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Turning: Repenting of Our Sins and Returning to The Lord

DevotionalsJuly 21, 2019July 21, 2019

True repentance happens in turning away from our sins and turning back to the Lord. Once we are in right standing with Him, we can face any battle.

I had had enough. I was at the end of my rope, and I was angry. A root of bitterness was taking ahold of my heart, and I was blaming anyone and everyone–my kids, my husband, even God–for my situation.

There were too many bills and not enough money to pay them. Too many hours in the day with the kids and not enough activities or patience to fill them. Way too many frayed nerves and not enough peace to calm them.

In this perfect confluence of stressors, I was overflowing with anger and frustration. And my husband was bearing the brunt. Instead of turning to the Lord and asking Him to forgive and help me, I was turning my back to Him. In doing so, I was making everything even worse.

Turning Our Back…

What is it about turning our back to someone that makes us feel powerful? When we refuse to engage with someone, we don’t hold any true power over him. And we surely don’t have the upper hand.

In fact, in an actual physical fight, the most vulnerable position one can assume is turning his/her back to the opponent. Self-defense 101 cautions to never turn your back to your attacker. When you do so–unable to see what he’s doing– you render yourself defenseless against his attack.

And, what’s worse, as believers when we turn our back on our own ally, the Holy Spirit, we weaken our defenses against our true enemy: the devil. The Holy Spirit’s role is to comfort, counsel, and empower us to face any challenge we encounter.

So, by turning away from Him, we expose our weak side, making us even more vulnerable to our enemy’s attack. And we know what the devil’s sole intent is:

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy…
John 10:10, KJV

A Hard Heart…

Part of me knew what I needed to do, but my heart was hardened to the point that I refused to pray to the Lord and ask for help. And I’d begun to feel justified for feeling the way I was feeling and for acting the way I was acting. Even though it was getting me nowhere, and actually setting me back, I stubbornly refused to pray.

Because of your hardened and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath, when God’s righteous judgment is revealed.
Romans 2:5, CSB

By refusing to pray, in essence, I was doing the devil’s work for him. I was fighting against myself. Beloved, when we turn away from the Lord, we side with our own enemy. But my hardened heart had blinded me to this reality.

Thankfully, the Lord does not take any delight whatsoever in watching us suffer as we play into the enemy’s hand. In fact, He wants nothing more than for us to turn away from our sin, to turn our back to our real enemy, and to turn again to Him–our very present help in time of need.

Say to them, As I live, declares the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die, O house of Israel?
Ezekiel 33:11, ESV

Turning Back…

Luckily my husband has pretty razor-sharp spiritual discernment, so he understood the state that I was in. Even though my mouth was hurling fiery darts at his heart, he was deflecting them with patience and lovingkindness. And he kept encouraging me to pray with him and to ask the Lord to help me. I thank God for giving me a husband who is a true man of God, who can recognize when he needs to fight for me in the spirit. Even when I am trying to fight against him in the natural!

It took me awhile–way too long in fact–but eventually, I agreed to pray. I wish I could say I repented quickly, but honestly, it was a pretty slow, forced, and ugly process. But as I began to pray, the hard shell on the exterior of my heart began to crack, then soften. And before I had finished praying, all of the stony parts of my heart seemed to melt away, leaving trails of hot tears streaming down my cheeks.

Repent ye therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, that so there may come seasons of refreshing from the presence of the Lord.
Acts 3:19, ASV

When we turn away from our sin–in my case, frustration, bitterness, anger, and fear–we can turn back to the Lord. And that is what repentance simply is: turning back to our Savior. Turning back to the One who loves us, and forgives us, and washes us clean. And when we are in right standing with Him, we will be able to face the real battles in our lives.

When we turn away from our sin, we can turn back to the Lord. Repentance simply is: turning back to our Savior. Turning back to the One who loves us, and forgives us, and washes us clean. Click To Tweet

Search Me…

No matter how far along we might think we are on our spiritual path, we never outgrow our need for repentance. I think too often we as believers view repentance with a capital R. Like it’s a one time, one of a kind thing that we do only when we’re first saved. When the Lord first forgives us.

But repentance begins with a little r. It’s just a regular, daily thing that we have to do as believers. Turning our hearts back to the Lord has to be a common, daily practice because unfortunately, sinning and falling short of His glory is a daily, ongoing challenge.

But thankfully, the Lord has made a provision for this continuous problem: repentance. Any time we feel disconnected or out of sync with the Lord, we can ask Him to search our hearts and reveal any areas where we have strayed. And when we humble ourselves and turn back to Him, fully repenting for our sin, He softens our hearts and erases our slates. He continually takes away our hearts of stone and gives us hearts of flesh.

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24, ASV

Is there an area in your life that you need to turn back to the Lord? Do you treat repentance as something that begins with a capital R or a small r?

Christiane Nuetzel

repentance, sin, shame, surrender, Oh Lord Help Us, Christian, women, mentor, ministry

New: Dragging Our Haunting Shame to the Feet of Jesus

Devotionals, Stay SaneDecember 4, 2018January 13, 2019

There are days we allow shame to take over our minds. We must remember that through Christ we are made new, our sin has no hold over us, we are redeemed.

It’s no wonder winter brings so much sorrow. It’s downright ugly outside…most days. Winter has a way of isolating us. Or is it hibernation? There are days it’s hard to get out of bed. Days where past transgressions flood our minds and paralyze our ability to push through.

I believe, there’s a direct correlation between the grayness of the sky and how much pain we allow in.

Haunted

Days like these truly haunt me. Yes, I do love the occasional rainy, snuggly day. But, a whole season of gray really does a work on my mind.

It takes strength to push down the enemy and his lies. Moreover, it takes strength to ask the Lord to be your strength. It’s just easier to wallow in loathing. To toss and turn in the mixture of mud and pure white snow…muck.

That’s just what we do. We take the new, clean slate the Lord paid the ultimate price for, and roll it through the slopping mess that is sin and shame. Every time I allow the past to rule my present, I take my tiny human hand and smack my Savior right in His blood-soaked face. Soaked from the thorns and nails meant for me.

It’s important for me to make this image strong and unforgettable because my deep, dark sin seems to be strong and unforgettable. An unrelenting force, pushing its way to the surface of my being; begging and pleading for the acknowledgment of my darkness.

Remember how wretched you are!? Relive all that darkness; dwell on it. Nail it into your memory! May you NEVER forget how pathetically weak you truly are.

Surrender

I can’t imagine what my life would look like if I surrendered every day to these hauntings. If I didn’t have the anchor of Jesus. I understand self-harm and suicide so clearly. It’s the absence of hope, the inability to overcome the ghosts, torture the mind cannot endure.

In the depths, the pits, when we have come to the end of ourselves, and truly don’t know what to do next, surrender is our only option. Who we surrender to is the question…

Will we surrender to the one who wishes to devour our souls? The one who never forgets our sins and wants nothing more than to destroy us…

Or, will we surrender to the only One who can truly save us? The One who forgets all our filthy, wretched crimes and covers us with His love…

The answer seems easy, but in the midst of battle, it can be hard to tell up from down, light from dark…

Light

Yes, I understand how heavy and dark these words have gotten. But, it’s in this darkness God shines the brightest. (Sorry to get cliche on you…but also not sorry.) Think about it. God cannot outshine Himself, nor can He be the darkness. So in the darkness, He shines brightest and in the light of life, He is.

Okay, I’ll take my philosophical cap off and talk real talk…

When we decide to surrender to the One, Jesus, it allows us to see His brilliance clearly. His light bursts through, piercing the depths and disintegrating the blackness. When we choose to surrender every day, not just in the depths, we see His light in everything!

New

EVERY DAY I have to drag my sin and shame to the feet of Jesus. I demand it to stare my Savior in the face…

“Look at HIM! Look at His sacrifice on my behalf. You have no power here. You will not shadow His sacrifice in order to ridicule me. Nor will you reduce me to trash. I’ve been beautifully purchased through the blood of Jesus. You are forgotten. I am redeemed. I am new.”

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him.

2 Corinthians 5:17-18, NLT

Think about this verse… really dwell on it…

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8, ESV

That means He became our sacrifice even though we are wretched. He died on our behalf even though we are disobedient. He took our place even though we continue to sin, and sin again.

EVERY DAY we must drag our shame to the feet of Jesus. We must demand it to stare our Savior in the face... Click To Tweet

Psalm 51

When my disgrace pushes it’s way to the surface, I try my best to remember I’m not alone. I’m living in a world full of people with sin. Those who have lived before me, aren’t blameless either. Case and point, David…

When I read Psalm 51, I remember just how sinful we can fall. But also, just how much we are in need of salvation. Psalm 51 was penned after David’s dealings with Bathsheba… if you don’t know how ugly this part of David’s life is, read 2 Samuel 11. You’ll understand why this Psalm is so powerful.

Sisters, when our sin “haunts us day and night” (Psalm 51:3), may we recognize the price Jesus paid… We are “washed whiter than snow” (Psalm 51:7) through His blood.

repentance, conviction, condemnation, Oh Lord Help Us , Christian, women, ministry, scripture

Repentance: Understand the Difference Between Condemnation and Conviction

Devotionals, Stay SaneMay 23, 2018September 8, 2019

Condemnation leads to guilt and shame. Conviction, however, is God’s loving kindness leading us to repentance and back to His refuge.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:1, ESV

If that is true, why do so many wrestle with feelings of condemnation? I believe it’s the fine line between condemnation and conviction.

The difference…

Condemnation oozes from the knowledge of laws and rules. When I feel condemned, I seek to soothe the discomfort of guilt and shame. There are plenty of cheerful quotes on Pinterest to set me right. There’s generally glitter and flowers and unicorns on them, too. Or a Chevron pattern. Whatever floats your boat. Frankly, I’ve come to know that condemnation plugs the holes in my boat with a sponge.

When I feel condemned, I seek to soothe the discomfort of guilt and shame. Click To Tweet

Conviction is entirely different because it is borne from the Holy Spirit and leads to repentance. Understanding Almighty God fully loves me means I no longer fear punishment; I know I am His. In response to the sin that separates me from Him, conviction leads me back to His loving arms.

I’m not spending enough time with the Lord.
I don’t have enough self-control.
I’m not good enough for God.

Condemnation screams: “You should be more. You’re not good enough.” Well-meaning friends (and social media) argue “You are enough!” But the guilt perpetuates. Because the reality is—I keep falling off the proverbial wagon and landing face first in the mud. The cycle repeats ad nauseam. Why? Because contrary to popular belief, it’s not the thought that counts. Feeling bad about something and saying I’m sorry is about me. When I feel convicted I have to be vulnerable, repent, and ask forgiveness; because I know what I did caused brokenness.

Conviction says: You’re right. You’re not good enough. “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ.”(Ephesians 2:4, ESV).

From death to life…

This can be a hard pill to swallow initially. It seems to contradict fairness and encouragement. However, when the Bible talks about us being dead in our sin it’s only figurative to the point that we don’t know when our physical bodies will perish. Yet we are literally spiritually dead as a doornail until God breathes life into our dead souls. We cannot ultimately save ourselves from anything.

No one is getting up and walking out of a morgue. You’re dead on a slab. Resuscitation is off the table—you have to be resurrected.

Edward Hunt, Associate Pastor Sojourn Fairfax

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

John 3:17, ESV

How deep the Father’s love for us! He sent Jesus! It is He who makes us good enough through the work of His Spirit. Friends, it is God’s kindness that is meant to lead us to repentance. Not fear of judgement or completing our check-list of self-punishment.

The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

Psalm 34:22, ESV

Refuge…

When the boat is sinking back into condemnation land, or the wagon threatens to throw us off, we must find refuge in Christ. And if we still feel swept out to sea and can’t see any redemption or refuge in sight, let’s do a little backwards planning (as my husband likes to say). The instruction in Psalm 34:22 is to run to the Lord for rescue. Deliverance isn’t found anywhere else.

Those who look to him are radiant with joy; their faces will never be ashamed.

Psalm 34:5, CSB

When sin creeps in, don’t allow condemnation to drown you. Instead, permit conviction to bring you back to the One who loves you with an everlasting love. Take shelter in His arms; and worship your Redeemer.