This is a series to learn about different moms and their different situations. Through interviewing these women and sharing their stories I hope that we can all have a better understanding and appreciation of each other. Hopefully we can support and encourage her “in her corner.”
This episode is the second part of meeting a mom who is living overseas, and whose son has severe food allergies. This month we learn what her life is like living in the Middle East. To read the first part of the interview, which focused on being a mom who deals with her son’s special diet, check out In Her Corner, episode 6.
Who she is…
For nearly a year now, she, and her husband, and her two boys have been living in the Middle East. They weren’t actively looking to move, instead they had considered traveling during the summers while her husband, who is a professor, taught english as a second language. However, this would not work to support a family of four and pay for the medical bills due to her son’s extreme food allergies.
An opportunity arose and they decided, after visiting, that it was the best thing for their family at this time. It provided a way to pay for the medical bills and a more conducive environment for his body to heal. They are now there on a work visa, living among the locals in an apartment paid for by the university that employs her husband.
“So we did it! We just moved.”
They did not move there as missionaries, but rather wanted to immerse themselves into the culture, build relationships, and be a part of the lives of the people there. This lifestyle, however, has been difficult to know where they fit into it, and they feel like they are just trudging along.
What her life is like…
Once a week they attend a house church to meet with other Christians. Since this church is not legal, they have to be careful when they meet. Every person is required to leave their cell-phone outside so the government cannot listen in. It is not illegal for outsiders to be christians there, but they must attend one of the congregations in the church compound. And they absolutely must not talk to the locals about Jesus, or their faith.
The church compound contains 20 different churches, 6 of which are in the english language, none in arabic. And even though these churches are legal, they are heavily monitored by the government. A protestant church she visited did not read scripture once. The government keeps track of the people that attend these churches. Like, actually keep track. Names are taken, license plates recorded.
Another individual in their house church, who is a former muslim from India, is very bold about his faith in Christ. Every congregation he went to in the compound kicked him out because they did not want the attention of the government.
There are only about 100 known local believers. Several months ago, the majority, if not all, were taken to jail. These believers are quite secretive and meet in several different cities, in attempts to hide from the government. In one night, all the different underground churches, in all the different cities were raided. Everyone was arrested. Typically when this happens, these secret christians are either killed by the government, killed by their families, or shipped to another country for a lobotomy.
“I’ve read about missions and persecution. But this doesn’t feel like a God-glorifying thing. It just feels like injustice.”
Two days later, everyone was sent home. But not before all of their phones were confiscated, and their contacts recorded. Now, any westerner that was in contact with those individuals can be interrogated. Most likely, they would be blacklisted, meaning that when they leave the country they will not be able to return. The local christians were also told that if they met together one more time, things would go badly for them.
She is building a relationship with her muslim neighbors who are locals. Her neighbors are aware of their christian beliefs, but most people there assume all Westerners are christians, just as we often assume all Middle Easterners are muslim. She has also learned that they think that all christians drink and dance in church. Recently, her neighbor invited her to come over to meet some of the local women in their neighborhood. She eagerly accepted the invitation.
“It ended up being a koran study. I understood so little of it!”
They had originally wanted to have church meetings in their home, but that is not an option since there has been reports of encouraged spying at the university where her husband works. People are being encouraged to turn in people who are “very religious.” She is trying to figure out how to be bold, yet still careful.
What is difficult for her…
They are struggling to find fellowship. They are the outsiders. Not missionaries, not wealthy ex-pats, not a local. They are somewhere in the middle of all this.
“We are the weirdos…Our box of people we can get to know just shrinks really small.”
A lot of ex-pats that live there are very wealthy and live a very glamorous life. Large villas and a servant staff. They don’t want to hang out with ex-pats because the local people there do not approve of their lifestyle. Therefore, they don’t want to be associated with the ex-pat lifestyle.
Then there are missionaries that live there, and live quite modestly and are very friendly, but they have a different philosophy of ministry. And because of the organizations that support them, they have meetings frequently that has lead to a cliquish environment.
And there is the government.
“Because the government monitors everything, we only put the very positive things on social media. I’m typically a very transparent person, but now I’m not honest with anyone.”
Sometimes she wonders how much they’re giving their children by living there, and how much they’re not getting by staying in the U.S. She knows that they are where they should be and she knows she need to feel alright about it.
Spiritually it has been a struggle for her as well. Some days she feels hopeless. The lessons she is learning are long and hard, but when she finally grasps it the joy is very sweet.
What is easy for her…
“Honestly, very few things are easy. Not having to pay rent is nice!”
What her fears are…
Due to her legalistic upbringing, she worried she would be drawn to the muslim faith.
She has also felt concern that her children will end up being muslim. She wants her children to experience education in a different culture, but is nervous about what her son is learning in school. He currently is not in an arabic class, but next year it will be required. She has already spoken with the school master about this since teaching arabic involves teaching islam in school.
She is fearful that they will be living there for a number of years and still not experience real fellowship.
She is afraid that when they leave the country to go visit family they will not be able to go back because they’ve been reported.
What her joys are…
Grace has been sweeter there. She sees the bondage that people are under, and it makes her realize and appreciate the freedom she has in Christ.
Even though she does not feel fully connected in their house church, it has been a positive experience. It has been encouraging to see the unity with the families there, and seeing how the older children take care of the younger ones. Everybody is helping to take care of each other.
The bond within her own family has grown solid. All they have is each other.
What she wants others to know…
Typically, people have very specific ideas of what life is like in the Middle East, and they ask her questions to confirm their own ideas, not to hear the truth. If what she tells them does not fit into their own narrative, then they don’t want to hear it.
“I have never experienced such kindness from a group of people in my whole life.”
She wants others to realize that not everyone there is extremist. Even the locals are terrified of the Middle East. Isis has killed more muslims than any other people group. They are killing their own families.
She wants others to reach out to people, listen, and show love.
She wants others, and herself, to be better about reaching out to the foreigners. Basic, everyday things are difficult, and a big deal.
“I just today figured out where to buy hydrogen peroxide!”
After talking with this sweet lady and hearing her passion and her struggles, I was reminded of this verse:
The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God. Leviticus 19:34
Let’s not only love on this momma who is juggling so much. Let’s love on all those around us who feel alone and are struggling to make it through what we would consider to be the simple tasks of their day.
xoxo
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