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Stay Sane

Category: Stay Sane

I Need A Good Laugh

Stay Sane

Lots of heavy stuff going on. Lots of deep, analytical thinking. My summer started out very calm and peaceful. Now I feel like a crazy woman running around in circles. Sometimes, I really just need to step away from the chaos and have a good laugh.

A while back my oldest son was trying to come up with riddles. And then that led into the boys telling knock-knock jokes that make absolutely no sense, but they crack up so hard that I just start laughing too.

In case you needed a good laugh too, here are some of our favorite jokes (as well as some new ones)…

organized

 

 

 

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Control freak.

Con-

Now you say, “Control freak who?”

 

 

 

iceberg

 

 

 

How do you think the unthinkable?

With an ithe-berg.

 

 

 

 

 

 

dog-1

 

 

 

 

What do you get when an atheist, an insomniac, and a dyslexic get together?

Three people who stay up all night wondering if there is really a dog.

 

 

 

 

 

swing

 

 

Sally fell off the swing.

Why?

Because she has no arms.

 

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Well it’s not Sally.

 

 

golfMoses, Jesus, and an old man go golfing.

Moses tees off first, and the ball goes straight to the water. He goes over to the water, parts it in two, and then hits the ball onto the green.

Jesus tees off next, and the ball again goes straight to the water, but this time it floats. He walks on the water, and hits the ball onto the green.

Finally, the old man tees off, and again the ball goes toward the water, but before the ball goes into the water, a fish jumps up out of the water and grabs the ball in it’s mouth. Then a hawk flies over, grabs the fish, flies over the green, the fish opens it’s mouth, the ball lands on the green, and rolls into the cup. A hole-in-one!

Jesus says, “Dad, stop showing off and just play the game.”

 

vulture

 

 

 

 

A vulture boards a plane carrying two dead raccoons.

The stewardess says, “I’m sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion.”

 

 

 

 

cow-in-field

 

 

 

 

A farmer in his field counted 196 cow.

But when he rounded them up he had 200.

 

 

 

 

 

dog-2

 

 

 

A man walks into a zoo.

The only animal in the entire zoo was a dog.

It’s a Shitzhu.

 

 

 

 

 

 

laughter

 

 

 

Okay, so maybe these are a little cheesy, but that’s alright. I can do cheesy from time to time!

 

xoxo

A Healthy Treat? Yep!

Be Healthy, Eat, Recipes, Stay Sane

I was introduced to these by my super awesome cycle teacher who is also a health coach and an all around super gal. She brought these to me after my daughter was born along with a healthy meal for my family. I was amazed that something so yummy could also be healthy.

When my husband and I decided to do Whole 30 last fall, I began making these on a regular basis. I was continually modifying the recipe until I found exactly how I wanted it. It definitely helped curb the sweet cravings.

And now I am sharing it with you!

 

EnergyBites

Ingredients

  • ~30 dates, dried and pitted
  • 2 Tb chia seeds
  • 1/2 cup almonds (or nut of choice)
  • 1/4 cup cacao powder (or cocoa-it tastes yummy, just not the same health benefits)
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 Tb coconut oil
  • 1 Tb vanilla extract**

Directions

energybites1

Step 1: Place all ingredient in food processor, and blend until well mixed.

energybites2

Step 2: Roll into 1 inch balls. Store in refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

energybites3

 

Yields approximately 15 energy bites.

**Please note, the vanilla extract is technically not allowed in Whole 30. But if that is not a concern for you, I highly recommend adding it!

Enjoy!!

 

EnergyBites

What Are You Running From?

Stay Sane

In this post we are discussing the temptation to run away from difficult circumstances and instead change our perspective so that we see that the Lord is pursuing us.

I’m a runner. I’ve been running since I was 14. It is a part of who I am that I love. It is my stress release, and my sanity. Trail running, road running, short, long, fast, or slow. I love being out there experiencing every inch of my journey.

I’m also a runner. I’ve been running my entire life. It is a part of who I am that needs to change. It causes stress, and threatens my sanity. When things get tough, I flee the scene. I hate putting myself out there experiencing the difficult parts of my journey.

When my husband and I moved away from our hometown, my mother was very ill. Fighting to stay alive actually. A month after we left, she was gone. Being in a new city, with a new job, no friends, my “therapy” was to run. That was when I trained for my first marathon. A couple years ago, after my second miscarriage, I told myself I didn’t care. That it was ok because there were other things I would rather be doing. I ended up running my 15th, and fastest, marathon after that.

Now don’t get me wrong, of all the things people can do to cope with grief, running is a pretty healthy one. But eventually I needed to stop running. I needed to deal with the pain. I needed to let God catch me before I totally shut down and shut Him out.

Disclaimer: There are times in life when it is necessary to run away. For instance, God told Joseph to get up in the middle of the night and to flee Egypt with Mary and Jesus. We are not always supposed to stand and fight like David did with Goliath. But even if we do need to flee the scene, we must allow our hearts to see that the Lord is moving us in order to pursue us and to bring us closer to Him and to believe that truth.

“Runners” are people who…

Avoid situations by removing themselves from people or places that make them feel uncomfortable.

This could be walking away from relationships that become too close (leaving us feeling vulnerable), or too difficult (not wanting to deal with the pain of solving conflicts). Or we stop going to church/stores/events/etc. because something or someone offended us. We can’t live life hiding from everything. Eventually we will run out of people to hide from and find ourselves all alone, with God still pursuing. Eventually we will come face to face with Him.

Stay busy to distract themselves so that they don’t use mental or emotional energy that will cause them to feel pain.

This could be letting ourselves be consumed with work, or hobbies, or even good deeds. This can be a fine coping mechanism for short periods of time, but running from pain and heartache will eventually leave us drained with nothing else to give. Eventually we collapse with exhaustion. Eventually we look up to see that God is holding us while we rest.

Try to answer their own prayers, being impatient with God’s timing.

This may seem like a way to tackle things head-on, but it’s still running. Only, instead of running away from God, it’s running ahead of God. We end up lost in dark, confusing places. Eventually we have to call out asking for guidance. Eventually we will see the path that leads to His peace.

 

What if…

When things get tough, instead of trying to escape, we stayed still and let the Lord meet us in our place of suffering?

When circumstances arise that feel like we are being attacked, we saw them as opportunities for Jesus to pour out love on us?

When matters seem to be forgotten by God, we waited (and waited, and waited…) instead of fixing things ourselves so that we could see His incredible power?

 

 

Does this mean that the pain we experience isn’t real? Nope. It means that that real, gut-wrenching pain we feel is going to bring us into a deeper relationship with our Savior if we allow it to.

Does it make it easier? Nope. At least not in that moment. But it does give us hope, and hope is a beautiful thing.

Do you believe that God is pursuing you?

Running…but God has pursued you.

 

runner

Suddenly, Nothing Else Matters

Love, Stay Sane

This past week kinda got away from me. I didn’t take the time to write, and honestly was just not motivated to do so. This happens every so often, so I was just going to do something light-hearted. But that will have to wait. It just doesn’t seem right. I don’t feel light-hearted today. I actually feel very, very heavy. I feel heavy about loss of life this week. I feel heavy that there is so much hurt, anger, and division in our country. I feel heavy that my brother-in-law lost his father. And I feel heavy that 2 little boys lost their mom this weekend.

A classmate of mine from college whom I was in the dental hygiene program with, has lost her battle with cancer. It was all so sudden that it has left many, including myself, trying to catch up. What happened? How did this happen? Why did it have to happen. It makes me weep and want to scream.

Two and a half months ago she was performing in a local production of Steel Magnolias. Two months ago she was celebrating her son’s 9th birthday. A month ago she shared this on Facebook:

CANCER….for those who’ve wondered & those who’ve already known….yes it’s what I’ve got! The thing about cancer is, it causes a person to experience MANY different emotions but it also causes you to really reflect on life. One thing I’ve learned is that my family is so incredibly loved by SO many people that I can’t even begin to explain how that makes me feel!
And, so whatever happens during this journey…..I am blessed beyond measure because I know that I AM the daughter of a KING that is NOT moved by this world!!! There is nothing that happens in my life that HE doesn’t already know about. I shall not fear because HE goes before me! HE is the Great Physician & I know that HE will protect me….HE has great plans for me! My JESUS has me in the palm of his hand & HE knows exactly what I need when I need it!!!! And for that I am thankful!! So…It’s ALL GOOD y’all.

And today, she is gone.

She was not a close friend, but her death has hit me incredibly hard. The tears just won’t stop. Without Facebook, I probably would not have any clue what her life was like, or that any of this was happening. But I do know that she was an incredibly bright, loving, and kind person. She was when she was a part of my daily school life, and seeing the response of her death, I know that her influence has only increased over the years. Now, she is not just in the “palm of his hand” but truly in the arms of Jesus. What a beautiful image.

She was loved greatly, because she loved greatly. She is absolutely the daughter of a King who is in complete control. We do not understand His ways, but we can trust Him. We may not like the outcome, but we can rest in His peace. I agree with her, it is ALL GOOD!

I feel so much pain for her parents, her husband, and her boys. I know they are in shock, overcome with grief, and wondering how they will make it through each day. There is no advice, there are no words, to ease the pain they feel. Jesus says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” The comfort will come, but for now, just mourning. Deep, gut-wrenching, painful mourning.

It’s so easy to get caught up in day-to-day things. It’s not that those things don’t matter, or that the Lord is not using those things to teach us, or encourage us, or heal us. But there are seasons in life that our perspective shifts. For this precious family, suddenly nothing else matters. I’m sure they are not caring about what they are wearing, or what they need to get done this week, or who is running for president. They only know the love they feel for this incredibly special woman and the hole that exists in their lives now that she is gone.

For today, I have no deeper message to share. Only that I wish to weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15).

xoxo

In Her Corner, episode 7

In Her Corner, Stay Sane

This is a series to learn about different moms and their different situations. Through interviewing these women and sharing their stories I hope that we can all have a better understanding and appreciation of each other. Hopefully we can support and encourage her “in her corner.”

This episode is the second part of meeting a mom who is living overseas, and whose son has severe food allergies. This month we learn what her life is like living in the Middle East. To read the first part of the interview, which focused on being a mom who deals with her son’s special diet, check out In Her Corner, episode 6.

Who she is…

For nearly a year now, she, and her husband, and her two boys have been living in the Middle East. They weren’t actively looking to move, instead they had considered traveling during the summers while her husband, who is a professor, taught english as a second language. However, this would not work to support a family of four and pay for the medical bills due to her son’s extreme food allergies.

An opportunity arose and they decided, after visiting, that it was the best thing for their family at this time. It provided a way to pay for the medical bills and a more conducive environment for his body to heal. They are now there on a work visa, living among the locals in an apartment paid for by the university that employs her husband.

“So we did it! We just moved.”

They did not move there as missionaries, but rather wanted to immerse themselves into the culture, build relationships, and be a part of the lives of the people there. This lifestyle, however, has been difficult to know where they fit into it, and they feel like they are just trudging along.

What her life is like…

Once a week they attend a house church to meet with other Christians. Since this church is not legal, they have to be careful when they meet. Every person is required to leave their cell-phone outside so the government cannot listen in. It is not illegal for outsiders to be christians there, but they must attend one of the congregations in the church compound. And they absolutely must not talk to the locals about Jesus, or their faith.

The church compound contains 20 different churches, 6 of which are in the english language, none in arabic. And even though these churches are legal, they are heavily monitored by the government. A protestant church she visited did not read scripture once. The government keeps track of the people that attend these churches. Like, actually keep track. Names are taken, license plates recorded.

Another individual in their house church, who is a former muslim from India, is very bold about his faith in Christ. Every congregation he went to in the compound kicked him out because they did not want the attention of the government.

There are only about 100 known local believers. Several months ago, the majority, if not all, were taken to jail. These believers are quite secretive and meet in several different cities, in attempts to hide from the government. In one night, all the different underground churches, in all the different cities were raided. Everyone was arrested. Typically when this happens, these secret christians are either killed by the government, killed by their families, or shipped to another country for a lobotomy.

“I’ve read about missions and persecution. But this doesn’t feel like a God-glorifying thing. It just feels like injustice.”

Two days later, everyone was sent home. But not before all of their phones were confiscated, and their contacts recorded. Now, any westerner that was in contact with those individuals can be interrogated. Most likely, they would be blacklisted, meaning that when they leave the country they will not be able to return. The local christians were also told that if they met together one more time, things would go badly for them.

She is building a relationship with her muslim neighbors who are locals. Her neighbors are aware of their christian beliefs, but most people there assume all Westerners are christians, just as we often assume all Middle Easterners are muslim. She has also learned that they think that all christians drink and dance in church. Recently, her neighbor invited her to come over to meet some of the local women in their neighborhood. She eagerly accepted the invitation.

“It ended up being a koran study. I understood so little of it!”

They had originally wanted to have church meetings in their home, but that is not an option since there has been reports of encouraged spying at the university where her husband works. People are being encouraged to turn in people who are “very religious.” She is trying to figure out how to be bold, yet still careful.

What is difficult for her…

They are struggling to find fellowship. They are the outsiders. Not missionaries, not wealthy ex-pats, not a local. They are somewhere in the middle of all this.

“We are the weirdos…Our box of people we can get to know just shrinks really small.”

A lot of ex-pats that live there are very wealthy and live a very glamorous life. Large villas and a servant staff. They don’t want to hang out with ex-pats because the local people there do not approve of their lifestyle. Therefore, they don’t want to be associated with the ex-pat lifestyle.

Then there are missionaries that live there, and live quite modestly and are very friendly, but they have a different philosophy of ministry. And because of the organizations that support them, they have meetings frequently that has lead to a cliquish environment.

And there is the government.

“Because the government monitors everything, we only put the very positive things on social media. I’m typically a very transparent person, but now I’m not honest with anyone.”

Sometimes she wonders how much they’re giving their children by living there, and how much they’re not getting by staying in the U.S. She knows that they are where they should be and she knows she need to feel alright about it.

Spiritually it has been a struggle for her as well. Some days she feels hopeless. The lessons she is learning are long and hard, but when she finally grasps it the joy is very sweet.

What is easy for her…

“Honestly, very few things are easy. Not having to pay rent is nice!”

What her fears are…

Due to her legalistic upbringing, she worried she would be drawn to the muslim faith.

She has also felt concern that her children will end up being muslim. She wants her children to experience education in a different culture, but is nervous about what her son is learning in school. He currently is not in an arabic class, but next year it will be required. She has already spoken with the school master about this since teaching arabic involves teaching islam in school.

She is fearful that they will be living there for a number of years and still not experience real fellowship.

She is afraid that when they leave the country to go visit family they will not be able to go back because they’ve been reported.

What her joys are…

Grace has been sweeter there. She sees the bondage that people are under, and it makes her realize and appreciate the freedom she has in Christ.

Even though she does not feel fully connected in their house church, it has been a positive experience. It has been encouraging to see the unity with the families there, and seeing how the older children take care of the younger ones. Everybody is helping to take care of each other.

The bond within her own family has grown solid. All they have is each other.

What she wants others to know…

Typically, people have very specific ideas of what life is like in the Middle East, and they ask her questions to confirm their own ideas, not to hear the truth. If what she tells them does not fit into their own narrative, then they don’t want to hear it.

“I have never experienced such kindness from a group of people in my whole life.”

She wants others to realize that not everyone there is extremist. Even the locals are terrified of the Middle East. Isis has killed more muslims than any other people group. They are killing their own families.

She wants others to reach out to people, listen, and show love.

She wants others, and herself, to be better about reaching out to the foreigners. Basic, everyday things are difficult, and a big deal.

“I just today figured out where to buy hydrogen peroxide!”

After talking with this sweet lady and hearing her passion and her struggles, I was reminded of this verse:

The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God. Leviticus 19:34

Let’s not only love on this momma who is juggling so much. Let’s love on all those around us who feel alone and are struggling to make it through what we would consider to be the simple tasks of their day.

xoxo

click image to save to Pinterest

InHerCorner-7

Simple Homemade Laundry Detergent

Be Healthy, Save, Stay Sane

In my continued effort to gradually remove unnecessary chemicals from our home, I have started to make my own laundry detergent. And since I need for things to be simple and inexpensive, this is what I make.

 

laundrydetergent

 

I grew up in a Tide® home, so naturally that is what I used when I moved out, and then started washing laundry for my own family. Not any longer. Here are the ingredients in Tide® Ultra as well as what it’s purpose is and the concerns for those ingredients.

  • Sodium Carbonate: removes water hardness. No concern.
  • Sodium Aluminosilicate: removes water hardness. No concern.
  • Sodium Sulfate: processing aid. No concern.
  • Linear Alkylbenzene Sulfonate: surfactant. Shown to be toxic to aquatic life.
  • Alkyl Sulfate: surfactant. Shown to be toxic to aquatic life, and cause skin irritation.
  • Sodium Percarbonate: oxygen bleach. No concern.
  • Sodium Polyacrylate: dispersant. Shown to be very toxic to aquatic life.
  • Silicate: processing aid. Shown to be moderately toxic to aquatic life.
  • Nonanoyloxybenzenesulfonate: bleach activator. No known concern, no available data.
  • Ethoxylate: surfactant. High level of concern with causing infertility, and damage to the unborn child. Known to be a human carcinogen. Known to cause respiratory issues such as asthma.
  • Polyethylene Glycol (PEG) 4000: stabilizer. Interesting that there is no data available. PEGs are notoriously common carcinogens and known to cause reproductive issues.
  • Fragrance: fragrance. Bad for the environment, bad for skin, bad for neurotoxicity of mice. Your clothes may smell good, but you’ll act crazy.
  • DTPA (Pentetic Acid): chelant. Low toxicity to aquatic life.
  • Disodium Diaminostilbene Disulfonate: whitening agent. This is not degradable in the environment.
  • Palmitic Acid: processing aid. No concern.
  • Protease: stain remover. No concern.
  • Silicone: suds suppressor. Not enough data.
  • Cellulase: stain remover. No concern.

Now since there is a good chance you just skimmed over all those chemicals and scientific terms, let me point this one out to you again…

Ethoxylate: surfactant. High level of concern with causing infertility, and damage to the unborn child. Known to be a human carcinogen. Known to cause respiratory issues such as asthma.

Good grief!! Are you kidding me?!?!?!

Now, there are a lot of homemade detergents that include Fels Naptha and Borax. I did use this recipe for some time, until I read more about them.

  • Fels Naptha: Ingredients have potential for carcinogens, and respiratory complications.
  • Borax: Has high concern for reproductive, endocrine, and developmental complications.

So now, I make a very simple laundry detergent that I feel good about, and it is inexpensive!

Simple Homemade Laundry Detergent

Ingredients

  • 1 bar Dr. Bronners castille soap (I prefer lavender) $4.69
  • 1 cup washing soda $0.75
  • 1/4 cup baking soda $0.07
  • 1/4 tsp kosher salt $0.01
  • 20 drops lemon essential oil (I like the lavender and lemon together) $.80

Total: $6.32 for approximately 36 loads, $0.18/load (Tide is $9.99 for 40 loads, $0.25/load)

Directions

Step 1: With a food processor or cheese grater, shred bar of soap.

20160427_085154-01

 

Step 2: Combine all ingredients in the food processor and pulse until fine powder is produced.

laundrydetergent2

 

To Use: 1 Tablespoon per load.

20160427_090017-01

 

Notes:

  1. I use a dosage cup from a children medicine bottle for ease of measuring.
  2. This is safe for high efficiency machines.
  3. If it is a particularly stinky load (technicals or towels), I will add a 1/4 cup baking soda directly in the wash basin and 1/4 cup white vinegar in the fabric softener basin.

 

Click image to save to Pinterest

laundrydetergent

 

Where I found my information:

https://www.pg.com/productsafety/ingredients/household_care/laundary_fabric_care/Tide/Ultra_Tide_Powdered_Detergent_Original.pdf
http://www.ewg.org/guides/cleaners/1809-TideUltraPowderDetergentOriginal
http://www.ewg.org/guides/substance_groups/42
http://www.ewg.org/guides/substance_groups/184
http://www.ewg.org/guides/substances/5654
http://www.ewg.org/guides/substances/5426
http://www.ewg.org/guides/substances/151906
http://www.ewg.org/guides/substance_groups/230
http://www.bio-world.com/msds/41600044/PEG-Polyethylene-glycol.html
http://www.ewg.org/guides/substances/2290
http://www.ewg.org/guides/substances/12483
http://www.ewg.org/guides/substance_groups/68
http://www.ewg.org/guides/substances/5426
http://www.ewg.org/guides/cleaners/441-FelsNapthaHeavyDutyLaundryBarSoap
http://www.ewg.org/guides/cleaners/2507-20MuleTeamBoraxNaturalLaundryBoosterMultiPurposeHouseholdCleaner

 

Empowering the Fathers

Parent, Stay Sane

The role of a father is a powerful thing. As a mom, we can encourage the father of our children to embrace his role and in turn raise a generation of healthy and confident children.

Before I continue, let me make it known that I was raised by a good man, and then I married a good man. I completely understand that the father of your children may, in fact, not be a good man. Or maybe he is a good man, but you had a bad marriage. These are situations that I cannot empathize with, nor will I try to pretend that I can. In these situations, I listen. I will always listen.

Since my husband and I are pretty much perfect…hahahahaha! Um, no. Not even close. Here is the truth: My default is to yell. Or as my mother use to say (as she was yelling), “I’m not yelling, I’m talking passionately!” I often have to put myself in “time-out.” Last week I hid in my room and had “happy hour” with a beer at 4:30 in the afternoon. My husband never yells, but he has the ability to make others feel like an idiot when he talks. He can be harsh with his words if he is stressed. But we are constantly working and encouraging each other to be more loving, more patient, more consistent.

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Psalm 127:3, ESV

Here are five ways that we can empower the fathers…

Respect. By respecting my husband (and him respecting me in turn), we are modeling to our children a couple things. First, how to treat others. Second, that they must respect their father and mother. It’s what is expected. Is it always achieved? No, but when it’s not it gets corrected, both within our relationship and our relationship with our children.

What this looks like for us…

  • If I disagree with my husband on a topic, I don’t talk to him with a condescending tone.
  • I am not demanding in my tone. I ask for things to be done, I say please a lot, and thank you a ton.
  • If I disagree on a parenting action, I talk with him about it in private, not in front of the children.

Communication. This is crucial in any relationship, but especially marriage. And with honest communication, there must be trust. Because we are not perfect parents, there are times that we have to point out faults to one another. This is done in a calm, sincere manner.

What this looks like for us…

  • Pointing out that his tone was too harsh.
  • Informing him that he did not follow through on what he said he was going to do.
  • Mentioning things that he needs to be more attentive to.

Listen. Being the financial provider for our family, he can feel stressed from pressure with work related events. By listening to him vent about his day, he is then able to relax and enjoy family time when he is home.

What this looks like for us…

  • I don’t fully grasp what my husband does for a living. I kind of hate it when people ask what his does. Because of this, I often get glassy-eyed when he starts talking too technical, and he knows this. The point is that I still sit there and listen. And sometimes I can even think of good questions to ask!
  • I do not typically give advice, unless it’s an issue with a female co-worker, in which case I may play devil’s advocate and try to help him understand what is going through her mind.

Support. My husband and I do not have the same strengths, and for this I am thankful. If we had the same strengths, we would probably have the same weaknesses, and then we would be in a real mess. We are able to acknowledge these areas of weakness, which allows the other to fill-in the gaps. We are not perfect, but together we are strong.

What this looks like for us…

  • At times I have trouble keeping boundaries with my boys. They just end up wearing me down. In these times, my husband is able to step in and be the enforcer. This allows me to be a better mom in the long run because I’m not so worn out. And I appreciate not having to be the “bad guy” all the time.
  • My husband is super detailed with his career. With the children, not so much. I, however, am quite structured with home-life, and this allows everyone to be fed and clothed everyday.
  • When one of us is having a bad attitude day, the other one goes into nice-guy mode. We have even been known to tell the other, “I’m in a crappy mood today, I need you to take over.” Rarely have we both been nasty at the same time. Thankfully.

Encouragement. All of us need a pat on the back from time to time. In the trenches of parenting, we need this often.

What this looks like for us…

  • Simply saying, “You are such a good dad” goes a long way. And when there are specific attributes that he shows, I point those out as well.
  • I can never say “thank you” enough to my husband. Knowing that his sacrifices are appreciated is an encouragement and motivator to continue all the work he does for our family.

Your turn…

In what ways do you support your husband to be a strong, loving father? I would love to hear your thoughts!

xoxo

father

What Are You Afraid Of?

Stay Sane

Today we discuss situations in our lives that have left us feeling afraid and how to overcome that fear and live boldly.

For a time in my life I was afraid of the down escalator. So bizarre. I actually panicked once trying to get on it. I had to turn away, walk a loop, and then try again. I succeeded the second time. Still, I get a little nervous whenever I have to get on, but it’s much better now.

A bigger fear I have is cockroaches. For real. Even if there is one dead I can’t pick it up. I have to use the vacuum, or more likely I’ll leave it for my husband to pick up. One time I sucked one up with the vacuum but it was still alive, so I took the vacuum outside until my husband got home. When we were first married, he tried to “cure” me of my fear and have me pick a dead one up with a pair of tweezers that were on the end of a super fancy fly-swatter (why did we have a fancy fly-swatter?). His “cure” ended up with me in tears, begging him to not make me do it (we have come a long way in the past 15+ years).

The peak of this fear was when I was painting an apartment that we were going to be moving in to while we lived in Chicago. I went to remove a smoke detector, and as I was twisting it, all this dust started to fall. When I saw that it was actually roaches falling to the floor, I had a full blown panic attack. Thankfully they were all dead, otherwise I probably would have busted my head as I passed out and fell off the ladder. Unfortunately, I have several stories like this. For some reason, they only try to attack me, never my husband.

(Just for the record, our first place was new construction, which results in these bugs coming indoors. The Chicago apartment was truly infested, but we had a pest control service come and get it under control. Now we live in the country, and bugs are just a part of life.)

 

Let’s talk real fear…

I fear rejection. What if I put myself out there and no one responds? What if I pursue a friendship and get the cold-shoulder? What if I tell someone an idea I have and they don’t share my excitement?

I fear missing out. What if there is an opportunity and I don’t take it? What if it would have been a great thing? What if the opportunity never presents itself again?

I fear that I won’t always like my children. What if they disappoint me? What if they make choices I don’t agree with? What if I don’t want to be around them?

I fear that I will no longer be attractive to my husband. What if he doesn’t want to be with me? What if he wants a wife with bigger boobs? What if my heart gets broken?

Where do these fears come from? Is there any truth behind them?

There are things that happen in our lives that shape us, good and bad. Perhaps we have been rejected by friends, or a spouse, or even a stranger. Perhaps opportunities have passed that we regret not taking. Maybe we have developed an ideal in our minds that is not realistic or attainable.

We need to get control of our thoughts, and acknowledge that we have listened to lies. LIES!! They are all lies!!

We need to replace the lies with truth.

The truth is, we are loved by a perfect God. You dear momma/dear lady/dear one, are loved. Fully, completely, no-need-to-fear, loved.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. 1 John 4:18

Are people going to hurt us? Yep.

Are people going to let us down? Yep.

Are our children going to disappoint us? Yep.

We are all messy humans, and we are all going to mess up and cause messes.

But our identity, our confidence, our self-worth… it does not come from other people, or situations. We can live boldly because we have been loved boldly. We are fiercely loved. And in that love, fear can no longer remain.

Afraid…but GOD has loved me.

 

So what are you afraid of?

xoxo

Fear

In Her Corner, episode 6

In Her Corner, Stay Sane

In this episode we meet a mom who is living overseas, and whose son has severe food allergies. This is the first part of the interview, focusing on being a mom who deals with her son’s special diet. Next month we will learn what her life is like living in the Middle East.

This is a series to learn about different moms and their different situations. Through interviewing these women and sharing their stories I hope that we can all have a better understanding and appreciation of each other. Hopefully we can support and encourage her “in her corner.”

Who she is…

A mom of two boys, living on mission in the Middle East. They are not there as missionaries, but rather living among the people there, building relationships, and being prepared to share the message of Christ with them. Her husband’s career provided an opportunity for them to move there which has been beneficial due to her younger son having extreme food allergies. 

Where she is at…

Literally, she is in the Middle East in a country that cannot be disclosed. The government there listens into phone calls, and uses phones to listen to conversations that you are having even if you are not using your phone. She has a secure VPN, so this interview took place via a video conferencing app, after she hid her phone in the other room.

Where she has been…

Things with her son started off difficult at birth. She had wanted a natural, unmedicated birth, and things were going as planned, up until she reached 10cm. He was coming down the birth canal throat first, which could have caused his neck to snap. Suddenly, everything changed. They were putting her under anesthesia in order to perform a c-section. The last thing she heard before going under was a nurse yelling that she couldn’t hear a heartbeat. When she awoke, she was in a room by herself feeling the fear that she had lost her son. Thankfully, he survived.

He was a slow grower, but initially they were not concerned. Both she and her husband are small people, so they naturally assumed he was just going to small. At eight months, however, they were really concerned with his lack of growth, and they started going in for monthly weight checks. She felt like nursing him was not enough, and he wasn’t interested in solids so they started giving him raw goat milk, which did help, but not a enough.

Around 10 months old he started to eat more solids. Then the rash started. By 12 months he was covered in what the doctors thought was eczema. Every doctor she went to prescribed him steroids, but she felt in her gut that is wasn’t truly eczema. It got to the point where he didn’t have any skin left. She would get him up in the morning and she would see blood in his crib.

“He looked like a burn victim.”

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It took 6 months of searching for an answer before she found another mom whose child dealt with the same thing. They went to see the specialist that this mom recommended. What they discovered was that his intestinal wall was basically mesh. Everything he ate was leaking into his blood stream. His body was making allergies in order to fight the food particles.

The doctor started him on a series of injections that were specifically formulated for his body. These injections, that he receives every 2 weeks, were to begin right as they were going to be moving to the Middle East. The doctor, who said that her son is the worst case he has ever seen, taught her how to administer the injections so she could do it while they were over seas. They have seen a huge improvement in the past 9 months, with just occasional breakouts on his skin. They will eventually start spreading out the frequency of injections until they are able to wean him off.

Because his body develops new allergies due to the food particles leaking into his blood stream, they have to cycle his food. This way his body doesn’t have a chance to develop an allergy. At one point there were only 5 foods that he could eat, now he can have 30 different items.

His body is still not able to fully digest his food. He is not able to absorb all the nutrients of the food he consumes and this results in eliminating solid pieces of food. He was 18 months old before having a normal poop.

All she wants is for her son to be healed. Right before this past Christmas she saw that all his toenails needed to be cut. This was a gift of hope that his body is healing because he had so infrequently needed his nails trimmed. Now that his body is absorbing nutrients, his fingernails and hair are actually growing. He has gained 3.5lbs. in the past 9 months.

What her days look like…

She spends a lot of time cooking and preparing food for her son in large quantities and freezes them in individual portions. Then she cycles through them to make it easier for her to plan and keep track of his limited meal options.

It has been helpful living in the Middle East due to the dry climate and being close to the water. But it has been difficult trying to explain to people in a culture that loves to share and give food why they can’t do this for her son when she does not speak their language. She has learned the word for infection, but still struggles with communication.

“I was trying to explain to someone that he has an allergy. In arabic it would have been translated literally, ‘the infection belongs to him.’ But how it came out was, ‘No thank you, you have an infection.’“

Food allergies are not common there. The diet consists mostly of rice and fresh fish. Grocery shopping is difficult because items come in on ship freighters, and there are not regular shipments of them. If there is an item she likes to buy for her son, but they run out, it may be another 6 months before it is back in stock.

“I have started hoarding!”

What her strengths are…

She is an organized person that likes schedules and lists. It has been fun for her to learn new recipes and be creative with the few foods he can have.

What she struggles with…

Even though she likes planning, she is not always good at implementing. She tends to procrastinate which results in running out of stuff which results in him not eating as healthy as he should on some days.

She struggles that they can’t all sit down and eat the same meal. She hates that she has to always carry food around with her.

This aspect of their lives has been a burden that she has been carrying for a while now, and because of this she has adjusted to the weight of the load. She looks forward to when she no longer has to be consumed with food rotations being a part of her everyday life.

What her fears are…

She is nervous about putting him in school if things are not yet cleared up. She worries that he will eat things that he is not suppose to because she won’t be there to monitor.

She is afraid that he won’t ever get better. And she wants to make sure that he doesn’t feel limited in life by this.

What her joys are…

It has been sweet for her to see how her older son is super protective.

She believes that their family is becoming more like Christ, having to serve her son by sacrificing at times what the rest of them want to do. It has made them more unified as a family.

How she stays sane…

Starbucks.

“I used to go running, but I can’t go running here. I can’t dress modestly enough to run in the heat.”

The Starbucks there is exactly the same as a Starbucks in America, so it is a piece of home.

She also takes an arabic class twice a week that has given her something to focus on.

What she wants others to understand…

“Before we had a diagnosis, everybody under the sun had an article for us to read, and an essential oil to put on him.”

Don’t be so quick to offer information, instead offer a listening ear.

“I’m already overwhelmed, in the doctor’s office trying to figure it out, spending so much money on yet another treatment.”

She feels grateful when people validate what she deals with.

“Someone saying ‘Man, that takes a lot of energy.’ has meant more to me than anything else.”

 Oh mommas! We never really know what others are dealing with. Let’s encourage one another, support one another, and love one another. Hang in there momma, you got this!

Are you a momma that needs encouragement? Do you know someone that needs someone in her corner? I would love to meet her! Please feel free to contact me and we can chat.

xoxo

InHerCorner-food_allergies

 

End of Year Homeschool Review

Parent, Stay Sane

One-hundred, and eighty days. Done. Our first year of homeschooling has come to a close. And we are still smiling. Of course, there were a few tears and aggravation sprinkled along the way, but we probably would have had that regardless. Bottom-line: He wants to continue, and so do I.

Here is:

  • What worked
  • What did not work
  • How I occupied the other kiddos
  • The Negatives
  • The Positives

What worked

Being relaxed: I’m what you would call a structured, driven, type-A kinda gal. But there is something about having a baby that throws plans out the window. And since that is what happened right as the school year started it helped me be more laid back about our school day. We were constantly changing our routine, because our routine was constantly changing. Also, we did pretty much the bare minimum of what was required, but we did it well. Our school day was at most 2 hours. This is partly because I didn’t want to spend any longer than that and partly because we were adjusting to a new rhythm of life for our family. And of course he was just in 2nd grade. I know that every year is going to get more challenging from here on.

Starting early in the year: We started in July, but it was only two days a week. We did this because I was due to have a baby in August and I wanted to give myself a maternity leave. But it was awesome! And I think we’ll do it again this year. It gave us a lot of flexibility to go and do things that we wanted to do. And living in South Carolina, the summer is so stinkin’ hot and humid, that I would rather have more days off in the spring and fall.

Having a set start time: It took a little while, but eventually he understood that 8:00 meant sitting down to start. There was no argument, it was just what happened.

Using timers when needed: Half of his subjects he did on his own in workbooks. Some days he was completely focused and knocked these out with no problem. Other times, I would have to urge him to stay focused. And then there were the times that I didn’t think he was ever going to finish and I was about to lose my mind (REALLY?? 30 minutes for 6 math problems?? Are you serious?!?!). And it was at these times I busted out the timer. I don’t know why it is, but if there is a timer, he is super motivated (and this goes for anything from cleaning his room to getting dressed). I don’t like to use timers all the time though, because it does tend to stress him.

Curriculum: I did not choose to use one specific curriculum. We used a hodgepodge. Half of it I loved, a quarter of it I scrapped, and a quarter we struggled through and will switch next year. But this is the beauty of homeschool, I can tailor it to fit his learning style (which is actually different than I originally thought).

What Did Not Work

Squeezing two days into one: We tried this several times. As life adjusted to the new baby, I wanted to get back to running, swimming, and taking my cycle class at the YMCA. The running I could do at home on the treadmill, the swimming I could do in the evening, but the cycle class just couldn’t budge. And I am seriously addicted to this class (not just the exercise, but the people are amazing). So we would “double up” on Mondays so that we didn’t have to do any school on Tuesdays. Sounds like a great idea, right? Wrong!! It usually ending with me feeling aggravated and him feeling frustrated.

Doing school in the afternoon: Since doubling school on Monday didn’t work, I thought we would try to fit it in during the afternoon. I know this works for lots of families, but not me. I am just mentally done with kids in the afternoon. That is the time of day I want for all of us to have down time, and then for them to go run around outside, or goof-off indoors if the weather is bad. My solution was to make Tuesday a “half day.” On these days he only had workbook learning to do, which he could do without me (and I would check and correct errors the next day).

Curriculum: As I mentioned earlier, there are several subjects we will be changing next year.

How I occupied the other kiddos

The 4 year old: At the start of the year, when he had just turned 4, this was difficult. I had some workbooks for him to do, but I was not always available to help him with them because of needing to work with my older son, or having to take care of the baby. Having him play with puzzles and blocks worked much better. As the year went on, and he wanted to do “big kid” stuff like his brother, he became more into coloring in coloring books. And then towards the end of the year, he began participating in the  lessons. He still struggles with his letters, but he can tell you what a preposition and pronoun is!

The baby: At first, she just slept and that was glorious. By the middle of the year, she was entertained in the exersaucer. Toward the end of the year, she was crawling and getting into everything. I’m a big fan of having babies of this age play in the pack-n-play. She is in the living room, so she can still see us, but she is contained. This may only last for 30 minutes, but that is precious time!

The Negatives

I have had to sacrifice a lot of alone time. My mornings that I used to spend at the gym, are now spent with all 3 kiddos. My afternoons that I once spent resting, writing, reading, etc. while my children napped are now interrupted every 10 minutes because my older 2 kids don’t nap. And even though we all have designated spots for “down time” they find me. They always find me.

Another negative is that him and his brother are always around each other. And even though they love each other dearly, I feel that they get tired of each other. Because of this, I am strongly considering joining a co-op next year. Some time apart would be beneficial.

The Positives

Our lives have such a calm rhythm right now. We don’t have to rush out of the house to get to school. I don’t have to wake the baby in the afternoon to pick him up from school. If there is something we would rather do than school, we have the flexibility to do so (within reason). I’m able to challenge him in certain subjects and work with him where he is weak. Last year, he came home almost every afternoon feeling discouraged and saying that he had a bad day. He has had moments of feeling frustrated this past year, but they were few and far between.

 

The choice to homeschool was a scary one, but I do not have any regrets. One year, one semester, one month at a time. I have no idea what we will be doing years from now, but I do know that I already bought the curriculum for next year!

 

Homeschool-Review

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