A New Mission

This blog began nearly 2 and a half years ago with me really not having any idea of what I was doing. Who knew that the blogging world could be so complex? It was simply a way to express my heart and I felt that there was some advice I could give to help others in how to juggle things in their lives.

A little over a year ago I began to take the blog more seriously. I began to watch webinars and read a lot of other blogs to learn how to promote and grow the blog’s following. It was helpful, but honestly quite overwhelming.

Last spring I began sharing a new message, along with a line of products, to encourage people to replace the lies in their heads with the truth of what God says about them. I have been amazed at how the Lord has used such a simple message to encourage and challenge those who heard it.

This message has changed my focus and the mission of Oh Lord Help Us. It has become a ministry, no longer a business. My heart and intention is to have all proceeds from the items go right back into this ministry and be able to contribute financially to other ministries such as care for foster children and refugees.

The focus before was to encourage moms and give practical advice for how to balance life. This was a valuable pursuit, but I feel this message needs to reach more than just moms. I don’t want for a lady to feel this is not a place for her to be loved and cared for because she does not have children.

When my first son was born I began to pray over him, “Lord, I pray that he will grow to be strong and confident knowing who you have created him to be.” I don’t want my child to feel pressure to be something he is not. I want for him to be comfortable with who he is as a child of God. I believe the Lord feels the same for all of us.

This new focus will be on allowing the Lord to transform us into the person He has created us to be. We have been created to be confident, beautiful, healthy women with a desire to love the Lord, and to love those around us. Oh Lord Help Us is to be a place where people are encouraged to shake off the lies and live a life of freedom.

The vision I have for this ministry cannot be accomplished on my own. I am not able to handle it emotionally or physically. It is meant to be accomplished by a passionate and imperfect group of ladies who are seeking truth.


Help!

This is my call for help! If you have been blessed, encouraged, or challenged by any of the messages posted on this blog, please consider teaming up with me.

Not sure how to help?

Gather

During a gathering, I share a message about replacing the lies in our heads with the truth of what God says about us. Following this there is a time of discussion. Products to serve as a reminder of these truths are offered at the end. Ladies hosting receive a 30% discount on items.

Hosting can be done either as an online Facebook event, or if I am local it can be done with a group of ladies in your home. Local would consist of Raleigh, NC, but I have connections in the Greenville, SC, Louisville, KY, and the D.C. area. If you are in those areas, we can talk!

Engage

Are you willing to go a little deeper? A discussion guide is being developed so that a bible study with other women can be done over a 6 week period. There is freedom we experience when we share our lives with others and make ourselves vulnerable. Ladies interested in this option will receive 25% commission on any items sold.

Writing 

Do you currently write on your own blog? Do you love to write, but feel overwhelmed by having your own site? Are you thinking about writing, but not sure if you can do it consistently? Let’s team up! Whether it is a one time thing, or something on a consistent basis, I need your help with posts on either healthy living or spiritual growth.

Social media

Pictures, links, encouraging thoughts, etc. These are all things that need to be shared across several different social media platforms. This could be an occasional or steady help. It may even be to simply share posts with others! If social media is your thing, then we need to talk!

Thank you for considering these options. You can email me at rachael@ohlordhelp.us or contact me through various social media messages.

Oh Lord, help us be who we are created to be.

Lawbreaker

Pulling into Target, my 5 year old says to me, “Mom, are we all going in?” I answered him, saying that we all needed to go in since I was the only grown up. “You could leave us in the car, I don’t mind.” Hmm, so tempting. But I explained to him that I couldn’t do that because it’s not safe, and it’s against the law. And here began a lengthy explanation of what a law was…

“Laws are rules that tell us how to live with others so that everyone can live safely. Rules are a good thing. I wouldn’t leave you in the car regardless, because it isn’t safe. But sometimes we need help knowing what is the best way to keep ourselves safe.”

(I didn’t go into my thoughts about how ridiculous some laws are. I’m talking to my five year old. I want him to like rules!)

He pondered this while we were eating lunch in the car, waiting to go into the store. Finally, he asked, “So is chewing with my mouth open against the law?” No, I explained, that’s just rude.

This is complicated stuff to explain on a five year old level. Heck, there are plenty of adults who don’t understand the point of having laws.


Over the past few months, I have been slowly working my way through the book of Exodus. I felt it was fitting to read about the Israelites journey to the promised land after we had just gone through a journey to our new city.

I have just gotten to the part where God gives Moses the Ten Commandments. We all like these laws. Most of modern society is based on these laws. Christianity and Judaism obviously follow them, and Islam has a version that is very similar.

  • I am the Lord your God, you shall have no other gods before me 
  • You shall not make for yourself an idol
  • Do not take the name of the Lord in vain
  • Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy
  • Honor your father and mother
  • You shall not kill/murder
  • You shall not commit adultery
  • You shall not steal
  • You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor
  • You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor

After these ten, the laws that God gave Moses get all crazy specific about oxen and sheep. Then they become quite uncomfortable when they are in reference to slavery and women. And finally God wraps up His meeting with Moses by giving instruction for how things are to be done in the temple.

I realized, just like in our society our laws are to protect us from ourselves essentially. God was protecting the Israelites as well.

»He gave laws to protect the slaves. Unlike slavery that took place in our country, they had to be set free after 6 years. And the masters were to be punished if they treated them poorly.

»If someones property was stolen, or damaged, its was to be made right in restitution.

»Women, who had no rights, were still to be provided and cared for.

»The poor were not to be taken advantage of.

If you lend money to any of my people with you who is poor, you shall not be like a moneylender to him, and you shall not exact interest from him. Exodus 22:25, ESV


The struggle…

Can I be honest with you and share something I struggle with? I keep wondering, why didn’t God just outlaw slavery in the first place? Why didn’t He just tell men to treat women as equals? Why didn’t he command that the poor were to be provided for?

My mind finally settles on that we are just not in heaven yet. We long for it, but it is not attainable. People are greedy, for both money and power. It is our sinful nature to look out for ourselves. The Lord knows this, and He hates it, but He also understands that we are mere humans. The laws given by the Lord were His way of showing them the best way to live within their culture. But even within their culture, there was absolutely no way for them to obey all of them all of the time. They were set up to see their need for salvation.

The whole time I was reading through these laws, I felt such gratitude that Jesus came, lived a perfect life, and took my punishment for being a lawbreaker. I feel hopeful for a future with no slavery, no discrimination, and no poverty. Come, Lord Jesus, come!

Note: Moses meeting with God up on Mt. Sinai can be found in Exodus chapter 20-31.

If you would like to follow along with me on my Exodus journey, please join me on Instagram, using #ohlordhelpusjourney

You Are Beautiful

I acknowledge that my life has been blessed. I was raised by a mom and dad who loved each other, and loved all four of us kids. I still have good relationships with all of my siblings. I married a man who adores, supports, and encourages me. He is hard working and has provided well for our family. My children are healthy, and (most of the time) fun to be around. I wonder at times if others see my life, and think that I have it all together. I’m not sure what they see, but I know that they don’t see it all.


What others may not see…

People didn’t see me when my mom died, and how I lost it at work having to excuse myself from a patient because the tears just would not stop. No one saw the chasm that was growing between my husband and I during that time because we were both so steeped in self-pity. They didn’t see the guilt I carried because I was the only one of my siblings not present when she died. Others didn’t see the whirlwind of busy work I was doing because I wanted to avoid dealing with the grief.

Others also didn’t see me grow bitter when my husband’s job wasn’t enough to support us. Or when he was out of work. They didn’t see the bitterness grow to anger against God when we stepped out in faith to begin a business, only to have years of financial hardship follow.

No one saw the hurt I held on to when rejection from others happened, and then happened again, and then yet again. They didn’t see me sitting in church alone because I was told “no” when I asked to sit next to someone. People didn’t see me crying in the car, begging my husband to not ask me to go back to church.

They didn’t see me as a new mom, completely unsure of myself, not knowing what I suppose to do. Wasn’t I suppose to love this little person, half me/half my husband, right from the start? I didn’t. I felt trapped. I screamed, and cried, and had melt downs. And when the second child came, it all started over again. People didn’t see the bruises on my legs from where I hit myself repeatedly because I hated who I was. It’s hard when you don’t like yourself, there’s nowhere to go to get away. Unless I chose to drink. Yeah, they didn’t see that either.

People don’t see the days that I can’t seem to do anything other than lose myself in mindless activities, trying to find things to do so I can ignore the things I need to be focused on. No one sees me struggle with certain aspects of my faith, questioning in silence because I’m afraid of the response from others.

My life is kind of like my house. It looks clean when you walk in, but please don’t go into my closet, or try to open a drawer. It’s the inside where the mess lies. My life, like my house, can be quite messy.

No matter how good the lives of others may seem, we don’t know what mess there is inside of them. Inside of all of us there is a mess, but… Oh friends, I am so thankful to have a “but” in my life story. I am messy, but God… thinks I am beautiful. When he sees me, he sees someone who is perfectly imperfect. He has taken my messed up life, redeemed it, and is making it beautiful.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6, ESV


How about you?

The Lord also tells us, through the prophet Isaiah, that He will replace our mourning. He will give us beauty. His healing and redemption is what makes us beautiful.

Mourning involves admitting that there is, in fact, a mess. It’s acknowledging the reality of our situation. When we stop pretending, stop running, stop lying to ourselves and others, then we give the Lord the freedom to transform it into beauty.

So… What kind of messes are in your life?

Messy, but God… thinks you are beautiful.

 

(And I think you’re beautiful too!)

beautiful

DIY Headboard

When we moved this past fall, we left a lot of our furniture and wall decor in our house to stage it for potential buyers. This included our master bedroom furniture, which was no problem for me since I wanted new stuff anyway. The problem is, we still have not sold our home, so there are no extra funds to purchase furniture or decorate. Which then presents the problem of feeling like I’m living in a temporary situation and having a difficult time feeling settled in our new city. Not to worry, my husband and I love a good DIY project and challenge. Being able to make the most of what we have is a trait we desire to pass on to our children.

When we moved in, we hit it off with our neighbors right away. It was such a blessing, and then they told us they were moving. Major bummer. In their process of moving, they told us that there was a bunch of wood in the backyard that they needed to get rid of if we wanted to use it for fire wood in our backyard pit. Turns out, it was a bunch of 4 foot fence slats. Forget the firewood! These are perfect for DIY projects. We made a coat hook for our foyer, and wall decor to hang pictures on, but my favorite was the headboard. I’m in love with this thing!



headboard-cut

First, we selected boards that were straight. Then cut of any ends that were damaged and made sure they were square.

headboard-backboard

Next, we cut a piece of plywood a few inches smaller than the dimensions we wanted for the headboard and stained it so the lighter wood would not show through any of the seams.

headboard-sand

Then, we sanded each board to make them smooth and to get the dirt off. We were originally planning on staining the slats, but after sanding them they were naturally a beautiful color with interesting grains throughout.

headboard-layout

We laid out the boards to get an idea of what pattern we wanted and to mark lines of where to cut.

headboard-measure

Measured and made sure the slats were level, as well as overhanging the plywood an inch or so.

headboard-nail

Yay for nail guns! (Please use caution!)

headboard-attached

All the slats nailed on.

headboard-legs

What we did not take into account before hand was screwing the legs on. My husband ended up removing some of the slats, screwing the 2 x 4’s on, and then nailing the slats back on. He didn’t want to risk screwing them on from the back and the screw messing up the slats. Also, the headboard could have been attached directly to the wall, but we did not want to do that. The 2 x 4’s were bolted to the bed frame.

headboard

All done! Isn’t it great?!?
We were able to use what was given to us, and make the most of what we had.
I’m thankful to do life with a man who understands being flexible and using creativity to make life better.

diyheadboard

What Do You Want?

Taking the month of December “off” was such a good thing. I was able to focus on things that I had been neglecting, and gain clarity on things I had been struggling with. I relaxed and enjoyed plentiful time with my family both near and far. I was present, and calm, and it was just plain wonderful. And now begins the journey of 2017!

I love the New Year. It is actually my favorite holiday. Not because of wild New Years Eve parties, though. Last year I didn’t even stay awake to midnight. No, I love New Years because of the promise of hope. I love being able to look out at the year and imagine good things. I imagine the year filled with excitement, and peace, and challenges. I don’t want an easy year. I want a year that will leave me being a better person than when I began it.

I may write down some goals, but I don’t let them control me. I don’t get upset if they are not achieved, or make myself miserable trying to accomplish them. I see goals like I see life. They are taking me on a journey. Some years are more difficult than others never knowing what obstacle is going to pop up next, and other years are slow and tedious and mundane. This is why we need to be flexible when setting goals. Having goals simply helps me to be intentional in knowing what is worth pursuing.


My Goals…

Spiritual I’m not going to tell you that I need to spend more time reading my Bible, or go to church more consistently. I have no time for “Sunday School” answers. These are great things of course, but what matters is my heart. Do I desire to know Jesus more? Or am I fine going along and doing my own thing. Do I long for His peace? Or do tend to worry and try to solve problems myself. My goal is to focus on him more and stop focusing on the messes in my life. Yes, he knows about my mess, and yes he cares. In times of chaos, it may be that all I can do is curl up in a ball and let him hold me. I will aim to be still, and let him comfort me. In my stillness, I will focus on his strength, not my weakness.

Health Healthy to me means being able to be active and do the things I enjoy doing. Healthy is not a number! I want to have energy, and not have aches and pains. Being healthy includes both exercise and nutrition. There is no simple, quick solution to being in optimal health. This may mean adding some things, and eliminating others. And it may require some trial and error, but that’s alright as long as I’m making progress.

Social I know this may sound silly, but one of my goals this year is to be better about acknowledging birthdays. See, I have this issue with my birthday. I’m afraid that it won’t be remembered or acknowledged. So, in order to “protect” myself I don’t acknowledge birthdays of other people. That way I have no reason to be upset. Twisted, right? The deeper goal here is to make myself more vulnerable.

Business I have big dreams and a vision for what I want to see happen with Oh Lord Help Us. This goal I have to hold with open hands. I will be sharing more about this in the upcoming weeks.


Your turn…

What do you want?

What are your goals?

What dreams do you have?

I want to hear about them!

goals

Maybe I Should Keep My Mouth Shut?

I have been known to stick my foot in my mouth a time or two. Once, I even did the unthinkable and asked a lady when she was due. I know better than to ever, ever, ever ask that. But I was pregnant, and I was at a party where I didn’t know very many people, and I was trying to strike up conversation. She was 8 weeks postpartum. I felt like dirt. No, I felt like dog poop smeared in dirt. If I had only kept my mouth shut and observed, I would have seen her baby and said something encouraging. But no, I jumped the gun, hurt her feelings, and destroyed any possibility of ever becoming friends with her.

Isn’t this true in so many areas? If we would just keep our mouths shut, and listen and watch what is happening around us, we could keep ourselves from looking like an insensitive idiot, and more importantly, keep from tearing others down.

Earlier this week, my oldest son was getting angry with his little brother and came to me wanting me to back him up. In other words, he was being a tattle-tale. I cringe when this happens. He says, “Mom, he’s playing with my [some toy] and I’ve asked him to stop and he’s not.” I guess since he asked first, he thought he should come tell me, but we have an open-toy policy in this house. The only exception is if the toy was bought with their own money, but even then we encourage being generous. Not sharing is just not practical.

I asked him why he didn’t want his brother to play with it. He responded, “Because it’s something special to me.” Honestly, it was just too early in the morning, and I couldn’t think of how to handle it, so I didn’t say anything. Not a single word. I just looked at him, and went back to feeding my little girl oatmeal.

Not even two minutes later, he came back. “Oh, never mind mom! He wasn’t playing with [this special toy], he was actually playing with [some other not-as-special toy].” Ummm, wow. I called him back into the kitchen and asked what he had just learned. And he actually answered with, “Make sure I have all the information before getting upset.” I could almost hear the “Hallelujahs” all the way from heaven!

In college I was profoundly challenged to not be so quick to respond and cast judgement on others. A speaker shared a moving message about the passage in the bible when the religious leaders were wanting to stone the woman caught in adultery.

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say? This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” John 7:53-8:11, ESV

At the end of the message, we were instructed to pick up a piece of paper that was under our chairs and wad it up, pretending it was a stone. The speaker then put a picture of Monica Lewinsky up on the screen. I was so convicted. I, like millions of others, had criticized and condemned this young lady. Instead of “throwing stones,” I need to keep my mouth shut. (If you are too young to remember Monica, she had an affair with Bill Clinton while he was president.)

Now please note, in this passage of scripture, Jesus did not excuse the woman’s sin, in fact, he told her to stop sinning. But he did it after he pardoned her. It was also in a private moment. He didn’t call out her wrongs in front of a crowd to humiliate her. He didn’t make her feel guilty, so that she would show remorse. Because he was the Son of God, he was able to know the whole story. And he forgave her.

We rarely know the whole story. And we will definitely never learn if we don’t stop and listen. Let’s be kind, and patient, and generous with others. Yes, there are times when we need to confront a friend or family member. But in that moment, proceed with gentleness, not in haste throwing stones. And there will also be times when we need to remain silent and observe. Before sharing an article, double check it. Before commenting your disapproval, read a different view. Before anything, pray.

I’m comfortable enough with myself enough to admit that I just don’t know everything. I will strive to listen and learn. Will you please do the same?

stones

 

Bye Bye Santa!

The time had come. It was time to tell our oldest child, who is 8 (and a half), that we had been lying to him for the past several years. It was time to tell him that who he knew as Santa, was all make-believe.

This was not approached lightly. We sought advice from family and friends. I searched the internet to see when was the best age to shatter their little hearts. I searched for what was the best way to tell them. We even considered letting others tell him. And in the end…

Let’s go back a bit in time first. Way back actually to when I was a child. I personally have no memory of believing in Santa Clause. I am the youngest of four, so I have just always assumed that I never had a chance to believe in him because there was no way my siblings would have been able to keep that secret. My parents taught me about the real St. Nicholas, and that all good gifts come from God. Christmas was actually about the birth of Christ, and my Barbies came from my parents.

I never had any intention of starting the whole Santa fiasco. But kids just somehow pick up on it, even if they are not in school. When my oldest was 3 I asked him who his presents were from, and he responded with, “Santa!” Since then, we did get on the Santa sled of lies joy. We would leave out cookies, I would write notes “from Santa,” and of course go and see Santa! And oh! Going to see Santa was the best. For the past three years, we have taken our kiddos to a family Christmas event that my husband’s company would put on. It is so well done. All of it is put on by the actual employees, including Ol’ St. Nick. Turns out Santa works in the technology field. Who knew. My son truly believed that the real Santa Clause came to his dad’s work every year. Santa at the mall? He’s a fake.

Last year my husband considered telling him. I just couldn’t do it. And after talking with my sister, and hearing how her son reacted with a look of heartbreak, I knew it just wasn’t time. But this year… well, my son can be quite sensitive, and he is now in school. I just did not want him to be told at school and not be able to respond however he felt.


It was time.

It began with my sons making Christmas lists. Listening to my older son making comments about his list and Santa, my husband gives me the look. We step into the other room and have an impromptu how-we-are-going-to-handle-this meeting. It was decided. It was time.

We went outside and sat on the steps.

Me: So do you remember how we learned about the real St. Nicholas who lived many hundreds of years ago?

Him: Yes.

Me: And how he secretly gave gold coins so a young lady could marry who she wanted to?

Him: Yes.

Me: And people started to secretly give gifts to celebrate Christmas?

Him: Yes.

Me: And you know that the real St. Nicholas is no longer alive?

Him: Yes.

Me: And who you know as Santa Claus is based on this real person?

Him: Um, yes.

Me: There is no Santa Claus.

Him: (eyes wide as saucers) What?

Me: There are no elves…

Him: Oh, I knew that already.

Me: There is no workshop at the North Pole. There are no flying reindeer.

Him: I was going to ask Santa about that! Wait- Then who is that man at dad’s work?!?!?

Me: (fighting back giggles) Um, well, just some man who dresses up as Santa.

Him: Then where do all my presents come from?

Me: Well… dad and I.

Him: How do you do all of that on Christmas Eve?!?!?

Me: (all out laughing at this point) We don’t do it all on that night. We buy stuff ahead of time.

Him: You must be super tired then on Christmas, having to be up all night setting out presents. (You’d think that we buy them crazy amounts of toys. I assure you we don’t. I think last year they got 2 toys each.)

Me: So are you ok?

Him: Yeah. I’m a little bummed though.

Me: I know buddy. Now, you are not allowed to tell your friends at school, or your brother!

It really went very well. I expected tears and uncontrollable sobbing. It ended up being quite light-hearted and humorous. Now that a few weeks have passed, he is really getting into talking up Santa with his little brother. He is enjoying being on the inside of this little ploy with us!


Is it the right time?

Here is my non-psychologist-but-I-am-a-mom advice if you are finding yourself in this situation:

You know your child. Trust yourself and trust your little one. If you have developed a trusting relationship with them, they will continue to trust you. But you may want to confirm that they will still get presents even though Santa is not real!

Also ask yourself:

  • Are they able to know the difference between fantasy and realty?
  • If they find out from others, how will they respond?
  • Are they starting to question certain aspects of the Santa story (elves, reindeer, etc.)?

 

Have you told your children the truth about Santa? How did you tell them? Did they take it well?

 

xoxo

 

 

santa

Homemade Biscuits

Nothing makes me feel cozier on the inside than eating a hot, freshly homemade biscuit. It brings back memories of my mamaw serving us at her kitchen table. The biscuits were, of course, covered with sausage gravy. And there were always a few extra biscuits to have with my papaw’s raw honey as “dessert.” It was glorious!

Here is my recipe that I have developed over the past few years. Enjoy!

biscuits

 

Ingredients

  • 2 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 Tb baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/3 cup butter, cold and sliced
  • 3/4 cup milk

Directions

Step 1: Combine flour, baking powder, and salt

Step 2: Add butter. Use pastry blender until cornmeal texture is achieved.

Step 3: Stir in milk until dough is formed. Knead on floured surface 10 times.

Step 4: Roll out dough to 1/4 inch thickness. Cut with 2.5 inch circle cutter (or drinking glass).

Step 5: Bake 425 for 14 minutes or until golden brown.

 

biscuits-ingredients

biscuits-blend

biscuits-dough

biscuits-done

No Longer Broken

Ever feel like life just isn’t fair? Yeah me too. I’m just going along, minding my own business, doing the right thing because it’s the right thing, and then BAM!!! Life slams you down.

It could be the death of a parent,

…or spouse,

…or even a child.

Or it could be an unfaithful spouse.

Or an employer who has it out for you.

Or that investment that left you unable to retire,

…or homeless.

Or how about cancer, it could be that too.


Broken

The things that leave us feeling broken are tragedies out of our control, or things that have been done against us, or a result of our own mistakes.

Tragedies emphasis our lack of control in this life more than anything else. You don’t plan for car accidents, or cancer, or for the housing market to crash. And even though it is completely out of our control, it’s easy to to question ourselves and the Lord. We start to play the “what if” game. What if we had made different choices? But we didn’t, and we are unable to undo what has been done.

Wrongs done to us or against us make us want to scream against the injustice.  It’s an attack, abuse, or assault. And even though it has been done to us by someone or something else, we feel responsible. Maybe if we hadn’t taken that risk, or chosen that mate, or followed that dream then we wouldn’t be in this position of feeling broken. We wouldn’t have to feel this pain or take the first of many steps on the journey of healing.

Or maybe our brokenness is because of poor choices. The guilt is heaviest here. How long do we have to suffer the consequences? How many times do we need to say we are sorry? Probably, at least one more time…

You have taken up my cause O Lord, you have redeemed my life.

Lamentations 3:58


Redeemed

To redeem is to either compensate for bad, or to gain something in exchange for payment. In our desire to find redemption, we find ourselves asking, “What good could ever come from this?”

Know The Lord sees your hurt. He hears your groans. Believe that He wants good things for you. Trust His timing, not yours.

Confess If your brokenness is due to mistakes you have made, admit them, and apologize. And if it is possible to remedy the wrong, then do so. Your brokenness has also resulted in the brokenness of others. By confessing and repenting, you will be aiding in their redemption as well. And then please be patient with them as they are healing. Forgiveness may have happened, but trust takes longer to return.

Hope Continue to long for better things. We live in a broken world full of sin. Yet our souls were created for eternity. There will always be a yearning for more or better. Long for Jesus. Hope for His peace

Trust In the bleak hours, trust that He will redeem your story. He is faithful.

Now I’m going to tell you what you don’t want to hear. I want to be honest with you, and not mislead you in any way. It may be that the Lord will not redeem your story in your lifetime. I know that is not what any of us want to accept. We need to know that our stories may not be for our own benefit, but for those to follow. As a follower of Christ, who believes in eternity, I know that my time on earth is a vapor, a mist, and then gone. But that doesn’t mean that my actions don’t continually affect others long after I am gone. The purpose of life is to glorify God, not myself, or to have an easy, carefree life.


I know there are women reading this who have lived through domestic abuse, sexual abuse, cancer, eating disorders, loss of loved ones, affairs, physical disabilities, addiction, loss of income and homes. The list goes on. At some point in our lives, all of our hearts have been broken. He will redeem your story, and though it may not be pretty, He will make it beautiful.

Dear lady, the Lord loves you fiercely, and pursues you fiercely. He sees your brokenness, and He cares. He will mend you. He will redeem you, and your story.

Broken, but God has redeemed me.

 

xoxo

 

broken

You Are Powerful

We have tremendous amounts of influence. And with that influence, we can change our lives. Want a better marriage? Children who are growing into amazing people? Even better behaved pets? As women, we are always desiring control. Well, here it is. This is not about manipulation. This is about encouraging others to be their best selves.



Marriage

This past week I heard a talk about relationships and how men need respect the same way women need love.

Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33, ESV

I thought it was appropriate timing, as it was my husband and mine’s wedding anniversary. This was not anything new, I’ve heard this many times before, but I was so encouraged by what was said.

To be honest, I have been slipping with showing respect. Blame it on stress, or selfishness, but I can’t blame it on him. My tone has been becoming harsh. I’ve been quick to jump to conclusions. I was becoming a nag. Thank you Jesus for bringing this to my attention, and please forgive me!

If we want to be loved passionately by our spouse, then we have the power to change the cycle. Don’t wait for him to be Mr. Romantic. Instead, respect who he is. Focus on one thing that is impressive. And tell him.

Ways to express respect:

  • I am so impressed how you… (handled that situation).
  • I really admire how you… (work so diligently).
  • I think it’s great when… (parent that way).

You can only control your own actions. With our actions, however, we can influence others. By respecting our husbands, we are influencing them to love us in return.

Children

My middle child, who is now 5 years old, still tends to throw a tantrum when he is frustrated. It usually involves something he is trying to make that is not producing the results he desires. This past week he became frustrated that a drawing he was working on wasn’t looking the way he wanted. I understand getting frustrated, but when he starts whining and stomping his feet, my head wants to explode! My natural tendency is to try to overpower him, but this only results in him continuing to escalate. He was sent to his room, where he continued to to cry and yell. With a quick, “Help me Jesus,” I went in his room and told him to stop acting like a whiny baby. Yes, that is what I said. No, this is not the advice I’m giving. In the next moment, the Lord gave me the words.

“You are acting like a whiny baby. You are not a whiny baby. You are a smart, talented, hardworking little boy! You are a hard worker who likes for things to be done well. You are fun, and compassionate. Be that little boy, because that is who you are!!!”

His tears of anger turned into one of his signature bear hugs. He was like a completely different child after that. I’m not saying to call your child names (although you may want to), but do affirm to them the traits that will continue to develop them into amazing people.

Overpowering our children to produce “better” behavior is a short term response at best. But by influencing their hearts, and speaking truth to them, they will be truly changed.

Pets

A week ago I was about to ship my dog to live with my parents in Kentucky. She was getting on my very last nerve, and I was struggling with being so angry with her. One of the best parts of this new house is a good size, fenced in backyard. I was looking forward to letting the kids and dog run free in a safe enclosed space. And then, wouldn’t you know it, she figured out a way to escape. That was how we met our next door neighbors. Our dog was humping their dog. And our dog is a girl!! What the heck?!? She also has been obsessed with the shed in the yard. I’m pretty sure there is some little critter living under there that she is desperate to get ahold of. So desperate in fact, that even when it was pouring down rain during the hurricane, she would run out to dig at the side of the shed. And of course, she wouldn’t come when she was being called. So out I go to get her, wet and muddy, and carry her back into the house. Something had to change.

I realized I was being controlled by a 15 pound ball of white fluff. Punishing her for being naughty was not working. Maybe praising her for being good would be better. I have given that dog so many treats this past week. The first few times I had to entice her from out in the yard to come inside. As soon as she came to the door I gave her a treat and showered her with praise. Then I could show her the treat and call her from the deck. Now, she actually comes! In just a matter of days, I have my sweet puppy back, and I don’t worry about what the neighbors think because I’m yelling at my dog.


Final Thought

We have the power to change our lives. By showing respect and kindness to all of those around us we can begin to spiral upward in our relationships rather than spiraling downward into despair. Respect produces love, which in turn produces more respect. I know this sounds super simple. Please know that I am not that naive, especially in regards to a relationship with a spouse. If the relationship has been spiraling down for years, it is not going to be transformed in a week, or month, or maybe even a year. Pray for endurance, pray to be satisfied by the love of Christ, and pray for the supernatural ability to pursue your husband even if you feel he doesn’t deserve it.

You, dear lady, have power with your influence!

 

xoxo

 

powerful

 

 

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