In this episode we meet a mom who is living overseas, and whose son has severe food allergies. This is the first part of the interview, focusing on being a mom who deals with her son’s special diet. Next month we will learn what her life is like living in the Middle East.
This is a series to learn about different moms and their different situations. Through interviewing these women and sharing their stories I hope that we can all have a better understanding and appreciation of each other. Hopefully we can support and encourage her “in her corner.”
Who she is…
A mom of two boys, living on mission in the Middle East. They are not there as missionaries, but rather living among the people there, building relationships, and being prepared to share the message of Christ with them. Her husband’s career provided an opportunity for them to move there which has been beneficial due to her younger son having extreme food allergies.
Where she is at…
Literally, she is in the Middle East in a country that cannot be disclosed. The government there listens into phone calls, and uses phones to listen to conversations that you are having even if you are not using your phone. She has a secure VPN, so this interview took place via a video conferencing app, after she hid her phone in the other room.
Where she has been…
Things with her son started off difficult at birth. She had wanted a natural, unmedicated birth, and things were going as planned, up until she reached 10cm. He was coming down the birth canal throat first, which could have caused his neck to snap. Suddenly, everything changed. They were putting her under anesthesia in order to perform a c-section. The last thing she heard before going under was a nurse yelling that she couldn’t hear a heartbeat. When she awoke, she was in a room by herself feeling the fear that she had lost her son. Thankfully, he survived.
He was a slow grower, but initially they were not concerned. Both she and her husband are small people, so they naturally assumed he was just going to small. At eight months, however, they were really concerned with his lack of growth, and they started going in for monthly weight checks. She felt like nursing him was not enough, and he wasn’t interested in solids so they started giving him raw goat milk, which did help, but not a enough.
Around 10 months old he started to eat more solids. Then the rash started. By 12 months he was covered in what the doctors thought was eczema. Every doctor she went to prescribed him steroids, but she felt in her gut that is wasn’t truly eczema. It got to the point where he didn’t have any skin left. She would get him up in the morning and she would see blood in his crib.
“He looked like a burn victim.”
It took 6 months of searching for an answer before she found another mom whose child dealt with the same thing. They went to see the specialist that this mom recommended. What they discovered was that his intestinal wall was basically mesh. Everything he ate was leaking into his blood stream. His body was making allergies in order to fight the food particles.
The doctor started him on a series of injections that were specifically formulated for his body. These injections, that he receives every 2 weeks, were to begin right as they were going to be moving to the Middle East. The doctor, who said that her son is the worst case he has ever seen, taught her how to administer the injections so she could do it while they were over seas. They have seen a huge improvement in the past 9 months, with just occasional breakouts on his skin. They will eventually start spreading out the frequency of injections until they are able to wean him off.
Because his body develops new allergies due to the food particles leaking into his blood stream, they have to cycle his food. This way his body doesn’t have a chance to develop an allergy. At one point there were only 5 foods that he could eat, now he can have 30 different items.
His body is still not able to fully digest his food. He is not able to absorb all the nutrients of the food he consumes and this results in eliminating solid pieces of food. He was 18 months old before having a normal poop.
All she wants is for her son to be healed. Right before this past Christmas she saw that all his toenails needed to be cut. This was a gift of hope that his body is healing because he had so infrequently needed his nails trimmed. Now that his body is absorbing nutrients, his fingernails and hair are actually growing. He has gained 3.5lbs. in the past 9 months.
What her days look like…
She spends a lot of time cooking and preparing food for her son in large quantities and freezes them in individual portions. Then she cycles through them to make it easier for her to plan and keep track of his limited meal options.
It has been helpful living in the Middle East due to the dry climate and being close to the water. But it has been difficult trying to explain to people in a culture that loves to share and give food why they can’t do this for her son when she does not speak their language. She has learned the word for infection, but still struggles with communication.
“I was trying to explain to someone that he has an allergy. In arabic it would have been translated literally, ‘the infection belongs to him.’ But how it came out was, ‘No thank you, you have an infection.’“
Food allergies are not common there. The diet consists mostly of rice and fresh fish. Grocery shopping is difficult because items come in on ship freighters, and there are not regular shipments of them. If there is an item she likes to buy for her son, but they run out, it may be another 6 months before it is back in stock.
“I have started hoarding!”
What her strengths are…
She is an organized person that likes schedules and lists. It has been fun for her to learn new recipes and be creative with the few foods he can have.
What she struggles with…
Even though she likes planning, she is not always good at implementing. She tends to procrastinate which results in running out of stuff which results in him not eating as healthy as he should on some days.
She struggles that they can’t all sit down and eat the same meal. She hates that she has to always carry food around with her.
This aspect of their lives has been a burden that she has been carrying for a while now, and because of this she has adjusted to the weight of the load. She looks forward to when she no longer has to be consumed with food rotations being a part of her everyday life.
What her fears are…
She is nervous about putting him in school if things are not yet cleared up. She worries that he will eat things that he is not suppose to because she won’t be there to monitor.
She is afraid that he won’t ever get better. And she wants to make sure that he doesn’t feel limited in life by this.
What her joys are…
It has been sweet for her to see how her older son is super protective.
She believes that their family is becoming more like Christ, having to serve her son by sacrificing at times what the rest of them want to do. It has made them more unified as a family.
How she stays sane…
Starbucks.
“I used to go running, but I can’t go running here. I can’t dress modestly enough to run in the heat.”
The Starbucks there is exactly the same as a Starbucks in America, so it is a piece of home.
She also takes an arabic class twice a week that has given her something to focus on.
What she wants others to understand…
“Before we had a diagnosis, everybody under the sun had an article for us to read, and an essential oil to put on him.”
Don’t be so quick to offer information, instead offer a listening ear.
“I’m already overwhelmed, in the doctor’s office trying to figure it out, spending so much money on yet another treatment.”
She feels grateful when people validate what she deals with.
“Someone saying ‘Man, that takes a lot of energy.’ has meant more to me than anything else.”
Oh mommas! We never really know what others are dealing with. Let’s encourage one another, support one another, and love one another. Hang in there momma, you got this!
Are you a momma that needs encouragement? Do you know someone that needs someone in her corner? I would love to meet her! Please feel free to contact me and we can chat.
xoxo
