more than 3 hours.

FREEDOM!!!!!

My little girl loved to play with my face while she nursed. It was all sweet until her razor blade fingernails dug in.

Did you have a difficult time when you stopped nursing? Was it your choice? How did you handle the transition? Leave a comment below, or on the Facebook page. I look forward to hearing your stories!

One of the joys of homeschooling is getting to hear all of the quirky thoughts my seven year old has. I have always loved seeing his mind work and listening to way he explains things. When he was 5 years old he asked me, “Mom can you call your mom in heaven?” So sweet. I responded, “No Bud, it doesn’t work that way.” Very innocently he replied, “Oh, is your phone not that smart?” No. No it’s not.

With homeschooling, science is not required at the second grade level, so I let him pick what he wanted to learn about. It was no surprise that he chose animals. The boy is obsessed with Wild Kratts, and these wildlife cards that my hubby had as a child. Several weeks ago the lesson he was learning was about mammals, and what makes a mammal a mammal. You know, stuff like they give birth to live babies instead of eggs, they have fur or hair, they breathe with lungs, they have mammary glands, and are warm-blooded. After going over these mammal facts, my son asks me (you know what’s coming), “What are mammary glands?”

Now let me pause a moment and share with you that my son from the age of 3 has been a “boob man.” It’s true. He’s always been curious about them and noticed them early on. My approach has always been to just be matter-of-fact about it and not make it a big deal. At 3 he pointed to a boob and asked, “What is this?” At 4 he pointed to an undressed manequin in Old Navy and said, “Whoa! Those are some big nipples!” At 5 he asked, “Why don’t all girls have those balls of skin?” At 6 he started to ask, “Why do girls even have breasts?” I must say, I believe in each of those situations I handled myself quite well and maintained my composure while being direct and honest. Lord help me.

So back to the science lesson. I explained to him that it was the mammary glands that allowed mothers to feed their babies. And then I continued to say how incredible it is that can females not only grow a living thing within ourselves (keep in mind that I was 9 months pregnant at the time), but that our bodies are then able to feed the baby as well. He looked at me with awe and said, “That’s like a super power. I wish I had super powers like that.” I love him so much. What an incredible perspective. Yes, I am a woman and I have amazing super powers! I felt so empowered after that conversation with him.

“Yes, I am a woman and I have amazing super powers!”

And it is amazing, isn’t it? That life with a beating heart occurs from these two tiny things that join together. And it grows, with it’s very own blood type and separate DNA. And then, somehow, the mother’s body just knows to get it out at just the right time. And this tiny life that has never breathed air suddenly knows how to breathe. And this little mouth is equipped with a reflex to suck. And it grows and develops. It’s all designed so perfectly.

Perfect.

But it’s not always like that is it? The odds of conceiving are actually really slim. Miscarriage is an all too real risk. Birth defects occur. Complications in delivery happen. Not all babies get the hang of nursing. Children get sick. Families come apart.

But… But in this moment I am thankful and strong. I am thankful for the gift of these super powers. I am thankful for these children. And I will strive to hold them with strong arms and open hands and a loving heart.

What are your super powers?

photo credit: Brandon Morgan