I try to tell it to my children pretty straight. I figure if I talk to them matter-of-factly, then things won’t be a big deal. We’ve talked about why Pop can’t have sugar (diabetes), why my mom is not alive (cancer), and what those balls of skin are on women (yep, breasts). But there are things that we lie about or lie via omission. Mainly because they wouldn’t understand, or we want to protect their innocence.
A big one for us (and lots of others) has been Santa Claus. I was torn on how to handle this. Growing up the youngest of four, I never had a chance to believe in Santa Claus. I did grow up learning about St. Nicholas and the things he did for others and how that turned into what we now know about Santa Claus. So I figured this is what we would do with our children. But then one Christmas, when my older son was not yet 4, he said on his own that his presents were from Santa. He was not in school, and we rarely watch tv. I was shocked at how easily he believed, and disappointed that he didn’t know the gifts were from us. Now I play into it, but I feel a little bad about it every year, knowing that he will be heartbroken when he finds out.
I was all prepared to draw the line with Ol’ Saint Nick. Then he started talking about the Easter bunny. What the heck! He caught me in a mischievous mood last year and I said, “I have a secret! Dad. He is the….Easter bunny! Shhh, don’t tell anyone!” And that seemed to actually go over pretty well. He actually thought that my husband turned into a rabbit and brought kiddos candy.
My son has now started to lose his baby teeth. It was a long time coming. He was the last in his class to lose a tooth. This tooth was driving me nuts. It was so loose that it would stick straight out. I kept trying to get him to let me pull it, but he wasn’t going for it. Understandably, it was the first tooth and he was nervous about what to expect. I told him that I just wanted to wiggle it (a lie) and I pulled that sucker outta there! I didn’t win any parenting awards that day. He was quite traumatized. Eventually he calmed down and got excited that he had finally lost his first tooth.
Then the fun really began.
“Mom is the tooth fairy real?” Well, crap.
“What do you think?” Smooth, right?
“I don’t think she is.” This might not be so bad.
“Do you really want to know?” Should have stopped while I was ahead.
“Yes.” No! Don’t say it!
“The tooth fairy is not real.” Absolute heartbreak, massive tears, loud sobbing. “You said you didn’t think she was real!” Way to put it on the kid.
“But I wanted her to be!” Crap, now what.
“Okay, well maybe I’m wrong.” Way to really confuse the kid.
“Maybe you just haven’t seen her.” Sure.
“You’re going to believe whatever it is you want to believe.” Like I said, no parenting awards that day.
Of course that night I put a quarter under his bed. But not until I got dressed up. I thought, what if he wakes up. Then he’s going to blame me that I didn’t give the tooth fairy a chance to show up. So I put on a white skirt, a white tank top, white gloves, white scarf, and a tiara (everyone has white gloves and a tiara, right). With my pregnant belly, I was quite the site to behold. Ahh, the things we do for our kiddos. He of course did not wake up, but I did enjoy dressing up. The next morning he came out of his room in absolute triumph, “See mom! I told you she was real!” Sigh.
The next tooth he lost, I was feeling bold and didn’t dress up. I went in his room and started feeling around under his pillow. Stink! I couldn’t find it. I finally find it and he wakes up with my face about 8 inches from his. Quick! Think of another lie! “Are you ok? You were crying. It’s ok, go back to sleep.” Whew, that was a close one!
The next day he asked me if I was the one putting money under his pillow. I told him that I had told him the truth before, but he didn’t want to hear it. But that I had another secret for him. “I am the tooth fairy. Why do you think I became a dental hygienist. It’s my undercover disguise.” Clever, yes?
The third tooth he lost while we were having s’mores and he didn’t even know he had lost it. Not sure if it’s in the yard, or if he swallowed it.
“Mom, will I still get money even if I don’t have a tooth to put under my pillow?” Now it’s getting fun.
“This is an unusual situation, I’ll have to check my official ToothFairy Handbook to confirm protocol.”
That night, I just forgot to put the quarter under the pillow. The next morning I handed him the quarter and said, “I checked the rules, and it states that the tooth fairy can just hand you the money since there was no tooth to collect.” Parenting award granted.
At St. Patricks day he started talking about Leprechauns being real. Good grief. So I told him that his little brother was a leprechaun. Can you guess what we will all be dressing up as for halloween this year?
