“An accomplished young woman shares how healing from her past in foster care created a new path forward to finding her true calling.“
The Honestly Adoption Podcast
I found Jai through this incredible podcast. She was a guest on an episode called, “How Caregivers Can Better Prepare Foster Youth for Adulthood”. She was so brilliantly well-spoken and I loved the hope I felt listening to her story. On the podcast, she talks about entering foster care at 16 to find unconditional love from a foster mom. She also shares how she aged out of a system that left her to figure things out on her own.
Jai is also a public advocate for policy changes. She consults with Foster Care agencies to teach how to best support aging out foster youth. In the podcast episode, she shares how 80% of the homeless near her are former foster youth. Listening to the heartbreak in her voice is compelling. Recent statistics say that nationally, less than 3% of foster youth who age out will obtain a college degree. After many challenges and hard work, Jai has crushed that statistic and many more!
Jai’s Challenging Beginning and the Impact of Being Fatherless
As a first-generation Caribbean-American, my early years reflected the experience of the Black-American community I was raised in. Growing up in the projects of Staten Island, it was typical for Black-Americans to be raised by a single mother. The recurring theme of fatherless families conditioned my thoughts, actions, and behavior to believe that this social construct was the “norm” for little girls who looked like me. This eventually manifested itself as abandonment, which I would carry well into my adulthood.
A 4 Letter Word that Held Me Back
The search for “home” is ongoing. After living in 7 states and attending 17 schools, it was quite difficult to pinpoint where home was. Colleagues and friends innocently ask, “Where is home for you?” without knowing how painful those words are for me to hear. At about age 24, I realized that the word home was a trigger for me. Simply because the idea of home was too closely connected to my identity.
The story I told myself growing up was that I was abandoned and forced to experience the hardships of foster care because I grew up without my father. The mental, emotional and spiritual agreement with that toxic belief manifested itself as me not being able to locate where “home” was for me. Once I stripped my identity of being connected with “home” and focused my identity on who I was in Christ, the healing process with that simple 4 letter word began. This process is ongoing simply because healing is a process driven by everyday choices.
Choosing a Different Path Than I Set Out For
What drove me to age out successfully and “fight” the system, was my desire to become a doctor. After managing to spend 3 years in college, perform research, travel abroad and experience a life I never thought I would attain, I found myself empty. At 22 years old, I remember accepting a partial scholarship to Virginia Tech Carilion School of Medicine through a guaranteed admissions program. Finally, I was one step closer to following my dreams of becoming a doctor right? WRONG!
After writing my personal statement, and accounting the events that took place the last 7 years of my life, I was forced to face my past, trauma, and pain. As I took account of the trauma I’d experienced until that point, I reflected back on my life and wept. Upon sharing that personal statement with the Dean of Admission, she was amazed by my story. But she had one simple question for me. “Why do you want to be a doctor?” This was the beginning of the end of that seemingly sure season in my life.
Shortly after that I dropped out of school all together and went on a search to find Jai. I wanted to know who Jai was. I wondered what her God given gifts were and the purpose she would serve here on this Earth. During these 3 years, I dealt with shame, inadequacy, and doubt however. But in the end I truly met myself. This time spent away from the educational system set me free from feeling boxed in and being defined by my C average grades.
A New Focus in Moving Forward
Upon discovering my “why” and how I could best contribute to humanity, I was in the best position to find a career that aligned with who Jai was to the core. During these three transformative years of my life, I pondered five life-long questions that led me on a path to healing, destiny and purpose. Those questions that I discovered from the late Myles Munroe are
- Who am I?
- Where am I from?
- Why am I here?
- What can I do?
- Where am I going?
Answering these 5 questions about my life put me in alignment. It gave me the best chance at walking in my destiny and experiencing a life of healing I never knew possible. My years of being in foster care are behind me. This newly-healing Jai is coming back to truly see others find themselves freer and bolder to chase their true callings.
Letter from Inspiring Hope to you:
Dear Jai,
I have been so inspired by your journey to give back and live out your personal faith so well. You exude so much grace and peace! I am so thankful you allowed wise voices to help redirect your life to a space that brings you life and God the most glory. Your redemption is still playing out friend, and I pray that so many blessings will fill your life this year! Was in absolute tears reading your struggles with the idea of “home”. I know myself and many out there will resonate with your struggle and the hope you offered.
Even with the mounting challenges and struggles of facing your past, the work you are doing in policy, writing, and stepping up to be a strong voice is changing lives. So proud of who you allowed God to mold you into despite having every reason to quit. We are just beginning to see all the incredible plans he has for you, thanks for gracing us with your wise words and heart.
If you would like to follow Jai’s journey as well, feel free to follow her on Instagram @jaimecca or purchase her book here
You can also follow this amazing podcast community @honestlyadoptionpodcast and listen to Jai’s Episode below!
This collective is in partnership with the social enterprise hopeandvine.org; An employment and mentoring program for aged out young women in Wake Forrest, NC.
