Most of the time my boys are happy to help. They feel important and needed. And this is good, since they are important and needed. But notice that I said most, not all of the time. Sometimes they gripe and complain and act like I’m asking them to go chop down trees to build a log cabin. And sometimes they are just simply clueless.
When it comes to day to day events to encourage helping others, we talk through different scenarios. I prepare them ahead of time that I will need them to hold the door open for me. And when they do, I praise them for being such kind gentlemen. And if we see someone in the parking lot or store that drops something I tell them to go and help. And this is great because they will get praise from someone other than me.
However, I have by no means accomplished the day to day training. Or the chore training either, for that matter. But I do believe we are on the right track.
The Chore Chart
When my oldest son was five we started paying him a little to do some chores. It didn’t take long for me to lose track of this. It was sporadic, and inevitably I would be out of change and try to remember to pay him later. Which I wouldn’t. I can’t remember stuff like that. I was losing the opportunity to reward him for the work he was doing. I knew I was going to need to use a chart. I saw some ideas that I liked, and then tweaked them to make it work for us.
On the left is a line for each child with a pool of chores and that may possibly need to be done. On each of these is the amount that will be paid for the chore. At the start of each week I put what needs to be done in the “To Do” column. Once the task has been done it is moved to “Completed.” It stays here until I pay them. That way I do not forget. Then it gets moved back to the pool. The chart is kept in the laundry room (as you can see in the reflection). This is a highly trafficked area and it is at their eye level.
Supplies needed:
- Magnetic board (I bought mine at IKEA for $12.99)
- Washi tape
- Magnets with adhesive backing
- Foam sheets
- Permanent marker
Notes
Family contribution chores (dishes, making the bed, picking up toys, feeding the dog) are expected to be done without payment. These are simply just contributing as a member of the family.
I give them until Wednesday to do the paid chores without being told. If they do this, they get paid double. If I tell them to do the chore, on Wednesday, they get paid stated amount. If they complain while completing chores, they work for free. If they refuse (this has not yet happened), then they pay me to do their chores.
This teaches them that sometimes you work to just help. It encourages them to work by their own initiative without being told. And it shows them that laziness will cost you money and affect others.
