Stay Sane – Page 33 – Oh Lord Help Us

I Got Screwed: Changing Our Perspective When Life Isn’t Fair

Love, Parent, Stay SaneOctober 4, 2014February 8, 2018

I got screwed. We all know what it feels like to have something unfair happen to us. We may need to change our perspective.

Here’s What Happened…

I’ve been running in this trail race series all year. It’s 6 races and you get points for whatever place you come in. Then at the end of the year they name an overall winner. Today was the fifth race and it was a 10K. So far I have come in 2nd place overall female 3 times, and 3rd place once. I felt like I would never get to come in first. Until today! I felt so good. Perfect weather, hubby running with me, and feeling good at a solid 7:30-7:45/mile pace. I was in first, with a solid lead. I was telling myself to not get too excited. Stay calm. Stay focused. And then it all slipped away.

We were suppose to be following yellow course signs. No problem. The course would be well marked they said. Well with about 3/4 of a mile left to go, there was a course sign that pointed left. Or so I thought. After realizing that I ran a complete loop, we figured out that the arrow was pointing the wrong way. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! I was so angry. SO SO SO very angry. I had a good lead, but not that much. The other people apparently knew that the course didn’t go that way (although there were a few others that made the same mistake we did). I don’t know what place I actually ended up coming in at. It was too heart-breaking.

And then…

At the end, we did tell the race director, but all he could say was “sorry”. I then proceeded to vent to my sweet friend that was there as a volunteer because she hurt her Achilles. She understood, and shared my frustration with me, but I gotta say, she is so much nicer than me. She was feeling concern about people getting hurt out there because they wouldn’t be expecting that extra distance. That didn’t even occur to me. So as I was sulking, hubby says “keep it in perspective.” Not exactly what I want to hear. I was in a foul mood.

We leave to go get brunch (because crepes and lattes will improve anyones mood), and I tell him that I didn’t want to hear “keep it in perspective.” He further explained that I was totally right to be frustrated. He was frustrated too. It was really wrong what happened and poor on the race organization to not have it better marked. His point was, “don’t hurt anyone in your frustration.” Wow. What an insightful thought. My words can be really sharp, and that was very kind of him to try to calm me down before I could do damage.

So I’ve been pondering this, and I have some thoughts that I would like to share.

Thoughts…

First, I was happy that my kids weren’t there to see how I was acting. I definitely was not setting a good example. There have been many times that my older son has gotten angry because something wasn’t fair. And I’ve said to him “life is not fair” many times. I thought that I need to remember this feeling of life not being fair so that I can relate. It’s okay to feel frustration and disappointment, but are we going to hurt ourselves or others while we are pouting and throwing a tantrum?

Secondly, I began to realize that I was not mad I had to run further; I was mad that I didn’t come in first. What I wanted was recognition; A pat on the back. An “atta boy” as my father-in-law says. Wow, that’s petty. It’s not like there was a cash prize, or even a medal for that matter. Maybe I’ll have a piece of humble pie to go with my latte.

Finally, I did start to put it in perspective. I started to think of the things in life that truly aren’t fair. Yesterday a friend found out her mom has breast cancer. Screwed. Today a family member is going to spend time with a dear friend who has a rare type of cancer and can no longer take care of herself. Screwed. After the race my sweet friend told me of a guy that had a freak mountain bike accident and died. Screwed. On the way home I found out another friends sister is in the ER because a truck ran a red light. Screwed. When we got home our babysitter told us she just learned she can’t have children and has a mass in her brain. Screwed and screwed.

Thankful…

Life really isn’t fair. But we can still be thankful. I’m thankful for my husband that loves me enough to call me out. I am thankful for friends that make me want to be a better person. I’m thankful for where I live. And my health. And the ability to run.

I’m happy with my race today. I figure I just came in first in my 11K.

xoxo

Dating on a Budget: September

Save, Stay SaneSeptember 27, 2014

This month’s edition of “Keeping the Flame Alive” was another successful event. I must admit, I wasn’t really looking forward to it. It felt a little awkward going to watch a high school football game when we don’t know anyone playing, and have no family that goes or has ever gone to this school. Here’s how the evening went down:

After dropping the kiddos off at the Y for Parents Night Out, we had an hour to kill before the game was set to start. We went to a park at the south end of Lake Robinson and thoroughly enjoyed the view and the peaceful tranquility of the moment. It was odd to see such a beautiful lake and not a boat on it. I’m glad we had this quietness, because the rest of the evening was going to be a bit more hectic.

We drove up to the high school what we thought was a little early before the game was to start. Wrong! Oh my word, people take their football so serious here. So many pickup trucks. And they park wherever they feel like it. Walking through the parking lot we could hear the drums telling us that we were late. Hubby says, “I don’t remember there being so much hoopla for football games, do you?” I gasped (thinking to myself, you were homeschooled) and said, “Ummm, we were Number 1 in the state! Yes, there was a lot of hoopla!” And thus began my night of reminiscing.

All the teenagers decked out in their school spirit, with their faces painted. The cheerleaders doing pyramids and running with flags. The marching band and color guard at half time. And of course the football players playing their hearts out. It was so heartwarming. I’ve not ever been one to get sentimental for my past. When it’s time to move on to the next stage of life, I don’t like to look back. Because of this, I don’t share many life stories with my husband. But last night I found myself talking about all these great memories I have of going to football games and then the “fifth quarter” parties our FCA would have afterwards.

Bottom line, this was a good date. We paid $6 a piece to get in and then bought snacks, so a grand total of $16. We cheered when they made a good play, and moaned when it didn’t work out. I look forward to going again, but probably not until my boys go there and we are driving them and their friends.

Mayo Just Ain’t Sexy

Be Healthy, Eat, Save, Stay SaneSeptember 26, 2014

I don’t know how to make this post exciting. It’s about mayonnaise. Some people love it, some people hate it, some people prefer Miracle Whip. I personally prefer mayo, but I’ve been a little disturbed lately about how much soy we consume in our diet. It’s everywhere. And especially in mayo, because it’s made with vegetable oil, also known as soybean oil.

So I thought I would try making my own with olive oil. Ok, people, please listen up and learn from my mistake! DO NOT USE extra virgin olive oil!!! I know it’s better for you, but don’t do it. It’s NASTY!! I had made it before with a different type and it was fine, so I was really confused. After throwing it away, my hubby found an article that explained scientifically why it tasted so bad. I won’t bore you with the science, but pretty much you can’t put extra virgin olive oil in a food processor. So learn from me and don’t waste a cup of olive oil. I use Trader Joes’s olive oil that is part extra virgin, part refined olive oil. Which means it is mostly refined.

Ingredients:

1 cup refined olived oil (not extra virgin)

1 egg yolk

1 Tb white vinegar

1/4 tsp ground mustard

1/4 tsp salt

Step 1:

Combine egg yolk, vinegar, mustard, and salt in food processor and blend.

Step 2:

Gradually add oil. Blend until thick.

The only price breakdown I know on this is for the olive oil. I had the vinegar and mustard and salt, but the cost is miniscule.

Refined Olive Oil: 1.42

Total: approx $1.50 for 8oz of mayo

Oh, the Hypocrisy!

Be Healthy, Parent, Stay SaneSeptember 21, 2014

We can all be hypocrites at some point in our lives on one subject or another. I was called out on one yesterday. By my hubby. He said he wasn’t trying to call me out. But he did.

Let me start by saying that I am very happy with my son’s school. I consider myself very lucky and blessed to be able to send him to a public school and feel good about it (maybe we can talk about this more at a later time). But there is one thing that absolutely drives me bonkers. The junk food. It is out of control!

Teachers give candy as rewards, kids brings treats in to share, the PTA sells slushies and ice cream to raise money. It’s so much. Why would teachers give out candy? If I were a teacher I wouldn’t want the students consuming sugar. Yikes! Can you imagine a class full of 6 and 7 year olds on a sugar high, and then the crash. Why do they want to make their jobs harder?

I have explained to him that it’s not that I don’t ever want him to have sweets. But I am going to limit it when I can. If a classmate brings in cupcakes for their birthday, I don’t mind because this doesn’t happen very often. And the good Lord knows I love me some sweets. You might even say I have a sugar addiction, which is why I don’t want him to consume so much. I know that he doesn’t need it and will be better off without it. With as much diabetes as there is in my family, I know I don’t need it either. But I feel like when I make desserts at least I know what’s in it. No high fructose corn syrup (just good ol’ fashioned sugar), no soy (just good ol’ butter fat), and no preservatives (just have to eat it before it gets moldy). A while ago I read an article that said if you want to be healthy, just make everything from scratch. That way you are less likely to eat bad stuff, because it takes times and effort. The problem with this is that I like to bake. If I have a hankering for cinnamon rolls, I make me some cinnamon rolls.

So now to the hypocrisy. Hopefully you all know about “Talk like a Pirate” day. It may be one of my favorite days. I learned about it by accident last year, and was happy to participate this year. Krispy Kreme has kind of taken this thing over. If you talk like a pirate they will give you a free doughnut. But if you actually dress like a pirate, you get a WHOLE DOZEN! Well, of course I did this! It’s saving money, right? Right?!?!? So I dressed up like a pirate, and dressed up my 3 year old like a parrot. HeeHee! We had lots of fun. But I didn’t really want for us to eat that whole dozen of hot, delicious, melt in your mouth goodness. I thought it would be fun to take them to my son’s school. We would surprise him at lunch to eat with him and then hand out the doughnuts to his classmates. Cool mom points, right? But what a hypocrite! Here I am not wanting my son to eat junk at school, feeling sorry for his teacher, and I’m taking in some of the most fatty, sugary treats possible. Did it stop me. Nope.

I think it’s important to do fun things with your kids. I think it’s important to be healthy. I think it’s important to be flexible. So I chose to share the doughnuts. Next week I’ll send celery sticks.

My House is Clean, and That’s OK.

Parent, Stay SaneSeptember 14, 2014May 24, 2016

My name is Rachael, and I like to clean. There, I said it.

I feel like there has been a movement of sorts to stop cleaning. I have seen several articles going around the social media scene about how people (we will call them moms) are accepting that their homes are not clean because they are busy being moms and taking care of and spending time with their children. Maybe this is because there is a crazy amount of pressure out there on us women to do it all and be it all and have it all and we are finally starting to crack under the pressure and rebel in our own little ways.

I completely agree with these articles, it is alright that homes are messy. But every time I would read one and then see one (because I had to stop reading them) I would feel so offended. See, I do have a clean house. I confess. I like things to be organized and I feel more at peace when things are put away. Why was I offended? Because I felt like they were implying that because I do clean, that must mean I’m neglecting my children somehow. But that is hogwash. I spend plenty of time with my children, taking care of their needs, and nurturing them in the ways they need. Daily I cook for them, clean them, read to them, do puzzles with them, color with them, train them.

Aha! There it is! I train them! See, a couple years ago I was expressing this guilt I felt (about having a clean home) to an older lady that has a PhD and had years of experience doing social work with children. And her response was a great encouragement. She said, “What’s wrong with teaching your children to clean and be responsible?” Oh, is that what I’m doing? So I’ve changed my perspective from “I’m just OCD” to “I’ll teach my kids to be OCD.”

When my older son turned five we introduced regular chores and he started to receive an allowance. It started with just making his bed, and has grown to making his bed, setting the table, clearing the table, dusting, cleaning windows, and helping with laundry. Then he started recruiting his 3 year old brother to help and he would give him part of his money. This is how I knew I could add chores for the little guy. He’s like an apprentice to my apprentice. It’s really cool to see their teamwork. We actually look forward to doing chores. My oldest knows that if he complains about the chores, he doesn’t get paid. If he asks to be paid, he doesn’t get paid. And he doesn’t get paid for everything. Dishes, making the bed, picking up are all standard stuff. Dusting, windows, laundry gets him 50 cents a job.

This is how we roll…

Picking up: I rarely clean up after my boys. For the most part they put their stuff away on their own when they’re done. This has taken training though. In the evening, about 10-15 minutes before dinner will be done (depending on how big the mess is), I set a timer and tell them to clean up. Whatever has not been put away by the time the timer goes off gets put into a basket and they will get it back the next day. This way their stuff is picked up before dinner, and after dinner we can focus on family time and baths and reading.

Laundry: They love loading clothes in the washer and moving them to the dryer and putting them in the basket. Like they fight over it. Weird kids. With their clothes, they are in charge of the socks. They have to sort and match, great for teaching colors to the 3 year old. For the towels, I fold the bath towels, 6 year old folds dish and hand towels, 3 year old folds rags. And we have conversation the whole time. We talk about some pretty deep stuff (for a 6 year old). This is what he craves, his “Love Language” if you will. To be with me and have me listen to him is so valuable. And the laundry gets done. Bonus!

Dusting and Windows: For this I turn on groovin’ music and we dance while getting it done. I’m usually cleaning bathrooms or sweeping while he does these.

Miscellaneous: If they leave their lights on, I take a quarter. I’ve explained to them that it costs money to use electricity and if they want to waste it, then they have to pay for it.

My strategy is, once my house is clean, it’s a lot easier to keep it clean. It’s never overwhelming to me, and I usually only spend 30 minutes at a time taking care of stuff.

I’m not saying you need to have a clean house. I truly could care less what your house looks like. And I agree that houses that are cluttered are fun to go to. And I know that sometimes, other things are going on and cleaning need to be put on hold.

We all have to do what helps us be calm. Because being calm, helps us to be better moms.

Ready For Fall Cooking

Eat, Stay SaneSeptember 10, 2014September 18, 2014

The heat is just starting to break down here in the South, and I am super excited for fall cooking. Stews, casseroles, chili….Mmmm. So I decided to make a pot of chili a couple nights ago and then let it sit in the fridge for a couple days. For some reason I think that makes the flavor even better. At dinner tonight, my son said, “this is the best chili ever, you should put this on your bread thing.” I responded with, “do you mean the blog?” “Yep!”

So I took his advice. Here is my version of my mom’s chili. It may be a bit different than what you are used to. When we first got married, my husband didn’t know what to say about it. He liked it, but said it was more like soup. I’ve backed off some with the tomato juice over the years to make it not so soupy. Enjoy! (And don’t forget to check out the cost breakdown at the end.)

Ingredients:

1-1.5lb ground beef or turkey

1 onion diced

1 green pepper chopped

1 tsp minced garlic

1 can diced tomato

1 can chili beans

2 Tb chili powder

1 tsp salt

3 cups tomato juice

Step 1:

Brown meat with onion, green pepper, garlic.

Step 2:

Add tomatoes, beans, chili powder, salt and juice.

Step 3:

Simmer for at least 30 minutes, longer if you can.

Here’s the price breakdown:

Ground turkey 3.29

Onion .38

Green pepper .67

Garlic .08

Tomatoes .59

Chili beans .59

Salt .01

Tomato juice .70

Total $6.31 for 8 servings. That’s 79 cents a serving!

We personally like to add pasta and cheddar cheese to our chili, but that is up to you!!

How to Cook for My Brother (and his family)

Eat, Stay SaneSeptember 6, 2014September 18, 2014

A few weeks ago my brother and sister-in-law and their three wonderful kiddos came to visit. It was an absolute blast! In preparing for their visit, I needed to come up with a big filling meal that would fit in a not-so-big budget. See, my brother has a bit of a reputation for how much he can eat. So I knew it needed to be filling. Also, I wanted it to be something that I could make ahead of time. That way I could spend the little bit of time we had with them, actually with them, and not in the kitchen. I decided to make my mother-in-law’s lasagna. Super yummy, super filling, super inexpensive!

Ingredients:

1 lb ground beef

1/2 lb italian sausage

1 – 13oz tomato sauce

2 1/2 cup tomatoes

2 cloves minced garlic

1 Tb parsely

1 tsp basil

1 tsp oregano

1 – 16oz ricotta cheese

2 cups shredded mozzarella

oven ready lasagna noodles

Step 1:

Combine meats, brown in skillet, drain

Step 2:

Add next 6 ingredients, bring to boil, then reduce heat and simmer 30-45 minutes

Step 3:

Layer in 9 x 13: noodles, ricotta cheese, meat sauce, mozzarella. Repeat until all ingredients are used

Step 4:

Bake 350 for 30 minutes

Now let’s talk about the ingredients. I doubled the recipe for our specific needs. I also skipped the sausage and increased the ground beef to make up for it. The garlic is minced from a jar. I used italian seasoning instead of the individual herbs. I bought everything but the lasagna noodles at Aldi. The noodles I bought at Walmart. Here’s the price breakdown:

Tomato sauce .75

Diced tomatoes 1.77

Garlic .08

Ground beef 9.22

Ricotta 3.58

Mozzarella 3.69

Noodles 1.68

Total: 20.77 for 24 servings, .87 per serving!

Please note that this is for 12 servings in each 9 x 13 pan. These servings were pretty small. Good for the kids, but the adults had at least 2 servings.

Keeping the Flame Alive; How to Date on a Budget

Save, Stay SaneAugust 31, 2014September 27, 2014

Once a month my hubby and I are guaranteed a date night, and we look forward to it with great anticipation every time. We have no family where we live and paying for a babysitter can be quite expensive when living on a budget. So every month we sign up for Parents Night Out at our YMCA (you can read about my obsession with the Y here). This way we have about 3 hours of childcare at no additional cost to our monthly membership. Just about every month we would go out to dinner. Which is great fun, don’t get me wrong. But, it kinda gets pricey. And it kinda gets boring. And we have the time restraint of 3 hours. So we have been trying to get creative and save money. Here is a list of 12 dates, one for each month. It’s important to be intentional with spending time with your spouse. Life gets so hectic, with so many things demanding our attention. It’s really easy to neglect the one that you can depend on the most. As we take our dates, I will report back to let you know how it went.

Date #1 Impromptu Picnic (rain optional)

Alright, so our first cheap date was not planned. We dropped off the kiddos and ran an errand, then sat there in the car wondering what to do. We really just wanted to sit and munch and chat and be together. So we went to Trader Joe’s and picked up pitas, hummus, wine (with a screw top), and sweets. We also got a sample cup of coffee so that we had cups to sip our wine out of. Then we sat and wondered where to go. See, it had been pouring rain all day. Not great weather to sit outside. We were willing to sit in the car, but that wan’t ideal. We went to a park with a gazebo, but there was a birthday party happening there. So we travelled to a different park to find a pavilion. First one was taken. Second one was taken. Then we found one that was a bit secluded. Perfect! We sat there under cover, listening to light rain, and thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company while sipping wine out of paper cups.

Total cost for this date: $16.75 (and we took home leftovers)

Date #2: Thrifting and Coffee

This was so much fun! My hubby found a sharp looking, name brand shirt for four bucks, and a DVD for a buck.

At another place we took a stroll down memory lane. I found a cook book that reminded me of one my mother had and used so very often.

Hubby found a series of books that he read as a child.

And we had a great time looking through old albums.

What made this date so special was that even after nearly 14 years of marriage, we were still able to learn something new about each other’s lives.

After thrifting we went to a local coffee shop and listened to live music while chatting over drinks and scones.

Total cost: $8.50 for merchandise, $13 at the the coffee shop

Date #3: Cheer on Local High School Football Team

Date #4: Mini Golf

Date #5: Indoor Rock Climbing

Date #6: Take an Art Class

Date #7: Milkshake and Video Games

Date #8: Crafts and Coffee

Date #9: Planned Picnic

Date #10: Teach Each Other a New Skill

Date #11: Do Something for Someone Else

Date #12: Bike Ride to Ice Cream Shop

I Would Like to Thank…(if I ever gave an acceptance speech)

Stay SaneAugust 26, 2014

I am pretty good at a few things, but I’m not really great at anything. I have come in second several times in races. The only time I came in first was in the Novice division at the Clemson Triathlon. That was pretty great.

All of that to say, I will probably never give an acceptance speech. BUT, if I did, this is what I would say:

I would like to thank Jesus, my Lord and Saviour (this is what everyone starts with, right). I am the most disgusting and hideous and awful person I know (because you never ever truly know someone else’s heart). I know how I am at my worst. I’ve seen what I am like without Jesus, and I hate that person. There have been too many miracles, too much grace, and too much love for me to ever doubt His existence and deny what He has done.

Secondly, I would like to thank my husband. He is truly the best man I have every known. I have had people ask how I have time and am able to do the things that I do (two kids, work, running marathons, baking bread, taking care of the house…). My first response is, I have a supportive husband. He encourages me to push myself, tells me how great I am, is a hands on dad, and works his butt off after the kids go to bed.

And finally, I would like to thank the YMCA. Yes, that is right. For several reasons I am obsessed with the Y. I can drop the kids off for up to 2 hours so that I can train and remain mentally sane. They offer a parents night out once a month! This alone makes the membership worth it. Every month we are guaranteed a date night without having to pay for a sitter. The kiddos have a blast (don’t want to leave) and we have some much needed time together without adding financial strain. The last reason for being thankful for the Y is the people. I have met some incredible ladies there. They are strong, and kind, and encouraging. If I am having a bad day going into the gym, I am completely uplifted by the time I leave.

So there it is. My acceptance speech. Now I just need a reason to give it.

Who do you attribute your successes to? Who can you thank for helping you be the best you?

If You Don’t Own a Cow…

Save, Stay SaneAugust 22, 2014September 18, 2014

I have been amazed at the price of milk (the price of everything, actually). Every time I go to the grocery the price goes up. And up. And up. One day as I was gawking at the price, I ran into the mom of my sons classmate. We were chit-chatting about kids, school, her (4th) pregnancy, and of course the price of milk. She shared with me that her family goes through 3-4 gallons of milk a week! Holy Udders! I can’t even imagine.

Anyhow, I started thinking about how to make milk go further. I remembered hearing about watering down whole milk. Sounds crazy? Well, I’m not the only one who has thought of this because there are several articles out there about doing this to save money. I mean, it is kinda a rip off, charging the same price for skim milk as whole milk. Come on guys!

So this is what we have started doing. At first my ratio was 2:1 milk to water. I have gradually increased it to 1:1. So essentially I now get my milk for half the cost. YeeHaw!!